Fifty Shades Another Path
by Jossie Mow
Summary: What if when Christian decided he should punish Ana's defiance and inability to keep an important promise? Begins after Christian's trip to New York- Ana decided to go out with Kate breaking her promise to Christian. Christian learns how to be dominant within a loving marriage... Contains non-consensual spanking, and much more besides... please don't read if you don't like
1. Chapter 1: Pre Emptive Strike

**Background: **

**Last Night (Chapters 9 and 10 of '50 Shades Freed') Ana decided to give in to Kate and go to a bar against the wishes of her security detail. In doing so she is breaking the promise she made to Christian while he is away on business in ****New York****. She drank too much in response to Kate's revelations about Christian tightening up security for the whole Grey family. She feels patronised being kept in the dark. She is angry. **

**On arriving home, Jack Hyde has broken in, and in a foiled attempt to kidnap her, been caught and arrested. While Ana slept, Christian returned from ****New York**** in response to Ana's defiance in going to the bar, and has been shaken to the core when on arrival home, he learned about Hyde. He has never been so furious, or so scared. He was distant and cold this morning and struggled with his urge to "beat the shit out of her". Ana went to work. Christian and Ana had a heated email exchange about the reasons for Christians return from ****New York**** during the day, and have agreed to discuss it this evening. **

**My story starts just before she leaves work. (last few paragraphs of _Ch 10_.)**

I'm not ready to go home and face Christian yet. I skipped lunch, too mad to eat. That will not go down well. Why did I have to think about that? Now I feel a little guilty. I head to the office kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and search for something to eat. I find one large, stale chocolate chip cookie at the bottom of the jar and it will have to do. I'm going to need every bit of energy before I confront my husband.

I sit back at my desk and decide to email him. The best defence is offence! A pre-emptive strike; that is what this calls for.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Feeling the chill

**Date:** August 26 2011 5.01pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Christian,

I have a few things to finish up here so will be a little late home. I am telling you this so as to avoid another MASSIVE OVEREACTION.

I am pissed off with your frigid responses to me today. After last night, the last thing I want or need is a fight.

Your meltdown over my cocktail consumption seems to have blotted out the relief you SHOULD feel that we are safe and that Hyde is behind bars.

Your coldness towards me has in turn 'blotted out' any guilt I _might_ have felt about changing my plans last night! I don't think I committed the crime of the century and I think you should be happy I'm safe, so don't start on me about the cocktails!

Ana

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Fight Night

**Date:** August 26 2011 5.09

**To:** Christian Grey

Anastasia,

We have a lot to discuss; and I don't want you feeling chilly.

You should probably take note of the following:

i) My relief at your surviving last night unharmed and with minimal trauma, (no thanks to your thoughtless disregard for my instructions) is unquantifiable.

ii) I am of course also relieved that Jack Hyde is off the streets- for now at least.

iii) Regardless, my fury at your behaviour is undiminished. You were, from what I hear, somewhat anesthetised from the full horror of last night events, with alcohol.

I had no such anaesthetic. I was going through all kinds of hell from the moment Sawyer told me you were at the Zig Zag Cafe.

It has taken me some time to recover my equilibrium.

I am now calm and see no reason to fight. You have however earned a serious talking to, which I intend to deliver this evening.

Would you mind letting me know what time I can expect you home?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** Are you fucking kidding?

**Date:** August 26 2011 5.17pm

**To:** Christian Grey

You seriously think you're going to give me a 'talking to'?

Have you lost your mind? Do you think I'm 6 years old?

I have a more age appropriate suggestion. I propose a meeting this evening allowing us to CALMLY discuss YOUR issues, as ONE ADULT TO ANOTHER. Call it an enquiry if you prefer.

To Mr Christian Grey

You are cordially invited to attend the 'Cocktail-gate Enquiry'

Venue: home

Time: this evening.

Attendees: Mr C. Grey and Mrs A. Grey

I will forward an agenda in due course!

Anastasia Grey (21 YEARS OLD)

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Do I ever...

**Date:** August 26 2011 5.28

**To:** Anastasia Grey

... kid?

(And you would do well to watch your language. You are making my palm twitch.)

Re: your questions. You will be pleased to hear I have regained control of my mind after losing it for a while last night and I am fully aware of your age. Your youth and inexperience always show in your lack of judgement with regard to risk Mrs Grey.

Re: 'Cocktail-gate Enquiry'

I am prepared to accept your invitation on condition that I chair the meeting.

This is not negotiable.

I look forward you approving the agenda.

You haven't answered my question. When will you be home?

Christian Grey

CEO and Husband only barely restraining his twitchy palms, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** Agenda

**Date:** August 26 2011 5.42pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Mr Chairman,

I will be home at about 7pm I guess.

I will accept your condition - of chairing the meeting - as I know your control freakery is currently running away with itself! (Maybe chairing this enquiry will help quench your thirst for total domination!)

I have put together the following agenda. I trust you will find nothing to disapprove of. I need some answers. Please review it and prepare your responses.

**Agenda:**

1) Charges:

What are they charging Hyde with?

2) Patronising levels of secrecy:

What do you know of Hyde's beef with your family and why don't I know about it? I am NOT A BABY

3) Turns out my thirst for a cocktail ENSURED my SAFETY more effectively than your grounding me!:

Being away from the apartment in fact saved me and Kate from God knows what ... Are you so determined to wallow in your control freakish rage at my 'disobedience' that you cannot acknowledge this fact? Give me a break... I never promised to obey - you know this!

4) Decision making:

Do you think it's reasonable to expect an educated, professional, grown up woman, to make her own decisions re 'having a cocktail', in a public bar, with 2 security personnel present? I do. Do you think it will help me make good decisions by keeping the full facts from me? Or do you think me so incapable, weak and bone headed that you need to make all my decisions for me?

5) Obedience & Forgiveness:

I needed you this morning. You were stone cold. Will you get over yourself and prove your love isn't conditional on how obedient I am?

If you hadn't been such a shit, maybe I'd have let you ease that perpetually twitchy palm of yours this evening in the bedroom and you could have taken out some of that frustration on my behind. I know you would have enjoyed _that_.

The way I'm feeling now, you'll be lucky to catch a GLIMPSE of my behind this side of Christmas!

6) What did you mean:

When you said I was making you question your judgement? Marrying me? Loving me? In choosing 'more'? I need to know.

7) Language:

When I see evidence that you respect my intelligence enough to equip me with the facts pertaining to OUR LIFE, perhaps the urge to use expletives will be diminished. Until that time, I will remain fucking pissed with you!

Any additions to the agenda should be submitted, in writing, no later than 6.25pm

Anastasia

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Cocktail-gate Enquiry - amendments to agenda

**Date:** August 26 2011 5.57

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I will expect you no later than 7pm and I advise you not to test me on this. Sawyer will be waiting for you.

Re: Agenda. As ever, your thoughts are forthright and enlightening however I do have comments.

Let me give you some notes to consider:

Agenda:

_1) Charges: _

_What are they charging Hyde with? _**We can deal with this tonight**

_2) Patronising levels of secrecy: _

_What do you know of Hyde's beef with your family and why don't I know about it? I am NOT A BABY_

**I am aware you are not a baby Ana. I will explain tonight. Meantime, you've already acknowledged your behaviour was childish. Think about that Ana.**

_3) Turns out my thirst for a cocktail ENSURED my SAFETY more effectively than your grounding me!:_

_Being away from the apartment in fact saved me and Kate from God knows what ... Are you so determined to wallow in your control freakish rage at my 'disobedience' that you cannot acknowledge this fact? Give me a break... I never promised to obey - you know this!_

**I beg to differ!**

_4) Decision making: _

_Do you think it's reasonable to expect an educated, professional, mature woman, to make her own decisions re 'having a cocktail', in a public bar, with 2 security personel present? I do. Do you think it will help me make good decisions by keeping the facts from me? Or do you think me so incapable, weak and bone headed that you need to make all my decisions for me? _

**You are strong, capable and intelligent. The mind therefore boggles at lack of consideration, judgement and maturity last night and your failure to understand now why I deemed it necessary to fly home early. Incidentally, thank God I did!**

_5) Obedience & Forgiveness:_**See footnote below ***

_I needed you this morning when I was shocked and frightened. You were nasty. Will you get over yourself and show me you love me or is that conditional on how obedient I am? _

_If you hadn't been such a shit maybe I'd have let you ease that perpetually twitchy palm of yours this evening and we could have got over this by having a little fun together. The way I'm feeling now, if I don't get one hell of an apology from you, you'll be lucky to catch a GLIMPSE of my behind this side of Christmas!_

**Expecting obedience and TRUSTING that when you make a promise you intend to keep it, are not the same thing.**

**It was not disobedience that drove me home - YOU BROKE MY TRUST.**

_6) What did you mean: _

_when you said I was making you question your judgement? Marrying me? Loving me? In choosing 'more'?_

**I love you unconditionally. Being married to you IS my life - I can't bare to imagine our life before more. If these things were not true, I would not be feeling what I am feeling; the old Christian would simply be disciplining you without explanation.**

_7) Language:_

_When I see evidence that you respect my intelligence enough to equip me with the facts pertaining to OUR LIFE, perhaps the urge to use expletives will be diminished. Until that time, I with remain fucking pissed with you!_

**Your intelligence has never been in doubt, just your common sense, your judgement and your maturity in matters of your own wellbeing. Your flagrant use of bad language in your recent exchanges with me serves to illustrate the issues you are having with judgement and maturity. You are certainly risking the wellbeing of your behind.**

*** Footnote: **

**I suggest we strike 5) Obedience & Forgiveness**

**and replace with: 5) Misbehaviour and Your Behind**

I look forward to our meeting Anastasia.

Christian Grey

CEO, and Chairman of the "Cocktail-gate Enquiry" Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.


	2. Chapter 2: Fighting For Breath

I don't reply to his last email. I bite into my stale cookie. I read his 'notes' over and over and over again. My stomach churns and my appetite evaporates. I discard the remaining half cookie in the trash - I can't see that helping me now anyway! I look up at the clock... crap! It's 6.55 already! Quickly I gather my purse and briefcase and walk down to meet Sawyer in the car.

We travel in silence back to Escala. I read and re read Christians amendments to my agenda on my blackberry. '...you broke my trust'. This chokes me. I feel hot and a little shaky. I'm almost 22 years old - I can't stand that I can't go to a cocktail bar with my friend without my husband going nuts. Kate doesn't have to put up with this kind of shit! I know Christian is no regular guy; he needs to _know_ I'm safe. And I _did_ promise him... and I did break that promise.

I'm so damn tense it feels like all the blood has drained out of my face... or maybe that's because I've had nothing but two lattes, a cup of tea and half a chocolate chip cookie since I left this morning! _Shit, I can't tell him that!_

I drop my briefcase in the hall, pause trying to calm my breathing a little. I take a few deep breaths and head into the great room. Jeez, I feel light headed. '_Come on Steele, get a grip!'_ my subconscious scolds. I hear my heart throbbing in my ears. My breaths are coming a little too quickly again and my body courses with adrenalin. The instant I walk in the room, I am transported back to the last time I walked through these doors to find Jack Hyde and a gun lying at my feet. I look up, open mouthed, breathing too fast, to see my husband. My heart is racing.

Christian sits on one on the long couches, reading a newspaper. He sees me, lowers his paper and fixes me to the spot with his stare. I can't move; it's like I've hit a brick wall... my breath fast and stuttering, almost panting now! He tosses his paper aside, stands and stalks across the space between us. My vision is fuzzy round the edges, as if I am looking at him through a tunnel! He looks... dangerous. I want more than anything to run, not away from him, but into his arms. Wrap myself around him, cling to him and feel him hold me tight, close. I want the last 24 hours evaporate. But I'm rooted to the spot. I feel myself staring at him blankly as I try to catch my breath. I'm unsteady. Holy shit what's happening?

He's watching me with intensity; his eyes scorch me as he approaches. He's assessing my face. Can he see the panic in my eyes? Can he see what I see... fear... a blur... the memory of Jack Hyde at my feet. Then all at once I'm overwhelmed... I am spinning, panic rising, heart thumping, hyperventilating, no air. Each second seems to stretch out into minutes and what is happening around me all at once stretches out in my mind in slow motion like a wildlife movie of the flapping wings of a humming bird.

I notice Christian's expression change all of a sudden and he lunges towards me.

In that split second, I know I am lost. I remember nothing of why I was so angry with him, nothing of his coldness and burning fury with me. It's all a confused jumble as the blood draining from my head, as struggle for my legs to hold me.

He reaches forward, hooking me firmly around my waist as my legs finally buckle. For a moment it's as if a think blanket has been thrown over my head. With a hand on my behind and one on my back he has pulled me in close and tight, holding me upright as my legs hang useless beneath me.

I am aware my breathing is too shallow that I can't get oxygen and I look into his eyes struggling to focus, struggling to communicate. As he sees the panic in them, feels my unsteadiness, my short breaths close up, I can almost hear his mind ticking as he tries to figure out what is happening to me.

I want to tell him that I can't catch my breath, the air is too thick. Am I drowning? But I can't speak.

As he holds me tight, I try to drink in his smell, that familiar, longed for Christian smell; but each time I try to draw the air deep into my lungs, my breath stutters and catches in my in my throat in dry, convulsing, sobs.

My chest is tight so I try to pull away from him and take my own weight and breathe. My limp body becomes tight and tense. His grip only tightens in response. Without the oxygen I need too steady myself, my eyes fill. The more I try to breathe deep, the quicker and shallower those breaths become. The tension in my body turns to shaking.

Christian's calm is momentarily dented by my shaking. He firmly grasps my upper arms, pushing me away and bending down to my height so he can examine my face. I can feel the panic he sees in my eyes -wide and frantic. I can't stop this.

"Anastasia" he says, firmly. "Anastasia, look at me" He commands and he shakes me as if to wake me from a dream.

"Breathe Ana, it's OK baby, - it's just a panic attack, you need to breathe. Deep and slow, come on..."

I try to speak "I jus... I ... Oh Christi... I w...I wa... I'm so sor... you were jus... I can... I ca..."

"Don't talk Anastasia... just try and breathe with me". But I'm to panic stricken. He can see me struggle to do what he says.

His calm has returned and so has his authority. Suddenly his left arm sweeps down behind my knees, and scoops me into his arms, carrying me over to the couch. He sets me down, sitting on the foot stool in front of me, looking straight into my watery eyes. His large, protective hands hold my wrists, tight.

"I ca...I ca... can't st... stop Christi..." I stutter, still reaching for breath...

"Shhhhhh, quiet - don't talk baby - just breathe."

He breathes with me, in, then out, again, in and out. We repeat this several times, his eyes never leaving mine. In time my stuttering in-breaths begin to settle, the shaking subsides and the panic in my eyes ebbs away, as oxygen once again floods through my body. I calm. Jeez - what the fuck is wrong with me? A couple of hours ago I was so full of ire, ready unleash my heavy artillery at him! Now I'm a blubbering wreck!

Christian sits on the couch next to me and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping me in his strong arms as I regain my equilibrium. This physical closeness is what I have needed since I saw Jack unconscious and bleeding on the floor of our home His touch makes me feel safe and loved. Nothing can touch me while I'm in his arms. '_see' _my subconscious sneers,_ 'he does know what's good for you, he keeps you safe'_


	3. Chapter 3: Lectures

As I sit, wrapped in Christian, I reflect. What just happened to me? The emotion of the last 24 hours has hit me like a bus that's what.

I curl up in the cocoon of his arms as he gently rocks me. Before I realize it, 20 minutes have past.

"Ana, can you talk now?" My eyes, no longer watery, meet his

"Yes"

"You feel better?"

"Yes - What the fuck was that?"

"It was a panic attack Ana. Shock I expect, just delayed shock. I guess what happened last night must have scared you more than you realised Baby. You're OK now."

"I guess so. And you too Christian. Your coldness scared me. I wished so much you were here last night... I just needed you to hold me..."

"I know Ana." He pauses for a moment, looking deep into my face with concern. "Can you stand?"

"Yes, sure- I ..."

But I stand too quickly. A head rush hits me and I stumble forward slightly. Christian catches me with his rock steady arm around my waist and I quickly regain my balance. "Steady baby." He surveys me, thinking. After a moment or two I notice his eyes narrow and his jaw tighten...

"Did you eat today?" he asks in a low, humourless tone, and I'm sure he knows the answer. I feel my cheeks redden and I glance down to my feet.

"I was preoccupied Christian..." There is an acerbic edge to my voice that my body language hasn't the courage to echo, "...I lost my appetite" I add a little too defensively.

It is Christian's turn to take a deep, steadying breath.

"Well then Anastasia, I was wrong. What just happened was down to delayed shock _and_ your total stupidity..." he spits furiously. "Are you capable of behaving responsibly Anastasia?"

He grips my arm above my elbow and leads me too quickly to the breakfast bar where two place settings are already laid. "Sit" he orders as he directs me to my usual seat, emphasising his instruction with a firm swat to my behind with his free hand.

"I gave Gail the night off. She was pretty shaken up... and I wanted to be alone with my wife."

I sit, unable to lift my eyes. He brings his hand up to my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. He runs his thumb back and forth along my jaw, fixing me with his eyes.

"Not eating again Anastasia. That's naughty."

"Naughty?! I've told you, I'm not 6 years old Christia..." but he cuts me off before I can finish.

"Gail told me you didn't eat anything last night until after the police left. That was pretty _childish_ too. Number 2 on the agenda I think... your "not being a baby". Not a great start Ana."

I notice a whisper of a self satisfied smile at the corner of his mouth. He places a chaste kiss on my lips, and abruptly drops his hand, turns towards the oven from which he pulls out a large tray of hot food which he sets on the counter. "She left us some Lasagne."

He's so smug! I feel my courage and my anger returning as I reel from his patronising tone. He is not going to get away with talking to me like that! I can't help myself as I pout.

He dexterously carves out a generous slab of lasagne and sets it on a plate for me. I stare down at it. You've got to be kidding! He is not getting away with treating me like a naughty little girl! Jeez - I feel rebellious again! I know that this is not a battle worth fighting or one I have a possible hope of winning but I can't help myself. I need flex my muscles, in face of my megalomaniac husband!

I know he can't tolerate my skipping a meal, I know this will get his attention... Having found my breath, I have also found my feet, my voice and my nerve and I cannot stop myself from making a stand, launching my, futile little protest.

With a casual confidence that does not betray my certainty of inevitable defeat, I declare...

"Christian, I can't eat all that. I can't manage Lasagne. I'll just get some salad or some toast or something, and I need a drink..." and before I finish my sentence I get up from my seat and move towards the fridge in search of wine.

I know it's pointless and a little stupid but I need to remind him that I'm not a child who will obey him without question. I'm pushing him and it feels liberating!

I get closer to the fridge than I expect to!

"Sit Down." Christian growls as I reach out for the door.

I feel, rather than hear the threat in those two words. I stop still for a moment and fix him with my eyes. We are locked in a stare for what seems like minutes. Eventually, I relent and without breaking the stare, I slowly back up, and sit in my seat without a word or a sigh. He's infuriated! _That_ got his attention! I'm abandoning my petulant stand but not sorry I made it. My pout dissolves and I try to suppress my smile. I look at Christian, not the plate in font in front of me. My subconscious trills 'O.K. I'll play nice, but remember Mr Grey, I've _decided_ to play nice. This is not obedience'.

"Testing the boundaries again Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks, eyebrows raised. I ignore his question.

"Could you please pass the salad" I say, my eyes still not leaving his. I take the salad, adding it to my plate, pick up my fork and take a small mouthful of Lasagne.

"So, are you still mad at me Mr Grey?"

"Yes, I am still furious with you for breaking your promise to me yesterday, and not eating all day followed by that little outburst isn't helping your cause any"

He pours us both a glass of white wine.

I take a long sip and hesitate a beat before I ask my next question.

"Palm twitchingly mad?"

This morning I had thought, this is how it'd pan out. I'd let him spank me, hope that putting me across his knee would deliver him some relief from his anger and make us both hot, then we'd lose ourselves in each other. That had been my plan, but now, well he can whistle if he thinks I'll let him do that!

"That's not an easy question to answer Ana. Let's talk about it when you've eaten your dinner" he says pointedly.

His answer makes me feel uneasy. I was sure he'd say yes; hoped he would so I could deny him his pleasure and make _him_ squirm!

Then I remember this morning when he said he wanted to punish me... 'Really beat the shit out of' me. Since he promised to take punishments off the menu, when Christian spanks me, or even threatens to spank me, it's HOT! - But I don't want him to beat me with a belt again, or a cane!

For a moment I consider this thought and wonder if that is what he wants to do. No. I know him better than that. It takes less no time for me to realise he's past that and he could never punish me like that.

"Honestly Christian, I just want to put this behind us and I want you to stop being mad at me!"

He observes me coolly before responding.

"We are going to have a serious talk Mrs Grey. This isn't a game and I won't be spanking you for rolling your eyes or breaking my list of stupid rules!"

"So you don't want to spank me?" I ask.

"I didn't say that. I promised no more punishments. Promises are sacred between people who love each other." He takes another sip and fixes me with implacable eyes. "You may have broken your promise to me but I am not going to go back on my promise without you understanding why"

The threat of punishment scares me.

"You can't spank you if I don't give you permission" I mutter petulantly

"We'll see" he says without missing a beat. After taking a sip of wine he leans forward, lifts my chin, his face now just inches from mine.

"Don't doubt you are going to end up across my knee. I'm going to give you the spanking of your life, and it will have nothing to do with my sexual gratification. But, I don't want you to resent me for it. Now eat your dinner."

So he thinks he's going to punish me? For changing my mind? If he hadn't been so over the top about this whole thing, so cold with me, maybe I'd have let him spank me, make love to me and we could have put all this behind us... but jeez! I'm not taking his punishment for this! No Way! I won't accept that I _deserve_ it!

When I've eaten about half the food on my plate, I feel fit to burst and I put my fork down. Christian holds my gaze for a moment. I need another drink. I pick up my empty glass and hold it expectantly towards him. He picks up the bottle refills my glass.

Christian cocks his head and smiles at me. "Full Mrs Grey?" he says, raising an eyebrow and still smiling.

"Full enough Mr Grey," I say.

"Good"

He grabs the bottle and his glass in one hand and in the other he grasps my hand and pulls me off my stool. "Bring your glass". I scoop up my glass as he pulls me behind him across the great room to the dining table, setting his wine on the table in front of us. He takes his place at the head of the table and directs me to the chair to his left. It is set out like a board table! There are two leather binders on the table, one set in each place. His Mont Blanc fountain pen is set next to his binder. A cup of pens and pencils, a carafe of water and 2 crystal tumblers and now, a half bottle of wine between us.

"Ana, time for our talk baby"

"You mean our meeting. I'm still pissed with you Christian"

"I can see that"

He says and he smiles. I sit and open up the leather binder in front of me. Inside is my agenda, complete with his comments, and several pieces of blank paper with the header 'G.E.H' emblazoned in smart, grey lettering across the top.

"I understand you have some 'issues'; I think perhaps we should deal with those." He opens up his binder, takes his pen and unscrews the cap.

"You bet I have issues Christian." My uncertainty has vanished, and anger charges through my veins, giving me back my courage. "You can be as mad as you damn well want, but all _I_ did was change my mind about where we were having a drink! I had no idea you were not being over zealous in insisting we stay home Christian because you never tell me anything! Don't you trust me!?"

"Lets not get ahead of ourselves Mrs. Grey." He is irritating me now with his calm tone. He takes his pen and notes the time in the top right hand corner of the notepaper in his binder. 8.15pm. I imagine this is his habit in board meetings.

"Lets start with Item 1. Charges. Well this one is easy Ana."

He consults a handwritten list in his binder and reads from it. "Jack Hyde had been charged with breaking and entering with intent, criminal damage, possession of an unlicensed firearm, possession of illegal drugs and assault and battery with intent. They expect to add to his charges in due course. It is likely he will also be charged with attempted abduction, Intent to falsely imprison, and intent to extort."

Hearing the charges like that sends a chill through me. Abduction! He pauses and I know he's gauging my reaction. My face is drained of emption. I sit stock still, staring at the glass of wine in front of me.

"They can't get him on intent to commit rape even thought it seems that was his intention, it's hard to prove."

_What!? He wanted to rape me? How can they know that?_ He stops and I look at him, unwelcome tears pricking the back of my eyes. Christians white knuckles betray the effort it is taking for him to keep a grip on his anger; his eyes studiously focused on his folder where the charges are listed. He takes a deep breath recovering himself before he continues. _Oh Christian, I'm OK, he didn't even get close to hurting me, He failed!_

He clears his throat a little, "They are also looking into charging him with arson and attempted murder for the incident with Charlie Tango and the fire at Grey House, but that may not be for some considerable time. Does that cover the first item on the agenda Mrs Grey"

"Kidnapping?" I say, my eyes are watery but I manage to reign in my tears.

He looks right into my eyes

"Yes Anastasia. You saw the duct tape?" I nod my response, "They found his van in the car lot. It had a mattress, prescription sedatives and restraints in the back and a note addressed to me. It seems his plan was to drug you, abduct you and extort money from me. He was going to rape you Ana, in order to hurt me." He closes his eyes and I know he is trying to control his rage again in response to these thoughts. His pain is transparent.

"It's OK Christian, **I wasn't here**! I was safe at the bar with Sawyer and Prescott. He was in the wrong place! He's failed!" I reach over and put my hand on his clenched hand.

"That was down to his arrogance and failure to be diligent, not down to you Ana." He spits these words at me like an accusation, then composes himself before continuing. I quickly withdraw my hand.

"Does that cover item 1. to your satisfaction Mrs. Grey?"

"What about the note? What did it say?"

"That's not important now Ana"

"But..."

"Not now Anastasia" he says firmly, cutting me off and raising a finger at me He draws a line under item 1 on his copy of the agenda.

"Let's move on to item 2. Patronising levels of secrecy:" He says, reading it from is agenda with a questioning tone to his voice. A tone which in itself sounds patronising!

"Ha! Well you've just demonstrated that beautifully Mr Grey!"

He raises an eyebrow in my direction.

"You never tell me anything Christian. I learned more about what was going on from Kate than you've told me the whole time!"

I feel my anger rising when I think how embarrassed I felt when Kate told me about the increased security for the whole family that I know nothing about!

"I only agreed to go to the damn bar to stop Kate whining. I meant to stay for one drink, then go home, call you. But when she told all the stuff everyone but me knew, I got so mad with you I decided to stay... I _wanted_ to piss you off!"

He sits back in his chair and pauses for a few moments before speaking.

"I will concede that perhaps I should have been more... open with you... about the wider threat Hyde and increased security. It all happened very recently Anastasia"

He pauses. "And I didn't want to scare the shit out of you before I went away."

I raise my eyebrows at him. This is exactly what I'm talking about! OVERPROTECTIVE!

"for Gods sake Christian, Elliot doesn't go berserk when Kate goes out! It's not NORMAL!"

"Anastasia, you need to get with the programme. I am not Elliot, I am Christian Grey! Who I am, means you can't always behave as other girls your age do. You are prominent and wealthy and that makes you a target. It's a fact- get used to it. I held back because I didn't want you to feel trapped by your new position. I was protecting you from the reality of our lives but that was clearly a mistake. "

I am taken aback; He didn't think I was too immature to handle the threat from Jack Hyde, he thought the fact we need protection would make me resent _who we are_, resent him! It wasn't being stalked by a lunatic he thought would scare me, it was the reality of being Mrs Christian Grey!

"Is that an apology Christian?"

"It's the closest you're going to get."

"This morning you made me feel like ..." I hesitate, searching for the right words

"...feel what Ana? How did I make you feel?"

"like... like I was" I hesitate, squirming

"...a naughty little girl Anastasia?" he says, finishing my sentence for me.

He raises his eyebrows and continues and I squirm in my chair.

"Well that's how you behaved last night. I think you know that and that's why you felt contrite this morning. Now you're mad because you don't like feeling that way"

"No, I'm mad NOW because you are _still_ treating me like that!"

"You wouldn't feel so patronised if you didn't know deep down that you behave like a spoiled little girl! When you behave like a petulant child and it is hard not to treat you like one."

I know It was dumb and childish to be led astray so easily by Kate, I hardly put up a fight, and I'd promised Christian I'd stay home. I can't help slumping back in my chair, folding my arms in front of me and pouting - just like the petulant little girl I'm protesting that I am not.

"Lets move on Anastasia." He says with a smile of amusement creeping in at the corner of his mouth. "Items 3) and 4), So you think you were safer at bar than at home do you?"

I don't answer. I'm still sulking.

"And rather than apologise for breaking you promise to me and defying your security detail, you're going to imply that I have impaired your ability to make decisions by shielding you?"

"Obviously Christian! I think we've just established you keep me in the dark, and the fact is, I wasn't there when Hyde came for me!" I shudder when I think of what might have happened if I had been home.

"So - was your defiance down to your genius foresight Ana?"

"No. That's not what I mean - I never _meant_ to stay out! Kate persuaded me and I didn't know all the facts, it didn't seem like a big deal. I didn't know Hyde was seriously on a mission for me!"

I do feel a twinge of guilt when I think how little persuasion it took on Kate's part to get me to go to that bar. Then as if Christian can read my thoughts he interrupts my squirming.

"It didn't take much from Kate to make you cave from what I hear from Sawyer"

"Okay, okay maybe I could have been firmer ..," I snap defensively, before mumbling "jeez it was just supposed to be one drink!" Then I find my voice again "... and it turned out rather well don't you think"

"Listen to yourself Anastasia! You are a security nightmare! If our trusted staff insist you go home, home is where you go! You behaved like a spoiled brat who won't leave the party at bed time! If I hadn't been thousands of miles away I'd have come and dragged you both home myself. You are infuriating!"

I can see I screwed up but I'm not just going to take a 'talking to' like he's my father. Not without giving him a bit back!

"I get it. I'm sorry. I could have stood up to Kate, but really Christian, you are TOTALLY overzealous about security and my safety! You can't keep me safe by keeping me grounded!"

"You say that to me after last night Anastasia?" His cool momentarily punctured by fury.

"Fact is if I'd done what I was told, Kate and I would have been right in the firing line!"

Wow, yelling at him feels great! I stand as if to leave, then stop to deliver a parting shot. "...And you're so uptight about my security I can't tell what's a real threat and what's in your fucked up imagination half the time!

"SIT. DOWN." he says growls. I pause for a few, silent moments. Am I going to mess with him? Glancing over at him, jaw tight, fists clenched but otherwise perfectly still, I decide not now. I pause a moment, then slowly and as gracefully as I can manage I retake my seat - I feel quietly pleased with myself all the same.

Christian takes a deep steadying breath before he speaks. He is obviously still working to contain his temper.

"Anastasia Grey... here is your lecture... I am going to say this once so you'd better be listening.

We are not like other people. We are rich. We are in the newspapers and on the gossip pages all the time.

Total strangers know who we are, they know what we're worth. This is not part of my 'fucked up imagination' - It is a fact.

A few crazy, sad ass individuals get fixated with people like us. All prominent or wealthy people have to take security seriously - from time to time there will be threats. Sometimes the threats are serious. Do I need to show you the statistics for kidnap of the wealthy in the USA Anastasia?"

I shake my head. I know he has all the statistics at his fingertips!

"That is why we have security. _We need security to live our lives_. Without it you would soon see how different we are in the minds of some people out there.

You **need to learn to deal with it like an adult**. You rebel against it like a child rebels against a parent who is trying to protect them... You whine about not being 6 years old Anastasia, but you behave like you are... like if I don't hold you hand on the sidewalk you might just run out in front of a truck!"

I look down at my hands in my lap. He puts his finger under my chin and raises my head so I am forced to look at him while he continues.

"We enjoy many advantages, security is a small price we can't avoid paying."

I swat his hand away from my chin and I try to butt in...

"But it just feels sometimes..." but he stops me, raising his index finger.

"Our security team are not there to stop us having fun, but to ensure we can enjoy our lives without threat or fear. Security is not negotiable.

Your staggering lack of judgement in these matters scares the shit out me. You need to grow up, get some self discipline and accept reality. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

I feel about an inch tall and stare into my lap. Is he waiting for me to say something? I sneak a peak at him and his grey eyes are boring straight into me. Before I can look away he grasps my chin again and holds my face pinning me down with a stare that means business, Then he speaks, firmly and a little too quietly for comfort

"DO. I. MAKE. MYSELF. CLEAR. ANASTASIA?"


	4. Chapter 4: Promises

"OK Christian, I get it. Keep your hair on!"

His eyes narrow and his jaw tightens in response to my words

He has made himself very clear. I guess I've always dismissed Christian's obsession with my safety as a symptom of being 50 shades fucked up! But it's hard to get used to being rich, recognised, to being Mrs Christian Grey!

"I want to move on to Item 5 now Anastasia" Oh shit, is this when he is going to try and punish me? Item 5 on _MY_ agenda was the part of this meeting where I had hoped to firmly remind him that I DID NOT promise to obey him. I intended to get him to admit that he forgives me so we can finally move on. But of course I got the comments he sent me and I know he wants to talk about '_misbehaviour and my behind!_' I can't pretend I'm not a tiny bit apprehensive.

"I don't like your suggestion for item 5. Christian. We need to discuss obedience and forgiveness because didn't agree to obey you and you need to get over it now and forgive me. I don't think your suggestion for a discussion topic is necessary or appropriate!"

"We'll see." He is doing nothing to soothe my nerves!

"I need to ask you a question Mrs. Grey." Christian's expression gives nothing away, his voice measured and calm, "Did I make it clear to you that I wanted you and Kate to come straight home? Did I make it clear that this was really important to me?"

Yes of course he did. He is going to make this as painful as possible isn't he? I can feel myself blushing with embarrassment, or shame. I can't just sit here and let him guilt trip me! "The truth is Christian, it was very easy for me to dismiss your insistence on us staying home as a totally out of proportion because you do it all the time!"

As I speak, Christian sits back in his chair - giving me the floor and, observing me carefully. He lets me ramble on, filling the silence. My tone is increasingly agitated as my anger, and my confidence in my argument builds.

"I thought you were being over protective. You have a reputation in that regard you know! And it made me steaming mad that Kate knew so much more than me! _KATE Christian_!? I am your fucking wife! I felt humiliated."

He remains silent, reading every nuance in my voice. I can see nothing in his face to indicate what he is thinking. I am aware that my voice is getting higher and higher and I'm beginning to sound a little hysterical. I can't help the nagging thought in the back of my mind that he is letting me go on and on, giving me just enough rope to hang myself!

"...So yeah, I was pissed with you and I decided to stay a little longer than I meant to, to have a few cocktails! We were in a busy bar with two protection officers at the next table! I knew I was perfectly safe. Of course I knew you'd be _mad_, but you are always mad at me and by then I was pretty mad myself. I thought I'd be able to set you straight when you got back."

I stop and Christian is silent for a long moment. Finally he breaks the silence,

"Finished Ana?" He looks at me for an answer but I remain tight lipped. "Then it's time for lecture number two. You had better not interrupt." He looks directly into my eyes, never more serious " Your being at the bar put you and a number of other people at risk."

"But Christian, Hyde went to Escal..." He shoots me a look that could whither trees. "DO NOT interrupt again Anastasia"

He pauses and regains calm. "Why Hyde didn't follow you from work and relied on his assumption that you'd be home we don't know. It seems uncharacteristically careless. Taylor has a theory that perhaps he _did_ follow you and knowing you were at the bar with your security and I was in New York with Taylor, he expected the apartment to be vulnerable and he planned to lie in wait for you. If this is what happened then you made it much, much easier for him."

I gasp... shit, _did_ I make it easier for him?

"Maybe not, maybe he _WAS_ incompetent about his surveillance. In any case, it is always harder to provide protection in a busy public place. In a bar he has access to you, at home he does not. He could have paid someone to put something in your drink, set off a fire alarm, he could have got to you in the ladies room, you made any number of options available to him. The fact that he didn't do this is neither here nor there. I will spell this out for you. You left Ryan two men down at Escala. If you had done what you were told, as soon as Ryan saw Hyde on the CCTV you'd have been safe in the panic room, and Hyde would have been apprehended with no difficulty at all. He would not have got close to you and our team could have got to him before he crossed the threshold. I doubt you'd have known much about it. You are labouring under a misapprehension you think you were safer in the bar and it is time you stopped deluding yourself."

I feel stupid, and for the first time, really ashamed. What if Ryan had been shot? I don't what to say... I promised him I'd go home. Then Kate pouted and said please and I caved. What a dork!

"Ana, what I'm asking is, did you just change your mind or did you break a promise?"

"It wasn't like that Christian, at the time it was no big deal..."

"YES Anastasia it was a big deal" he says cutting me off "Why did you agree you'd stay home in the first place if you had no intention of doing so? Why do you think I asked for that?"

"It wasn't like that, I mean in that moment, when Kate was asking if we could go to a bar... It didn't _feel_ like a big deal. It was just supposed to be a drink "

"Please Anastasia, just answer my question..."

"Okay, okay - I guess I broke my promise. I agreed to go home when you asked me because you were worried, and because you were going to be a long way away, because of Jack, and because you are _you_. I know you worry too much and I wanted you not to because I love you. I know knowing where I am, and feeling in control makes you a lot happier, of course I do. I don't know why I broke my promise. I didn't plan to. It was just a moment. I can see it was a mistake now... I'm sorry... I mean... I didn't think..." But I can't finish my sentence, I'm reaching for an explanation but it sounds really lame to me now.

"If I'd just forbidden you to go out you'd have just got mad and felt patronised so I didn't order you or forbid you. I got your consent, I asked to promise because although it drives me nuts, I know you are not obedient! "

"No I'm not obedient."

"So Item 5 on the Agenda, strike obedience!"

He takes his pen and strikes out the work Obedience under point 5. of the printed agenda in front of him. He looks at me expectantly and I pick up a pencil and do the same on my copy."

"I took your word Ana because I trust what you say to me. It seems you just said it to placate me because you think I'm crazy! How can I trust what you say is what you mean?"

I am silent. Empty promises. I'm an idiot.

"Ana, you know me better than anyone. When you promised me I thought you understood why I needed to know you were safe. Can you even begin to imagine how terrified I was of Jack Hyde getting near you while I was on the other side of the country. YOU KNOW I NEED CONTROL IN MY LIFE TO FUNCTION. You pushed me way beyond my limit last night"

I pick up my glass and take some comfort in a large sip of wine. I think I'm going to need a bit of Dutch courage for whatever is coming!

"I'm sorry Christian, Okay, I'm sorry."

"I've never been happier than the past few months. I didn't know how free I could feel. I thought I'd always need total control, but don't. I have made massive compromises to be with you and I do not regret that; you do know I still need **_some_** control though Ana don't you? I can never be like Kate, or Elliot. I am not a regular guy and we are not a regular couple. We are targets for lunatics and on top of that I am fifty shades Anastasia. I need to know you are safe... And of course I forgive you because I love you unconditionally. You are my only love."

He pauses. For a moment I think he is going to cry. I know he's not finished, he is just calming himself. I can't think of anything to say. I have let him so badly. He smiles a little and reaches out and lifts my chin so our eyes meet. Softly he continues, with a hint of humour in his voice

"We've struck out obedience, can I strike out forgiveness?" and he leans forward to place three soft kisses first on my forehead, then the tip of my nose and at last, my lips. I nod and look up at him through my eyelases.

"Good, - I think we've more or less covered misbehaviour too. Now I want to move on to your behind!" He smiles before releasing my chin and I know where this is going. My bottom tingles at the mention of my behind. God, what if he wants to use that belt again, or worse! What will I do? When I look up again at my husband, perfectly handsome, his expression is serious again. I guess this is it.

"I promised not to punish you anymore and I've kept my promise. This morning I wanted to punish you more than I've ever wanted to punish anyone, because I care about you more than I have ever cared. By the way -That is what I meant by doubting my own judgement. - item 6. on the agenda I think. I have been doubting the wisdom of my promise not to punish you"

"Oh ..."

"Oh..." He repeats, mimicking my tone exactly "If Kate whining for a drink in a bar is all it takes for you to risk your safety, to put our staff in when I'm on the other side of the country what hope is there that I can ever trust your word? I can't deal with feeling that helpless."

"I don't know what to say"

"I want to think about promises and what they mean."

"I'm sorry Christian, I didn't mean to make you helpless... I hadn't seen it like that at all, I'm sorry"

"I need to feel confident you will do what you say Ana otherwise I'm going to wind up in an institution. If I can't trust you, it makes me want to keep you on a tighter leash. Can you see that?

" So...?" I coax, cautiously, draining my glass of wine.

"Things have to change. Right now I might spank you when you roll your eyes at me, but you know that isn't a punishment, it a game we play. It's hot and I know you like it."

I feel my cheeks turn scarlet "yes I like it Christian, I wouldn't let you so it if I didn't. But the first time you did it, the day of graduation..."

"that was because you broke a stupid, meaningless rule Ana. It gave me control but it wasn't important. And most importantly, you didn't know I loved you. If you break a promise to me Ana, I'm going to punish you because I love you too much to allow you to do that."

"But Christian , I'm hate punishment, I'm afraid of it"

"Well that's kinda the point baby! Besides, it entirely different now. Before, you thought I would never love you, now you know I love you. You trust me. "

I do, I do trust him. I know he won't hurt me better than he knows himself, but punishment?

"But..."

"Anastasia, I'll spank you like I did the first time. I'll spank you over my knee and I won't cause you injury or lasting pain. I never want to do that to you. It'll be different from when you roll your eyes, or when we're playing. It'll be different in your head. You won't like it the way you do when we play, and that is why it'll help you think twice before you do something so stupid in future. I need a bit of control Anastasia, and you are so damn quick to misbehave, and it seems nothing I say has much effect. I need some sort of leverage or I'll go out of my mind. I promise you never have to fear me hurting you more than the discomfort of a good old fashioned spanking with my hand... or maybe with your hairbrush!"

"My hairbrush?"

"You'd better believe it! If you ever do anything like this again, I'll spank you with your hairbrush... but never more than that. You don't need more than that baby... you are sensitive like a little girl, not like a sub!"

"I'm not sure I understand why you need to do this Christian, I've said I'm sorry. You know I am."

"OK Ana, imagine you had a child. That child isn't familiar with the dangers all around them. They might run out in the road, or a teenager might give themselves alcohol poisoning or walk home alone at night. A parent only wants to protect them. You'd soon lose your mind if you couldn't discipline your child when they do something stupid, if your hands were tied."

"I am not a child though; I _am_ familiar with the risks"

"No your not, we've just established that. You have been hopelessly naïve and I love that in you baby - your innocence; - But, you are only too willing to ignore the risks that you are aware of should it suit you! It's my job to protect you Ana - I'm only going to punish you like a child if you behave like one. It's gonna help me feel less out of control and it's gonna help you think twice before behaving irresponsibly. And I'm only going to do it for the really important things"

I look down at my hands again. I'm afraid because knowing Christian as I do,I think he might be making sense to me.

"You broke my trust last night and I did not expect that. When you gave me your word, I trusted it completely. I need to spank you, for punishment not pleasure, if you break promises to me or do purposely something stupid that puts you, or anyone else at risk. This will have nothing to do with the playroom, nothing to do with canes or belts or handcuffs; nothing to do with a list of rules. If I ask for your promise I want to know you mean to keep that promise. I think the fact you hate punishment will make a spanking a very effective deterrent in future, and it stops me feeling helpless in the face of your inability to obey me!"

With that he stands. I stay sitting, focusing completely on my fingers kitting together in my lap.

"Ana, look at me"

I can't. I just can't stand it. I feel ashamed of myself.

"Anastasia..."

I look up at him and I feel the unwelcome prick of tears in the back of my eyes.

"Come here Anastasia."

I stand, looking up at him. I have no words.

"I Love you Anastasia Grey." He says quietly, then without missing a beat he grasps my hand and pulls me forcefully behind him over to the large, upholstered footstool that sits in front of the couch. He sits in the middle of the stool and with one fluid movement tugs hard on my arm, so I fall neatly across his lap. He flips up my skirt and puts his fingers down the back of my panties, tugging them down to my knees.

"NO! Christian, not here! What about Taylor! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'm giving you a well deserved spanking Mrs Grey"

He is holding me firmly with his left had around the waist, pinning me in place with his forearm which rests along my back. He fractionally raises his right knee, throwing me off balance and having the effect of raising my vulnerable behind higher into the air, presumably to give him easier aim!

He wastes no time in delivering the first stinging blow to my exposed bottom. No caressing, no preamble, he just raises his right hand and lands it hard onto my behind, causing me a sharp intake of breath. Without more than a seconds delay, the second blow comes hammering down, then a third causing me to cry out with my breath almost without sound!

"Owwwh" and as I reach back instinctively with my right hand, Christian grabs it with his left and firmly pins it at the small of my back. I can't help wriggling and kicking my legs in response to this assault, but his grip is strong and I am pinned firmly across his knee.

"Do not... _smack_... make... _smack_... empty... _smack_... promises..._ smack_ ... to me... _smack... _Again!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" ..._ smack_

"YES! Fuck Christian, it hurts"

"I should think so!" he replies delivering another loud smack "And you are in no position to swear at me" He continues, swatting me twice, hard, on the sensitive area, where each of my thighs meet my behind.

He has never spanked me like this before. Well actually I guess he did, first time he spanked me - in the apartment after my graduation, but it has never felt like this before. This is giving him no pleasure. There is nothing erotic about it. He is delivering this spanking as if his life depended on it!

"OWWW! I'm sorry,"

"Do not... _smack_ ... disobey... _smack ..._ our security team... _smack_ ... If they tell you to jump... _smack ..._ YOU JUMP!... _smack ... smack ... smack_

"I will Christian, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I bleat, through tears that are springing. I deserve this and Christian deserves better from me. I can give him this. I broke his confidence in me and I owe him this chance to feel that he does have some control in our relationship.

"There had better not be a next time Anastasia, ... _smack_... but if there is, ... _smack_... I will tan your behind with your hairbrush and you won't sit down for a week!" and with that he delivers a final, hard volley ... _smack ... smack ... smack ... smack ... smack ... smack ...smack ...smack. _

Thank God he's stopped, that really hurt and my tender behind feels sore! I am limp across his knee and my eyes clouded with tears, from the discomfort in part but also the shame. I behaved so badly. Now it's over I feel relief. I know Christian feels better, in control of the situation, and more in control of my safety. I feel sorry for myself, but I don't feel so guilty anymore. I feel loved.

Christian lets me up and helps me pull up my panties and straighten out my skirt. He pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head. His chest feels warm and comforting. His arms safe and protective. This is where I wanted to be since last night, and I'm so glad he is no longer angry with me. The stress I have felt since I woke up has finally gone. I shudder and sniff a little into his chest. He stands, holding me in his arms, and walks towards our bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and I look up at him expectantly. I long for him to make love to me now. To show me it's OK.

"Shhhh baby. I want you to rest now. You're exhausted and I want you to think about what just happened and everything we've discussed. I love you Anastasia Grey. I can't ever go through this again little one. I love you too much to have you put yourself in danger."

"I know Christian, I'm so sorry I went out"

"shhhh baby I know you are." He crawls onto the bed next to me and holds me until I fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5: Time Flies

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Cheap at half the price

**Date:** August 28 2011 9.01am

**To:** Christian Grey

Thank you for the weekend. I'm glad we couldn't ski - my rear end has only just recovered from Friday. The thought of falling over on it makes my eyes water!

I love Aspen. It was worth every penny of $24,000 I bid for it (and the spanking you gave me for bidding!)

I love you xxx

Ana ;)

P.S. Next time I want to go in winter and ski... please?

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Money well spent

**Date:** August 28 2011 9.05am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

It was my absolute pleasure, (both spanking you for bidding and whisking you away).

Yes we can go back to Aspen in the season.

As for you skiing, I promise to line up a course of counselling with Flynn. If he can coach me through my natural instinct to lock you in the house, wrap you in cotton wool, and burn all the skis, I promise to think about hiring you the best goddamn ski instructor in North America so I can make sure you don't break your neck - or damage that beautiful bottom!

I love you too baby

Christian Grey

Overprotective Husband and CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Jack Hyde

**Date:** September 1st 2011 10.36am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Ana,

I've just spoken to the police. They are charging Jack Hyde formally today. They have added Arson to the charge sheet for the fire at Grey house. He did not make bail.

I wanted you to know and I wanted to remind you how much I love you

X

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Good News

**Date:** September 1st 2011 10.45am

**To:** Christian Grey

Thank you for letting me know.

I can't wait to see you tonight.

I know you love me. I love you too

A x

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **My Behind...

**Date: **September 2nd 2011 4.46pm

**To:** Christian Grey

... is a little tender so if your palm twitches at all today you will have to stow it for another time!

Ana

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Tenderness

**Date:** September 2nd 2011 4.48pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Well Mrs Grey, it is certainly twitching plenty now so you'd better tell me why your behind is suddenly so tender and who is responsible.

If you think you are tender now, you might be in for a shock when I get you home.

Christian Grey

CEO with EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS to your behind, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Kiss My Ass!

**Date: **September 2nd 2011 4.50pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I told you to stow your twitchy palm! I just got my shot from Dr. Greene so I'll be home a little early. She gave it to me in my rear end this time and I didn't like it... I think she wanted to punish me for moving my appointment twice last week! Maybe you can kiss it better?

see ya soon

Love Ana x ;)

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Exclusivity

**Date:** September 2nd 2011 4.59 pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I am delighted to hear your behind has not been abused by anyone else and you're your tenderness is the result of medical intervention. As it seems you have already been reprimanded for messing with your Doctor's schedule, I will make it my responsibility to soothe it this evening.

Christian Grey

CEO, & Ass Kisser, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Dinner

**Date:** September 6th 2011 9.16am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I will be interviewing for a replacement for Prescott this afternoon with Taylor. I won't be home until 7pm. Shall we go out for dinner?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Really?

**Date: **September 6th 2011 9.21am

**To:** Christian Grey

Do we really need to replace Sawyer now Jack is behind bars and Leila is on her way back to the East Coast?

Love Ana x

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Of Course

**Date:** September 6th 2011 9.24am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Yes Ana we do.

As my wife seems to think it's ok to invite gun toting lunatics and ex subs into her office for coffee, I need to ensure someone in on hand to tell tales on her!

You didn't answer my question about dinner. Do you want Italian? Or Seafood maybe?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Shrimp & unreasonable force

**Date: **September 6th 2011 9.33am

**To:** Christian Grey

We haven't had seafood for a long time, that sounds good.

It was perfectly safe and I wanted to know what she had to say!

And don't kid yourself - not even Taylor could have stopped me seeing Leila yesterday... Nobody could, (save perhaps my lunatic husband, but you'd have had to carry me kicking and screaming out of the building and locked me in the car!)

A x

** From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Don't tempt me

**Date:** September 6th 2011 9.38am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I'll be only too willing to throw you over my shoulder in front of all your colleagues should you misbehave at work. For now I'll just have to pay someone else to do that for me when I'm not there

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

_

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Neanderthal

**Date: **September 6th 2011 9.42am

**To:** Christian Grey

Yes I have no doubt you'd like that.

Please don't give the job to some bone headed gorilla!

I'm hoping there aren't any more gun toting ex subs waiting in the lobby to meet me!

A x

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Starry Nights

**Date: **September 8th 2011 9.08am

**To:** Christian Grey

Dear Sir,

That went right to the top of the list!

But my thighs ache; so does everything else for that matter...

I am blushing at the memory! 'Oh my' - Mr Grey!

Ana x

** From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: '**Oh my's', Your Thighs & Silk Ties

**Date:** September 8th 2011 9.16am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Always a pleasure Ana, and I sincerely mean that. I wish I could see you blush. I don't think I can wear that tie anymore!

As soon as Walsh has finished his due diligence, Irene Dexter will be assigned to Sawyer's team. She should start Monday all being well.

I know you'd rather not have her but she is a professional and I think you'll like her if you give her a chance. I expect you to behave about this Anastasia.

Christian Grey

Never More Serious CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Jeez Mr. Bossy!

**Date: **September 8th 2011 9.21am

**To:** Christian Grey

I 'look forward' to meeting my new babysitter. I'll behave

Ana x

** From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: **You'd Better

**Date:** September 8th 2011 9.24am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I will take that as a promise Mrs Grey. I meant what I said about tanning your behind with a hairbrush if you break another promise!

Christian Grey

CEO, & proud owner of a paddle brush, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Stow your hairbrush!

**Date: **September 8th 2011 9.21am

**To:** Christian Grey

Keep your hair on! I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of using your paddle brush for anything but brushing my hair!

I promise

Ana x

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Daddy

**Date: **September 14th 2011 10.21am

**To:** Christian Grey

I just got into the office. Dad was fine this morning, but tired so I didn't want to stay too long. Thank you so much for sorting out his move to Seattle so quickly. He loves the TV and seemed a little more himself! I'm going back to see him at lunch time.

And thank you for my beautiful birthday present which got me to work in great time. I love it!

I LOVE YOU.

That is all

Love Ana x

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Speed Demon

**Date:** September 14th 2011 9.16am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I'm glad your dad was chipper. If you go again today promise me you will eat lunch before you go. Dexter will tell me if you don't!

Dexter also mentioned to Taylor that Sawyer had a job keeping up with the R8 this morning. I am glad you are enjoying it Anastasia, but if you can't drive responsibly, I will confiscate your car keys. Consider this a warning!

Christian Grey

CEO, & traffic enforcement officer, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Slow down yourself

**Date: **September 14th 2011 4.50pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Oh Christian, I didn't break any speed limits, Dexter is just pissed because Sawyer won't let her drive! Don't get ahead of yourself!

I will have lunch when I visit with Dad, so Dexter will have no reason to squeal!

I PROMISE

Ana x

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

It seems like weeks since Jack Hyde broke in to the apartment and Christian decided to teach me a hard lesson about promises. In fact it is only just more than 2 weeks. So much has happened since then. Our weekend in Aspen, Kate and Elliot getting engaged, Leila and Susie turning up at SIP, Daddy's accident, my birthday.

I love my job now Jack has gone. Elizabeth seems much more amenable, but I'm still not sure she likes me! Dad is getting better every day and Christian and I have never been closer. I've been thinking recently about Christians plans for SIP. If he is serious about my heading up the company, I'm going to need to understand a little about the business. I have literally no interest in the business side of publishing, but I'm going to need to understand what it's all about if I have a hope of making a good Editor in Chief. If I don't, Christian will just take over and I will not work for him! I've going to spend this morning Googling Business Courses in Seattle. Maybe I can do an MBA part time? _If it takes you away from him in the evenings, Christian is never going to agree to you doing an MBA _my subconscious bleats. Well we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.


	6. Chapter 6: Warnings

I drive over to the hospital to see Dad, and pick up the paper and a couple of filled bagels on the way up to his room. We sit, watch the news on the TV Christian had installed and eat our bagels while Dexter waits outside the room.

Dexter is not much taller than me but quite a lot heavier. She not fat, but stocky, like a wrestler and she has just the hint of a wispy moustache on her top lip! She doesn't talk much. A bit like Prescott she is very serious. She reminds me of a prison guard with her sensible pants suits and her sensible shoes and her sensible scraped back hair. Christian is right, she is a professional. Ray and I laugh about my 'warder'! If I didn't see the funny side I'd probably cry. Ray of course is right behind Christian and is delighted that he takes my security so seriously but he can see why I find Dexter funny. I don't quite dare tease Christian about her in case he counts that as not giving her a chance!

When I get back to work, I have to run straight into a meeting with Roach. It's already 3.30 by the time I get back to my office! I send a couple of emails to Seattle and Washington Universities, asking them to send me information about their MBA courses. It looks like both of them graduate and executive programmes that are supposed to be work compatible. I might as well find out all I can before I broach the subject with Christian.

I have a small backlog of emails in my inbox. I deal the all the business right away, including one from Elizabeth Morgan, who I've always been a little uneasy around

**From:** Elizabeth Morgan

**Subject:** 5 minutes

**Date:** September 14th 2011 1.14pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Mrs Grey,

I popped up to your office at lunch time but you'd gone out. I am in a meeting until 5pm but is there any chance you could spare me 5 mins before you leave. I will be in my office, please just pop your head in

Elizabeth Morgan

HR Director SIP

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **5 minutes

**Date: **September 14th 2011 3.42pm

**To:** Elizabeth Morgan

Hi Elizabeth,

Please call me Ana.

Of course. I will stop by after 5

Ana

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

Now I'm up to date with business I can spare a few moments taking care of my personal life. I deal with Kate first then fire off a response to an email from Christian.

**From:** Kate Kavanagh

**Subject:** Can we do lunch?

**Date:** September 14th 2011 2.15pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Hi Ana

How is Ray? I thought I might stop by and see him after work. Is he up to visits yet? What should I take him?

How is the R8? I am still green with envy!

Are you would be free for lunch tomorrow. I have the afternoon off and was hoping you might take me a spin! Maybe we can hook up with Mia too? I haven't seen her since Aspen.

Don't be a stranger

Kate x

Katherine Kavanagh

Seattle Times

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Spin

**Date: **September 14th 2011 3.50pm

**To:** Kate Kavanagh

Hi Kate,

Yes that sounds good. Shall I pick you up at 12? The car is HOT! I can't wait to show you what it can do - So long as my new babysitter Ms Irene Dexter doesn't squeal on me to Christian! I'll call Mia.

Ray will be over the moon to see you. I took him the paper this morning and some sporting Magazines yesterday but I'm sure he'd love some new fishing magazines!

See ya tomorrow. I'm looking forward to hearing all the gossip about what's new with you and my brother in law!

Ana x

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Counting the minutes

**Date:** September 14th 2011 2.16pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

As I haven't heard from Dexter I assume you had some lunch and took your foot off the gas when you drove yourself.

I hope your Dad is still chipper.

What time will you be home? I will finish here around 6. I miss you. That does not give you permission to drive home like a maniac! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Christian Grey x

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Rolling eyes!

**Date: **September 14th 2011 4.02pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Yes I ate and yes I drove like a little old lady and yes I am rolling my eyes at you!

Daddy was still chipper. Kate is going to stop by later to visit with him so I will come straight home. I should be able to leave by 5.30. I won't hurry, even though my car would like me to! I am counting the minutes too

Ana xx

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

I wonder what Elizabeth wants? I hope it isn't about the ever present Dexter. She has a knack of always being there. I guess Christian would be pleased with that but I'm sure some of my colleagues don't like it. That's all I need!

At 5.15 I'm about finished and after shutting down, I gather up my purse and briefcase and head up to Elizabeth's office on my way out. Her door is open so I knock and pop my head in. She is on her cell phone but signals for me to come in. She seems agitated, eager to get off the phone. I sit in the seat on the other side of the desk form her as I wait for her to finish her call.

"I said yes... That isn't possible. No... No... O.K. 9.30... I'll do my best... I said Yes didn't I? I need to go I have someone with me."

Abruptly she hangs up. She is defiantly flustered. Her brow is set in a deep furrow and her breathing is fast.

"Sorry if I interrupted" I offer apologetically

"That's fine Mrs Gr... I mean Ana. .. " After putting her phone in her bag she seems to straighten her hair and skirt in an attempt to regain her calm "... Men, you know how they can be!" and she smiles tentatively, but it isn't a real smile, and her eyes remain cold.

"Yes Elizabeth, I sure do." She sits, but hesitates before speaking and there is an awkward silence.

"You wanted me to stop by Elizabeth? Is there anything wrong? Has there been a complaint about Ms Dext..."

"No No Ana Nothing like that" she interrupts

"Oh, well I'm relieved, I know it feels intrusive sometimes but Mr Grey insists, and since the incident with Jack, I'm afraid there isn't much I can do about it"

" No Ana, we've been briefed about Ms Dexter and I quite understand Mr Grey. No I just wanted to make sure you are Okay. You know... after ...everything."

"Yes, I'm fine?" I'm confused. I have no idea what this woman is trying to say, but I can tell that she isn't saying it! "You know Elizabeth, now my father is in Seattle and on the mend and with Jack charged and safe in custody there really isn't anythin..."

"Ana..." she interrupts again "...about Jack. You know, he wasn't well liked by his female colleagues don't you..."

"Yes, I did pick that up, after he'd gone. You mentioned it yourself..."

Her cheeks are flushed and she is quite obviously very uneasy, which is making me uneasy in turn.

"Yes I did didn't I... well I just wanted to make sure that ... You know... He'd been charged and, well, that he was still... you know, locked up safe and sound"

Well I really have no idea what is going on with Elizabeth! I've never heard her so, unsure, so ineloquent! She so on edge. _The poor woman probably just wants to make sure_ _he isn't coming back. She worked with him for a long time. He probably tried to grope her too!_ _Give her a break_ - my subconscious scolds

"Yes he should be going away for a long time Elizabeth," I try to reassure her "and he couldn't make bail. It was around $200,000, and he just doesn't have access to that kind of money " - _Thank Fuck_ I think

"besides" I add "I can't imagine even if by some miracle he got out that he'd stand a chance of getting near the building with Sawyer and Dexter as well as the SIP Security guys. I think we're all safe from Mr Jack Hyde..." I pause. After an uneasy moment I add "may I ask you a question Elizabeth?"

She doesn't answer, she just looks at me nervously so I continue " Did Jack ever try anything with you?"

"No." she responds a little too quickly, and a little too defensively. She checks herself and continues in a much more controlled tone.

"No , not with me, but I know he behaved inappropriately and... well I told you when he left... I'm not sorry he's gone. I just wanted to umm... to make sure that you were of his... well. You know Ana he's a complex character. I wanted to make sure you knew that he has an assocication with umm... an association with Linc... I mean, are you fully aware of his ... current situation."

_Current situation? _What a weird way to put it! She isn't making much sense and she's rambling about I don't know what!_ And what association with what? Linc? What is Linc? Or does she mean a link with something? _I have no idea, but I have no doubt Christian knows everything there is to know so I'm confused by this encounter, but unconcerned.

"Yes, Elizabeth, I can assure you Mr. Grey doesn't miss a thing with regard to security so we are very well informed thank you. He's not going to come out for a long time." She is silent again, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. "Was that all?" I ask

Elizabeth hesitates again and I get the distinct feeling that it is not all, but she takes a deep breath, smiles that phoney smile at me and says "Yes Ana, that's all. Have a good evening."

"Thank you, I will!"

What a strange little meeting that turned out to be!

With that I high tail it down to the garage to get into my beloved car, Dexter as ever, following behind like a shadow.

I put my blackberry in it's cradle and dial Mia's number before I pull out into the street.

"Hi Mia, It's Ana, How are you doing"

"Ana! Hi, I'm great! Are you in the car?"

"I sure am... I'm in my new R8"

"You better not let my brother catch you on the phone while you're driving!"

"I'm hands free Mia, besides he'll never know!"

"You don't honestly think hands free would be enough for Christian do you Ana? And he's probably got a camera trained on you in the dash! In fact I'm amazed he lets you use your phone at all let alone drive!" she teases giggling

"Yeah yeah, he's not that bad"

"Have you ever met Christian Grey Ana?!"

"Mia, that's enough! I wanted to ask you if you were free to meet me and Kate for lunch tomorrow? If you're just going to tease me about my overprotective husband I'm not sure you're still invited!"

"Yay! Yes please! I'm going to the health club in the morning to work out... would you like to meet there? It has a fantastic restaurant that has a fantastic view of the sound. I can make reservations"

"That sounds perfect Mia. Book the table for 12.30... and Mia, promise not to laugh when you meet my new protection officer. She's quite ... serious." I giggle "...But your brother is going to kick my butt if he thinks I'm not treating her with proper respect. He'll kick your butt too!"

"Sounds intriguing... has she got a moustache?"

"Mia, stop!.. And yes, she has a little one! I'm nearly home, I'd better go. See you tomorrow!"

"Laters Ana"

I park and go up to the apartment. I kick off my shoes and go change into sweatpants and a t shirt. I hear my blackberry ping and checking it, see a text from Christian

*** I'll be home just after 6.30. I will deal with your eye rolling later. C x***

My stomach flips. He's threatening to spank me!

*** Is that a threat or a promise? A x***

*** Oh it's a promise. C x***

*** Then Mr Grey, maybe I'll just take advantage & roll my eyes again! Are you sure you can wait until 6.30? ***

*** Keep it up Mrs Grey, keep it up***

*** silver balls? Pleeeaase? ***

*** That depends on how you behave***

I cannot wait for him to come home.


	7. Chapter 7: Monsoon

I cannot wait for him to come home. I go get my ipad, and select The Killers 'Hot Fuss' and pop in my head phones. I lay on my front on our bed, and pour over The Seattle University website. As I'm listening to 'Mr Brightside' I am getting sucked into the section on admissions for their executive MBA course and wondering how I'm going to broach this with Christian. Suddenly and out of nowhere, I feel an almighty whack across my ass.

I shoot up from the bed, wrenching the earphones out and my hands clamped to my behind! Christian is standing next to the bed, his 1000 mega watt smile lighting up the room. He is laughing, thoroughly delighted with himself.

"CHRISTIAN! What the fuck was that for!" I yell, not amused by his surprise in the slightest.

"Rolling your eyes baby, rolling your eyes!"

"Jeez, you scared the crap out of me! That hurt!"

"I'm sorry baby" he says, still grinning and not sorry at all "I didn't mean to scare you, do you want me to rub it better...?"

He lunges toward me, still standing on the bed with my hands up in front of me, defensively. With one deft swoop, he gathers up my wrists, pulls me towards him as he gracefully sits on the edge of the bed. Before I know it he has draped me across his lap. "There there, that's better baby, now I can give you a good butt rub!" He says with a smile in his voice, and his hand already rubbing my buttocks over my sweat pants in a circular motion.

"Oh no you don't Christian..." I protest, giggling a little and kicking my legs. He secures my flailing legs between his, so I am pinned.

"Shhhh Ana, and you are really in no position to order me about!" I can still hear the smile in his voice...

Holding my wrists firmly in his left hand, he pulls down my sweat pants with his right.

"No panties Mrs Grey? Was that wise? I'm not sure I approve" he says, teasing me. I can feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment and wriggle and squirm. I am defeated by both his firm grip and my own giggling.

"Christian Grey, you let me up!" I howl. He responds with three sharp swats to my upturned behind. "Ow! I thought you were going to rub it better!" I protest. Christian is openly laughing at me now.

"I'll rub it better baby, right after I've done spanking it!" And he spanks me again, three sharp swats sting my behind and I try to wriggle out of his grip...

"Shit Christian! This isn't fair, you ambushed me! You big, boneheaded, bully!"

"Keep it up Ana" he says with amusement "You're just making it worse"

And he unleashes another volley of swats on my rear end. It stings but doesn't really hurt, like last time. This is fun, and despite my protesting, I'm excited and aroused.

I continue to wriggle and squirm and giggle as he playfully spanks me until I can't catch my breath. At last I lie still and panting and Christian stops his assault on my behind and his sharp slaps are replaced with soft caresses.

His left hand loosens it's grip on my wrists and his thumb wanders it's way up my spine sending shivers through me. His right hand moves lower, as if drawn by a magnet, dipping two fingers inside me. "I think you liked that Mrs. Grey" he whispers seductively.

My back arches in response to his touch lifting my torso and head up and back, away from his lap, my hands pushing up from the bed. Christian responds by catching by arched upper body with his left arm, underneath and around my shoulders. Placing his other hand softly on my rosey red behind, he flips me over so I am sitting on his lap, my sweats that were around below my knees falling to the floor. I turn my body towards him, bringing my legs around so I'm straddling him, my arms around his neck. I tip my head up slightly so our mouths meet, his soft lips caressing mine. His tongue intruding, exploring.

He places his hands underneath my naked bottom and as I feel him effortlessly rise up from the bed, I wrap my legs around him. He walks over to the bathroom, and places me on the counter next to the basins. The stone surface is cold under my just spanked behind and I flinch and let out a little "oooh!". We giggle.

Christian unbuttons his shirt, while I watch. Discarding it, he slips off his shoes and socks, then unbuttons his fly. As he slips out of his pants and jockey shorts, I cross my hands in front of me, gripping the hem of my T shirt. In one fluid movement I pull the T shirt over my head, leaving me deliciously naked on the counter.

"Enjoying the view Mrs Grey?" Christian asks and he grins at me

_Oh my!_ He is breathtaking. I can't help but take bite seductively on my bottom lip as I smile right back up him through my eyelashes...

"... Now are you doing that on purpose Anastasia?"

"Certainly not Christian..." I lie.

Christian turns toward the shower and turns it on. The jet of hot water starts to fill the room with steam. My sentative butt feels cold against the stone counter. Christian turns and strides purposefully across the bathroom towards me. In one swift movement he sweeps me off the counter and over his shoulder! I can't help squeal, and as he swats my behind playfully, I catch a glimpse of it, rosie red, in the mirror! Blushing from ear to ear, I wriggle, squeal and giggle as he strides with by upturned bottom high on his shoulder, into the shower. The jet of hot water hits my bare behind and I kick my legs, giggling franticly.

Christian slides me off his shoulder, down his body, until my toes meet the stone floor of the shower. I've always loved this shower. It has a large stone floor at the same level as the rest of the room, tilting fractionally towards a barley visible drain so the water miraculously flows away. A gigantic, shower head hangs above which when switched on feels like showering in monsoon cloudburst! Another powerful jet head comes as if organically out from the bathroom wall just above head height.

My breasts press against his perfect torso, and he runs a hand through my dripping hair. I continue my descent, down his smooth body until I sink down into the forming pool at our feet. On my knees I lean in and place soft kisses along his firm thighs, he stoops down and kisses my lips with his soft lips, dripping with water.

"Turn around" he says, as he takes hold of my waist, turning me so, spinning on the slick wet shower floor on my knees, I face away from him.

"Bend over Ana, I want to have you this way" he breaths with urgency in my left ear, and as I obey, bending forward from my waist I support myself on my hands. Warm, steaming water is cascading down on us from above, heightening my senses. He reaches beneath me and deftly massages my clitoris, around and around, before inserting a finger deep indide, as water trickles down my behind. Kneeling now behind me, he places one hand on my back between my shoulder blades, withdraws his wandering fingers, and slams his length into me filling me. Instinctively I arch my back and my head flicks up to face the shower head which is now dousing my face in the shower's monsoon.

He slowly, rhythmically begins to move his hips, back and forth against my ass, massaging me with his length deep inside. I move collapse down on my arms so my face is resting on my hands next to the smooth floor of the shower and my ass is high in the air. Christian is holding me to him by my hips as he picks up his pace.

My position forces him deep and high against the wall of my vagina, suddenly pounding into my G-spot. I feel my self building towards a glorious high peak from deep inside me. When I think I can't go any higher the feeling just builds and builds, more and more intense. A whispered groan escapes my lips as my hips my hips mimic his rhythm and meet each his thrusts. I begin to lose control of my senses as I reach my peak; my arms stretch out in front of me as I grasp at the steam filled air. Christian's grip of me tightens, he moves his forearm around my pelvis, hooking me and lifting me a fraction off the floor of the shower.

Suspended, his pace increases, and he pushes me over. I unravel as he spills into me, grpping me tight to him in the shower's cascade.

A few moments later, lying in the afterglow of my orgasm, on the floor of the shower, with Christian leaning curled around me leaning up on his elbow. The water is running in rivulets over the perfect skin of his body and the carved contorts of his beautiful face. I squint to protect my eyes from the spray as I look up into his beaming smile.

Suddenly and without warning he springs up, reaches down, hooking me under my arm pits and pulling me up onto me feet beside him. I'm a little unsteady on my feet for half a second and we giggle

"Why Mrs Grey, I do believe I have fucked you 'till you can't stand up!"

"I can stand alright Christian - it's sitting I'm not so sure about" I retort, clutching my ass cheeks.

After we have washed each other, dried and dressed, we sit at the breakfast bar each with a delicious, perfectly cold glass of Sancerre, and tuck into Coq au Vin and Potatoes Lyonnaise with green salad.

"I'm meeting Kate and Mia for lunch tomorrow" I say as I finish up my salad.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to pick Kate up then we're meeting Mia at the health club. She says the restaurant is fantastic. Have you ever tried it?"

"No but I'm sure it is. I know the owner and he's a stickler for quality. They have a superb wine list from what I hear... You won't be drinking then if you're going in the R8?" Although Christian phrases this as a question, I know it is anything but! "Why don't you get Sawyer to drive you girls, then you can have a glass of wine or two?" He adds

"No Christian it's fine. I have a meeting with Roach at 4pm anyway so I won't be drinking. Besides, Kate is dying for me to take her for a spin in the R8."

He holds my gaze for a moment "Hmmmm..." is his only response, but of course I know he has something on his mind.

"Yes Christian? Is there a problem?"

"No. No problem. Because I know you are going to watch your speed, aren't you?"

I'm helpless to resist a roll of my eyes "Don't worry Christian, I like my car far to much to risk you confiscating it, and before you say anything, I think I pre-paid for that eye roll earlier!"

Christian smiles his irresistibly delicious smile "Just making sure baby, just making sure."


	8. Chapter 8: Ladies Who Lunch

I wake to sunshine streaming through the windows, and my mood matches the blue sky. As I watch a few wispy, white clouds float slowly across the expanse of blue, I glance at the clock on the nightstand and it is 7.34 already. I can hear the shower, sending a little shiver of delight through me as I remember yesterday evening's fabulous shower sex.

I stretch myself awake before hopping out of bed. I am naked still, I must have fallen asleep after our late night tryst! My silk nightgown lies in a pool on the floor over by Christian's side of the bed right where he left it. I saunter over to my dressing table to inspect my behind. Looking over my shoulder and gently examining my butt cheeks with my left hand. It's no longer blushing red, but has returned to it's unblemished natural porcelain complexion. As I make my inspection, I hear Christian chuckle. I turn my head and he is standing by the bed, with a white towel around his waist, rubbing his hair dry with another, smaller towel, and smirking at me. "What are you doing Ana?" he says, curious.

"Nothing..." I say blushing from ear to ear.

Christian walks over and wraps his arms around my waist, his hands on my ass.

"Don't be embarrassed baby!" he says, still smiling, "Your ass looks divine"

"I was just seeing if you left any marks..."

"Ana honey, I've spanked a lot of asses in my time, I know what I'm doing!"

I feel my blush deepen and I can't help but pout. I don't like to think about him spanking anyone else, but he's right about knowing what he's doing... He is quite the expert.

He interrupts my embarrassment with an affectionate little pop on my behind "Come on baby, time to get dressed. You don't want to be late for work; I understand your boss's boss's boss is quite the disciplinarian!"

After my shower I dress in a cream pants suit, with a gorgeous navy blue and white horizontal striped silk t shirt. The suit has a short fitted jacket and the pants taper elenently at the ankle. It makes me feel like Audry Hepburn! I pick out a little pair of red, kitten heal suede pumps. I like not quite matching. I think it looks cute!

As I drain my tea cup after finishing my breakfast, Christian regards me carfully obviously mulling something over. What's with him? Have I got egg on my face or something? He's making me very self conscious.

"What is it Christian?" I ask, and I sound a little more aggravated than I intend.

"I just wondered what time you are meeting my sister" - _here we go _ I think to myself_, what does he want now... _

"I'm picking Kate up at 12, and I said I'd call Mia when we get there. She's booked the table for 12.30. Why?"

"I just wondered. I was toying with the idea of joining you guys but I've got to go down to Portland first thing. I doubt I'll be back in time."

I'm relieved. It's not that I don't love lunching with my gorgeous husband, but he'd defiantly cramp my style with Kate and Mia. He can't relax with Kate at the best of times, and Mia just brings out the sensible, father figure in him. I need a bit of girl time. Still it won't hurt to feign a little disappointment...

"Awww that's a shame. Still you'd probably be bored with all the inevitable 'Elliot and Kate's wedding' talk. What are you in Portland for?"

"A meeting at the University. I'm taking Charlie Tango."

"Oh, will you be home tonight?"

"Sweetheart, I should be back by 2.00 at the latest."

Taylor is waiting by the door to the foyer, Christian acknowledges him with a nod, gets up, and places a soft kiss in my forehead "I've gotta shoot baby. Remember your promise..." he adds, arching his eyebrows and pointing his index finger.

"Promise?... Oh, yeah, I won't drink and I'll lay off the gas. I promise"

He beams "Laters baby"

"Laters Christian."

The morning passes quickly. Before I know it it's 11.45 and I need to get going. I'm starving actually and looking forward to seeing Kate and Mia.

I meet Dexter by the stairwell to the garage and we go down together. I don't know what is eating her today, but she seems even less affable than usual. Who'd have thought that were possible!? Sawyer is waiting in the black SUV assigned to him. It's the same exact model as the one Christian uses.

I get in my car and Dexter joins Sawyer in the SUV. They follow me out of the parking lot. I drive up to Kate's office and she is waiting on the sidewalk outside. She jumps in and I pull out into the lunchtime traffic.

"Wow, Ana this is car is the business!"

"I know, it's pretty awesome..."

"Is that your Goon squad behind us?"

"Yeah, sure is. I'm having a little trouble warming to the new one - Irene Dexter - and she's really got a bug up her ass today"

"Hey Ana, why don't we ditch 'em"

"Kate Kavanagh! You've either had a frontal lobotomy or you're drunk! Christian would never let me out again" _and he'd tan your hide so you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week, _my subconscious silently adds.

"It's such a bore Ana, and now that asshole you used to work for is inside, I don't see the need for babysitters. What happened to that Prescott woman anyway?"

"Oh, that was my fault actually. Christian fired her. I never liked her much but I feel bad she lost her job cause of me"

"What did you do Ana?"

"It's long, boring story, let's just agree that we can't ditch the goons!"

"No Fun" Kate pouts.

Well I can't have her pouting and thinking I've gone boring on her! "I said we can't ditch them Kate, I didn't say we can't have a little fun!"

We slow for the lights ahead just as they are changing to red. Suddenly and without warning I open up the throttle and we shoot forward fast. "Watch Dexter's face - she's probably peed her pants!" I yell over to Kate. I see in my rear view mirror Sawyer stall the car as he tries to react to our sudden departure. He's missed his moment and traffic is now crossing the intersection and he's going to have to wait for the lights to change again. In seconds we are away, laughing helplessly. _You're really gonna get it when Christian finds out_ my subconscious scolds... Oh shut up, I think, I haven't broken my promise, look at the speedo. It was just a slip of the peddle, and I can't help it if Sawyer stalls his car!

"Oh Ana" Kate laughs "you should have seen her face!" Kate is laughing so hard she is holding onto her stomach "I don't know if she peed her pants but I'm pretty sure she crapped in them!"

Just then, my blackberry goes off. It's Dexter. "Shhh Kate, Stop laughing!"

I put her on speaker "Oh Irene where are you guys? I hit the accelerator instead of the break, I'm so sorry! I think I've lost you!" Kate has her hand over her mouth and is barely holding in her laughter. I reach over and hit her on the shoulder.

"Where are you now Mrs. Grey? We are still at the lights and would appreciate it if you could pull over in an appropriate place and wait for us to catch you up"

"You know where we're headed right? How about I just carry on slowly and you'll catch up soon enough. I'm not sure Mr. Grey or Mr Taylor would really want me to just stop without you guys in visual contact. I'm only doing 30, so you'll be with us in no time, right?"

There is a pause and I can hear her muffled conference with Sawyer before her voice comes back over the speakerphone

"Mrs. Grey, we agree you should probably keep moving towards your destination. May we request you keep at 30 or below and keep to the main route on your satellite navigation system and we should be back with you within 3 minutes or so. We are moving again now Ma'am so we will be behind you directly"

"No problem Dexter, thank you" I reply sweetly, before hanging up.

I grin over at Kate then suddenly hang a right, and put my foot on the gas!

"Oh Shit Kate, I seem to have accidentally gone off piste! And I seem to be going a little fast! And with no babysitters, there is nobody to split on me to Christian!"

"WaaaaaHhay!" Kate responds, with her arms above her and her hand flat against the roof of the car.

As I press down on the gas and we really get a chance to see what my new car can do. I feel so free and there is nobody to stop me!

My subconscious is tutting at me over her half moon spectacles, but I know Christian won't find out about my little rebellion, as I'm pretty sure Sawyer will not want to admit he stalled the car and lost me.

In no time we pull up in the car park at the health club. Still no Sawyer or Dexter. I park close to the entrance so when the do get here they can quickly reassure themselves that we arrived safely.

We arrive at reception and as guests of Mia are shown to a beautiful lounge upstairs. It overlooks the lake and the sunshine streams in through the huge windows.

"Mrs Grey, Miss Kavanagh, Miss Grey's Yoga class is running 10 minutes over. May I get you a drink while you wait, or perhaps show you around?"

We respond simultaneously "I'll have a mineral water" "I'd love to look round" and giggle.

"Oh Ana, I'd like to have a look if we have time. Mia raves about this place and I need to join a health club now I'm getting ready to get married"

"Sure, Kate, you go, I'll stay here, have a drink and call Christian. I want to make sure I'm not in trouble! Go see if you like it!"

"Ok - see you in 10!" and she disappears

I dial Christian's number and he answers right away

"Hi Baby, you at the club?"

"Yes, it's gorgeous. You at the University?"

"No, I've finished there. I'm in the car. We just got to the helipad. Do you need something baby?"

"No, I was just seeing how you are?"

"I'm fine Ana. I should be back in Seattle by 1.30. You have a nice lunch with the girls"

"I will. I love you"

"I love you too baby. Now go eat"

I breathe a small sigh of relief. If they were going to tell him they'd have told him by now. I put my blackberry on vibrate and stow it in in the pocket of my pants so I can feel it if it rings. I can't stand hearing ring tones in restaurants. It so rude!

My mineral water arrives and the waiter discreetly turns to speak to me "Mrs. Grey, there are a couple of people in reception who would like to see you Ma'am"

_That'll be Sawyer and Dexter. I'd better go put them out of their misery and show them I'm fine_.

I leave my water at the table and go down, where Sawyer and a very stressed and slightly red faced Dexter are waiting. I greet them with smiles.

"Luke, what happened? I stayed at 30, but you never caught up with me." It is obviously not true and Sawyer looks awkward, but doesn't contradict me.

"Mrs. Grey, you and Miss Kavanagh got here OK?" Dexter has stepped back to take a call on her blackberry. I can't hear what she is saying. I think she is talking to Taylor. She looks very serious, but then when doesn't she?

"Yes, sure, of course we did." I respond. Although I am certain he suspects I drove too fast and that is why he is checking up on me, I have a nagging feeling that there is something else. "Is everything OK Luke?" I enquire, nodding over towards Dexter

"Yes Ma'am, everything is under control. We have been notified of little situation. It's nothing for you to be concerned about for now ma'am."

"How mysterious Luke. Please order yourself and Irene something to eat if you're hungry and charge it to our table."

"Thank you Ma'am, that won't be necessary."

As I reach the lounge I notice Kate and Mia coming up the spiral staircase on the other side of the room arm in arm. I glance towards where I was sitting and for a moment I think I see a man, a waiter probably, standing over the table, But the sunshine streaming through the windows is bright and I can't make him out. Mia calls over to me and I'm distracted...

"Ana! Hi"

We embrace and go over to our table in the lounge. We sit down just long enough for the girls to order a bottle of wine before the waiter returns to show us to our table in the restaurant. I'm so thirsty, I pick up my water and glug it down in one before we move to the restaurant

"eeeww! I hate that kind of mineral water; you know the type that's fortified. Tastes like Alka-Seltza or something" I quietly complain to Kate.

I ask the waiter for some orange juice and we settle down to peruse the menu. Actually, we are so full of chatter we hardly glance at it and when the drinks arrive we are not ready to order at all.

Mia is predictably over excited about the prospect of shopping for Elliot and Kate's wedding. Kate is beaming. As they enjoy their wine, I feel a little tipsy just watching them. The waiter arrives to take our order. Mia orders salmon, Kate protests that as a bride she needs to loose a few pounds and orders an egg white omelette with steamed vegetables and grilled tuna. It's my turn to order

"I'll have a Chicken Chaeser Shalad" Mia and Kate dissolve in fits of hysterics "And you're the one on OJ Ana!" Mia teases

"I'm sorry, It's like a tongue twister" I'm blushing with embarrassment "... a CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD" I enunciate carefully.

It's like I'm sympathy drunk! I excuse myself to go to the bathroom for a moment. I feel like I have to splash cold water on my face. The bathroom is at the bottom of the spiral staircase and I have to concentrate so as not to trip up. The ladies room door is right next to patio doors that open out onto the beautiful grounds and down to the lake. I go in and stare at myself in the mirror for a few moments. I'm finding it hard to focus. I must me having a sugar low or something. I'm just about to hunt in my purse something, a tic-tac anything to give me a hit of sugar when I realise I've left my purse at the table. Shit, where is my head at!

The doors to the ladies room open and I don't bother to look over to see who has come in. I splash some water onto my face, then I hear something... my name I think... a woman's voice, it's familiar

"Anastasia, Are you alright Anastasia?" I look up and squint into the mirror and recognise Elizabeth form SIP standing behind me

"Elish-beth" I slurr" "what are you doing here?"

"I'm a member here. I had a class. Are you OK Anastasia?"

"Well actch-ually I feel a little funny. I think I need some sugar or something"

"Oh here, I have some dextrose in my bag, I use it when I exercise. Would you like one?" she offers.

I take a dextrose tablet and chew it. It does not taste good. It's bitter.

"Lets step outside Anastasia, you need some air" and before I can object she leads me through the door, out of the patio doors and out into the gardens.

My eyes are heavy, my legs are heavy, I hear Elisabeth's voice. I hear a man's voice. I know that voice, it can't be, it's not possible. My knees buckle and someone sweeps down and picks me up in their arms. I flick open my eyes for a moment... it is him, it's him. It Jack, it's Jack Hyde. Before I know it I am being bundled into the back of a car, my head lolling and my limbs hanging, useless.


	9. Chapter 9 : Taken

I have the sensation that I'm moving. Falling maybe? No, that's not right... I'm lying down... face down... a car... I _am_ moving ... in the back of a car... feels like I'm moving fast... Christian? Is Christian driving? I can't move... can't open my eyes.

I hear talking... a woman... I know the voice... Elizabeth Morgan ... I remember the Health club... Dextrose... she drugged me?... Jack... Jack Hyde. Shit... I've gotta to get out. I try to sit up... heavy... Force my eyes open... it's bright... We're in the city I think... blurry...

Someone is shouting... it's Jacks Voice

"Just keep your hands on the wheel Elisabeth, I'll deal with her!"

I've got to get out... I reach for the door, pull lever, pull as hard as I can... door swings open, gotta jump... Someone has my arm, ow, tight grip... he's hurting me... pushes me down... the door slams... he has me "Stay down bitch"

Aghhh! My head, shit, he hit me with something, my head hurts... unconscious... pretend to be unconscious.

I close my eyes and go limp. I can feel a warm trickle down my forehead and left eyelid. It must be blood. The blow seems to have cleared my head a little.

Hyde clambers back into the front seat.

I hear Elizabeth again

"Did you have to do that?"

"Bitch deserved it... I can't fucking believe my luck!" He is laughing; gloating! "Go out to get the bait and end up with the prize!"

"Yeah well, that was luck alright."

We make a sharp right turn. It's hard to appear unconscious when you are being thrown around the back of a car. I have to resist the urge to grip on.

Elizabeth continues, but she sounds bitter, "Are you sure she's alright. This has nothing to do with me Jack, I don't want to get involved in anything serious"

"Don't be so stupid Elizabeth. You already in up to your scrawny neck! This is abduction you know."

"It's also coercion. I didn't want to have anything to do with this, with you. If Mr. Lincoln hadn't stuck his big nose in ..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. Do I need to remind you why you're doing this?"

She is quiet. I sneak my eyes open a fraction for just a moment. My left eye is useless, covered in blood from my head I guess. I can just see out of the windscreen - it isn't the city, it's the suburbs I think, not enough traffic for the city, not enough tall buildings.

Then Elizabeth pipes up again...

"You scared the shit out of me Jack... When the yoga class ran over and you weren't waiting where you said you'd be, I didn't know what to do! I thought you'd been caught or arrested or something"

"Not me! I know what I'm doing... I tell you though, I could not believe my eyes when she pulled up at the club! There she was! Who needs Mia Grey when you've Anastasia... You know what they say, who needs a beef burger when you got steak!" He sounds so damn pleased with himself.

I can feel a vibration in my pocket next to my skin. I panic for a moment, but soon calm when I realize I can't even hear it over the noise of the engine. Someone must know I'm, gone. I have no idea what time it is, how long I've been missing, where Christian is. Oh Christian, this will cripple him. He is always so strong. How will he cope with this?

"Pull over here. I need to get a soda, and some cigarettes." Jack orders. She does not respond but does as she is told. Hyde slams the door behing him.

Alone in the car with Elizabeth I wonder if I should appeal to her. It's obvious she is being coerced. But what with... what is she protecting? I just don't know and I can't risk it. If he has one of her kids or something I wouldn't stand I chance. It occurs to me I don't even know if she's married, let alone if she has kids.

For a moment I'm confused... is Jack back? Someone else? Is she on the phone? Then I realise she is quietly talking to herself... or to me; unconscious me that is!

"Shit, Shit SHIT what am I doing?. What the FUCK am I gonna do?... Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl. I tried to warn you, you stupid little girl... I tried to fucking tell you he was getting out... Why didn't you tell your billionaire husband so he could stop this shit going down? What the fuck do you expect me to do you stupid, spoiled little rich bitch? We don't all have billionaire husbands waiting in the wings, you have no idea... no FUCKING IDEA what it's like... Shit. Shit, shit, SHIT!

Wow, what a monologue. At the end of her quiet ranting it sounds like she has her face in her hands. She must be pretty desperate. I was pretty sure Elizabeth never liked me, but I never really realized quite how much! I don't think she likes anyone much actually. Jeez I'm tired. The adrenaline from when he hit me must be wearing off. I feel like I have so much shit in my system. I'm really tired.

Suddenly I hear the car door open. It's Jack, but he doesn't get into the front, he gets in the back next to me. I open my eyes a crack to see what he's doing. He is getting something out of his pocket. He is dripping something into a bottle of water he just bought... Suddenly I put 2 and 2 together... it wasn't a waiter at the table in the lounge at the club. It was him, he put something in my water while I was downstairs with Sawyer... he doped me. He came to dope Mia after Yoga, but he got a shot at me instead.

"Hi there Ana..." Shit, I was so distracted, I didn't notice him looking at me - he saw my eyes open! Suddenly he grabs a handful of my hair in his fist and lifts my head up of the seat. Now I'm sitting up I feel woozy again. He is smiling at me, a sickly sweet smile. "You gonna be a good girl Ana?" he asks.

My eyes dart across to Elizabeth's, staring back at me from the rear view mirror. Her eyes look watery. She quickly looks away, focusing straight ahead. I look past Jack's shoulder, out of the window of the door he just came through; we are outside a drugstore, next to a small deli. I was right, we are not in the city centre any more but there are people walking by; a few parked cars, the occasional car passes. Why don't the stop? I realise the windows of the car are heavily tinted. They can't see me. "Come on Ana, time for a little drink... open up". The hand that was holding my hair now grips my face under the jaw, roughly.

"You can call me Mrs Grey" I spit back as he squeezes my face between his thumb and fingers. I hardly finish speaking when he rams the neck of the bottle into my mouth, halfway down my throat, making me gag. I'm forced to swallow the tainted water.

We head off along the street. When the bottle is empty he takes it out of my mouth and I spit the last gulp of unswallowed liquid that remains in my mouth as hard as I can in Jack Hyde's face. "Very ladylike!" he retorts through gritted teeth and he lands a powerful slap across my cheekbone. _Thank God_ I think, _that slap might just keep me awake a little longer!_

As we gather speed and there are fewer people and cars, I realise this is may be my only chance... I will be collapsed in the back as soon as that shit gets into my system.

I launch myself at Jack. I grab at his hair and he jerks mine back in response. I bring my left leg around. I have lost my shoe, but no matter. I lift my leg bring my heal down as hard as I can into his groin and he releases my hair to nurse his injury! I draw my leg back and with the with flat of my foot, using as much force as I can, kick in the jaw. As he doubles up, I grab Elizabeth's hair and violently as I can jerk her head back. She instinctively hits the breaks throwing the doubled over Jack forward.

I have less than a moment to react and as the car slows I open the door closest to me. Jack reaches out flailing to grab me but is too late. I launch myself out of the car, landing in the middle of the street.

A car coming in the other direction swerves to avoid me and stops, as does another coming up behind. There are a few people... people on the sidewalk. I try to get up... I can't, my ribs, my arm, my ankle, everything hurts. Why aren't they helping me?

Hyde's car comes to a complete standstill a few yards away. I can see it for the first time - it's a blue SUV. Hyde gets out still bent over a little. He has a gun in his right hand... not aimed, just hanging at his side. I stare through my bloody eye, transfixed by the car and by the gun... what will I do now? I want to scream out for help but I am wracked with sudden and violent stomach cramps and vomit copiously in the middle of the street. The people on the sidewalk stand back, the drivers of the other cars get in their cars not knowing what to think about what they are seeing. I hear another car approaching and screeching to a halt and then running, not away but towards me. Shouting... lots of shouting

Suddenly Hyde climbs back in the passenger door of the SUV and car screeches away before he has even closed the door. I roll over onto my back, wincing at the pain in my wrist, my ribs. I think I pass out for a moment. I wake briefly to hear sirens coming from the direction Jack's car went in, car tyres... more shouting. I can't talk, Christian, I want Christian... My vision blurs and despite feeling nauseous, I have an overwhelming urge to sleep. As I drift I can hear his voice...

"Anastasia..."

I open my eyes, I am in Christian's arms. I'm safe. I drift. I open them again and I am in a white room, no not a room, we are moving, and there are people here ... I hear a siren, and Christian beside me. He is yelling... not at me, at another guy... a paramedic I think, I want to talk... I swat away a plastic mask from my face, but before I say anything the nausea returns and I vomit again. It hurts my ribs. And I'm gone again.

I am in a bed a softly lit room with powder blue walls. It is dark and quiet and the blind is drawn. Why am I here? Where is Christian? This isn't Escala? Jeez my head feels like it's been through the spin dryer though... actually,I feel like my whole body has been through the dryer... I ache everywhere. I am tired. I have an IV drip in my left arm, and my right wrist has a brace on it. I'm trying to make sense of my surroundings. After a moment or two the obvious strikes me. I'm in a hospital room. Where is Christian? I want Christian.

The door opens and in he walks. His face a frown, worried. As soon as his eyes meet mine his frown is shattered by his beautiful smile. I love this man.

"Ana baby, what are you doing awake?" he speaks so softly it is almost a whisper.

My thoughts are all over the place...

"I don't know, what time is it? ... Jeez I've got a stinker of a sore throat. Can I have some water? I'm really thirsty. Where were you anyway? How long have I been here? Oh and where are..."

"Slow down baby" He interrupts in his calmest, most measured tone. His voice is soothing. Reassuring. His confidence makes me feel safe "How are you feeling?" he adds.

"My throat hurts, I've got stinker of a headache too, and my wrist hurts" I try to sit up a little but as I do, I get a sharp pain in my ribs, " Oww! Shit, my ribs... everything hurts Christian."

"No, no, stop sweetheart, you can't sit up by yourself. Do you want to sit up?"

I nod and wince again, "okay, just for a minute so you can have a drink. Come here I'll help you." He reaches behind me and gently pulls me under my arms, so my bottom shifts up the bed a foot or so, and I can sit upright against the pillows he is adjusting.

"Better?"

"Ahhhhh,! Yeah, that's OK."

"Baby your ribs are badly bruised, you are lucky they aren't broken falling from the car like that. You've got a nasty ankle sprain and your wrist has a small fracture. Lots of bumps and scrapes but you are OK." As he says this, his eyes seem to fill, but ever in control, no tear falls and he quickly composes himself.

"Falling from the car...?" For a second I'm confused, then...

"Blue SUV, I jumped." I think for a moment as I try to make sense of fractured images, memories. Then I remember and gasp at the realisation... "Jack! he hurt me." Now it's my eyes that begin to fill. "I kicked him, hard... And Elizabeth... what was she _doing_ there? They drugged me I think. My brain feels scrambled"

"They put Rohypnol in your water and topped it up with Ketamine. That's basically a horse tranquiliser. I don't want you to worry Ana, you need to rest. We're were luck you vomited."

Christian, I was sick, really sick. Where are Kate and Mia, are they Okay? He hit me...The bastard hit me" I reach up to my head above my left eye, and feel there is a large dressing there. I look into Christians face, I'm confused, searching for reassurance, for answers. Christian smiles and I know it is to reassure me, behind that smile, painted on for my benefit, I can see his face is etched with pain.

"It's Okay baby. You are safe. Mia and Kate are safe too. Here, have a sip of water."

I take the water and drink... and drink, and drink, draining the glass. "You weren't kidding about being thirsty!." I giggle for the first time in a while. "That's better baby, I love that sound."

"So... What happened Christian? Where are Mia and Kate?"

"I sent them home. They wanted to stay but you need to rest... When you didn't come back from the ladies room, and they couldn't find you, they went and got Sawyer. We already knew Jack had been released. Taylor took the call while I was on the phone to you. Nobody thought you were at risk baby. I'm so sorry. We don't know how he knew you were at the club..."

I am silent for a moment, trying to piece together eavesdropped conversations... "It was Mia, they wanted Mia. They knew she was there for her class... They got lucky... Jack got lucky. Elizabeth... I don't think she wanted to be there... I think she tried to warn me, yesterday..."

"No Ana, not yesterday. Today's Friday, or it will be. It's 2am and you have a lot of crap still in your system. You need to sleep it off. We can talk more in the morning baby. I want you to sleep now."

He places a kiss on my head, before sliding one arm underneath my back, the other just below my bottom and lifting me a couple of inches off the bed, placing me ever so gently back down in my original position. He rearranges my pillows so I am lying flat.

"Where were you?" I ask

"I just got back to Seattle. I was on my way to Grey house with Taylor when Sawyer called."

"No Christian, not then, where were you just now, when I woke up..."

"I was just outside with Dexter. She's just come back on shift and she is right outside the door with two uniformed police officers."

"What? Why do we need..." and then it dawns on my...

"...They didn't get him did they?"

"... They arrested Elizabeth Morgan in the car, but Jack Hyde... well he'd gone. It's Okay Ana, you are safe, he can't get near you. I won't ever let him near you again. Now that's enough questions tonight Anastasia" he says firmly "We'll talk in the morning. I'm not going anywhere, you need to sleep."

"but Christian I jus..."

"I said NO. Sleep" and he silences me with the softest of kisses on my lips.

I drift into a restless, troubled sleep.


	10. Chapter 10: House Arrest

I wake to the familiar sound of rain against glass. I open my eyes to the powder blue walls of my hospital room. I feel anxious, where is he? There is a large, friendly looking black lady, a nurse, bustling around me. I scour the room for Christian, my view blocked somewhat by the nurse's ample ass. Then I spot him, sitting on the couch on the opposite wall, reading the paper. I feel relief flood my body. I know he isn't really reading, more occupying himself while the nurse does her job… getting a little control over his thoughts in a situation where he has none. Why does he make me feel this way? I know I am safe when he is with me. I smile to myself and visibly relax.

"Ahhh Mrs Grey, you're awake" the Nurse greets me warmly.

Christian immediately looks up, puts his paper down and comes over to the bed. He takes my left hand which still has the cannula in it attached to the IV, and softly presses my palm to his lips. I smile at him, his eyes never leaving mine. For all his CEO, control freakish 'I'm gonna spank you' bravado, he is at heart as soft as marshmallow, though I don't doubt that his staff would balk at that notion! As we silently greet each other the nurse continues to chatter away, largely unheard by us.

"My name is Dorothy, and you have had a quite a tumble Mrs Grey" She speaks in an accent I don't immediately recognise; I think it is Caribbean, Jamaican perhaps. It is not an accent I have heard very often except on TV.

She gently takes the IV line down and removes the cannula from the back of my hand. She checks my blood pressure, explaining that because of the drugs it had been unusually low, but thankfully was now a healthy normal. She explains that the fracture in my wrist is minor and that I must wear the brace, but I may be able to take it off after 2 or 3 weeks all things being well. She explains about the effects of the drugs on my body, how I will have gaps in my memory but, because I had no alcohol in my system, memory loss may not affect me so badly as it does in some cases. She reassures me that I should feel fine in a few days. She takes bloods. Finally she says I should be able to go home when the doctor has seen me, providing the bloods come back okay of course. That is music to my ears and I sit up, ignoring discomfort of my ribs, grinning like a moron

"Hmmm, we'll see" Christian says under his breath. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, and giggle instead. I know he's going to want to wrap me in bubble wrap and keep my locked away at home now, certainly until Hyde is caught. I'll deal with him and his paranoid foibles later. For now, I just can't wait to get home.

I have a little breakfast of toast and fruit salad and a glass of orange juice. I have to eat little and often for 24 hours or so, Dorothy advises, just until my stomach settles and the bruising on my ribs to come out.

The Doctor, a lovely man in his late fifties, introduces himself as Martin Cooper. He checks me over. He is satisfied that the vomiting was due to the drugs and not a symptom of concussion which they had been a little concerned it might be. Christian looks sceptical but Dr Cooper is happy for me to go home; not before Christian gives him the 3rd degree. "How long before she can get up and about? When should she go back to work? Are you certain she is well enough to go home, not concussed or damaged? What do I need to watch out for? Is there anything she shouldn't eat? Alcohol - is that safe after all those drugs? And sex, when will she be OK to resume marital relations?" Frankly I'm embarrassed and more than a little annoyed by this. I'm too irritated to bother interjecting or arguing though. I just want to go home.

On our way out we pop in on Ray. He is improving every day and so relieved to see me. I tell him how I kicked Jack in the groin and I can tell he is proud of his little girl. Christian finds it hard to listen to my account of my ordeal. He whisks me home as soon as he can, insisting I need to rest. I can see how this is going to go if I don't get a firm hold of the situation!

We get home just before 1pm. All the way home, I snuggle up to Christian in the back of the SUV while he strokes my hair, telling me he's proud of how brave I was, how he has married a 'gutsy little woman'. It evidently impressed him that I managed to get out of the car by myself. It is such a contrast from the last time I was in the back of a car with a man and the comparison makes me shudder.

When we reach the apartment, I'm relieved, I'm home. We walk into the great room, and there at the breakfast bar are Mia, Kate, and Elliot! Christian smiles and greets them warmly, but I can tell he isn't thrilled!

"Chicken Cesar salad wasn't it Ana?" Mia grins. "It's a little late, but we didn't think you'd want to miss out on our lunch!"

Kate comes over, tears welling in her eyes, a bottle of champagne in one hand and hugs me tight. She takes me by surprise, she hurts my ribs a little. Then Elliot pulls me into tight hug almost winding me and I wince as pain shoots through my ribs "Kate, Elliot, be careful with her!" Christian scolds, as he relieves Kate of the champagne.

"It's Okay Christian…" I snap "Aw guys, that's so sweet, and I'm starving!".

At last Christian relaxes, and we all tuck into a lunch. I know since Dr. Cooper advised no alcohol for a few days that Christian won't allow me champagne. I have orange juice while I encourage the others celebrate my safe return with champagne. They are my family and I love them.

The next couple of days are a trial. I am feeling stronger mentally and physically, but am having nightmares, more flashbacks actually, so feel a little tired and grouchy. I am also board; it's like I'm under house arrest. Christian predictably monitors everything I eat, drink and do. I won the battle over 'bed rest' by phoning his mother and getting her to explain that I'm better off keeping to a fairly normal routine, keeping mobile, gently exercising my battered and bruised body. I catch up on reading, and do a little more research on MBA courses when Christian isn't looking. I even fold a little laundry just to keep busy.

I try to seduce him in bed on Sunday evening. I tentatively - so as not to wince if my now healing bruises catch - climb astride him while he lies next to me reading. I straddle him and leaning forward to kiss him and give him a close up eye full of my braless breasts bouncing in my delicate silk nightgown. I am hoping to show him how much better I'm feeling so maybe he will let me return to work tomorrow. I know it's a long shot as even Dr. Cooper suggested delaying my return to work until mid week.

I am defeated before I get started despite his growing erection which I can feel beneath me. Christian gently but firmly holding me by the waist, flips over so I am underneath him, my good wrist pinned to the bed with his hand. "No, No, No Ana, I know what you are doing…" he challenges "…Much as I'd like to be distracted by your feminine charms…" he punctuates his sentence with a soft kiss on my parted lips, "… I am not making love to you. And before you ask again you are not going back to work before at least Wednesday!" He is smiling and I am pouting. Knowing the size of Christians libido I guess have to admire his self control!

It is Monday afternoon and Christian has promised me we can talk through what happened last Thursday properly this evening. We haven't discussed it since the early hours of Friday morning. He managed to put this off all weekend by distracting me or disappearing into his office for urgent 'security briefings', and to be honest, I felt too muddled and upset to take it in for a while. I just wanted not to think about it for a little bit. I feel much like my normal self now. The bruising on my ribs is yellowing and really barely hurts anymore. The glimpses of my ordeal that I remember, I remember in sharp and vivid Technicolor! Christian has finally to allowed the police to come over and take my statement. It seems the right time, I need to understand a little more about what the hell happened on Thursday! Neither of has any excuse put it off any longer. I know my husband well enough to know that he will have left no stone unturned with regard to finding out who was responsible for Hyde getting to me. He promised me never to keep me in the dark and I trust he will honour his promise.

It's now 4.30. Earlier this afternoon Christian disappeared to his office for two hours with Sawyer and Dexter. When he comes out I am on the couch in the great room, reading. His face is like thunder. I'm sure it is because Detective Clarke is due any time now. I know he will feel anxious and invaded. I go over and give him a reassuring hug - my ribs barely tender now. He wraps his arms around me and kisses me.

"Don't worry Christian, this will be over soon, and then you can tell me what happened Thursday while I was 'otherwise engaged.'" I giggle at my little joke, but Christian is stony faced.

"Anastasia, don't you have something you need to tell me?"

I'm confused. I told Christian about the conversations I overheard from the back of the blue SUV, I told him two nights ago when he woke me from my nightmare. I told him about how they got the drugs into me, about the 'Dextrose' tablet, and about Jack hitting me twice when we were in the hospital talking to Dr Cooper. What haven't I told him?

"No, I don't think so Christian…"

"Sawyer and Dexter just submitted their written reports of Thursday. We went through them line by line."

I am still confused, then it occurs to me that their report will include our journey over to the health club…

"And I called Kate just now…"

Shit! I feel myself blushing scarlet.

"You just lost your car keys baby."

"Well I can't drive with this anyway" I mumble defensively indicating the brace on my right wrist.

Christian smiles, taking my car key out of his pocket "You wouldn't be driving yourself until Hyde is caught even if you hadn't fractured your wrist. I'm keeping this until I'm persuaded you can resist the urge to drive like a lunatic." And he puts the key back in his pocket.

"Why did you buy me the damn car if you're not going to let me drive it? Maybe you should have bought me a Prius!" I retort sarcastically.

At that moment, Taylor announces Detective Clarke's arrival.

"We're not finished Ana. We'll continue our talk later." He says firmly before walking over to shake the detective's hand. The threat in his words in implicit.

We sit on the couches in the great room, Christian sits next to me, with his arm resting on the back of the couch behind me. I sit upright, on the edge of the couch. Detective Clarke takes a seat as directed, on the opposite couch.

I give detective Clarke my statement. I explain about what I heard of Hyde's intentions to abduct Mia, and how they just got lucky with me. I explain that Elizabeth seemed to be acting against her judgement, if not her will, that I thought he must have something on her. I describe again how he hit me, first on my head with something hard, a gun maybe, then when he hit me across my face, my cheekbone, after I spat the water at him. Finally I recount in animated detail how I kicked Hyde, first in the nuts, then in the jaw. Christian moves his arm around my shoulder and squeezes me to him, quietly asserting, with more than a little pride "That's my girl!"

The detective in turn explains how as soon as the police were made aware of Hyde's release, they informed us, via Taylor. I notice that as detective Clarke recounts the details of Hyde's bail and release, Christian is watching me, his hand resting on his jaw, index finger horizontal against his mouth. He never even glances at Detective Clarke as he carries on to explain that the police were not even informed of Hyde's bail and release until after midday on Thursday. Bail was posted late on Wednesday and Hyde was freed first thing Thursday. A man named Mr Lincoln posted bail.

"Lincoln? Elena's Ex?" I question

"Yes" Christian says simply, not taking his hand away from his mouth. "Patrick Lincoln, everyone calls him Linc." He adds.

Then I remember the weird conversation with Elizabeth at the office the day before. She mentioned Linc; and that monologue she directed at me when she thought I was unconscious in the back of the SUV. She mentioned warning me…

"Elizabeth knew on Wednesday afternoon, about Mr Lincoln. I think she tried to warn me!"

"What?" Suddenly Christian is animated, sitting forward in his seat "why didn't you tell me? What did she say?" Jeez, he sounds mad… "I just thought she was being weird . I didn't think much about it. By the time I was home, I forgot about it." I say truthfully; I refrain from reminding Christian of the rather distracting shower sex that took my mind off pretty much everything as soon as he came home that night!

"She didn't make a lot of sense from what I remember… she wanted me to check Hyde had been charged or something… and she mentioned an association with Linc… but I just didn't know what she was talking about… I didn't know what 'Linc' meant… I didn't even realise 'Linc was a person!"

After a moment Christian stands, and detective Clarke stands in response. "Do you have everything you need Mr Clarke? My wife needs to eat soon, she still recovering."

"Yes Mr Grey, I have the statement. I will be back in touch if I need anything else. Meantime, should anything else occur to you Mrs Grey, please call us right away."

"Of course" I smile "Goodbye Detective Clarke"

Christian shows him to the door of the great room where Taylor meets him to accompany him out of the apartment.

Over dinner I grill Christian.

"So after I called you from the club, you got the call about Hyde getting bail?"

"No Ana. They called while I was talking to you. Taylor told me right after I got off the phone. He called Dexter but they were still in the car and called him back. I couldn't work out at the time why they were in the car and you were in the club, but I was so consumed with thoughts of Hyde being free, I didn't pursue it."

I feel myself going red again. He isn't going to forget about that in a hurry!

"Why didn't you call me back and tell me?"

"I decided to come right over to the club myself and tell you face to face.. I told Dexter but gave her instructions not to tell you. I wanted to do it. Besides we figured the risk the risk at the club so soon after his release was negligible. He would expect you to be a work and we had two of my security team on the door of the health club, which is a secure, members only club. I knew you were okay, with the girls in a private restaurant, I'd be there within half an hour myself. I didn't want to spoil your lunch with the girls until I needed to."

I can see why he didn't tell me right away, and I'm touched that he decided to come right over and tell me himself. I am relieved that he wasn't trying to keep me in the dark, he was just trying to handle it sensitively. After last time, I don't blame him.

"So when did you realize I'd gone?" I have no idea what happened after Elizabeth led me out of those patio doors.

"After 5 minutes or so Kate and Mia were worried you might be sick or something. Mia ran down to check on you and when she couldn't find you, she and Kate ran straight down to find Sawyer. Mia was just calling me when we pulled up. I knew something was wrong right away. The lady behind the desk at reception called the cops. Kate had your purse, and your blackberry wasn't in it so I just hoped to hell you had it with you so I could track you. We didn't call it. Didn't want to give away that you had it in case they hadn't found it. We got Welch onto tracking it within 10 minutes. That's when Taylor and I headed out to find you."

"But someone did call me, my phone went off when I was in the SUV."

"Yes that would be Kate, apparently…" he says, rolling his eyes and sighing... "She was inconsolable. Doesn't handle stress well that girl!"

"You found me though. Thank you"

"I did find you baby. It should never have happened. A lot of stupid mistakes that won't happen again."

"I don't like the sound of that!"

"I gotta keep you safe Ana. I would have died if he'd done anything to you."

After dinner, we go to bed. I'm exhausted by another day of doing nothing! I get change into my nightgown, clean my teeth and sit at my dressing table, brushing out the knots on my hair.

Christian comes up behind me, "may I help you with that baby?"

"Sure", I hand him my brush and he carefully starts brushing my hair in small sections, from root to tip.

"I want to go to work tomorrow" it's worth a try!

"If it were up to me you wouldn't go to work until Hyde is caught Anastasia,"

"Does that mean I can go?"

"No it does not. Thursday maybe. Not before."

"I suppose I'll need a babysitter"

"You know I don't like you calling them that Ana! And yes of course security is going to be very tight for the foreseeable. Sawyer will drive you and Dexter will accompany you at close quarters at all times when you are not at home,"

"Fabulous!" I am unable to contain my sarcasm. "You made them write reports?"

"Sweetheart, our security guys always write a report at the end of each day. It's routine. Of course if there is a serious incident, they have to make a detailed report. It's how it works."

"So… I guess by the fact you took my car keys, they …"

"Yes, you guess right Anastasia. I know you ditched them at the lights, and it doesn't take a genius to calculate how fast you must have been driving. Besides, Kate totally ratted you out when I called her earlier!"

"Kate!? I don't believe it…"

"She was so worried that the whole thing might be her fault, encouraging you to ditch security. It all just spilled out. She thought maybe Hyde followed you and got in the club before security got there. Nonsense of course, but very illuminating. It all came out… how you 'went off piste', how you lied to Dexter"

_ Shit… now I'm in trouble… and he has a dangerous weapon in his hand! _

"Now remind me Ana, what was it I said I'd do with you if you deliberately broke an important promise again?"

I raise my head and my eyes, wide open, meet his in the mirror "Oh no you don't…" I say, simultaneously standing and turning, so my behind it against the dressing table…

Christian, reaches down and takes me left wrist in his left hand, his arm crossing in front of us. I back away sideways from the dressing table. I am not scared exactly; despite his threat, I know he would not give me a serious spanking while I'm still battered and bruised, with my wrist in a brace, yellowing bruises on my body and a gash on my forehead. Christian is smiling, and he is holding the hairbrush like a table tennis paddle, suddenly he jerks my arm and I spin around just enough for him to pop me on my bottom with the back of the brush. "Ow!" I yell affronted. I pull away, protecting my vulnerable behind with my braced arm, while he keeps a firm grip around my good wrist.

"What did I say I'd do Ana?" He says and he jerks my arm once more delivering another sharp swat right on target. I break free of his grip and, giggling a little now, I dash for the bathroom. He bolts after me, and manages to swat me again sharply on my butt, then he catches my arm again and pulls me sharply so I fall against him, my chest against his abdomen. "I am pretty sure I warned you Mrs Grey, that should you break a promise to me that put your safety at risk, I would tan your behind with a hairbrush," and he emphasises his words with another gentle little pop on my behind, this one doesn't sting at all.

"Fortunately for you, I can't spank you while you're all battered and bruised even though you thoroughly _deserve_ a spanking." He kisses me softly.

"Oh well I have one thing to thank Jack Hyde for at least!" I joke, and he pops me on the ass with the hairbrush again!


	11. Chapter 11 : Ralphs Deli

By Wednesday I am going out of my tiny mind. Christian, I can tell, is preoccupied with the security situation. Jack has shown a surprising level of determination so far and I too am a little unnerved by it. Christian, does his best to behave around me as if he is totally in unfazed. I know him better though. I see the little signs and I know he is fearful.

_Thank God I am going back to work tomorrow._

"I am not entirely comfortable with you going into the office tomorrow baby" he said, trying to sound calm this morning over breakfast. "I don't like it Ana. I don't like it at all..."

"Christian, life goes on. I can't stay cooped up in here any longer." I am putting my foot down. I need a change of scene, and to feel some wind in my hair!"

"I know sweetheart, I'm just saying I don't like it."

I am not concerned. I know SIP will be more secure than the White House by the time I get there tomorrow morning.

I spend Wednesday afternoon sorting myself out for work. Christian didn't want me going out so he has arranged for an army of people to come over to Escala. I am glad of the company! A private nurse comes to check my wrist brace, cuts and bruises. She, quite unnecessarily in my opinion, changes the support bandage on my sprained ankle, which barley hurts at all anymore since I've been resting at home for nearly a week. She removes the dressing from the gash on my head, which is hardly a graze now, and she gently manipulates my wrist. It is still uncomfortable and, being my right hand, makes everything difficult!

At 2pm, Franco, my lovely and very camp Italian hairdresser stops by to treat me to a shampoo and cut. Christian is so thoughtful sometimes and it is a lovely surprise! He brings with him Stephanie, who is about my age, blonde and pretty. I am waxed, plucked, manicure and pedicured back into shape. I am not used to all this pampering, but have to admit, I enjoy it and I feel fresh and ready for the world by the time they go. I feel perky in fact, and I know Christian will appreciate the results. I decide I will cook dinner myself.

Inspired by Franco, I'm going for Itallian, spaghetti carbonara. Mrs Jones helps me out with finding most of the ingredients. I want to get some good ham for the carbonara sauce.

"Its okay, I'd like to get a breath of fresh air. I'll run down to Ralph's Deli for some. I'd like to."

Mrs Jones looks unconvinced "Mrs Grey, please let me. Mr Grey wouldn't want you going." She says, following me around the apartment as I gather my purse and jacket.

"Don't worry Mrs Jones, please, I'll be 5 minutes, and I'll handle Mr Grey"

I go out into the lobby taking out my blackberry to let Sawyer know so he can meet me downstairs. I am not so stupid as to go out alone while Jack is at large. As I head towards the elevator, Dexter comes over, almost running.

"Mrs Grey, were you planning on leaving the apartment?"

"I'm just going to run down to the Deli on the corner for some ham. I was just calling Sawyer - feel free to come with me. I won't be a moment but I'm sure Mr Grey has given you your orders."

"Um, yes ma'am, I err, I have very clear orders from Mr Grey ma'am."

"Okay, that's fine. We're just going to the store and back again, so if you are all set let's get going."

Dexter is mute and for a moment or two.

"Mrs Grey. I'm sorry but I can't let you go to the deli Ma'am" I am getting irritated with the woman. "It's fine Dexter, I know you have to stay with me, lets just..."

"No ma'am, you misunderstand. I have clear instructions from Mr Grey and I'm sorry but I can't let you leave the apartment without clearing it with him ma'am."

I am shocked, but I guess not totally surprised. Dexter looks a little embarrassed. She continues "Ma'am, Ryan, or Mrs Jones will be happy to pick up anything you need from the store."

"We'll see about that" I reply. I am furious.

I retreat to the privacy of our bedroom where I dial Christian's number. He answers right away.

"Hi baby"

"Don't you baby me Christian"

"Ana? You're upset; what's up?"

"I am not upset, I am fucking furious"

"What's happened sweetheart?"

"You Christian, you and your crazy, overprotective bullshit, that's what!"

"What are you talking about Anastasia?"

"I want to go buy some ham from Ralph's Deli down the street," I don't say anymore and wait for Christian to speak. He is silent for a moment before he responds

"No Ana. Send Gail, or one of the security guys."

"NO Christian. I want to go. It's one block away. I haven't set foot outside for nearly a week"

"Absolutely not."

"CHRISTIAN! I'm a grown up! I am not a prisoner"

"Anastasia, have I not been clear? I SAID NO"

"You can't stop me."

Christian is silent at the end of the phone, as am I. Eventually he breaks the silence, speaking in a soft measured tone.

"I'm sorry Ana. I can't let you walk to the store."

"Dexter says you gave her instructions that I am not to leave the apartment without your _'permission'_!"

"I told her to clear any proposed excursions with me, that's right. There is no need for you to leave the apartment for ham! It's an unnecessary risk."

"Actually, it is an extremely fucking necessary risk Christian, because if I don't get to go down to that store myself and breathe a bit of fresh air for 5 minutes, I will walk out of here by myself and go for a run around the city all fucking night and screw the consequences."

"damn it! -You are impossible Anastasia!"

"Damn right I am. I am going to that God damn deli, with or without security. I do NOT need your permission. You have 5 minutes to give your instructions to Dexter. Christian, for all I know Jack Hyde is waiting right outside, so I would far rather go with protection if that's okay; but _I will_ go without any security rather than feel like a prisoner in my own home. I suggest you get on the phone and brief Dexter, or I'm going without her. Have _I _been clear enough?" I hang up.

Having collected my thoughts, and picked up my purse again, I head for the elevator where Dexter and Sawyer are waiting. We travel down to street level in silence.

"Mrs Grey..." Sawyer says before we leave the building, "Please wait here for a few minutes with Dexter so I can go ahead ma'am."

I sigh and nod. I know this is a reasonable precaution but I'm irritated now - I'm only going a block! While we wait, Dexter gives me a little pep talk.

"Ma'am, you are aware that Mr Grey is very nervous about you going out into the street on foot." I roll my eyes! "We are taking no chances; there is no reason to be concerned..."

"_I'm _not concerned!" I retort sarcastically.

"... If a situation were to arise Ma'am, please just take my direction and we will get you back to Escala right away."

Jeez, I am beginning to think it wasn't worth the trouble for a carbonara sauce! But it isn't about the sauce, I need to get a grip of Christian's overprotective overdrive before I rejoin the real world tomorrow!

We go out into the street and it is fantastic to feel a bit of whether on my face! It is not a cold day, but is a little overcast and there is a breeze in the air. We walk up to the store. Sawyer is inside and as we come up to the entrance of Ralphs; he comes out and stands near the door. I notice Ryan park up in a black SUV next to the curb just around the corner, engine running. _This is ridiculous! _I think to myself.

Ralph's Grocery and Deli is a great little store. Mrs Jones does all of our grocery shopping so I rarely go to a grocery store. I'm like a kid in a candy shop! I get the ham, and a large piece of Cambazola, a soft blue cheese that I know Christian likes. I also get some French coffee beans, some exotic looking salad leaves and a tub of ice cream. Vanilla.

We walk home, Sawyer a little way ahead, Dexter just behind, and Ryan no doubt following behind somewhere in the SUV. I can't resist an unscheduled stop to peer in the window of the bakery down the street! I do it just to annoy Dexter really. I decide to pick up a baguette and dart In through the bakery door before she can voice her objection. I giggle to myself as I imagine her panicked reactions.

Having got my bread, and a latte to go, I glance outside as I wait for my change. Dexter is standing outside stock still while, Sawyer who has rejoined her is speaking urgently to her. I feel a slight pang of guilt - it looks like he is giving her a dressing down. I turn to leave and almost bump straight into the back of a tall man who has his back to me. He is wearing a baseball cap and as I look up I notice his ponytail and pierced ear. My blood runs cold and I freeze... _Jack Hyde. _I am rooted to the spot and my Latte, which I am holding in my injured right hand, falls from my grip and explodes on the floor all over the back of the mansjeans. He spins around furiously...

"Shit..." He says angrily coffee splattered up his leg. It's not Jack, it is NOT Jack- just some poor guy who now has my latte all over his jeans.

"I'm so sorry..." I say, grabbing some paper napkins from the counter and trying to wipe up the mess. "Just leave it" he snaps...

There is a lump in my throat and my eyes well with tears; I rush out into the street, and hurry towards home. Sawyer and Dexter follow close behind. Sawyer hurry's a little to catch up with me as I rush down the sidewalk towards Escala. "Mrs Grey, is everything alright Ma'am?" "Yes, thank you Sawyer. I just need to get home."

I drop the bags on the kitchen counter and run off to the bathroom. I splash cold water on my face and try to pull myself together. When I go back into the Kitchen, Mrs Jones is putting the ice cream away. "Are you OK Ana?" she asks kindly. "Yes I'm fine, I'd better get started on dinner!"

"Do you need any help or perhaps a cup of tea?"

"No Mrs Jones. Thank you so much, but I'm fine. Please, you go relax now. I can take it from here."

While I cook, I think. I can't be mad with Christian. I'm mad with myself. I have no idea why I always have to push at the edges but I can't seem to stop myself. It is stupid. I'm no adrenalin junkie, no risk taker! I am a slightly clutzy girl who can't take no for an answer! That is probably a legacy from my Moms disastrous husband number three, the one we don't talk about. We don't talk about him for good reason, and I am not going to waste a moment of my life thinking about him either.

No, _I'm_ the problem... I'm stubborn. We are not talking cliff diving or swimming with sharks- but the risks for me are different now. Besides, I'm married to a control freak; I know he can't help being a control freak. I wonder how mad he is with me? I know Kate would think I'm a total masochist if she knew he spanks me when I defy him, and maybe I am but I love my control freak and right now, if he wanted to haul me over his knee and spank the living daylights out of me, I think I'd let him. I scared myself stupid just now, I know I scare Christian stupid all the time. Compromise; that's what I need to work on. As I cook, beating myself up, tears fall from my eyes.

The water is boiling for the spaghetti but I'm not going to put it in until Christian is home. Just as that thought enters my head, I feel an arm snake around my waist. I jump, then I turn to face him and enthusiastically fling my arms around his neck kissing him like I haven't seen him for a week!

"Hi baby. What's up?" He asks, pulling away a moment to he can see my face. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and taking my face in his hands, wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry I was so mad."

"Ana it's okay, and it is me that needs to apologise. You were right, and I'm so sorry I made you feel like a prisoner. It's my job to make you safe, not to keep you locked up. You go wherever you want whenever you want, that's why we have security." He kisses me and smiles, "Now why all those tears?" he says, looking into my eyes with concern.

"I had a scare."

"What scare?" I am mute for a moment... "Ana - tell me" he continues, a little stern.

"On the way home from the Deli I stepped into the bakery and... I thought I saw Jack." I feel Christian tense "It was just a guy, wasn't him but it scared me and I dropped coffee all over the poor guys legs. I made a fool of myself."

Christian smiles "It wasn't funny Christian!"

"I'm sorry, it's not funny; I know it's not funny. I'll bet Dexter and Sawyer had a coronary?" He is still smirking a little

"Why are you laughing at me? I was scared!"

"I'm laughing because you are so cute. You get mad as hell about going out, then go out of your way to piss Dexter off just because you can..."

"I didn't want to piss her off!..." I say defensively,

"Oh yes you did Ana... I expect that is exactly what you wanted to do." I hate it when he does that! He knows me far too well.

"Why aren't you mad with me Christian? I thought you'd be furious."

"Because you made your point very well on the phone. I was livid when you put the phone down on me but we won't let that bastard Hyde interfere with our lives any more than he has already. And if you want to annoy Dexter for entertainment, as long as you let her so her job, you go ahead and get your kicks where you can. I'll be reprimanding both of them for letting you scare yourself like that. Dexter should have been right there to prevent that. I'm sorry you got scared. That makes me mad, mad at Hyde not at you."

"So how are those twitchy palms of yours doing?"

"Baby my palms rarely stop twitching where you are concerned! But your rear end is safe for now, unless of course you decide to go on that run around the city by yourself..." I'm a little surprised to feel a pang of disappointment

"Well, I might just have to go and get my running shoes..." I tease, suggestively.

"You _want_ me to spank you?" I smile, blush and bite on my bottom lip in that way I know he can't resist, my answer written all over my face.

"Well, we aim to please Mrs Grey! Lets eat first"

"You go get changed. I'll put the spaghetti on."

Dinner isn't half bad even though I say so myself! I was right to go out and get that ham. When we've finished, Christian has to do a little work for a couple of hours. He is still on catch up after the excitement of last week. He pats me on my behind, whispering promises of later, before he disappears into his study. I sort out my clothes for work tomorrow. I have to wear flats because of my ankle, and go for a pants suit with long arms on the jacket to conceal the brace on my arm a little. When I'm done I settle down in the library with a copy of 'women in love' by D.H. Lawrence. I am barely past page three when I fall asleep.

I'm at the bakery, but it isn't a bakery once I get through the door, it's SIP, and sitting in my chair, at my desk is the guy I covered in coffee. He is angry. When I try to apologise, he isn't that guy anymore, he is Jack Hyde. I can't run, and when I try to scream, no noise comes. Dexter is barring the door. Jack approaches me and pushes me down into the chair. Christian, all I can think of is Christian, where is he, I need him, I love him. He will never know I how much I love him. I feel something against my temple. It metal, it is cold, and I am sure it is a gun. I close my eyes and wait for Hyde to pull the trigger...

I wake with a jolt shouting Christian's name. Another nightmare. I realize it's a dream straight away, but my face is wet with tears. I wipe my eyes and head out of the library to find my husband. Before I reach the door he is here...

"Ana, are you okay?" he says checking over my head to satisfy himself there is nobody else in the room.

"It was a bad dream" mustering the most matter of fact tone I can manage "I must of dropped off while I was reading. Maybe the cheese made me dream?"

He looks unconvinced. He always knows when I'm upset. He pulls me into a comforting embrace, kissing the top of my head protectively.

Abruptly, he releases me, takes my left hand and pulls me with him out of the library, towards out bedroom. "I think you need to be distracted Mrs Grey..." he announces with determination, "and I believe I owe you a spanking!"

I giggle expectantly as he pulls me into our bedroom and closes the door behind us.


	12. Chapter 12 : Floral Tributes

I wake early. It isn't quite light. I open my eyes and Christian is propped up next to me. He has been watching me sleep again. "Hi" I say, stretching. He frowns.

"What is it Christian?"

"I'm worried about you. I don't think you are ready to go to work yet."

I pull the duvet over my face in exasperation

"Aggghhh! Stop it Christian! I am FINE." He sighs.

"You had bad dreams again."

"Well going back to work with give me something else to think about won't it. Sitting around here all day is unhealthy. I'm just brooding all the time. I am going to work!"

He pauses before answering. "Ok baby. But I'd like to take you to go see Dr. Flynn."

"I'm fine Christian! Or I will be once I've got something else to think about." I pout, infuriated.

"Humour me!" he replies, kissing me and leaping out of bed

We shower, dress and head out into the great room for breakfast. I have granola and a cup of English breakfast tea. We have our usual dance over weather a bowl of granola is an adequate breakfast and it is a relief to be bickering about something so normal for a change!

In the car on the way over to SIP Christian seems pensive.

"What's up Christian? Spit it out!" I know there is something. He looks over at me, raising his eyebrows and furrowing his brow.

"I don't want you to be mad Ana. I've made a few organisational changes while you've been off."

I do not like the sound of this. I say nothing. I glare at him.

"We were concerned about Hyde's willingness to exploit... weaknesses in the organisation."

"Go on..." I coax

"We've moved a few people around. In the years Jack Hyde worked at SIP, he was careful to give himself plenty of leverage with the people he worked with - like Elizabeth Morgan. There are still a few people working at SIP who, we have reason to suspect, may consider it in their interest to... act on his behalf should he apply a little pressure."

"You've fired people?" I am outraged

"No, calm down Ana. Nobody's been fired. We've redeployed several employees within the wider organisation. One lady, Stephanie Craig, who worked as a proof reader decided to take a generous package instead and I understand has decided to set herself up work freelance from home."

"Well everyone is just going to just love me aren't they?" I spit sarcastically.

"Nobody knows that it has anything to do with you. We can't have people working in the building if Hyde has something on them. Not while we don't know where he is anyway."

When I get into the office my desk is groaning under a weeks worth of unread correspondence and manuscripts. At 9.30, Hannah comes in with a delivery of gorgeous flowers - white Gardenias. There must be 30 at least! The card says simply 'Welcome back. I love you. CG x'

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Hot house flowers

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 9.36pm

**To:** Christian Grey

They are beautiful. I'm glad to be back. Thank you.

I love you too

A x

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** My pleasure

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 9.39am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Don't work too hard.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Never

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 9.42am

**To:** Christian Grey

No such thing as 'too hard'. You should know that Mr Grey!

A xxx ;D

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Behave

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 9.48am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Mrs Grey, control yourself or I will have to instigate disciplinary action.

I'm sure I don't need to remind you to use your Blackberry if you are going to misbehave on email!

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Behaving

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 9.51am

**To:** Christian Grey

See how obedient I am! Even though it's tricky with my wrist, Blackberry from now on - I promise.

I am going to visit with Dad at lunch time. Just thought you'd want to know.

Ana x

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Calm & Collected

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 10.11am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

See how calm I am - I barely even flinched at news of your lunchtime excursion! I love that wrist; take care if it.

I have briefed Sawyer; he will drive you. Hospitals are busy places; promise to take care & STAY WITH DEXTER. She knows what she is doing.

That is an order Anastasia.

Give my best to Ray

Christian Grey

Unflappable CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

At 10.30. more flowers arrive. This time roses in soft pinks and ivory. They are from Kate, Mia and Elliot. I am so touched. I fire off thank you emails straight away.

I have so much to do, the morning flies past. I just want to finish sorting through the mail before heading out to meet Sawyer. I call Hannah to come in for a moment. If I'm going to get through this mail I need a little favour... "Hannah I hate to ask, but I just need to get through the last of this mail before I head out. Are you going out to get some lunch from the deli?"

"I was going to go get a coffee and a sandwich.. Why? Do you need something Ana?"

"If you don't mind, could I give you some cash and could you get a couple of begels or something for me to take over to the hospital? Something for dad and me to have for lunch?"

"Of course Ana. I'll go now."

"Thanks hannah, You are a life saver. please, let me pay for your lunch too. Get whatever you want." I give her a fifty dollar bill.

As I get towards the bottom of the stack of unopened mail I get to a letter with no stamp. The address is hand written. I recognise the writing straight away and it's like my stomach has fallen through the floor. I go cold all over. _What should I do? What should I do?_ I carefully open the envelope and take out the note inside. It is in the same handwriting, on a scrappy peice of lined paper that looks like it's been torn out of a childs note book.

_'He won't want you once I've had you. It's just a matter of time Ana. Jack'_

I think I'm going to throw up.

Hannah arrives back and cheerfully hands me a paper bag with the lunch she got me and dad, with my change. "Are you okay Ana? You look kind of pale."

"Um, yeah. I'm okay. I just... I've got to call Christian."

Hannah leaves my office, closing the door behind her. I dial Christian's number. _What will I say? _He picks up right away.

"Hi baby, what can I do for you?"

"Christian, I um, I don't want you to go off at the deep end ..."

"Deep end about what? What's happened?... Tell me"

"I got a letter. Delivered by hand I think. No stamp anyway. It's from Jack"

As I say his name I loose it. A knot forms in my throat, my face screws up as I try to hold back sobs but I am struggling against a strong tide and weep silently, my in breaths catching in my throat as I breath in. I am overwhelmed. I can hear Christian with his hand over the mouthpiece of his phone yelling at Andrea to get Taylor to bring the car round. I can hear in his voice that he is already striding through his office - on his way to meet Taylor I guess.

"Anastasia, baby, calm down. Stay where you are. I'm my way over."

I can barely manage to speak through my tears... "But Daddy... he'll be waiting... he'll be worried..."

"I'll call the hospital and tell them to let Ray know you'll be a little late. Stay where you are. I'll be there right away."

I try to pull myself together while I'm waiting. I shut my eyes, breath in and out slowly; chew on my lip, trying to suppress that unwelcome lump In my throat.

It seems just moments before I sense his arrival. When Christian comes to SIP he creates a certain atmosphere. He strides through the office purposefully, like a yacht through the ocean, while people stand, stare, fuss and bluster in his wake. He always makes a stir. Well he is the big boss I guess, and there is the 'Christian Grey factor', that makes women swoon in his presence! I can sense that atmosphere outside my office now. A moment later, he bursts in.

"Come here baby" he says arms open. He takes me in his arms and just the smell of him sooths me.

"Where's the letter Ana?"

I point to the letter still on my desk. He picks it up by the corners and reads it. I notice him tense, but otherwise there is no visible reaction. He hands the note to Taylor then steps over to the door of my office.

"Hannah, would you step in here for a moment please?"

"Sure Mr Grey" Hannah comes in nervously "Is everything okay?" she asks. She's frightened. Sensing her nerves Christian smiles at her.

"It's okay Hannah. I just wanted to ask you about Mrs Grey's mail. Did you put it on her desk as it arrived?"

"Yes Mr Grey. When it came up each day I just put it on the pile."

"So I guess the bottom of the pile would have arrived Friday or Monday"

"Yes sir. I wasn't here Friday. I had the day off to go see my parents in Sacramento. The stuff on the bottom would have reached my desk Friday or Monday and I put it on Mrs Grey's desk Monday Morning. Is there a problem?"

"No Hannah. You've been very helpful. Thank you."

I notice Christian shoot Taylor a knowing look. He turns to me, a big smile painted on his face "Is this your lunch?" he asks pointing at the bag with the bagels. I nod and he picks up the bag. "Taylor is going to stay here with Welch and call the cops. I am taking you for lunch with your dad at the hospital! Come on, lets get out of here." He takes my hand and pulls me behind him out of the office. Dexter, who is standing outside my office like a sentry, follows. As we pass through the lobby, I see Welch arrive. Christian acknowledges him with just a nod as we pass. Sawyer is waiting in the SUV right outside. Christian herds me into the back of the car with this hand on the small of my back, getting in behind me, Dexter getting in the front passenger door next to Sawyer.

We speed off to the hospital.

"You okay Ana?" Christian asks with real concern.

"I'm fine. It was just a shock. Thanks for coming over, you didn't need to."

"Of course I did baby."

"He must have been to SIP Christian, that letter has no stamp on it. He must have delivered it by hand."

"If he'd come anywhere near SIP security would have picked him up. He's been nowhere near the place I promise. My guess is he got someone who works for SIP to bring the letter in for him before we got a grip of the reorganisation. This is exactly the reason we've moved some people out of there. It can't happen again."

I can't feel as confident about that as Christian. I know Hyde. I know how much he wants to get to me. I know my expression reflects my concern. "Don't waste your energy thinking about that letter. Hyde is just a bully. Let's go see your dad."

Dad and I share our bagels while Christian sips a coffee. We chat. "Sweetheart, should you be working with your right hand in a cast? How the hell do you write anything down?" Dad fusses. "It's not a cast, it's a brace, and I can type okay. I can even write a bit but not for too long. Most of my job is reading and talking on the phone anyway Dad."

"Just promise me you won't overdo it Ana... Did my flowers arrive?"

"Aww not you too? You shouldn't have. No they haven't come yet, but thanks anyway, that's really sweet of you Daddy."

On the way back to SIP Christian is on directing his empire on his Blackberry, calling his office, then my boss. I half listen, staring out into the Seattle lunch time traffic.

"Andrea, I want you to send the two files on my desk over to SIP right away for my attention... Not till tomorrow... I email the extension when I have it... In the morning."

"Roach, it's Grey. I will be working from SIP this afternoon. I need to organise a room who do I need to talk to? ... The board room is fine... Get site services on it."

"You are working from SIP this afternoon?" I ask a little suspicious of his motives.

"Don't panic. I won't bother you. I needed to meet with Roach anyway and the police want to come down this afternoon so I need to be there. There is no point in going back to Grey House today."

"You'd better _not _bother me. I have a stack of manuscripts to look over."

When we get back to SIP Hannah is putting a little posy of yellow and white roses, daisies and chrysanthemums. It's sweet and I know straight away it's from my dad. I text dad a quick thank you and settle down to some reading. Christian headed straight upstairs and I don't expect I'll see him until the police arrive; which they do eventually at 3.30. I text Christian then go down and greet Detectives Clarke and Williams in the lobby and bring him upstairs to my office where my boss Roach is waiting.

"Ana, I thought you'd maybe like to use the board room to meet with the officers. Mr Grey, Mr Taylor, Mr Sawyer and Mr Welch are all up there waiting for you with the letter." Dexter follows us and waits outside the room.

As I enter with Roach and the two detectives, it feels faintly ridiculous to me that one, two sentence letter has caused such a large gathering. I feel positively tiny in my flats in the room with these seven men, all over six feet tall. I can't help an entirely inappropriate giggle as I introduce those who don't know each other.

Clarke takes the letter away with him. He questions Roach about the various staff members who have been redeployed. Welch and Taylor brief the detectives on the little information they have gleaned from the post room since arriving this afternoon. Clarke reassures me that they are doing everything they can to find Hyde. As everyone leaves the room, Christian holds me back.

"Roach, you can see these gentlemen out can't you?"

Mr Roach, currently CEO of Seattle Independent Publishing, looks more than a little annoyed with Christian, but nods and accompanies the detectives out of the board room. Christian dismisses Taylor and Walsh and closes the door behind them.

"What was so funny Mrs. Grey?" He asks playfully

"I felt silly with all those men. I felt tiny!"

"You are tiny!"

"Not that tiny!"

"Yes you are! Look at you! You're a shrimp!"

"You've never complained before Mr Grey!"

"I'm not complaining now Mrs Grey! You may be a shrimp, but you're my shrimp."

"Shrimp... Hmmm. I don't like shrimp. I think I prefer gamine, or elfin, or maybe just petite."

"Are you ready to go home? I've had enough of this place."

"NO Christian I AM NOT! And you promised not to bother me. Now let me go. I've got to things to do." I turn to leave. Christian reaches over, placing his hand left on the closed door, leaning against it and effectively barring my way. He is grinning his very best all American grin.

"Is there something else Mr Grey?"

"Kiss" he almost whispers

I roll my eyes, stand in tip toe and strain my neck upwards, his lips still out of reach. He hooks me around my waist with his left arm and lifts me off the ground a few inches so I can deliver my kiss. "See... You're a little shrimp!" He teases me placing my feet back on solid ground.

As I turn to leave he takes his hand off the door he discreetly pops me on my bottom. "Give me a nudge when you're ready to go home" he calls across the office after me, as he leans, arms folded against the door frame. I head back down to my office. I can't help notice the eyes of the women on the floor darting up to take in the view of my husband, before he disappears back into the board room, closing the door. _Shrimp? Hmmm. I'll give him shrimp!_

By 5.30 I am tired and have had enough.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Nudge

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 5.34pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I'm ready when you are

A x

Petite Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** On My Way

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 5.38pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Dear Shrimpy - I'll meet you in the Lobby in 5. Taylor will drive us. I'll send Dexter with Sawyer.

Christian Grey

CEO, and crustacean lover, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I throw a few things into my briefcase, including the prospectuses for the MBA courses I requested. They were in the stack of mail I opened this morning but I haven't had a chance to open them yet.

Just then Hannah knocks and comes in with more flowers.

"Not More?" This is getting silly!

"Yeah they just came. Do you mind if I knock off Ana?"

"No sure, you go. Thanks Hannah. Oh and thanks for go getting my lunch earlier. I won't make a habit of it!"

"No problem. Night!" and she's gone.

The flowers are pink and white lilies. Stargazers I think. They are lovely with quite a strong fragrance. I quickly go to the kitchen to find a vase. I can only find a jug. I half fill it with water. I'm hurrying knowing Christian will be waiting for me. I rush back to my office, pull the cellophane off the flowers and put them in the jug, as well as I can. There is little envelope taped to the cellophane wrap now in the trash can. I'm bending over, rummaging in the trash to pull the card off just as Christian comes through the door. He slaps me hard on the ass.

"Ana what are you doing up here? Taylor is waiting. Come on!" He looks annoyed.

Christian hurries me along, picking up my purse and briefcase and grabbing my left hand and pulling me out of my office behind him before I can open the card which I am clutching in my right.

"Christian, for Gods sake; what's the hurry? Stop pulling me around like a rag doll!"

"What's the point of having a little shrimp for wife if you can't throw her around like a rag doll now and again?" Christian retorts without breaking his step.

We reach the car waiting outside SIP, Christian hands my purse and briefcase to Taylor and once again herds me in, popping me on my ass AGAIN!

"Enough with the constant ass slapping Christian!" I can hide my irritation no longer as he climbs in behind me... "I'm at work!"

"You call that a slap? I'll show you a slap!" I blush "...and you're not at work anymore. Besides, I rather thought you enjoyed me slapping your ass!"

"Yes, well, there is a time and a place. This is NOT IT. It's not appropriate, and it's patronizing and you've popped me on the ass about a hundred times today!"

"Well lucky for you I'm not here very often baby, because I'm afraid I just can't resist slapping that gorgeous, gamine little ass of yours! What can I say? I'm an ass man!"

I am irritated and am not really listening while he witters on. I rip open the envelope containing the card that came with the lilies.

I read the words on the card.

My face goes blank. My hand drops into my lap. I feel by brow furrow and the blood drain from my head.

"Ana, what's that?" He takes the card from my hand deadly serious all of a sudden. I remain expressionless. He reads the message on the card...

'I'm watching. I WILL have you. JH'


	13. Chapter 13 - New Contract

"Taylor, turn around." Christian orders. Oh shit... what is he going to do now.

"Where are we going?" I ask, half in a daze. Taylor turns and we head back the way we came.

"Just pull up here Taylor. Ana, stay in the car" We're outside SIP again.

"Christian? What are you doing?"

"I'll be two minutes Ana. Stay here."

"But... It's my office... can't I come with you?"

"No." He opens the door of the car and gets out onto the sidewalk.

"What are you going to do Christian?" I say, shimmying across the seat towards the door as if to follow him.

"Anastasia, stay in the car." He raises a finger to emphasise the point before he slams the door shut and disappears inside the building.

We wait in silence. At last I can wait no longer. I open the door "Sorry Taylor" I yell in the direction of the driver's seat as I jump down from the car and run into the building. I hear him call after me urgently "Mrs Grey, ma'am!... SHIT!" as I disappear in through the doors and through the lobby. I head straight up to my office.

I find Christian outside my office, jug of lilies in one hand, my office trash can with the cellophane wrapping from the flowers still in it, in the other. He is talking angrily to our site services manager, Gillian Baker, pushing the jug and trash can into her arms, spilling water onto the floor as he does so. As I cross the floor towards to him I can hear his words, his tone furious "... I don't care, just get rid of them. This can't happen again! I need those controls in place by tomorrow morning". A contrite Gillian turns to leave struggling with the trash can in one arm and the jug of lilies in the other. Christian calls after her "And I want that protocol in my inbox before 7pm tonight."

"Christian, you can't talk to Gillian like that it's not her fault!"... Christian turns to face me. As I try to berate him I notice he isn't looking at me but is looking over my head to whoever is behind me. As I speak, I hear Taylor's voice coming up behind me,

"I'm sorry Mr Grey, I tried to stop her Sir"

"Christian!" I call out again trying to get his attention.

"It's okay Taylor". Christian replies, ignoring me. I am standing right in front of him now, my hands on my hips. At last he looks down into my challenging expression. His face softens. "I told you to stay in the car Ana." He says, a faint smile creeping in.

"Of course I wasn't going to stay in the car when you burst all guns blazing into MY office without a word of explanation. You can't talk to Gillian like that Christian! I'm mortified! The flowers are not her fault!"

"Ana, those flowers should not have reached your desk." He is serious again, "And if you are going to come back tomorrow, I couldn't have you come in to find them still on your desk."

"_If _I'm going to come back?! Of course I'm coming back!"

"Okay Ana, I'm not arguing with you about it. Come on, I'm taking you home."

"But Christian... I want to know what you were saying to Gillian!"

"We can talk in the car. Come. We're going."

He takes my hand, turns and leads me out of the building, Taylor going ahead. On our way out we pass Gillian heading back to my office with an empty trash can and jug.

"7pm Ms Baker" Christian says as he passes her, without even looking in her direction. "Will do Mr Grey. Goodnight Sir, Mrs Grey" she calls after us. We are out of the building before I get a chance to say goodnight.

Once we are in the car, I sit, and fix Christian with a stare, arms folded in front of me. I want him to explain exactly what he said to Gillian.

"What?" he asks feigning innocence.

"You know what... What was that all about?"

"Ana, it is really just common sense. After the letter earlier today, everything that comes into SIP for your attention is to be checked. Welch and Taylor briefed the mail room and site services this afternoon. They have fallen at the first hurdle. I demand better of my staff."

"It wasn't Gillian's fault!"

"Yes it was. She was in the meeting this afternoon and that delivery should have been checked before it got near you. It's not good enough."

"But Christian, you can't just go around yelling at..."

"Yes Anastasia..." he interrupts me "... I can. It's my company and you are my wife and what I say goes."

_Oh my Fifty_... some things don't change! I cannot help a smile creeping onto my face at his words. My irritation washed a way by my husband's un-dented megalomania!

"What you say goes huh Christian?"

"You better believe it baby!" he says, his face splitting into a grin. "Now I want to get you home and fed. A bowl of granola and bagel is not enough to keep my girl going."

I quite deliberately roll my eyes.

"Oh dear Ana, I thought you were complaining about my slapping your ass too much and now you're just plain asking for it!"

I know all this banter is Christian's way of distracting me from the horror of what has happened today. I know he is concerned. More than concerned.

"Christian, can't we go out for dinner tonight. I feel like we need to loosen up a bit."

"Not tonight." I hurumph and fold my arms in front of myself. "You're tired Ana and we don't have time to make the necessary security arrangements. We are have to be on really tight security now Ana, till we nail that bastard Hyde."

I can't help pout a little, but I do understand. "I know Christian. I fucking hate this situation."

"You and me both baby."

We get home and Mrs Jones has some delicious salmon steaks ready for us, with spinach, puy lentils and jasmine rice. I've never had lentils like this before and they are really good. It is just what I needed, not too heavy.

As we finish up our dinner, I have an idea...

"Can we go out tomorrow night Christian? After work?"

He say's nothing, just narrows his eyes and looks at me as he considers his response. "Somewhere I can let my hair down a little. A bar. I'll invite Claire from work, and Hannah; and Kate..." At the mention of Kate's name he folds his arms and, his right hand stroking his chin, sits back in his seat. After a moment he gets out of his seat, picking up his wine glass and saunters over to the couch. I follow him, in determined persuasion mode now.

"Elliot can meet us there after he knocks off." I notices Christian has taken his Blackberry out of his pocket. He seems to be checking his texts! "I could call Mia and Ethan too, make it a Friday night party..."

I think he's texting someone! Now I'm getting mad... he could at least pretend to listen! "I'd really like to have a drink and relax with friends. Feel normal. We could come back here and eat after so as not to overstretch security? Come on... you can make anything happen! Please? ... Hey! Grey! Are you even listening to me?" I lash out, reaching for his Blackberry. I want to prise it out of his hand and stamp on it! He pulls it out of reach holding it above his head, grinning at me, and before I can stamp on his toe, I hear Taylor clear his throat behind me.

I turn, "That was quick Taylor thank you" Of, shit, he was texting Taylor!

"My wife and I would like to arrange a little get together tomorrow night. It's going to need a little management your end I'm afraid. We need to secure a bar from approximately 5.30pm."

"I understand Sir. Can I ask which bar you want us to hire?" _Hire? I don't want us sitting in an empty bar! That's not normal AT ALL!_

"No Christian, not hire please... I just want to go to a normal bar" Christian looks at me and smiles. "Taylor..." he continues, "... I want you to find a nice bar, where we can get a decent cocktail, not far from Escala, that can be reasonably secure for my wife and I to entertain a few friends for a few hours. We don't want to hire it but you will need to talk to their security and make whatever special arrangements you have to. Can that be done?"

"No problem Sir"

Taylor leaves and I wrap my arms around Christian's neck. "I thought you'd say no"

"I told you Ana, we have security to enable us to live our lives. What is the point in having money if we can't go out and spend some of it on a cocktail when we feel like it.?

"I'll go call everyone!" And I turn to go get my Blackberry. Christian grabs my arm

"Not so fast Mrs Grey! You're tired. You had a hard day and your mood has been swinging like a pendulum since I picked you up from work. It's time for bed."

"Oh for God's sake I'm not going to bed now! It's 8.45! And I need to call Kate and the others about tomorrow!"

"No Ana. I'll email Elliot, Kate and Mia. You can ask the girls from work in the morning. You need to rest, especially if you are going out tomorrow. This time last week you were in the hospital with pints of poison in your system. You need an early night"

"No I don't!"

"You do if I say you do. Bed" You know, I really can't be bothered to argue! I am over the moon to be going out tomorrow, like a regular girl again on a regular Friday.

I wake to Christian's whisper. "Wake up sleepy head, it's 7.30, time to get up" _What?_ It can't be! Last thing I remember it was 9pm and I was reading in bed. But as I prise my eyes open I see it is morning and Christian is showered already. He places the softest of kisses on my forehead.

"You were asleep almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. I told you, you were tired."

"What day is it?" I say yawning. I haven't got a grip on today yet. Christian smirks... "It's Friday, come on, shake a leg!" he puts his hands around my waist and tickles without mercy. Straight away I grab his hands and try to wrench myself from his strong grip, flailing my legs, wriggling my upper body and giggling until I can't catch my breath. He releases me and I lay smiling and gasping in the ruffled bedding my braced arm lying across my tummy.

He smiles down at me, a smile I recognise, full of desire. He climbs on top of me and with his finger, sweeps several tendrils of loose hair behind my ears, one by one. He kisses my lips, so soft, then pulls my bottom lip into his mouth, taking it between his teeth and oh so gently, biting, sending a shiver right down my spine. I feel a longing deep inside. His hand travels down between my belly and his, skimming my camisole. He gently slides his fingers into my silk panties and buries them inside me. Feeling my response, ready as always, he withdraws his fingers and pulls my panties to one side to expose my sex. He wastes no time easing his length into me. Slowly, gently, rhythmically he fills me, never taking his lips from mine. Carried away on a tide of carnal desire, he picks up his pace. On and on he pushes me ever higher. Our lips part in the same moment as we near climax. He lets out a sigh, rearing up like a stallion as we both reach our peak, like the crest of a wave, then we fall back on the bed. _What a wake up call!_

Over breakfast we discuss plans. Christian called the others last night. Mia and Ethan can't make it but Kate is coming right after work and Elliott thinks he'll be there by 7. We still don't know where exactly we are going but Christian reassures me that we'll know by lunch time.

The SUV drops me at SIP and I skip into the office with a spring in my step. Of course Sawyers SUV pulls up right behind and Dexter follows close behind me, but not even her waddle can cramp my style this morning.

As I pass the reception desk I invite Claire to come join us tonight, and tell her to invite anyone else she likes. I ignore Dexter's expression when she winces at my invitation! I tell her I've forgotten the name of the bar, she doesn't need to know the gory details of security measures I have to endure when you are Mrs Christian Grey! I'll email her later to tell her which bar we're going to.

Hannah is already at her desk. I invite her to come out as well, but she seems more worried about where the lilies have gone. I lie, telling her the smell of lilies makes me nauseous and I sent them on to a friend in accounts.

The morning passes slowly as I wade through the backlog of emails and memos. The only bright spots coming with the occasional ping of my blackberry.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Kiss me

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 9.26am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Missing your kisses x

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Kisses

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 9.29am

**To:** Christian Grey

I have plenty more where those came from

Ana x x x

**From:** Kate Kavanagh

**Subject:** Probation

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 10.03am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Hi stranger

I can't believe Mr Moneybags is letting you out to play. How did you persuade him...? no wait, I don't want to know!

I have been given strict instructions to behave. LOL!

So... where we going? I can get off at 5, how about you?

Kate x J

Katherine Kavanagh

Seattle Times

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Overexcited

**Date: **September 23rd 2011 10.10am

**To:** Kate Kavanagh

Hi Kate,

I can't wait. I should be able to get off by 5 no problem. I can't wait... Did I mention that already?

FYI Christian took very little persuasion. Don't call him Mr Moneybags!

I have no idea where yet but will let you know ASAP

I Can't wait!

A xx

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Laters

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 12.26pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Hi Baby

Taylor has organised that we go to a bar called Rob Roy. He is briefing Sawyer now. It will be secure. Have you had lunch?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Lunch

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 12.30pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Not yet. I'll go get something later. What time will you get there?

A x

**To:** Anastasia Grey

**From:** Christian Grey**  
**

**Subject:** Lunch**  
**

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 12.33pm

You need a proper lunch Anastasia. You cannot drink on an empty stomach. Shall I get Sawyer to go get something? Tonight can be cancelled you know.

I will know if you don't eat

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Don't get your knickers in a twist

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 12.45pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I'll eat, don't worry. I have no intention of jeopardising my evening revelries!

What time will you be there?

A x

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** _Your_ knickers

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 12.56pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I'll be pulling _your_ knickers down and placing you firmly across my knee if you don't.

I should be there around 7.

I have a few things I need you to promise me Ana, first being your solemn promise that **you will eat a decent lunch**

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Rolling Eyes

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 1.11pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I am pretty sure that you know full well Sawyer just stepped by my office with a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel, a banana, a blueberry muffin and a bag of potato chips. Do you want me getting fat Mr Grey? What time will you be there?

A x

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Doting Husband

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 1.16pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I was saving you a trip to the deli.

I would love you fat or thin.

Ana, you know I'm naturally nervous about tonight. I want you safe. I NEED YOUR PROMISES on the following

1) We are going to Rob Roy and nowhere else. You will go directly there with Sawyer and Dexter.

2) Any time you need to go to the bathroom, you will allow Dexter to accompany you to the ladies room.

3) When I, or any of our security team tell you it is time to go home, you will, for once in your life be obedient.

4) Don't go crazy on the cocktails. Take it easy. I don't want you sick.

Usual rules apply for broken promises. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Christian Grey

Deadly Serious CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **promises promises

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 1.15pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I understand more than you think!

I promise.

In fact, I have a new contract for you Mr Grey. I hope you enjoy it!

_Post: Nuptial Agreement_

_Between Christian Trevellian: Grey & Anastasia Rose Grey_

_Date: __September 23rd 2011  
_

_I, Anastasia Grey, wife, lover and companion forever of Mr Christian Grey of __Seattle__, (hereafter referred to as 'my husband') **do not** agree to obey my husband. **I do however agree** that if I make him a promise I will make every attempt to keep that promise. I will therefore, never undertake a promise lightly or frivolously. _

_If I fail to keep a promise to my cherished husband, I herein give him my consent and permission to spank me as he would an errant child, with love and with the intention of instilling discipline. He may spank me with his hand or an implement appropriate in the disciplining of children (This excludes belt or cane). I agree to this because I know my husband loves me. I trust him, and I understand that giving him this will mean a great deal to him. I give him this in order to give him back the reassurance of control that he needs to feel secure. I cannot obey without question, but I can try to keep my promises because I love him._

It is a little shorter than your old contract and lacks some of the detail, but I hope you get my drift!

I love you

A x ;)

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Speechless

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 1.37pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

You never cease to amaze me. Do you mean this, or is it a joke? If you mean it I will hold you to it.

I love you more than you know

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **I do

**Date:** September 23rd 2011 1.43pm

**To:** Christian Grey

... mean it. All of it. Of course I do. Jeez I wouldn't have said all that if I hadn't thought about it. Some people would think I'm crazy, but we aren't all the same and I don't care what they think. I love you. I promise. You can spank me if I break that promise. I won't break it!

A x


	14. Chapter 14 : A Big Gift

14. Big Gift

** CHAPTER NOTES:** **_I have written the next short chapter as an explanation. This story is about what goes on between this man and woman privately. They love each other, we know this, but they have a dark side too. In the eyes of most people, the relationship is anything but equal, but their relationship develops and they feel equal in their marriage. What is right for them is unique to them. Also, just as a note, I understand objection to description of her "being spanked like a child", but Ana does not mean that he should spank her as if she is a child because she is inferior or immature or childish, she simply means, physically, don't spank me like a sub, I am not hardcore and if you must, then remember that... if it's thought of as OK for a child's discipline then you can spank me that way, nothing more._**

Oh My God, Kate would kill me if she knew what I just promised Christian! I can hear her now… _"What sort of equality do you call that? Have you lost your mind Ana? What is this 1915?"_ It a big gift I just gave Christian. I know how much it will mean to him. But it doesn't feel bad to me. He loves me. I don't like punishment, but I can take a spanking…. Hell I can get off on it when Christian delivers it! It's simple and I feel like I'm in control of this. I agree to a direct and specific promise, and if broken, I have given him permission to punish me.

Jeez, Kate would hate that I agreed to let him "spank me like a child" but all I mean is NOT like a sub, no heavy shit. No bruises, or ropes or beatings or suspension or spanking benches or whips. If a 10 year old can take it, I can! But no old school 'Tom Sawyer' shit with canes and belts either. A little spanking, with a hairbrush maybe; yeah, I can do that. It felt different when he meant it to punish me that time. Not sexy. It hurt, and it hurt my pride to, but it wasn't dreadful or agonizing either. If it helps him relax a little then it's worth it. Besides, this is my choice. It is between us and I don't care what other people think. Other people might have run the first night when they saw the red room of pain!

If it helps him believe that when I make a promise I mean it, then, hell yeah, it's worth it. He knows how much I hate the idea of punishment. He knows it means I understand how much he needs me to keep my word. He knows I wouldn't let him do it unless I knew it was a big deal. Is it fucked up?... Probably, a little bit, does that matter?... I don't think so. It is a big gift. I know that


	15. Chapter 15 : Rob Roy

At 5pm I'm ready to leave. Quickly I call Kate,

"Hi, it's me. You ready?"

"Hi Ana, sure. How long will it take you to get down there"

"Well it's nearly 5.05 now, I'm gonna round up Hannah and Claire and see if they want a ride, freshen up a little then I guess we'll be there by 5.30. Can you get there by then? I'd come and pick you up but I promised Christian we'd go straight there. Since last time, I don't want to push him!"

"Sure that's okay Ana. I've had the Christian Grey lecture! Twice in fact; from Christian and from Elliot. Christian must have chewed his ear off about security too. Honestly Ana I don't know how you stand it! I want to drop by the drug store on the way anyhow. I'm out of Advil and something tells me I'm gonna need some by tomorrow morning!"

"Okay, you getting changed?"

"I already am Ana! I got a sexy little cocktail dress from Neiman's last week and I finished up and slipped it on just before you called. You'll love it!"

"I'll see you there then."

"Laters Ana!"

"Laters."

I gather my purse, and brief case and step outside my office. "Dexter, please can you tell Sawyer to bring the car around, I'm just going to freshen up a little. I'll be ready to go in 5. Hannah?" I call over to her desk, "You wanna ride to the bar?"

"No that's okay Ana, I'm going with Claire in half an hour. We're hooking up with a couple of girlfriends of hers who she's already arranged to meet up with tonight. We're all going to come down together a little later. That's okay isn't?"

"Of course it is. See you there"

I disappear into the ladies room, and slip out of my shift dress and into my white satin skinny jeans that make me feel like Olivia Newton John in the last scene of Grease! I pull on a black Lanvin, sequin and tulle, sleeveless jersey top. It hugs my body, but with its high round neck it's not too revealing. I shove my dress in my briefcase; squeeze my feet back into my high heeled, black patent Louboutine pumps, the first time I've worn heels since I sprained my ankle. It's okay, I can balance, I can do this fine. I apply a little mascara and a slick of sheer lip gloss and I'm ready.

As I stride across the office floor I notice I attract a few admiring glances in my tight satin pants. These guys aren't used to seeing me like this. It makes me smile inside. Even with my wrist brace, I feel million dollars!

We arrive at Rob Roy at 5.30 exactly. It has an almost completely black frontage, with a couple of discreet tables and some plants behind a railing. It does not shout for attention. I notice Kate sitting at one of the tables out front. It looks like she is texting. Sawyer pulls up and I leap out, Dexter never more than a few paces behind.

"Oh Ana you're here, great, I was just going to text you! Lets go get wasted!" Kate calls over to me as I exit the SUV. Dexter's face is a picture. I know Kate is just winding her up with talk of 'getting wasted' but it makes me giggle. Kate makes me feel 22!

The bar is quite dark and very atmospheric inside. It is smaller than I imagined, small and narrow with bar stools along both the bar and the opposite wall. It has a traditional, old fashioned feel, but when you look closer at the detail you can see amusing little twists and quirks. A lamp made from the hoof of a cow, an old copper still, a bookcase crammed with books, a reel to reel tape machine and other assorted oddities. It feels a little like an eccentric English gentleman's drawing room, except for the bar of course. I imagine it's size and the fact it is narrow appealed to Taylor, not to many faces, impossible for me Christian to get swamped in a crowd. I am surprised when we are shown to a table right at the front of the bar, in the window, with leather couches and chairs. I would have expected Taylor to want us tucked away safe at the back. Then I realise all the windows are tinted so we can't we seen from the street in any case. I guess being close to the exit is the thinking. It is no hardship of course. It is by far the best spot in the place. Taylor's choice is a good one. Rob Roy must also be no more than two minutes drive from Escala and parking right outside the front; I am not more then the width of the sidewalk away from the car.

There are a few people there, the local post work crowd I imagine. The bar stretches almost the whole length of the room save the very front where we are seated. There is a security guy on the door, Sawyer in the car and Dexter sitting just behind our table on a bar stool. Kate and I can't stop ourselves laughing at her a little. She looks so funny. She is obviously trying to fit in wearing a pair of a little too tight navy blue slacks and a grey blue turtleneck. She is wearing a pair of dark brown boots with a small wedge heel and her usual severe, scraped back hair.

"Do you think she's ever seen a man naked?" Kate asks through snorts of laughter... "I doubt it. Do you think any man has ever seen _her_ naked?"

We order a 'Gunpowder Punch' and a 'Jungle Bird' which slip down very easily. We order another round and this time, also order a selection of olives and canapés. As we finish out second cocktail, we are really getting into the swing of it. It is just after 6pm and in walk Hannah and Claire with their friends. I recognise one of the girls straight away... _shit_, I flush scarlet. It is Stephanie Craig, the girl who Christian paid off to leave SIP earlier this week. _What the fuck should I say to her? Should I apologise?_

"Hi Hannah, Claire."

"Hi Ana..." Claire says enthusiastically, "This is Samantha, we went to high school together, and I think you might know Stephanie." Now everyone looks embarrassed, except Stephanie who gives me a smile that could sour milk. "Hi Samantha, I'm Ana, it's good to meet you. Stephanie, I'm so sorry if you've had a hard time this week. Can I get everyone a drink. Please, just order on my tab, and we have some nibbles coming, just help yourself." The girls busy themselves with the cocktail menu, and as the canapés arrive I steel a moment to talk to Kate.

"What's with the Stephanie girl?" Kate couldn't fail to notice her poisonous glare.

"Shit Kate. Christian will go ballistic. He paid her off to leave SIP on Tuesday." "What? Why?" Kate is trying to look nonchalant but failing miserably! "It's a long story... He moved a few people around the organisation whom he thought Hyde might be able to manipulate. He wanted them out of my building basically. She wouldn't be redeployed so he paid her off. Knowing Christian, she has nothing to be sore about. He will have been overgenerous I'm sure."

"Well she sure has a bug up her ass now! I think she hates you Ana. And you need to watch Samantha."

"Why? Do you know her?" This is turning rapidly into a nightmare. "Oh yeah - She works on Seattle Nooz! She's a hack and she's ambitious. She does not have a reputation for probing, well researched journalism! I bet her mouth is watering over spending the evening with 'The Greys'!"

"Fuck Kate, what should I do?"

"Don't say anything to Samantha save small talk. Keep your distance from the Stephanie bitch and go tell Dexter to talk to Taylor about her being here, then Christian can't be mad at you at least. Then, get another cocktail, no get two, I need another drink!"

"Good plan. After the week I've had, I need to let my hair down! I'll go to the ladies room now, Dexter will follow and I'll tell her about Stephanie. You get the cocktails in."

I excuse myself, The girls start helping themselves to canapés and Kate goes to the bar. When we are in the ladies room, I explain the situation to Dexter who straight away gets on the phone to Sawyer. "Don't worry Mrs Grey, we'll handle this. You just enjoy your evening"

When I get back to our table, Kate has a tray groaning with cocktails. There must be twenty five different drinks! "Jeez Kate who are all these for?"

"Us! I didn't know what you'd want so I got a couple of everything! Help yourself!"

Well there is one advantage of having a billionaire husband! Before long we have forgotten all about the nasty bitch snow queen who is still shooting me the evil eye whenever she can. Each time I notice her, it just makes me dissolve into giggles. Every now and then she whispers urgently to Samantha. This girl has to get over herself! I know she has a right to be mad, but for Gods sake, she wasn't fired, she isn't out of pocket, I didn't do anything and she seems quite happy to sip cocktails at my expense!

After another two cocktails, Kate and I are getting really tipsy. The guy from the bar who showed us to our table when we arrived, the manager I think, comes over and has a word in Stephanie's ear. She rises and steps away from the group towards the bar and looks at him with her trademark cold stare as he delivers his mysterious message. I notice Dexter discreetly watching the scene unfold from her perch at the bar. After a moment or two, Stephanie returns to the group and air kisses Claire and Samantha. She explains that her boyfriend has left her a message and she needs to leave. She smiles her ice cold smile, thanks me through gritted teeth for the cocktails and canapés and leaves.

_Smooth Sawyer, very smooth _I think to myself. I am impressed and curious as to what the manager actually whispered to Stephanie.

My God it's only 6.45 and I am smashed. _Hell, did I promise not to get smashed? I can't remember… If I did, this is going test the new contract a little earlier than I'd planned!_ I feel a familiar tingle in my behind at the thought.

"Kate, I'm going to go freshen up before Christian gets here. You coming?"

"I think I'd better!" giggles my partner in cocktail crime.

We push through the now buzzing bar towards the ladies room, wobbling on our heels. My ankle is holding up, but only just. My ever present shadow, in the shape of Irene Dexter, follows on behind.

We both pee; Kate giggling from her cubicle the whole time. I don't know what's so funny! I come out of my cubicle to apply a coat of lip gloss and splash a little sobering water on my face. "Kate, what's so funny?" "I can't stop peeing! I'm like a horse!" and sure enough, she starts up again. Dexter is discreet, I'll give her that. She stands almost unnoticed by the door, which swings open announcing the arrival of Samantha.

"Oh Anastasia, I wondered where you and Kate had gone. It's a shame Steph had to run." She looks at me with obvious suspicion, and shoots Dexter the same poison smile Stephanie is so expert at. I know she knows that Stephanie did not leave because of her boyfriend. "Yes, it was a pity" I try to sound as genuine as I can, knowing I probably just sound tipsy!

Kate comes out of the cubicle at that moment to rescue me. "Oh Hi there Sam. How are things on the Nooz?" She asks. How does she look and sound so sober? Samantha looks mad. Perhaps she hoped I didn't know she was a journalist?

Kate and I take our cue to leave the ladies room. We almost get back to the table when I realise I've left my lip gloss and fight my way back to the ladies room to get it. As I come reach the door of the ladies room, Samantha emerges, holding my gloss. "Is this yours Ana?" She asks. "Yes, Thanks Samantha" I stow my lip gloss safely back in my purse. I am a little unsteady on my feet. "Cocktails go right to my head!" I say apologetically, all the time looking around for Dexter. When I didn't go into the ladies room, she took a seat on the other side of the bar. I know she will be watching; watching the crowd, watching me. Kate is back in her seat talking animatedly with Hannah. "Ana, Please can I get you a drink?" "Oh it's okay Sam, I have about fifteen drinks over at the table!" "How about a beer, or a Spritza maybe? It'd probably pick you up a bit and it's not nearly as strong as a cocktail." I guess a Spritza _would_ be a good idea. I know Christian will make me drink water when he gets here in any case. "Yeah, okay, a Spritza would be nice. Heavy on the soda please."

As she orders, she chats. _I have to be careful, Keep it to small talk. _I tell myself. I smile over to Dexter to reassure her I'm fine. She looks unconcerned.

Samantha hands me my drink and surprises me with a very direct line of questioning

"So Ana, I heard that your husband is violent. Is that how you broke your wrist!"

_Shit! What? How dare she!_

"What did you say?" I ask, incredulous.

"You heard. Did he beat you? Is that why you were in the hospital? Is that why you have a drink problem?"

"What the fuck!" I feel fury build instantly. _Walk away Ana, keep your cool and walk away._

Somehow, I do not know how, I keep a hold of my emotions, abandon my Spritza on the bar and turn to rejoin our group.

Kate notices straight away that I'm upset. I plaster on a broad smile as Samantha takes her seat and I pick up a cocktail and take a deliberately long sip. There is an obvious tension in the group now. Samantha sits with Claire. I don't think there is any love lost between them. I get the impression that Samantha is Stephanie's friend.

I whisper to Kate through gritted teeth "She wanted to know if Christian beat me up, and asked if I have a drink problem! Right now I want to knock her teeth out Kate!" Kate is open mouthed. "For God's sake Ana, ignore her. She just wants to get a rise out of you. She's desperate for a story!" _Oh my! I feel drunk! _I could cheerfully slap that bitch right in the face for what she said. I pick up another cocktail and sake another long sip. _Yeah, I might just go right over to her and tell her what I think of her and her bullshit. _Just as I lift my glass, my fifth or maybe even sixth I think_... No wonder I'm tipsy!_ ... It levitates out of my hand! I turn my head to see where it has gone, and there, my cocktail in his hand, is Christian, standing behind the couch Kate and I are perched on. Elliot must have arrived with him. He leans over and greets Kate with a slightly too passionate kiss.

"Hi Mrs Grey, swap you a cocktail for a kiss" he whispers. I stand up and nearly fall over as I lean over the couch towards him. He kisses me hello, and as he pulls away, he cocks his head, narrowing his eyes and smiling that smile that does not touch his eyes. "Hmmmm, just how many of these have you had?" he asks. I blush. "I forget! More than one, less than twenty one!" I smile my sweetest smile, before I fall off my heels, onto the couch and dissolve into a fit of giggles.

Christian looks divine. He is wearing a charcoal grey suit with a white linen shirt open at the collar. Elliot scoots us up on the couch so he can sit next to Kate. I notice Samantha's jaw drop. I don't know if it is Elliot, who is pretty damn hot himself, that she is reacting to, or if it is my husband, who know doubt to someone who has only ever seen pictures of him, in the flesh is more panty combusting than the girl had imagined.

Christian comes round to my side of the couch and pulls me to my feet. "I think you need a glass of water Ana." He catches the eye of the manager who, I notice now that Christian Grey has arrived, is lurking close by. Christian asks him to bring over a large bottle of still mineral water and a couple of beers for him and Elliot. Christian sits on the couch and pulls me onto his lap.

Hannah and Claire make their excuses to leave. I think they are uncomfortable around their bosses, bosses boss! I can't blame them. Christian can be intimidating at the best of times! I am disappointed to see that Samantha makes no move to join them. As we say our goodbyes, the waiter arrives with our water and beers. Christian leans around me to pour a glass. "Drink it Ana" he orders. _We've been here before! _Dutifully I drain the glass. I'm doing a great job of playing less drunk than I actually am even if I do say so myself. "Can I have a real drink now?" Once again, he narrows his eyes. "How many did you say you've had?"

"I didn't say, but three or maybe four I think." I lie. Using all my the acting skill I can summon, I continue my 'sober' plea, "Please... If you're worried because I stumbled, it's just my ankle and these stupid shoes. I shouldn't have worn them. I'm a big giddy, but I'm not drunk or anything! I promised not to go crazy remember!"

"So you did. Okay baby; one more. What do you want? I'll go get it."

"Can I have a Jungle Bird please?"

"Sure, Kate, can I get you anything?"

"Thanks Christian! Can I please have what Ana's having?" _Wow, I can't believe I got away with that!_ As Christian gets up to go to the bar, I sit back down next to Kate. We exchange astonished glances and descend into giggles again!

Just then I notice Samantha has followed Christian to the bar. What the fuck is she doing now. Fury rises in me like a tidal wave. Kate grabs my arm as I make to stand up and confront her. "Leave it Ana. Honestly, let Christian handle her!" she pleads urgently. But I can't leave it. She's talking to him about I don't know what. _She looks like she's fucking flirting!_

Buoyed up with jealousy and the confidence several cocktails give a girl, I break free of Kate's grip. I hear her stage whisper to Elliot as I straighten myself up, ready for confronting the bitch. "Shit Elliot, Ana's totally smashed. I don't like the look of this." I shoot her a glare, pick up one of the spare cocktails from the table and take a large swig for a little extra Dutch courage. As I turn to make for the bar, stumbling a little as I go, I see Christian is alone at the bar again and Samantha is returning to our group to take her seat. I go right up to her and stand just a little too close. Even in my Louboutine's, I'm still a couple of inches smaller than her, but my alcoholic bravado makes me feel 10 feet tall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing talking to my husband" I say with real vitriol. "Oh dear Anastasia, you know there are groups in Seattle. I can get you the number of AA and if I'd be more than happy to put you in touch with Women's Aid if you need some advice about... you know... the domestic violence!" and before she can take another breath I reach back and slap her as hard as I can around her smug face.

What happens next happens so fast it's hard to get a grip of. Samantha grabs my hair and I grab hers in response. I can hear Kate shouting for Christian. Suddenly Elliot has vaulted over the back of the couch and is pulling Samantha away from me one arm around her waist and on her hand trying to force her to release my hair. Almost simultaneously and out of nowhere, I feel an arm, hard as an iron bar, hook me around my waist and lift me off my feet. Another large hand grips my right hand, prising it open with his thumb. It is Christian of course. He pulls me backwards towards the wall and I watch as Elliot pushes Samantha against the opposite wall, imprisoning her with his arm. She puts here hands up in defeat, spitting accusations "That fucking bitch hit me. I just asked her a goddamn question! Everyone saw her! That fucking assault you know!"

Taylor, the bar manager and the bar security guy whisk Samantha outside. Elliot comes back over to Christian.

"Elliot, tell Dexter to get over here now, and sit with the girls and keep them here"

Christian turns to me. "Anastasia, sit down there next to Kate and don't fucking move."

Dexter comes over to Christian. "Come with me" he says to her and they both disappear outside where I can just make out the group of Samantha, the bar manager, security guy, Taylor and now Christian and Dexter. They look like they are having a conference.

As we wait, I notice that in Rob Roy, everything carries on as normal. I'm not sure how many people even noticed! It all happened so fast. I lean over to Kate. "I think I'm in big trouble Kate." "Yeah, I think you might be!" She winces. "What did that chick say to you Ana?" Elliot chimes in. I try to explain. Kate spells out that this girl is trouble. "Ana, I think I should go out and explain some of this stuff to my brother, before he locks you up and throws away the key!"

"Would you Elliot?" I ask, with a note of desperation in my voice. "Sure sis. I wouldn't want you to slap me in the face now would I?"

He steps outside. I watch as he pulls Christian and Taylor to one side. _Please Elliot, make him understand it wasn't all my fault. _My subconscious begs._ Maybe not ALL my fault, but mostly my fault, _I have to concede!

As Elliot returns, he winks at me. "You'll be okay sis. He knows she's a scumbag hack at the Nooz and he knows what they're like. He's sorting this out. There is nothing to be worried about!"

"Oh Elliot thanks!" I say flinging my arms around him. "So he's not mad at me?"

"Whoa Ana! I didn't say that... I'm not a miracle worker, but I did my best."

_Shit._

I watch as Christian then goes over to the two SUV's parked outside. The first is the one I came in; Sawyer is still at the wheel. The second is Christians. Christian leans into the first car I assume to give Sawyer his instructions. It starts up.

I decide to have one last gulp of alcohol before I have to face Christian. I pick up the nearest glass and pour the sticky, sweet liquor down my throat just as Christian then returns to the bar.

"You can put that down right now Anastasia. I think you have had more than enough to drink" I feel myself blush scarlet, but I do as I'm told. I know I've had too much to drink. Now the adrenalin has worn off, I don't feel too good.

"Kate, Sawyer is going to run you and Elliot home. Ana, we are going with Taylor. Dexter is staying making sure the other girl gets home safe. Let's go." He holds out his hand. I reach up and take it. He tugs me to my feet. I reach down to pick up my purse and let him lead me out to the waiting car, looking back over my shoulder and mouthing "bye" to Kate and Elliot.


	16. Chapter 16: Incentives

We slide into the back of the SUV. Taylor is still outside talking to the bar manager. I guess he is paying my tab. He certainly seems to be paying him something.

"Give me your feet Ana." _Well I didn't expect that! What does he want with my feet?_

"Why?" Christian takes a deep breath, clearly trying to keep a lid on his frustration. "Your feet; now Ana." I swing my legs around and obediently place my feet in his lap. He gently removes my shoes and starts manipulating my damaged ankle. "How does it feel Ana?" I look blankly back at him. "Your ankle; does it hurt? You shouldn't have worn these shoes on a sprain."

"Oh my ankle, yeah sorry. It feels fine." I'm not exactly coherent.

"And your hand?" he reaches over and takes my right hand, inspecting the palm, and massaging it with his thumb.

"It's fine. I could smack that little bitch again no trouble." I giggle and bite my bottom lip. He ignores my lip biting completely, answering sternly, "That's not funny Anastasia. And I don't know about _little_ bitch. She's six inches taller than you, twenty pounds heavier and I have no doubt she's much nastier bitch that you've ever encountered."

"I don't know… Mrs Robinson would be pretty tough act to follow" I smile up at him again, trying to tempt him out of his anger, but I can hear my self slurring my words a little. "I'm warning you, I am pissed with you; do not push your luck Anastasia. Not tonight." He releases my feet and looks straight at me with a particular stare that I recognise well. I almost shrink in his gaze. Holy shit, you don't mess with dominant Christian.

Taylor gets into the drivers seat without a word and pulls out. The world is spinning a bit and I have to squint to stop myself seeing double. I feel queasy.

"I don't feel so good Christian."

Christian opens his window a fraction and pulls me too him, rubbing my back.

"Just tell me if you think you're going to throw up will you?"

"I think I'm okay, just feel a little…. Errh..."

I close my eyes and put a hand over my mouth, concentrating hard on not throwing up.

"Do you have any idea how many cocktails you _did _drink?"

"I don't know, we had two right away, then another one, no wait, it was two. Then I think I had another, then Samantha got me a spritza but I didn't drink that. I went back and had another cocktail, but I didn't finish it, you took it. Then I think I had a few more glugs… Oh I can't remember, I didn't really count." I put my hand over my mouth again as bile rises and I only just get a grip of my urge to vomit.

"Jesus Ana, that's a crazy amount of alcohol for someone of your frame. Those cocktails are strong - your body can't handle that much alcohol. You need to know your limits and stay within them. You and Kate are impossible when you get together. You act like teenagers _every goddamn time_. I'm going to have to consider what to do about that. It can't go on."

I'm only half listening. Everything is spinning. As my head begins to loll, I rest it against my husbands arm. He sighs and puts his arm around me. I can feel his muscles tense and I can feel how furious he is underneath his more composed exterior. I rest my eyes.

The car has stopped and I'm being pulled across my seat towards the open door. I open my eyes and see Christian has my shoes in one hand. He reaches down, pulling my arm around his shoulders, and he reaches underneath me and lifts me into his arms. He carries me over to Escala; through the doors, into the lobby and over to the elevator. "I can walk Christian, please let me walk." He sets me down and holds me up at the same time. It feels like all that alcohol has reached my bloodstream at once. I'm spinning. I need to rest my eyes.

When I open them, I am being carried again; through the great room of our apartment. We keep going, through our bedroom and into the bathroom, where he sets me down on the closed toilet seat. He picks up a glass and fills it from the faucet. He crouches down in front of me and lifts my chin. "Okay?" I shake my head. I don't feel okay. He lifts the glass to my lips and as I start to drink. All at once, my body decides it cannot tolerate the alcohol in my system a moment longer. I know I am going to vomit. "I'm going to throw up" I manage blurt out, and quick as a flash Christian had pulled me off the toilet, turned me around, lifted the toilet lid and gently bent me over so my head is over the bowl. He gathers my hair behind my head in a makeshift ponytail and supports me around the hips as I grip the toilet seat and begin to wretch.

I wake in my bed. I reach over to look at the clock. As I lift my head a fraction off the pillow, I am hit with a thumping pain in my head. I squint as I try to focus on the numbers on the clock on my nightstand. 01.56.

I am disorientated. Where is Christian? What happened last night? Slowly it comes back to me. The bar, Samantha, and _oh shit -_ throwing up! Probably a good job I did though. Aside from a gargantuan headache, I feel okay. The room isn't spinning any more. I stay till for a moment, listening out for a clue as to where Christian is. After a few moments, I decide to get up. There is large plastic bucket next to the bed on my side, thankfully empty. I notice my pants and top hanging over the back of the chair in the corner of our room. I am wearing a short, silk nightdress. Oh well, it isn't the first time he's dressed me for bed while I'm unconscious.

I slide on a robe and quietly make my way to the great room. I don't know why I'm being quite really. There is no sign of Christian there so I make my way to his study. As I approach I can see the light is on. As I get closer I hear the 'tap tap tap' of the keyboard. Hesitantly I approach the door. I know I'm in trouble. I may as well find out how much.

I gently push the door open and peer around it. I stand there for a long moment, watching him. He is wearing a black t shirt. I can see his feet are bare underneath the desk.

"Hi" I say, softly. He looks up at me from his laptop. "Ana baby, you should be in bed."

"I know. I woke up. I missed you. What are you doing?"

"Drafting a note to the lawyers."

"Oh… can't it wait?"

"Not if we don't want splash coverage of your little cat fight on the front page of every tabloid by Sunday."

"Oh…"

He stands and comes around his desk and perches on the other side, facing me. He holds out his hand.

"Come here" he says, smiling slightly at the corner of his mouth. I slowly move towards him and he puts his arms around me, his hands resting on the top of my behind.

"Don't worry about it Ana. I have it under control. If she says anything we will go after her with everything we have for slander and go after any publication that touches this story with libel. Besides, all the witnesses, the bar manager, Elliot, the security guy; apparently they all saw her hit you, not the other way around." They say money talks! I guess he can do anything.

"Oh. Thank you. I guess I'm in trouble?"

"You guess right. Not so much for slapping her. I think I may need to get you some media training though. She's a shark. She knew what she wanted and she'd say just about anything she could think of to get it."

"Kate warned me."

"You made it a hell of a lot easier for her by drinking yourself stupid Anastasia."

I have no answer to this.

"What was she doing there anyway?" His voice is soft and calm.

"It was awful. Claire and Hannah brought her, and that woman you fired, Stephanie."

"Yes, Dexter told me about her; and I didn't fire her Ana. She nothing to grumble about believe me!"

"I wanted the ground to swallow me up."

"Yes, I can imagine. You did the right thing talking to Dexter right away. Maybe you should be a little more circumspect in giving out open invitations in future."

"Maybe… So you're not mad?"

"What makes you think I'm not mad?"

"You don't seem mad. You seemed furious last night."

"Well Ana, I am an expert in control you know; except where you are concerned of course. We'll talk about that tomorrow. Do you have a headache?"

"Yeah a stinker."

"You deserve it. Come on. You need to go back to bed."

"Are you coming too?" I say, as flirtatiously as I can, staring up at him through my eyelashes

"You don't get around me that easily Anastasia…" he says, and he spins me round, pushes me in front of him and smacks me firmly on my behind. As we pass the kitchen, he stops and fixes me a large glass of orange juice. Picking up the OJ and a pack of Advil he herds me into our bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and as he pops a couple of Advil from the blister pack in to my hand, hands me the OJ and watches me as I take them. "Don't you trust me to take them?" I ask, a little irritated by his micro management.

"I just want you feeling better by tomorrow"

"What's happening tomorrow?"

"You're being punished."

"What?" I almost spit my orange juice at him.

"You heard. Take your pills."

I am speechless. I don't know what to say to him. "Ana, take your pills."

I do as I'm told, then put the glass down and get into bed. "Aren't you coming to bed Christian?"

"Soon. Not yet. I have to finish that email." I can't hide my disappointment. Christian sits on the edge of the bed in the spot I occupied a few moments before. "Anastasia, did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"The email you sent me yesterday afternoon. The contract. Did you mean it?"

"Of course. I told you. I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't thought about it. I've been thinking about it since… well since last time Kate and I went out for cocktails actually."

"You said I didn't seem mad."

"Well you don't. Not like usual. You're usually stomping about, like at the bar. Like that time before. You were really mad then."

"I'm fucking furious Ana, believe me." His tone is completely calm "Getting wrecked like that is reckless, stupid, and dangerous. Then lying to me about it so you can drink even more! And brawling in a public bar... with a sleazebag journalist! I don't care how much she was asking for it - you overreacted because you were drunk. I expect more of you."

"Why so calm then?"

"I wasn't calm earlier"

"No. I noticed."

"I have control this time. That's what you've given me. A little bit of control. You promised me yesterday afternoon you wouldn't go crazy on the cocktails. You promised to take it easy."

"I know I did"

"And you knew you'd broken your promise so you lied, and tried to carry on breaking it. Before, I'd have felt helpless at your defiance. I'd feel like a shit for feeling urge to punish you. Do you understand the difference?"

"I guess so. The contract means you can punish me and … well I've already agreed to that haven't I."

"Yes." I'm quiet for a moment

"Christian… does this remind you of that first night at the Heathman? The night you rescued me from that bar?"

"The first night I slept next to you. The only other time I've held your hair while you vomit! Yes, there are certain similarities."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"If it's quick."

"You said, after that night… when you were sitting on the edge of the bed at the Heathman… in the morning…. after your shower… you know, like you are now…"

"Yes Ana, where is this going, spit it out."

"… you said… that if I was yours, I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week." I blush.

"Yes, I remember"

"At the time, I only really focused on the part where you said _'if you were mine'_, I didn't know about all the spanking and punishment and kinky fuckery back then…"

"Your point?"

"I was just curious… if I _had _been yours, what would you have done with me?"

He cocks his head. I can see he is amused by my curiosity.

"I'd have improvised. You wouldn't have liked it."

"Please Christian, tell me."

"No. Not tonight. You'll just have to use your imagination."

"And what will you do with me tomorrow?"

"Not that! Now sleep."

He stands, pulls the duvet over me and goes to leave the room. Before the goes he turns. "Ana… I love you."

I wake. Bright Fall sunshine streams through the window. Christian is not in bed, but I can see he has been here. There is a dent in his pillow and his scent lingers. I love that smell. I glance over at the clock. 10.48am. I never sleep this late. But then I never normally imbibe half a gallon of mixed spirits and sugar syrup! I sit up and swing my legs out of bed. There is a fresh glass of orange juice and another 2 Advil on my nightstand. My headache isn't so bad, so I decide to leave the Advil, but I drink the OJ.

I get up, pull my robe around me and head out into the great room to find Christian.

He is not in the great room. I guess he's in his study. Suddenly I'm starving and before going to find him, I go hunting in the fridge for something to eat. Bacon, I want bacon, and tea, and pancakes. I start whipping up a batch of batter, get out a couple of pans, put bacon in one and melt butter in the other. I pour the batter into the hot butter in 4 small pools and make myself a tea. I flip the pancakes and bacon over while I search for the maple syrup. I pile up my plate with the irresistible, hot pancakes and bacon, add butter and syrup and sit at the breakfast bar with, washing large mouthfuls of hot sweet pancakes down with gallons of tea.

As I devour another large forkful, I look up to see my husband standing watching me.

"You are obviously feeling recovered." He says, in a flat tone, giving nothing away.

I cannot answer even if I wanted to, as my mouth is full of pancake! "It's good to see you have a healthy appetite this morning." He slowly saunters into the kitchen and helps himself to coffee from the pot on the machine. I finish my mouthful, and dabbing my mouth with my napkin I venture "Do you want some pancakes? I have plenty of batter."

"No. I've eaten. You finish your breakfast… Did you take the Advil I left you?" Christian is perfectly composed. Business like almost. He is wearing jeans and a long sleeve black t-shirt. Noticing a microscopic white piece of lint on his left arm, he dexterously picks it up between his right index finger and thumb then brushes the otherwise immaculate sleeve with his hand.

"Um, no. My head is much better. I drank the OJ though."

"I want you to take the Advil. Hangovers can creep up on you. You drank a lot last night."

"I threw up a lot"

"Yes. I remember."

I carry on eating, although with a little less gusto. I must have still been a little tipsy in the middle of the night. It certainly felt a little easier.

I eat the last of my breakfast. It doesn't feel like a good idea to piss Christian off with wasted food right now. I load the dishwasher. Christian is leaning against the counter, sipping coffee in silence.

"I'm going to have a shower."

"Here…" puts his coffee cup down, turns and fills a glass with water and hands it to me. "Go take your Advil. That is not a request. We are going to have our talk when you've finished in the bathroom."

I feel everything deep inside me flip and clench simultaneously.

I go take the Advil. I go into our bathroom, carrying with me underwear to change into. I shower; a very long shower. I come out of the shower and perform every bathroom based task I can think of. I comb and blow dry, I pluck, I buff, I brush and I floss. Finally I fold my towels neatly and put them back on the towel rail. I pull on my underwear, and slip my robe back on over the top.

I have been in the bathroom the best part of an hour when I finally emerge. Christian is sitting on my dressing table chair which is facing into the room. He's leaning forward, resting his forearms on his knees, in is hands, held in front of him between his knees, he is holding a hairbrush. He is looking down at the brush, as he toys with it, patting it against his palm. I pretend not to have noticed him and keep right on walking, straight into our dressing room.

_Fuck. _I'm going to get a spanking… with a hairbrush. I flush scarlet and involuntarily clench my butt cheeks.

"Ana, what are you doing?"

"Getting dressed" jeans…. Where are my jeans. They might offer me a little protection.

"Don't bother Ana, just get out here"

"Hold on, I'll just be a minute" I hastily pull on jeans and a white t-shirt

"Now Ana." Still pulling on my t-shirt, I emerge. My cheeks are red hot. He has to be able to see me blush.

Christian is still sitting forward, arms on knees, brush in his hands. His head is upright now, looking straight at me. "Sit down on the bed. We need to talk about last night."

I do as I'm told, and sit on the edge of the bed. "You're blushing. Are you embarrassed?"

"Nervous" I reply, and as if to illustrate the point, I giggle, a little inappropriate nervous giggle just slips out. Christian sits up.

"Are you laughing Anastasia?"

"No" I reply in a tiny voice, and giggle again. "Do you think this is funny?"

"No!" and really I don't think it's funny at all, it really is just nerves, but Christian has decided this is his cue to take firm control of this situation. He stands, pulling himself up to his full height. He seems awfully tall all of a sudden. "Stand up." Tentatively I obey.

"Are you going to co-operate Ana?" he asks, quietly, calmly. "Yes… but you might have to help me" I reply. My natural urge to foot stamp and argue is suppressed somewhat by his dominant persona, in a way I've only ever managed in the playroom. Unlike the playroom though, I know this is not going to be about pleasure. I am not sure how long I'm going to be able to control myself. I concentrate hard.

Christian reaches out and takes my hand. "Don't be nervous. I love you."

He leads me over to the wall. "Face that wall Ana."

"Are you serious?"

"What do you think?" he replies, and he spanks my ass, once, hard as he turns me to face the wall.

"You're being punished. I'm going to give you a spanking. While you are being punished I expect you to be respectful. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

_Oh!_ "Yes Sir."

"That's better. Do you understand what you are being punished for"

"I think so" Christian spanks me again just once, hard. "Yes sir" I correct myself.

"You'd better tell me then Anastasia."

"Because I was stupid." Again, he spanks me hard on my butt "you are going to have to do better than that. Try again. Why are you being punished?"

"Because I broke my promise not to go crazy on the cocktails, and I lied about how many I'd had, and because I was smashed, I hit a girl in the face; on purpose."

I smirk a little at the memory of slapping Samantha, only to be rewarded with another hard slap on my behind. "Ow! That hurts Christian!"

"A spanking is supposed to hurt"

_Focus Ana… you've done this before. _

"Ana, I don't blame you for reacting to that woman's bullshit. The problem is, you over reacted because you were drunk. You were drunk because you made stupid choices despite your promise. When you promised not to co crazy, were you being insincere?"

"No Sir"

"When you were drinking were you aware you were drinking more than was sensible?"

"Yes sir."

"So Ana, when you begged me for one more drink, when you deliberately misled be about how much you'd had and how drunk you already were, did you know you were lying." I hesitate to answer, until he smacks me again, prompting my honest response. "Yes sir. I knew I was lying."

"I'm going to spank you now. Come over to the chair." Christian sits, he knees apart, on the chair where he was when I came in a few minutes ago. I follow him and stand in front of him. "You need to unbutton your jeans." I hesitate a beat… "Now Anastasia, or I'll spank you for longer." I unbutton my fly. Christian still has the hairbrush in his right hand. He hooks his fingers into my waistband and swiftly whips down my jeans and panties in one, fluid movement. "Are you going to spank me with that?" I ask nervously. "Yes" is his reply, short and to the point. He puts his hands on my hips and guides me to his right. He takes my right wrist and pulls me across his lap. My left shoulder is trapped against his left side, my left arm hanging down towards the floor. "Give me your right hand" he orders. I reach back, obediently with my right hand and he takes it and pins it to the small of my back with his left hand, holding me down firmly with his left forearm against my back.

As I try to absorb my rather undignified position, my subconscious suddenly pipes up with her unwelcome opinion – _well, you got yourself here! First you go back to him after he beats your backside with a belt, then you marry him, next you agree to let him punish you, then you go right out, drink your bodyweight in cocktails and punch someone's lights out right in front on him! _

Hmmm. I did get myself here, but apart from the imminent discomfort my ass is going to suffer, I wouldn't be anywhere else, or with anyone else. He's spanked me before, he'll no doubt spank me again. I'm going to have to man up and take my punishment.

He puts the hairbrush down on the dressing table behind him. "I thought you were going to spank me with that?" "I am Ana. After I've spanked you with this" he says patting my upturned behind with his right hand.

Before I know it I feel a sharp slap on my right buttock, followed by another on my left, then another, right again. By the sixth the cumulative effect is painful. I squeeze my eyes tight shut. I can't help but try and move my hand to protect my behind, but his grip just tightens as he feels me pull. I bend my legs and kick out a little as he continues to spank me, again and again and again. My jeans fall onto the floor as my legs writhe. Though I try to absorb the stinging blows, it becomes too hard and I begin to vocalize with a strained little "Ayy" escaping with each blow. After 12 hard smacks he stops.

He rubs my bottom for a moment, around in a circular motion.

"I'm going to spank you with the hairbrush now and it is going to hurt. Keep still. The more you move, the longer I will spank you. He adjusts my position slightly. He moves me across a little so I am draped across just his left knee, then he uses his right knee to secure me, pinning my legs. He reaches back and picks up the hairbrush.

I feel the back of the wooden brush press against the tender flesh of my behind for a moment, then it is gone. In the next fraction of a second I feel a tremendous, hot, sharp pain on my upturned behind as he strikes the first blow. I am startled by how intense it is and I squirm. He has me pinned so effectively, the only way for my body to squirm is up and I lift my hips, effectively raising my butt slightly higher. He strikes again, "AHHH!", and again, and again. He does not react in the slightest to my squirming or crying out. He continues steadily delivering his punishment. He reaches 7 then stops. "Five more" he says. "I want you to count Anastasia. Understand?"

"Yes Sir"

I brace myself. I squeeze his hand and I feel him squeeze back. That tiny gesture, a little squeeze of my hand, is all I need to reassure me and give me the steel to take what is coming. Although he is punishing me, I know he is hurting too, and this is helping him cope with his fear. Fear that I cause him with my unwillingness to submit totally to him and give him the control he has always craved. I know agreeing to accept his discipline when I break a promise helps him feel that he can keep me safe. He needs to feel he can keep me safe.

Suddenly that now familiar, red hot sting of the back of the hairbrush shoots through my left buttock. "One" I sing out as clear as I can. I breathe in hard and again the brush hits. "Two", I bite down on by lip when again powerful, stinging smack hits me "three" more of a squeak this time. The last two smacks hit with no less force. As I breathlessly greet the final blow with the word "Five" Christian drops the brush. He gently releases my hand and rubs my bottom tenderly with his right hand. I lie limp across his left knee. "Are you okay Ana" He asks. I know he is concerned that he may have broken me. I need to reassure him. I want to reassure him. That hurt like hell. It was humiliating and painful but I am his wife and this is how it will be between us. I can take spanking, no matter how hard if it allows me to give him his security and allows me to keep my free will. That is the balance. I could have kept my promise at the bar. I knew I was drinking too much. I could have stopped. I chose not to, and now I have taken a spanking for it. You know what, I don't care what Kate would think, what Mom, or Ray, or Jose would make of this. It is unimportant. My butt is on fire, I am draped over my husband's knee, but I'm fine. This is fine. _Crazy?_ Yes a little, _controversial?..._ I'll say, _weird?_ hmmm... we are an unusual couple! I giggle at the thought. Christian hooks me under my armpits with his hands and lifts me up. He sits me on the lap I was draped over moments ago. He looks quizzical.

"Ana? Are you okay? What's so funny?"

"I'm okay."

"Why are you laughing? Didn't I get my point across? Do I need to give you another spanking?"

"NO! No… that one was very effective, I assure you, you drove your point home! I was just thinking about how weird our friends would think we were if they could see this."

"Yeah well… I wasn't planning on telling them and I rather hoped you and I had gone past the Non-Disclosure Agreement stage!"

"I'm not telling anyone either. If I'd have seen me cooperate while you put me across your knee and spank my ass a year ago when I was an innocent, virginal third year English student, I'd have sought an intervention for myself! But now, don't get me wrong, it hurt, and I didn't like it, but for us, for Mr and Mrs Christian Grey, I think this ... you know…. I think this might work for us."

He says nothing. He smiles; he looks deep into my eyes and places a soft kiss on my forehead. I take his right hand, the hand that just finished spanking me, and I kiss his palm. "Kissing the hand that spanks me…" I say "…is infinitely preferable than biting the hand that feeds me!"

He lifts me in his arms, bridal style, and carries me over to the bed. He sets me down gently on the bed. "That's enough of that, turn over onto your belly,"

"Do I have to?"

"Do you really have to ask Ana?"

I roll over. My panties are still around my knees. Christian disappears into the bathroom and reappears with a pot of Aloe moisturiser. He sits down beside me on the bed and rubs the cool lotion into my spanked ass. My behind is tender to the touch, but it doesn't exactly hurt. I would not want to sit down on a hard chair for too long though!

When he has finished, he places the pot of lotion on his nightstand and lies on his side, next to me, leaning on his right arm, his left hand on my behind. He looks serious…

"Are you really okay Ana?"

"Yes" I smile.

"Do you think you learned your lesson?"

"Hmmm, in truth, probably not, but I'll try."

"I love you Anastasia Grey"

"I know you love me. That's why I can do this. I love you too. I'm sorry I made you want to punish me."

"Your behind is awfully red." I feel myself blush, and I'm sure my face is no less red than my butt. "Your hand is awfully hard, and so is that damn hairbrush!"

"I needed to provide you with a proper incentive to behave Mrs Grey." He smiles and kisses me gently before continuing… "From now on, we'll save the hairbrush for really serious problems and repeat offenses. Hopefully there won't be any. Hopefully that spanking is the incentive you need."

_... Somehow, I doubt it!_


	17. Chapter 17 - Picnics

At 1.45pm Christian decides to take me out for lunch. He has been in his study for a couple of hours and I took the opportunity to catch up on my MBA research.

I think I want to go for the Seattle University Course rather than Washington University. I know this will be a battle as it is an evening programme... _yeah! Because **that** will be the problem Ana... Not the fact you'll be rubbing shoulders with a class full of horny post grad students, some of whom will be guys..._ my subconscious sarcastically sneers. But on the positive, the business school is closer to home than Washington, and it will show Christian that I have finally embraced his idea of 'Grey Publishing'! Will that be enough to persuade him? I'll think about that later!

He bursts into the library, now serving as my study, and abruptly asks if I've eaten yet in that way that only Christian can. He knows I haven't of course... besides after the breakfast I had, after 11am, I haven't exactly been wasting away!

"I'm taking you out. Come" he says holding out his hand.

We are sitting in his R8 with the roof down and the wind in our hair. Taylor is following with Dexter. Christian looks over to me and grins, then puts his foot down on the gas and I am pushed back into my seat by the acceleration. Christian can sure drive like a pro!

"How come you're allowed to drive like a maniac and when I do, you confiscate my car keys?"

"Because Ana, first, I am driving fast, but not like a maniac. Second, I know how to handle fast cars, and third, my objective is not shake off or tick off our security detail!" He raises his eyebrows as he looks over to me. Doesn't seem fair to me.

"When are you going to give them back?"

"Around 2015 sounds about right to me." I resist the temptation to slap him on the arm in case he swerves off the road, then he really would have reason to go postal on me! I pout instead.

"Ana, you can't very well drive until you have that brace off anyway. How about once they've got Hyde safe behind bars, I promise reconsider?"

I don't answer; I just 'humph'. I can see he's amused.

Christian slows down near the marina and pulls in at the restaurant where we had our first chowder together the day he took me out on the Grace.

We order a sea food platter to share. When it arrives, it is groaning with oysters, shrimp, clams, smoked salmon and, resplendent in the middle, a lobster, divided in two and topped with a perfect dollop of mayonnaise.

I don't know where to start! I help myself to salad and shrimp, two oysters and Christian puts the sweet white meat from one half of the lobster tail on my plate.

Over lunch he is relaxed and his mood is buoyant. I can't help wondering how much of this is because I submitted to him and let him punish me. I am slightly un-nerved by my own feelings. I think the fact that Christian and I are married now has changed more than I realised it could. I remember the first time he spanked me, in my room in the apartment in Portland, I was confused. I knew that as a 21st century woman I was meant to feel abused and oppressed by his actions, but I hadn't felt that. I had actually found his dominance arousing and that made me feel dirty and wrong. I don't feel like that now. I feel neither oppressed nor dirty, neither abused nor wrong. I feel happy. I feel no guilt about last night-scene at the bar and I am not worried about Christian's resultant mood mood in the slightest, the slate is clean... yes, I am content that, even though my butt is a little more tender than is natural, this new arrangement will work to both our benefits. I feel so... happy, even without my car... although there is no way I am giving up on getting it back.

As we eat, and chat, and laugh, my curiosity grows about 'old Christian' and what he would have done to me had I been _'his'._

"Ana, what's on your mind? There is something, I can tell." _How? How can he always tell?_

"I'm still curious Christian... "

"Yes...? I need a little more information Mrs Grey"

"You know... back at the Heathman, our first night... what you'd have done... if I were yours" I whisper the last phrase furtively.

"Ahhh, well, curiosity killed the cat."

"I'm not a cat." He pauses, smiles and observes me for a moment, considering the reason for my curiosity I suspect

"You really want to know?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

Hmmm. Why indeed? I'm not sure. I have no desire to ever experience the cane wielding Dom that Christian used to be. That will forever be a hard limit for me; but, I cannot deny, imagining what he might have done sends a little tingle of fear and arousal through me. Even though I know the painful reality would in no way arouse me... thinking about it ... I blush.

"I don't know why... does there need to be a reason?"

"No, I guess not." He looks pensive and takes a long sip of wine before continuing. "I'm not sure I want you to know Ana." His expression is blank, I can't tell if he is embarrassed, annoyed, amused.

"I'm ashamed" he continues. _Oh! Shit, suddenly I wish I hadn't gone there. How am I going to rescue this?_

"Don't be!" I venture... "like you told me once, don't over think this. Christian..." I am practically whispering now. "It used to scare me shitless that you wanted to... you know... punish me. Aside from the fact it fucking hurts, and believe me it does" I say, resisting the temptation to rub my tender butt! "Now, well I find it kind of hot that you want to. It arouses me, that you are that bothered about me."

He looks taken aback for a moment. He narrows his eyes and clears his throat with a little cough. I can see he was not expecting me to say that. He takes another comforting sip of wine. I cannot stope myself from filling the silence.

"You must know for fuck's sake Christian... How could I possibly have married the most domineering, control freak, kinky meglomaniac in the USA if I wasn't aroused at some level by your... controlling nature? Believe me, nobody is more surprised than me!... You drive me fucking nuts, I have no idea why it makes me horny at the same time, but you damn well know it does!"

"Watch your language Anastasia" he says sternly, then his face betrays him and I detect a candid smile at the corners of his eyes and mouth, "...Otherwise I may have to give you another incentive to behave!" I feel my cheeks flush and I know I am blushing scarlet. He beams with satisfaction; my blushes in response to his threat confirming the effect his threats have on my libido! My body is my witness!

"Well Mrs Grey, you have once again surprised me. While I am tempted, I am going to withdraw from this line of conversation for now at least. I need to consider how to respond, and the day is long! Now eat up."

When we have finished our lunch, Christian pays the check and leads me back outside.

"Are we going out on the Grace?" I ask, but he leads me back to the car, answering with a simple "No"

We speed off south on the I5 and before I know it, we are approaching Sea Tac.

"Christian, are we going to the airport?"

He beams back at me and winks.

"Where are you taking me Mr. Grey? Spill!"

"That is for me to know and you to find out..." he teases "... I will give you a hint though. We are going for a picnic and then I'm taking you out to the theatre."

"New York? Are you taking me to New York? Are you? Tell me Christian, are we having a picnic in Central Park?..."

"Wait and see baby"

Before I know it, I am buckling up in the white, leather seats of the GEH jet. Dexter and Taylor are also aboard. We taxi along to the top of the runway.

"Where are we going Christian, please tell me, is it New York?"

"No baby, not New York."

"Where then?... Come on Grey... Spill"

"Mrs Grey, I am taking you to London."

I am speechless. _London__?_ Has he lost his mind?

"I can't go to London! I have work on Monday! Are you Crazy Christian?" I reach into my lap, unclip my seatbelt and stand up. Just as the pilot, Stephan, pulls back of the throttle. I am thrown back into my seat immediately. "For Fuck's sake Ana what are you doing? Sit the fuck down!" Christian yells as he reaches over to buckle me back into my seat. I slap his hands away and clip the buckle myself.

"I am sitting... Shit Christian, I don't have a lot of choice now do I?" I spit back at him. I'm boiling mad!

"I can't just drop everything and go to London Christian. I have a fucking Job!"

"We own the goddamn company Anastasia. Besides, we are flying back Wednesday, I don't see the problem."

"You don't see the problem? Well let me put you in the picture... I just had a week off, and I have manuscripts piling up, I have appointments to keep. Really, you can be so obtuse."

"I suggest you get a grip of your Temper Anastasia."

"But Christian, I can't just 'go to London' on a Saturday afternoon!"

"I don't see why not"

"Because I have responsibilities"

"Forgive me Anastasia. I thought being whisked off to the city you most love, at a moments notice would please you." He breaths in deeply, getting a grip of his own fraying temper, before continuing. "I have to go to London for a meeting Monday and Tuesday and I thought you would like to come with me. Besides, with Hyde still hanging around, I am not comfortable being so far away from you." I fold my arms and look out of the window, making a show of trying not to listen. "I have taken the opportunity to arrange some time for you at the offices of Bloomsbury; they are an independent Publishers based in London."

"I know who Bloomsbury are for Gods sake!" I say exasperated. Ignoring my interjection, he continues.

"I thought you might enjoy it and maybe benefit from a closer look at another publishing company. I thought maybe it'd inspire you. After all, someday you are going to head up Grey publishing."

"But my work Christian!"

"Obviously I've cleared this with Roach and I've spoken to Hannah. We have a study in our suite at the hotel and your Mac book is in the hold with our luggage." He really does think of everything. I feel a little ungrateful, but I can't help sulk a little at his presumtion that I'll be okay with this. I guess I'm not very good with surprises.

"Who packed for me?"

"Mrs Jones with a little help from yours truly."

"And what about all those manuscripts on my desk that I was planning to get through this week? Didn't think of those did you?"

"Actually I did. Hannah arranged for them to be biked over this morning." He says, more than a little aggravated now, pointing out a cardboard storage box strapped into a seat on the other side of the table. "Are you going to stop being a brat now or am I going to have to take you into the bedroom exercise my twitching palm for the second time today?" he raises his eyebrows at me and I blush ...again; I cannot quite hide my smile.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not that great with surprises."

"You're not kidding."

"... You can stow that twitching palm, but maybe we can find something else to occupy us in the bedroom?"

"I'm sure that can be arranged Mrs Grey; in fact, the way I am feeling right now, I would say it is an imperative."

We land at Heathrow Airport at what would be 2.30am Seattle time. Over here in England it is around 10am Sunday morning. There are 2 cars to meet us. One takes Christian and me in the back, Taylor sits up front with the driver. The second takes our luggage and Dexter. She looks exhausted. Christian and I slept for a good deal of the flight, but I guess she did not.

It takes us a little under an hour to reach our hotel. I sleep the whole journey. As we pull up, I take in the hotel's impressive façade. To me it looks like Buckingham palace. It is called the Lansborough. We did not stay here last time. It's on Hyde Park Corner, and is beautiful outside and in. We are shown up to our suite, the Royal Suite of course. It is as exquisite as one would imagine. We have a butler called Mr Barratt, a huge sitting room and a view over Buckingham Palace Gardens. While Mr Barratt unpacks for us, Christian reads the Sunday papers in the sitting room and I curl up next to him. He loves to read the English newspapers when he is here; I read the Culture section of the paper, about all the latest books and plays. I still feel tired and dirty from our journey despite the luxury of a proper bedroom and bathroom on board the GEH jet. I need to freshen up a bit so Christian dismisses Barratt so we can have some privacy.

We slide into the bathtub together and relax in each others arms. It feels so good just to be still for a little while. Our life is always for fast and full, just to lie together, warm, tired, in a new place, and enjoy the simple pleasure of lying together feels good.

"Baby, you need to wrap up warm today, it's colder here than you are used to and I don't want you getting cold." I sling on a sweater, jeans and converse. Christian looks divine in jeans and a thick, cream coloured cable knit sweater.

Waiting out front is a large, black Land Rover sport with Taylor at the wheel and Dexter in the passenger seat beside him. Of course the wheel is on the wrong side, which I find confusing. We climb in the back and we head off.

"Where are we going Christian?"

"A picnic baby. Somewhere special" There is a large, wicker hamper in the trunk, and four pairs of rain boots.

It takes another hour of driving to get to our destination. We drive out of London, through the suburbs and out into green hills. It looks like the illustrations on a thousand book jackets. Small irregular fields edged with hedges and ditches, brick, stone and flint houses and cottages, sheep dotted in meadows, and oak trees with leaves turning orange and brown in the autumn sun.

We climb up a steep and narrow road, that zig zags up the hill side. The views down the slopes onto the picturesque landscape and little cottages dotted around are like something from my imagination.

"Do you know where we are yet Ana?"

"Is this Box Hill?" I ask, hardly containing my excitement. Box Hill is a place I have read about and imagined just like this. In Jane Austin's brilliant book Emma, they picnic on Box Hill, which I know is in the countryside outside London. Could we really be there?

"Yes, and down there is a little town called Dorking. Can you see the church?"

I glance down at what looks like a perfect, tiny toy town spreading out from the hill below us, where Christian is pointing for a moment. I look my husband for longer, lean over and kiss him.

We get out of the car at the top of the hill. The sky is blue and peppered with white fluffy clouds. There is a cold breeze but the sun is pleasant on my face. Christian carries the hamper. I collect two tartan rugs from the trunk. We have no need of the boots.

We find a spot away from the trees, in an open field that slopes steeply away and down to the town of Dorking far below. I can see a river meandering like a silken thread at the foot of the hill, with pretty little brick bridges spanning it at intervals. We are not alone up here. Families with children and dogs, cyclists, hikers, couples in love like us all mess around up here. Walking, talking, taking in the view. Apart from the people, a train I can see in the distance, cars running around like beetles below, it is just as Austin described it. It's breathtakingly beautiful.

Dexter and Taylor are completely inconspicuous up here with all these people dotted about. They find a felled tree trunk about 15 feet away from us and perch there. I lay out the rugs and Christian sets down our hamper. The letters F&M are stencilled in black on the top. "Fortnum and Mason..." Christian explains, as usual it seems as if he can read my thoughts "... it's like Tiffany but for food. It's the best" he explains.

We enjoy a perfect English picnic for cucumber sandwiches, smoked salmon, ham¸ Cheddar cheese, salad, chutneys, hot tea in a flask, Scones with clotted cream and strawberry jam, and a basket of fresh cherries.

After we have eaten we walk and talk. It feels fantastic to be outside. With Hyde thousands of miles away across the ocean, Christian is more relaxed than I've seen him in a while. Even with our shadows, Dexter and Taylor, who are professional and discreet as ever, I haven't felt as normal as this since we were married. I feel like a 22 year old American girl on vacation with the 28 year old husband.

As clouds begin to gather we decide to retreat to a pub for a beer. We get to the car shortly after the heavens open. We pile into the back, dripping onto the seats and laughing hard. We head into the town and find a tiny pub with low ceilings and beams every which way called the Kings Head. Christian orders himself a pint of beer and I have a half pint of cider, which is sweet and delicious. As we dry off by the open fire, sipping out drinks I know I am the luckiest girl in the world.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted on the plane Christian." "Don't be. You wouldn't be you if you didn't throw a tantrum every time I try and surprise you. You are a pain in the rear end, but I love you."

I am tempted to fold my arms and pout, but won't give him the satisfaction.

By the time we get back to our hotel, it is dark and I am fast asleep in the back of the car. We make our way up to out suite and before I know it, I'm in bed. What a day. What a wonderful day.


	18. Chapter 18 - Control Issues

I wake at around 5am. I guess my body clock is screwed! Christian is not in bed. I slide on an oversized white fluffy robe and explore the suite. He isn't in our bathroom, nor our overgenerous sitting room. The dining room is empty also. I poke my head around the door of the study and there he is, at his laptop, tap, tap tapping away. He is dressed in pyjama pants and a long sleeved white t shirt. Hugging the open door, one foot in, one foot out of the study, I watch him for a little while. He hasn't shaved and the warm tone of his stubbly skin against the white t shirt is perfection. He does not look up, and just as I begin to think he is so engrossed that he hasn't noticed me he speaks.

"You are awake"

"You are observant" I reply with a more than a hint of sarcasm. His eyes lock with mine.

"You have a smart mouth. Perhaps I should do something about that?"

"I don't think so; I still have a tender ass"

"I did a good job then."

"You did… I thought you liked my smart mouth anyhow?"

"I love it." Smiles are impossible to stop in the face of the 'Christian Grey' brand of charm.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at you and thinking about what I'd like to do to you. What are you doing?"

"Looking at you and wondering what you'd like to do to me… And hoping you'll hurry up and do it!"

Christian rises from his chair and approaches me, sauntering over with a smile in his eyes. Suddenly he takes me around the waist with his right arm and grabs my right hand firmly in his. Theatrically, he bends me backwards, as if in a Tango, to kiss me. I'm completely caught guard and, succumbing to my natural, graceless self, off balance; I hook my braced left arm around his neck to steady myself, laughing. He winces at the brace thumps the back of his head and I am helpless with giggles, so much so I suddenly need a pee.

"This is not going quite as I planned wife!"

"I need a pee Christian… let me go"

Rather than releasing me, he drops my right hand, which I immediately hook around his neck clinging to him like a monkey; he sweeps his left arm below my knees and scoops me up in his arms. When we are in the bedroom, which is a little too grown up for my taste, he throws me on the bed "Go pee" he commands. "Oh Christian, how romantic!" and he lunges at me in a fake growl which makes me laugh again.

When I emerge from the bathroom, I have discarded my robe and my night gown. I stand in the door of the bathroom naked as the day I was born. Christian is sitting on the edge of the bed fiddling with his Blackberry.

When he looks up and sees me in the doorway, I notice his lips part fractionally as he takes a short, silent breath. As I walk towards him, he leans back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows. I straddle him, perching on his hips.

"Now I have you where I want you Mr Grey" I tease. I am feeling unusually sanguine this morning! "…Now what to do with you…?"

"Sanguine huh Mrs Grey? Well I, myself am feeling… intrepid; audacious even!"

He flips me over and before I know which way is up, I am lying flat on my back, pinned in place by my gorgeous man, who is grinning like the cat that got the cream. He reaches down crossing his arms in front of him and pulls his t shirt off in one fluid movement, revealing his perfect, sculpted torso. As is my habit, I catch my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to control my desire. I feel my heart pounding in my chest as his weight and strength, and vigour lie heavy against me. I drink in his familiar smell, and as I look up at his perfect face, a face that only I see, warm, soft, full of love and delight. It starts with a kiss, a slow and passionate kiss; then … we lose ourselves in each other.

We breakfast in the dining room of our suite. It feels a little too formal to me but as ever Christian seems at home amongst such formality and grandeur. I try and ignore it and the fact I don't quite feel like I belong. Christian peruses the Financial Times, another favourite British paper. I sit and think about the massive changes in my life that have brought me here. I feel giddy when I think of it. Most things, like this suite, I just deal with. Some things like, like security, I have to work on to adapt to… _with a little 'help' from your disciplinarian husband!_ My subconscious reminds me in her most sneering tone. But there are some things, very few in fact, that concern me. Things about myself I don't want to lose control over. One in particular.

The crazy stress of the past week or so has cemented my ambition to regain control in one particular area of my life before my megalomaniac husband thinks he is in total control. I do not want to become a mouse like creature living in palace… with a lion! A outwardly small, but significant step will be to regain a little control over my diet. It has always been a bugbear between us. I have always hated Christian's obsession with what I eat, but largely to keep the peace in moments of tension, I have usually relented to his constant command "EAT!" Even when we were in the early stages of our relationship, negotiating the terms of his original contract, I made it very clear that he would not control my food. This was my attempt to keep control. As the months have passed though, he has increasingly managed to do just that. I am determined that, little by little I am going to regain control again. I like being slender, and if I carry on eating the way he wants me to, by the time we have kids, I'll be fat and miserable!

I have never confided in Christian about my relationship with food. I guess it's my own secret past. He made it obvious from that first morning at the Heathman that he had issues of his own with food and I am not so dumb as to highlight my own personal demons or what is currently constant and irritating nagging, I don't doubt would quickly become suffocating, all pervasive policy!

_Haven't confided about your 'relationship with food?!' HA!_ - My subconscious spits with distain. _Haven't told him squat about how fucked up you used to be! _I squash down that unwelcome thought as fast as it occurs to me. Sometimes, I wish I could just switch my subconscious off!

What he has never recognised is that controlling food for me is important. It helps me cope better with the things I can't control. I am not an outwardly forthright, ebullient person like Kate. Food has always been a way for me to feel like I have a little control in my life. Some people are really disciplined about exercise; some show great leadership at work, some prefer to indulge in a BDSM lifestyle! Christian is all of the above. Me… I like to watch what I eat; I like to eat what I want when I want. What is more, nothing is guaranteed to make me feel less like eating than feeling stressed and out of control! I have been struggling with these feelings all week, being stuck at home after Hyde got out on bail. Then after enjoying letting my hair down on Friday night, I relaxed and stuffed my face with pancakes on Saturday. If it wasn't for Christian, I'd have skipped lunch and maybe had a salad for supper and felt fine. As usual, Christian took me out for lunch, then made me eat what he considers a proper dinner on the plane. He doesn't get that it just made me feel bad. I have been sitting around eating for a week at his command and now I feel the need to get back in control. Of course I will not discuss this with Christian! He would not get it. He would panic and would not be able to help himself taking total control if he thought I felt this way. At the very least he would ship me off to Flynn with accusations of my having an eating disorder! I suspect he would become a complete nightmare about everything that passes my lips... _well, not everything!_ I laugh to myself at my filthy mind

"What's funny Mrs Grey?" Christian look up from his paper.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about the last thing that passed my lips before this yogurt."

"I will be thinking about that all day, trust me. Do you want some toast?"

"No I'm fine Christian"

"You cannot survive all morning on just a hazelnut yogurt Anastasia. Have some toast… And a banana. … And a little Granola. Please."

"My body clock is completely out of whack Christian, and besides, I thought I'd go for a swim this morning before I head out. I can't swim of a full stomach. I'll have a little more to eat after that."

"See that you do. I'd better let Dexter know you are planning on using the pool."

I roll my eyes, but he is too engrossed in his paper to notice.

It is still only 8am but it feels as if we have had a full morning already. As I gather my things for the day, Christian prepares to head out into the city. It is a grey London day. Coming from Seattle, I am well used to rain, but somehow this feels different. More English! Like in the movies, it has a particular atmosphere, a particular grey light. It's funny, it is only the second time I have visited this country, but part of me feels very at home here.

"We are going out for an early supper before the theatre Ana. We're eating at 6pm. Can you please be ready at 5.30."

_Oh yeah! The theatre, I forgot! _There is so much to see here we are totally spoiled for choice. "What are we going to see?"

"It's a comedy, 'One Man Two Guvnors'. It is supposed to be the must see of the moment."

"I can't wait! I'll be ready."

"I have to head off now baby. Enjoy your swim and make sure you finish your breakfast. I will know if you don't. You are expected at Bloomsbury after 9.30. I thought you'd want to touch base with SIP this afternoon. Your Mac book is set up in the study so you can work here later. I'll see you at 5.30. I love you baby". He kisses me. I am processing all the information when Barrett comes to clear the breakfast away. "Is there anything else I get madam?"

"No thank you Barrett. I'd like to go down and use the pool. Could you please inform Ms Dexter for me? I need to change."

"Of course madam." _I hate being called Madam!_

I enjoy a gentle swim before showering and dressing back in the suite. A car arrives for us at 9.30 and, with Dexter up front, we head off across central London to Bloomsbury publishing. _Shit!… I left my blackberry by the bed._ Should I send Dexter back to get it? _Fuck no,_ Christian would go ballistic if I sent her anywhere! He's probably in meetings anyway I'll just have to manage without it for a morning!

I have a wonderful morning at Bloomsbury with a woman called Felicity Burton who shows me around the offices and is quite happy to chat with me about the world of publishing. At 1pm I decline her kind invitation to lunch as I know Christian will expect me to have a healthy appetite this evening. A corporate lunch as well, does not fit into day one of my new, disciplined regime. Getting a grip on what I'm eating is already making me feel more like me. We head back to the hotel.

I order an egg white omelette and a spinach salad with my favourite tea and I spend the afternoon skimming through my backlog of manuscripts. I ask Barratt to hold all calls, I hate being interrupted when I'm reading. Later I decide to catch up with my email and call SIP towards the end of the afternoon. I scold Hannah a little for her collusion with Christian over this trip, but she is far more interested in discussing the fallout of my bitch fight with Samantha on Friday. It occurs to me that it is a bit odd that I haven't heard from Christian. _SHIT!_ My Blackberry is still by the bed! I call Barrett right away and ask him if we had any calls. He confirms that we had two both from Christian, but once he declined to leave a message. I run to my blackberry to find, as expected, I have six missed calls and I have mail!

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Good Start

**Date:** September 26th 2011 8.54 am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

That was the very best start to day that I could have asked for. Thank you.

Enjoy your swim, enjoy your morning, ENJOY YOUR BREAKFAST. That is an order.

I am going into a conference and will not be free until later this afternoon. If you need anything call Taylor.

I love you

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Where are you?

**Date:** September 26th 2011 2.39pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

The conference has broken up until tomorrow. I guess radio silence means you are having Lunch at Bloomsbury. Let me know you are Okay. You know how I worry.

Christian Grey

Neglected CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: **Water Wings

**Date:** September 26th 2011 3.06pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Did you drown? Where is your Blackberry? Not wherever you are that much is clear.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Stalking

**Date:** September 26th 2011 3.37pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I have had to resort to old tactics. Old habits die hard.

I understand you did not have lunch at Bloomsbury.

I can't get through to our suite. I know you are there.

Call me. I am worried

Christian Grey

Anxious CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Controlling Temper

**Date:** September 22nd 2011 4.16pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

… Barely

Did you drop your phone in the pool this morning?

Maybe you have fallen in love with Barrett and are figuring out how to elope?

You'd had better have had lunch. I am finishing up here so I can track you down.

Christian Grey

Frustrated and trying not to be Pissed CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Alive, well and ever monogamous

**Date:** September 26th 2011 4.32pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I'm sorry, my Blackberry was on my nightstand all day and I got engrossed in a bad manuscript this afternoon.

Of course I had lunch, it was delicious.

Thank you for arranging for me to meet Felicity. I thoroughly enjoyed my morning.

Eloping with Barrett is not on the agenda.

Looking forward to laters x

Your Ana xxx

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Glad to hear it…

**Date:** September 26th 2011 4.35pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

…on all counts.

Needless to say, I need to scold you about not having your Blackberry with you. You can look forward to that later. Think yourself lucky I'm not getting you chipped.

I will be there at 5.30. I won't come up as we are short of time.

Meet me in the lobby

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

At 5 I slip into a pair of pale blue kitten heals and a gorgeous Caroline Herrera, knee length dress that I have never seen before, with a full A line skirt and a beautifully fitted bodice. It is pale blue with taupe horizontal stripes and makes me feel like Audrey Hepburn! I make a mental note to thank Caroline Acton; I'm sure Christian arranged it with her. I sling on a cashmere cardigan and by the time I have gathered my purse I get a call telling me my car is here.

Christian is waiting in the lobby for me as I emerge with Dexter from the elevator. As ever, he looks delicious and I know I will be the envy of every girl in London tonight.

We dine in a lovely restaurant at the top of the 'OXO' tower on the South Bank of the River Thames. The view of London is fantastic and the food very good. I persuade Christian that we don't have time for appetizers. I opt for an appetizer as my main, selecting hand dived scallops with a salad and Serrano ham cracker. When Christian raises an eyebrow to object, I beg him, stating that I've been craving Scallops since we has seafood on Saturday and claim that I had a larger lunch than I intended. He relents unable to resist my pleas, ordering French beans on the side and asking for extra scallops. I am satisfied that this is healthy and will in no way compromise the headway I made today getting control back over my diet. Christian, who is a bottomless pit when it comes to food, orders Chateaubriand with mashed potatoes and several other accompaniments. We drink Sancerre, his favourite.

The play is a joy. Very clever and very, very funny. I have never been to the theatre with Christian before. Sometimes I cannot resist watching him instead of the action. He seems to really be enjoying himself. He laughs. I have only ever seen him laugh like this with me, in private, and then only rarely. I snuggle in close to him.

When the play has finished, Christian gets our driver to take us to Covent Garden, where there is an old covered market. At night it is alive with people, street performers, food sellers, bars and restaurants. Beautiful women with their immaculate husbands pour out of the Royal Opera House after a performance of Tosca. I can hear chatter everywhere. I feel as if I am in a play or on a film set. It is straight out of Oscar Wilde! Without a coat, I am feeling the cold through to my bones. Christian, ever the gentleman, removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders, scolding me gently for not dressing properly. Some things won't change ever!

We meet our driver and return to the hotel. We head for the Library bar where Christian orders a bottle of Dom Perignon. Christian excuses himself as he answers the silent ring of his Blackberry. I realise I have, once again left my blackberry in the suite and I mouth to him that I'm going to freshen up and will be back in a moment.

I tear up to our suite like a woman possessed, which amuses me for some reason. I reach the suite, let myself in. I locate my Blackberry in the study almost straight away.

I have an idea. I sit on the bed and start composing a text message.

**I will be back down in 2 minutes. After our Champagne, I want you to tell me what you'd have done if I'd been yours that first night. A x**

I hope this tempts him. I am just about to pop my Blackberry back in my purse when it pings.

**Stay where you are. I am on my way up. C**

_Shit_…. Is he mad? He has no reason to be mad!

I don't have long to wait. To door to the bedroom swings open and in walks Christian, with a bottle of Champagne in one hand and two glasses in the other.

"Good evening Mrs Grey. I understand we have something to discuss"

_Oh my!_

He expertly pours us each a glass of vintage Champagne and we lie next to each other on the bed. I don't know why I feel so nervous! I soothe my apprehension by snuggling myself up against Christians shoulder.

"Are you sure you want to know Ana"

"Yes – I don't understand why you are so reluctant to tell me! It isn't as if I haven't seen the playroom… it's not like I didn't know what you did in there before me!"

"I don't like to think of myself like that with you. I'm different now, because of you and I'm glad you never saw what I was then. You could never have loved what I was."

"Don't sweat it Christian, just tell me… I don't know why I want to hear it… I just kinda want to know!"

"Okay, but Ana, I need you to be very clear on this. I would never have done this to _you_. If you'd been a sub, under the same circumstances and if I decided not to simply terminate our contract, I would have punished you according to your prescribed limits. That first morning, what I said about '_if you been mine',_ what I meant was _'if you were my sub_'. You are _mine_ now and this is unthinkable to me. I need to be sure you know this"

"I get it, I get it Christian I promise. Please, just tell me. If I'd been _your sub_… what would you have done?" He hesitates, looking deep into my eyes before he begins.

"First I'd have made you wait. I would have made you sit and think about your misbehaviour. How long would have depended on how submissive you were and how I felt at that moment. An hour, two maybe. You'd have been alone in the corner of the playroom, In just panties, kneeling like I have showed you. I would have done this each night for a week. On the first night, I would spank you. Severely. "

"What do you mean? How? With what?" Again Christian pauses, looking at me, assessing how far he should go I think.

"Over the bench. With a belt or a paddle, or both; for some time. It would depend on your limits and your responses. Most subs can take a lot. After I spanked you, I would have fucked you hard, from behind. On the second night I would have ties you down and done the same, but with a cane. I would have been careful not to bruise or damage the skin." He pauses to sip his champagne before turning back to me. "Ana, I don't want to do this." I can see that behind his blank expression he is upset. I have pushed him into this and I don't know why. I don't find it arousing at all. And he is upset.

"I get the picture Christian. I'm sorry I pressed you. I don't know why I wanted to know. I'm stupid I guess."

"You are not stupid Anastasia Grey." Now it is me who feels upset. And shamed. I breathe in deeply to get a grip of my emotions and look him square in the eye.

"I prefer MY Christian… even if he does occasionally wield a hairbrush in my direction!" Christian is unnervingly quiet. He fixes me with his eyes, expressionless, before he speaks.

"... A lot of people would think _that_ makes you stupid."

"A lot of people but not me. I think it makes me complex and open minded, and horny!"

He smiles and I am happy that I have rescued the situation.

"Speaking of horny…" he ventures suggestively as he pulls himself on top of me, and I can feel hard evidence of his ever swinging mood pressing against my thigh! As we abandon ourselves to soft kisses and rising libidos, my subconscious manages a word or two of congratulation.

_Nice save Steele!_


	19. Chapter 19 - Blackberry

Dawn breaks on Tuesday and I wake feeling too hot. Christian is wrapped around me line an octopus and still sound asleep. I look over to the clock on the nightstand; it is 7.15. I try to disentangle my left arm which is beginning to go numb. Christian's grip only tightens.

"You aren't going anywhere Mrs Grey!" he says sleepily.

"As you are awake now, please give me my arm back, I'm hot and I'm losing the feeling in my left hand."

He instantly sits bolt upright. "What? In your fractured wrist, that's fucking serious. Shit, we need to get you to a hospital." He releases my arm with his movement and I stretch it and pump my hand trying to get the circulation back. I start to loosen the brace and he grabs my hand to stop me. "Calm down Christian, it's just a dead arm where you were leaning on it! I just need to get the blood pumping again!"

"Are you sure? You can't mess with fractures! Maybe it's more serious?"

"For Gods sake, I know what a dead arm feels like! Here, help me get the brace off."

"We can't do that Anastasia, Your wrist is…"

"Fractured, yes I know… " I interrupt, exasperated "…Sure we can take it off" I loosen the Velcro straps and pull my puny looking wrist out and tentatively move it backwards and forwards to encourage the blood to circulate back into my numb hand quicker. The exercise has the desired effect; although my injured wrist is still painful and looks withered. I leave my brace off and head into the bathroom. Christian follows. I run the faucet and put my wrist under the water.

"Let me" he whispers, taking my wrist. He gently pumps a little soap into his hand and tenderly washes my forearm and wrist, delicately massaging my now feeble muscles. He dries it meticulously and then ever so carefully, kisses my wrist before replacing the brace.

After showering, we sit down for breakfast. Christian picks up his newspaper and just as I am about to help myself to a yogurt, Barrett arrives with a little silver trolley. In it are two plates each covered with a silver cloche. He places a plate in front of me, removing the cloche to reveal a stack of four pancakes, bacon and blueberries, with a little, white, porcelain jug of maple syrup. He sets a toast rack in front of me with a bowl of butter curls and crystal ramekin of strawberry jam with a silver spoon, as well as a basket of croissant and Danish pastries. As Barrett moves to serve Christian, I gaze with despair at the excess of breakfast in front of me. I cannot help but feel angry. As Barrett makes his retreat, I look up at Christian. My face must give me away. "Don't you dare be mad at me Ana. I told you I'd know if you didn't finish your breakfast yesterday. One little bowl of yogurt is not enough. Eat."

"This is too much. I won't eat it."

"You don't have to eat it _all_, but you are eating some of it. I'm not leaving until I've seen you eat a proper breakfast."

I eat two of the pancakes and the blueberries. I pour syrup on the pancakes I don't eat, cut them up a little and I conceal the bacon under them while Christian is absorbed in his paper. I help myself to toast, putting a little butter and jam on the edge of my plate to give the impression I have used them, I eat half a slice dry, conceal the other half under a croissant in the basket. I then help myself to grapes from the fruit bowl. Christian seems satisfied. I feel like I have got one over on him, which is as unusual as it is gratifying. _This is something that I am a pro at!_

"I'll be back at 3 latest. I thought we could go to a gallery. Or we could go shopping if you prefer?" he teases, knowing my preference.

"What do you think?"

"What are you going to do this morning?"

"I thought I'd walk in the park. I have another dire manuscript to tackle, I thought I'd skim through it there. Really Christian it is so bad I can't bear to be cooped up in here with it. I could do with some air. Maybe I'll have lunch out?"

"About lunch, an egg white omelette and some leaves is what crazy people in Beverly Hills eat, not my wife!"

"Have you been spying of me again?" I say, outraged but not surprised.

"You know I have. Get yourself a proper lunch Anastasia. I mean it."

"Yeah, yeah you always do!"

I kiss him, and turn to retreat to the study. As I do he pops my on the bottom. "I'll make you go shopping if you don't!"

"You wouldn't dare! That really would be spousal abuse!"

It is cold outside. I am wearing jeans, my converse, a long sleeve t shirt and Christians cable knit, which is comical as it swamps me. It almost comes down to my knees. I roll the sleeves up to form two doughnuts at my wrists. I have never felt more comfortable. It smells of him.

I scrape my hair into a ponytail and thread it through the back of a Mariners baseball cap. I'm all set. I decide to leave my purse so stick a credit card into my back pocket just in case, grab my manuscript and head out into the cold, English, September sunshine.

Hyde Park is busy, moms with strollers, people running, couples dawdling. Dexter follows close behind.

"Ms Dexter" I call. She walks briskly to catch up with me.

"Yes ma'am, is there a problem?"

"No, no. may I call you Irene?"

"Sure Mrs Grey."

"Do you enjoy your work Irene? And please call me Ana."

"Mrs Grey, if you don't mind, I'd rather stick with Mrs Grey, I'm sure Mr Grey would prefer it too."

"Sure, whatever makes you comfortable"

"I like my work well enough. I pride myself that I'm good at my job Ma'am. I enjoy getting out."

"Have you worked with a lot of different families."

"No families Mrs. Grey. Politicians. Always politicians."

"Oh. This must be quite a change for you then."

"You could say that."

"Do you like it?"

"Of course Mrs Grey. Your husband is an interesting man. I like a job that challenges me."

"Do you find Christian more of a challenge, or me?"

"I didn't mean to be disrespectful Mrs Grey. Please forgive me."

"I'm not offended in the slightest Irene. I know I can be a pain in the butt for you guys. I'm just not used to… you know…. All this, and it ticks me off sometimes that I can't just act like a normal girl my age. And you are right about Christian… he is an interesting man!"

Dexter smiles. It is the first time I have seen her smile. It suits her! I don't know why this surprises me.

"Mrs Grey, I enjoy looking after you. Never a dull moment. Mr Grey can be challenging, but it keeps us all at the top of our game. That is where I like to be. To be honest Mrs Grey, I don't think I've enjoyed a job more."

Wow! I did not expect that. I feel flattered.

I find an empty bench overlooking a boating lake. I settle down with my manuscript.

I enjoy the fresh air. It had the additional benefit of helping me stay awake despite the quality of the pros I am forced to endure.

After a couple of hours I am getting cold. Where can a girl get a cup of tea around here? Crap, I have no cash.

"Irene, I'm sorry, I only have my credit card; do you have some cash I can borrow for a cup of tea?"

"Sure Mrs Grey."

She hands me a twenty "Would you like a coffee?"

"Yes please Mrs Grey, black."

As I bring her coffee, her change and a muffin, she looks pensive.

"Thanks you Mrs Grey. Um, ma'am?"

"Yes, what is it Irene?"

"I had a call from Mr Taylor while you were at the kiosk. Mr Grey is concerned that you might have left your Blackberry back at the hotel."

I pat my empty pocket. _Crap! _"Shit, he's right. Did he happen to mention if Mr Grey is ticked off?"

"Um, yes Ma'am, he did say something along those lines. Mr Grey would feel more comfortable if we retrieve your Phone immediately… if we intend to spend any more time away from the hotel Ma'am."

We high tail it back to the hotel. I discard my tea on the way.

I head up to the suite right away. There on my night stand is my Blackberry. It is 11.30. There are messages and missed call as expected. I roll my eyes. Instead of dealing with them right away I decide order that tea I wanted and freshen up. I find Dexter and ask her to call Taylor and advise him I am reunited with my Blackberry. Of course, she already has!

I dispatch Barrett with my order of tea and ask him for chicken soup to be brought up at midday for lunch; then I retreat to the bathroom. When I emerge my tea has arrived. I sit down in the sitting room, setting my blackberry down beside me and pour my tea, stealing myself for the berating messages from my beloved that are no doubt waiting for me.

I check my emails first.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Instructions

**Date:** September 27th 2011 9.01 am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

1. Don't go out without your Blackberry!

2. Eat a proper lunch.

3. Enjoy your morning.

4. Miss me.

I love you

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** So help me…

**Date:** September 27th 2011 9.45am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

If your failure to respond to my email is because your Blackberry is still on the damn nightstand you are in trouble Anastasia.

Christian Grey

Exasperated CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject: **Head in the clouds

**Date:** September 27th 2011 11.10am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

By the time you get this you will be back in the suite and reunited with your Blackberry. What am I going to do with you Mrs Grey?

Now go order yourself some lunch.

I will be back sometime after 2pm

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

_Oups!_ I'd better compose a reply.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Idiosyncrasies

**Date:** September 27th 2011 11.48am

**To:** Christian Grey

These little imperfections are the reason you love me.

In addition, I provide you with an outlet for your natural instinct to nurture.

We are a perfect team.

Lunch is ordered and on it's way

Your Ana xxx

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Imperfections

**Date:** September 27th 2011 11.52am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

…You have none.

I love you

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

P.S. Never in my life has anyone accused me of "nurturing" instinctively or otherwise.

_Nice recovery Mrs Grey!_

I notice I have a missed call from Kate, two from my Mom and one from Ray. My heart misses a beat… something must be wrong. I call Ray first. He is the most level headed of the three. I don't dial his cell phone, it's 4am in Seattle! I call the hospital so I can check everything is okay. I ask about Raymond Steele I am told he is no longer there! The lady on the phone is about as unhelpful as she can be. Has he been discharged? Surly they'd have told me? Maybe that is what all the calls were about. I call his cell but it is busy. I call Christian, and Taylor answers.

"Mrs Grey, Mr Grey is on another line. Do you need me to disturb him?"

"No Taylor, please just ask him to call me when he's done. Thanks."

I decide to call Kate next. I don't think I can deal with my Mom right now. Elliot answers. "Elliot? Doesn't anyone answer their own phone any more?"

"Ana, Kate's just err… stepped out… um… are you with Christian?"

Elliot sounds weird. "No. Why? Stepped out? It's four in the morning over there! Where would she go at 4am? And why do you sound weird Elliot?"

"What? I don't sound weird! Do I sound weird?" Alarm bells are going off in my head like fireworks. Something is defiantly going on.

"Is everything okay Elliot? Do you know where my dad is?"

"Ray? Did you try the hospital?"

"What do you think Elliot? What's going on?… Spill!"

"Ana, really I don't know anything. When is Christian getting back?"

"ELLIOT GREY! YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL…" "Whoa Ana… calm down. Look I'll get Kate to call you straight back." He hangs up. Shit, now I'm scared.

I dial Dad's cell phone number. At last it picks up, but nobody speaks.

"Daddy? Daddy, it's Ana. Where are you?"

"Anastasia Gold digging prick tease Grey, great to hear from you after all this time."

I go cold. I can't mistake that voice. It's Jack Hyde.


	20. Chapter 20 - Home

I am frozen to my seat. "So Ana, I was thinking maybe you wanna come pick up your Dad. He is looking a little worse for wear."

I am silent. I don't know what to say. He continues...

"Chicken are you? I didn't think you'd be a coward. I'd put your dad on but he's not exactly lucid at the moment. Or conscious!" He laughs.

That's it! his sick laughter is the trigger that spurs me into a response. I explode.

"I am going to track you down and tear you limb from limb Jack Hyde."

"I look forward to that! You might have money, but a tiny little girl like you doesn't frighten me." The door of the sitting room bursts open and Dexter rushes in. I raise my hand to indicate to her that she should stay quiet. I continue...

"I have laid you out twice before, next time I'll make sure you don't get up again."

"Anastasia, if you want him back you are going to have to come get him, alone, this morning. Mess me around and I will fuck him up."

"I'm not even in the country you incompetent asshole. I'm on another continent!" He is silent for a moment. I can see this latest episode has not been well planned. Hyde must be getting desperate. This frightens me.

"What do you mean? You stupid bitch... You fuck everything up. Where the Fuck are you?"

"London" He is silent for another moment

"If you wanna see the old man again you'd better get your sugar daddy to get your ass back to Seattle pronto. I will be in touch."

He hangs up before I can respond. I feel as if my world is cracking. This is my fault, and now he has my Dad. He won't stop until he has me. He wants me so he can break Christian. That is his aim, to break my darling Christian. I feel panic rising in me. Frantically I dial dad's number again but there is no answer. I feel like I an going to lose it. In my head I'm smashing the lamp against the wall, shredding clothes, drapes and linen with my bare hands, hurling chairs through windows, pounding my fists into the floor, tearing at my face with my fingernails.

In reality I am still, silent, limp. My eyes fill with tears.

"Mrs Grey? Mr Grey is on his way back here. Miss Kavanagh called him a few moments ago. There has been an incident in Seattle. He wants to brief you on the situation himself"

_Why the fuck didn't Kate call me? _I need to talk to Christian. I fill my lungs, pumping my body with oxygen enough to give me the energy to speak. I call him right away.

"Ana, I'm on my way back. I have some... News. We're in the car. We'll be there in a few minutes"

"I know what's happened. I spoke to Hyde. Where is Dad Christian?" I can barely get my words out

"Calm down baby please. I'm trying to find out. I've got Ryan and Welch on it. Kate and Elliott are with the police now. I'll know more by the time I get there. Try and stay calm. We have the best people. Hyde won't get far."

"I can't Christian, I can't... this is too much... what can I do? I need to do something."

"Call your mother and tell her you are okay. She's left messages all over the place. I will be there before you know it. Is Dexter with you?"

"Yes she's here."

"Please can you put her on? "

"Okay. Hurry Christian"

"I love you baby."

I pass the phone to Dexter. I can hear Christian yelling instructions at her.

_"Dexter, make sure she calls her Mom on the hotel phone; we need to keep this line open. The traffic in this city is fucked... I don't know how long it'll take us to get there so keep her busy and DO NOT LET MY WIFE OUT OF YOU SIGHT!"_

I go to our bathroom and run the cold water. I splash it over my face, trying to shock myself out my tears. I can't. This is too much. It's been one thing after another and I don't think I can deal with this. I sit on the floor and weep.

"Mrs Grey, Are you okay Ma'am?"

"No Irene, I'm not okay, I'm really not." Irene Dexter is no councilor. She is not the maternal type and she looks awkward to say the least.

"Mr Grey will be here soon Ma'am. From what I understand, the situation is still emerging. I know Mr Taylor and Mr Grey are doing all they can to find out what is going on. Perhaps it'd be a good idea to call your Mom?"

She hands me a Kleenex. I try to pull myself together a little before I make my way to the study and pick up the phone. I dial Moms number. She picks up straight away.

"Mom?"

"Ana Thank God."

"Mom, What do you know of what's going on? I'm half way around the world and I don't know what to do!"

"Honey, Kate called me. There was a problem with your dad at the hospital overnight. I told her to call Christian. I'm so sorry baby." _Sorry? What does she mean sorry? _I feel panic rising again.

"Why are you sorry he's not dead is he? IS DAD DEAD MOM?" I am pacing the room as I talk.

"Dead? No, No Ana. Haven't you spoken to him?"

"Of course not, how could I?"

"I thought he might have called. He just called me. Then I called your apartment. I just got off the phone from Mr Ryan. I didn't know you were overseas. Kate didn't mention that."

"What do you mean he called? How? Did you speak with Hyde? How was Dad? Where was he?" I'm confused.

"He's in the hospital Ana, he was there the whole time. Who is Hyde? Apparently some crazy guy broke into his room last night, stole his stuff. When they found him missing nobody knew what to think. It turns out the guy locked him in a store room on the 4th floor and a janitor found him about 30 minutes ago. Is Hyde the crazy guy? Dad wanted to call you but his cell phone was gone and his room vandalized He didn't know your number by heart so he called me. I would have called you myself but I wanted to keep your line open for him. He's okay Ana. Mad as hell but okay."

Relief floods through me like a drug.

I can hear talking outside the study, Christian must be here. Everything is happening at once... he's yelling ... "_I thought I said don't let her out of your sight_," The door swings open ...

I feel elated "He's Okay... Hyde hasn't got him..." I think I say this out loud but I'm not sure. Suddenly nothing feels exactly real and the walls are coming in on me. I can't feel the floor beneath my feet. The phone falls from my hand. "SHIT!" is all I hear Christian say as the floor comes up to meet me, and I am in a fog of unconsciousness.

I wake on the couch of the sitting room, Christian anxiously stoking my hair. He is kneeling in front of me. "Hi Ana, you fainted. You're okay"

After a moment of confusion, I remember "DADDY!" I shout out, sitting bolt upright. Whoa ... Head rush!

"Take it easy baby, you had a shock and you fainted, no gymnastics yet!"

"Christian, he's okay... I spoke to mom, Hyde was bluffing me. Dad's at the hospital."

"I know he's okay sweetheart, I called the hospital and he was found half an hour ago. He's pretty ticked off but physically fine. What do you mean Hyde was bluffing? Tell me exactly what he said.

I tell Christian and Taylor everything I know, my conversation with Hyde and my Mom.

Christian explains that he got a call from Kate at 11.55 telling him Dad was missing and his room had been vandalized. Apparently Dad had written Kate's number down as a second contact in case of emergency. The hospital called her when they couldn't reach me. They discovered Dad was gone at 2am and called the police. Because of Dads connection with Christian and possible press interest, a policy of complete blackout was adopted by the hospital, partly on Elliot's insistence. Christian seems usually proud of this fact and of his big brother. That's why the lady at the hospital were so unhelpful I guess. Christian stopped Kate calling me to tell me Dad was missing and promised to come straight back to the hotel and tell me in person. While he was in the car, Welch called, he has been at the hospital and had just confirmed that Ray had been found unharmed.

"What the fuck is Hyde doing Christian?"

"He's desperate. He's disorganized, probably in no state to abduct Ray, so he did the next best thing, stole his cell and tried to bluff you into meeting him. Thank God we are here."

"I want to go home."

"And we will; in the morning. Right now we are going to have some lunch, get to a gallery, than come back and call your dad. Let's let the poor guy sleep for now, he's been locked in a storeroom all night! We'll call everyone later."

"I ordered lunch already."

"I think we can do better than chicken broth." He says raising his eyebrows. I have no energy for fighting and relent without protest.

We wander around the National Gallery on Trafalgar Square for two hours. My heart isn't in it. I just want to go home and see my Dad. Christian is preoccupied. I know why. Hyde's desperation has unnerved him. A wounded animal is a dangerous animal and Jack Hyde has nothing left to lose.

We are just leaving the gallery, heading towards the stone steps at the front that lead to the fountains in the Square when my Blackberry rings.

"Anastasia, don't answer it" Christian commands, reaching for my purse. I turn my body away from him, pulling my purse out of reach, as I rummage for my phone

"I'm getting it. It could be Kate, or Mom, or even Dad." I put the phone to my ear. "Ana Grey speaking"

"Oh there's the nasty little bitch..." It is Hyde. I step away from Christian a few paces.

"Yes, I'm here and my I know where my father. He is just fine thank you for asking!" I spit sarcastically.

"You are not going to win this. I will go back for him Ana. You and Grey are not getting away with what you did to me. You and your whole family are screwed I will make sure of it. I know things about you. I got plans to fuck you up... You'd better get back here fast or..."

I don't hear any more; Christian grabs the Blackberry before I can protest. He listens to Hyde ranting for several minutes. I try to reach over and retrieve it from his grip but he pushes me back and I can't reach. His face is hard, expressionless. He remains silent. After a minute or two he switches the Blackberry off, indicates for Taylor to come over and hands him my phone.

"Deal with that Taylor" he says simply, then smiles at me, takes my hand and leads me outside. "I suggest we go back to the hotel to make some calls, have some dinner and go to bed. What do you think?"

"What did he say Christian?"

He stops and turns to me, holding my shoulder and lifting my chin so that our eyes meet, he speaks sincerely "Nothing of any importance. Ray is safe. Nobody can get near him, or Kate and Elliot, or Mia, my parents or even your Mom. Trust me. We are going to forget about him now. He will be behind bars by the time we are home. Now let's not waste another breath talking about that asshole. Agreed?" I nod and smile back at him. He's right. Christian knows how to do security! I have no doubt that he is now ramping it up to the eyeballs for everyone. It is time to enjoy our last night in London.

Back at the hotel I call Mom again. She seems very pleased with herself. It seems a very tall and hansom gentleman called Chris Patterson arrived at 9am. She squeals with delight as she describes her "bodyguard". When I call Kate, she is full of apologies but I reassure her that she did the right thing calling Christian first. I thank her. She has been in to see Ray and she confirms his bad temper, not improved any by the presence of David George, another personal protection officer. Kate has a woman called Holloway, she doesn't know her first name.

Christian and I order steak for supper. Thanks to my husband's interventions, my new regime has predictably gone to pot. I don't know why it bothers me, my life right now feels like it is in free fall and there seems to be nothing I can do to get a grip on it. I want to get home where I can take a little control back again.

After supper I'm exhausted. Christian wants to make a few calls and after running me a bath he disappears into the study with Taylor. I know that they will be discussing Hyde, with Welch, Ryan, and the police probably. Christian is more concerned than he looks. I know it. It's like I said, Hyde is a wounded animal, and he has nothing left to lose.

I wake after a restless night at 6.30. I can hear Christian in the shower. I feel an underlying tension. I'm unable to relax. There is just too much to worry about. I join him in the bathroom in the hope of feeling a little calmer. Shrugging my nightgown off my shoulders and stepping out of it; I slip into the shower behind him. "Ana, sweetheart you should be sleeping. You had a bad night."

"I can sleep on the plane. I want to get home. I need to see dad. I feel bad for putting him through all this."

"Putting him through what exactly? You've done nothing"

"I've brought this on him. I went to work for Hyde and I am the reason he lost his job at SIP. I'm the reason Dad got locked in a storeroom all night and I'm the reason he has to tolerate the constant attentions of a personal protection officer. I know Ray Steele well enough to understand how much that will tick him off."

"I hope you know me well enough to realize how much hearing you talk like that is likely to tick me off Anastasia. Let's have breakfast."

Two maids arrive to pack for us while Barrett serves us a hearty English breakfast of bacon, eggs and sausages, tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. I have no appetite for it. I can see Christian watching me as I stare blankly at my plate. "What's the problem Ana?" he asks, but not in the usual, commanding tone of voice he uses when he's annoyed about my appetite. He speaks softly, tenderly. I feel an unwelcome knot rise in my throat. I suppress it. I will not cry. "Christian, I'm not hungry."

"I know. I know how it works with you Ana. When you are stressed, you don't eat. I've seen it. There is no reason to get upset about it. We have a long day ahead. You can't skip meals, but you don't have to eat that if it's going to stress you out more. Here, have some granola, and yogurt and maybe a banana."

I'd rather just skip breakfast altogether, but I don't. I smile at Christian, and feel the knot in my throat dissipate. This is the first time Christian has made a concession to me regarding food and I'm touched by this acknowledgement. He knows I am having a hard time.

We reach Heathrow Airport at around 9am and quickly board the GEH jet. By 10 we are in the air. I occupy myself with reading. Christian works on his laptop, makes a few calls, but I am aware he is watching me closely. I can feel his concern for me. He is trying not to appear worried about me, and trying to appear unconcerned about the Hyde situation. I am trying my best to conceal how stressed I feel, how guilty, how frightened, but I am aware that Christian has always been able to read me like a book. My body language and my face conspire to reveal to him the high level of anxiety that is threatening to overwhelm me.

We arrive at Sea Tac at 8pm English time, midday in Seattle. The Grey Machine works smoothly as ever and we are unloaded and on our way to Escala quickly. It is raining. I am in a world of my own, starring out of the window. Christian takes my hand and kisses it. "Ana, when we've freshened up we're going straight over to the hospital to see your Dad. Everything is going to be fine. Please try not to worry."

We pull up outside Escala, and anxious to get inside, I open the door of the SUV and dive out into the rain before Christian comes around and open the door for me as is his usual habit. I run through the doors into the large lobby. The lobby is busy with people as usual, especially as it is raining. Once inside I brush the rain off my face and jacket and spin around to face the door I have just come through, and look up for Christian who should be right behind me. What I see is not what I expect. Christian has a look of horror on his face. Taylor and Dexter are running towards me no, past me, there is shouting, a woman screams, Christian is running at me like a freight train. He jumps through the air at me like a football player, trying to take me down. There's an ear splitting bag, and another. The next thing I know, I am on my back on the floor, winded, Christian on top of me. I try to sit up, but I'm stopped. "STAY DOWN". It's Taylor's voice. I manage to crane my neck to look behind me. There is a fierce struggle going on, and blood on the floor, I see blood! Christian pulls me towards him and towards a couch. Staying down, he shelters us behind the back of the couch, holding me tight for fear I might try to get up I guess. Then we hear the words we are longing to hear "We've got him Mr Grey. We've got Hyde".


	21. Chapter 21 - Discharged

It's been twelve days since we got back from London. Twelve days can change so much. Hyde is locked up and we can forget about him until his trial. His Arraignment hearing was Friday last week. I insisted on being there. He looked tiny and pathetic in the courtroom. He kept twitching and fidgeting in an unnatural way. I think he really might have lost his mind. Laughably he pleaded not guilty. His trial won't start until next year.

He stole the gun he had at Escala that day. He walked in off the street and waited for us in the lobby. Nobody really noticed this skinny, desperate man in his raincoat until he was pointing a gun at me. I don't know how long he waited, or what risks he took to get there. He had nothing more to lose. I guess he was going to shoot me, right in front of Christian. I do not dwell on that fact, nor on how close he came to hitting his mark.

We have enjoyed a blissfully uneventful few days. Irene is due to be discharged from hospital today after the operation on her wounded shoulder. That bullet really made a mess, but it could have been so much worse. I have a truck load of respect for that lady. Christian is giving her all of October and some of November off to recuperate.

Of course Dad is also being discharged today and I am meeting with my doctor who I am hoping will finally take my brace off. It is going to be quite a family gathering at the hospital today.

I am enjoying the more relaxed security, and looking forward to getting my car keys back once this damn brace comes off. I have applied for my MBA course. I decided to apply for both Seattle and Washington University to give myself the best chance of success. The only fly in the ointment is that I still haven't talked to Christian about doing an MBA. We've been getting on so well that I didn't want to rock the boat, and now, I know he will flip. The time just never seems to be right.

I have a new Blackberry. As far as Christian was concerned, the other one was tainted by Hyde. I never saw it again after Christian gave it to Taylor to 'deal with' in London.

I have been enjoying work, especially now I don't have to take my entourage onto the shop floor! I get dropped off, I get picked up. If I need to go out I just let Sawyer, Taylor or Christian know and that's all. I always have a protection officer somewhere near, but not right next to me, not right outside my office. In comparison to the tight reign I was on prior to Hyde's arrest, it feels like freedom.

I have also made some headway in feeling a little more in control of my life in the shape of my diet. Mrs Jones fixes me a simple breakfast each morning and knows I want small portions. I deal with my lunch myself, discarding what I don't want, eating only what I do want. For dinner, I take small portions again but bulk out my plate with salad when possible and spread out my food to look like more than maybe it is. It seems to be working at any rate and Christian seems satisfied. I have even lost a little puppy fat, which I like. Christian often comments that he thinks I've lost a little weight, but seems satisfied when I placate him with promises that I haven't, that I'm just making and effort to tone up a little more. He sees me eating enough to persuade him that I am not dieting at all. I am liking the way I look more, although I think my arms and legs and butt are still fatter than I'd like.

The one thing Christian and I have had words about is Flynn. Christian is convinced that I need to see him. He thinks the stress I have been under since Hyde first broke into the apartment has taken its toll. I guess I am still not sleeping so well, but since I got on top of my diet, I feel much better in myself. I guess I have my own control issues just like Christian, it's just mine centre on self control, not on controlling everything and everyone around me!

This morning Taylor dropped me at SIP before taking Christian to Grey House. We are meeting at the Hospital for my appointment with Dr. Cooper. He wanted to be there when dad is discharged. Jose has insisted on coming to Seattle to drive Dad back home. I guess he and Mr Rodriguez still feel bad about the accident. I suspect that Jose's presence is the real reason for Christian's insistence on being there.

I have spent the morning preparing for my monthly meeting with Roach. Christian is now actively working on a plan to restructure SIP into Grey Publishing and Roach is thinking towards the no doubt overgenerous retirement package that Christian is dangling in front of him. This makes my MBA course infinitely more urgent. I have no desire to take over the business side of SIP. I want a creative role, but I need to understand how it works. I can't even read a balance sheet properly. I refuse let Christian steamroller me. He will end up being my line manager if I am not on the ball. If I am going to run this company editorially and delegate the business management, I need to know what I'm looking for and I'm not about to let Christian mentor me. I remember when ray tried to teach me to drive. Never again.

I reach into the paper lunch bag Mrs Jones packs for me most days and, as usual, discard the sandwich, divide the banana in two, discarding one half and open up the low fat, hazelnut yogurt. As I eat it, half teaspoon by half teaspoon, I notice a new email from Christian.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Running late

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.

**To:** Anastasia Grey

We have small crisis emerging over here that I need to deal with. I won't make your appointment. I'm sorry. I will meet you at 3.45. What time is the boy due to arrive?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Boy? Oh boy

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.18pm

**To:** Christian Grey

You will be pleased to hear that you have interrupted my lunch.

I should be finished with Dr Cooper by 3.15. JOSE is meeting me around that time. We will go help Dad pack. Call me when you are on your way.

I hope said crisis it's nothing serious.

A xx

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Wasting Away

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.25pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I am glad to hear you are enjoying your lunch. I am famished but will be forced to wait until my lunch meeting at 1.30. It will not be a patch on one of Mrs Jones' subs.

I will do my best to get there a little earlier and help you pack.

Crisis nothing for you to worry about; although it may require an overseas trip later this week.

I will call when I am at the hospital.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Domestic Help

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.31pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Since when does Christian Grey pack?

Your jealousy is flattering, but you know you have nothing to worry about regarding Jose so please do not feel you need to rush.

I am certain anyone preparing lunch for Christian Grey will ensure it is exquisite.

Ana

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

From our email chain I can see that it has taken me precisely 15 minutes to consume one small hazelnut yogurt. I smile, content with my achievement. Today, I feel in total control and consequently, I am uncharacteristically pleased with myself.

Old Roach has all but given up in my opinion. I have the distinct feeling that he is not listening to a word I say in out meeting at 1 o'clock. I can't blame him really, but I am in no hurry to step into his CEO shoes!

At the hospital I have to rush to make my X-ray at 2.10. Doctor Cooper sees me at 2.35. He has my latest X-ray in front of him on his laptop. By 3pm, I find I have cause to celebrate. My brace has finally gone. My arm feels weird and looks puny, but Dr Cooper is happy that the fracture has healed beautifully. He gives me a sheet of exercises to follow, in order to build the muscles back up. Tonight, I promise myself, I am going to make Christian give me my car keys back. Tomorrow, I want to drive to work!

While I wait for Jose, I'll email Christian.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Full working order

**Date:** October 10th 2011 3.02pm

**To:** Christian Grey

As of 10 minutes ago, you have a fully functioning wife again! Do you wanna put me through my paces later?

A ;)

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Full working order

**Date:** October 10th 2011 3.05pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I would like to test your functionality right now, but fear arrest.

I am in the car. Will be with you in 5

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Eager

**Date:** October 10th 2011 3.06pm

**To:** Christian Grey

You are early! By any chance have you curtailed your schedule because of your overwhelming urge to protect me from Jose? I doubt he is going to try and jump me in the hospital, in front of my dad! I think he still makes you jealous Mr Grey.

By the way, I would like to drive my car to work tomorrow. Please?

A xxx

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Envy

**Date:** October 10th 2011 3.09pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I have nothing to be jealous of because everything I have ever wanted is mine already.

What a shame you lost your driving privileges.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **MY car

**Date:** October 10th 2011 3.12pm

**To:** Christian Grey

It's been weeks... You can't still be mad at me and my wrist is all better. Pretty Please

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** your DRIVING SKILLS

**Date:** October 10th 2011 3.15pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

It's not that easy. If you care to remember, it was not the fractured wrist that lost you your car keys.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

** From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Alternatives?

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.31pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I object! Give me a different punishment?

Ana

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Careful what you wish for

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.25pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Don't tempt me.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

P.S. If I took you up on your suggestion, I'd have to make sure the tenderness of your behind when you sat down would be an adequate reminder to drive responsibly.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **You know you want to

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.31pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Tempting you is my job.

Ax

P.S. There isn't much I wouldn't do to get my car back. If memory serves, the R8's seats are nicely padded.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Objections overruled

**Date:** October 10th 2011 12.33pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Tempting as it is to commute your sentence, I am sticking firm.

The answer is still no.

Christian Grey

Firm but fair, husband & CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Hmmm, this may be more difficult than I thought! Just as I am wondering what I am going to reply, Jose arrives. He greets me with a bear hug, sweeping me off my feet.

"Hi Ana, Whao, Doesn't the billionaire feed you? You got so skinny again!"

_Shut up Jose! _I slap him hard on his biceps, trying to get him to put me down, and losing a shoe in the process.

"You are just jealous that I'm in such great shape Rodriguez! I suggest you put me down now before the aforementioned billionaire punches your lights out" I say, indicating with my eyes and a nod of my head that Christian is walking towards us along the corridor behind him.

Jose turns, without releasing me, swinging me round so my back is to Christian. I try to pull my dress back down my thigh as I feel it riding up, revealing my stocking tops. _Jeez, Jose, as if Christian won't be pissed enough already to arrive and find you swinging me around in your arms, do you really have to display my butt to everyone on the 4th floor? You are playing with fire!_

"Mr Rodriguez" Christian greets him as he approaches, his voice solid and expressionless. Christian holds out his hand in front of him in that familiar gesture of welcome. I understand well enough that Christian's hand shake is nothing to do with welcomes, and everything to do with making him put me down; PRONTO!

As Christian and Jose exchange stilted pleasantries, I readjust my clothes, reaching down to retrieve and replace my shoe. As I straighten up, Christian hooks me possessively around my waist as pulls me tight to his side. If his grip wasn't so firm I would fall right off my heel!

We make our way down to Dads room. The packing is done and he is clearly itching to go. Christian and Jose take Dads bags between them. I roll my eyes, another pissing contest, this time over luggage.

Christian and I wave Dad and Jose off in the parking lot. Jose can't resist another bear hug and I can feel the heat of fury radiate from Christian as he does so. Of course, to the onlooker, Christian is the very model of composure. I feel a little weepy saying goodbye to Dad. I so nearly lost him, twice. As the car pulls away, I clench my teeth tight trying to hold back the floodgates. A single tear trails its way across my cheek; and is quickly brushed away.

"Are you okay baby?" Christian's mood swinging from fury to tenderness in that way that he has mastered so adeptly

"I'm good Christian. All the better for having you here. Thank you" I crane my neck towards him and he obliges, leaning towards me with a kiss.

"I'd like to just go see if Irene has left yet Christian if that's okay?"

"Irene?" he looks genuinely confused

"Dexter, Irene Dexter for Gods sake. You probably know where she was born, her shoe size and her Moms birth date but you don't know her first name?" I say rolling my eyes at him.

"Mrs Grey, after tempting me and my twitching palms so mercilessly earlier, are you sure you want to risk rolling your eyes?" I smile up at him, a smile that comes from deep inside me, a smile that makes me tingle makes my cheeks flush slightly.

"Yes sir, I'm sure"


	22. Chapter 22 : Confronted

At home that evening I barely get a chance to talk to Christian. Whatever is going down at GEH is going down now! He spends 3 hours holed up in his study. All I hear is the occasional high volume expletive. I eat my dinner alone, which at least gives me the opportunity to avoid overeating. My appetite now is tiny so I really don't feel hungry at all.

When Christian emerges he looks dejected. "Christian, what's going on, is this serious?"

"Nothing that can't be fixed baby, but I'm pretty pissed right now… I need to fly out to Hong Kong; tonight."

"Oh..." I don't want him to go, but I don't want him to feel bad… a lot of people rely on Christian and I'm not so stupid and selfish as to put my disappointment before their livelihoods! "I'll be okay Christian. But I'll miss you." I try not to sound as disappointed as I am. "Hong Kong is an awfully big trip. How long will you be away?"

"We will stop in Beijing for 24 hours. We have to smooth out some legal problems with the government, then Hong Kong for two, probably more like three days. I don't expect I'll be home until the weekend. I'm sorry baby."

I stand on tiptoe and kiss him. "It's okay… Can I ask you a question though?"

"Of course Ana, what?"

"Can I have please have my car keys?" It's worth a try! Now he feels guilty maybe he will relent. His face splits into a wide grin. "NO" and emphasises his position with a slap on my ass. "Come help me pack a bag baby" and he pulls me behind him into our bedroom.

Christian practically falls on me, kissing me as if we have not touched for weeks. We make love on top of our bed urgently, fuelled in the knowledge that we will be separated for maybe a week. I am lost in lust; in the passion of our need for each other.

After straightening our clothes, I help him pack, gathering socks and underwear into a leather hold all. He does not to want a shower; he says he doesn't want to wash away the scent of me. He packs four suits and several shirts and silk ties into leather, Louis Vuitton suit carriers. I enjoy watching him. He may not pack for himself often but he is meticulous. I like this. It feels ordinary, and 'ordinary' is an increasingly rare experience.

Christian takes his luggage into the great room while I go into our bathroom to pack his shaving kit and other toiletries. While he is out of the room, I slip off my mink coloured silk and lace panties and conceal them into a pocket in his toiletry bag, knowing that when he finds them, it with drive him wild! He returns to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him and calling out for me.

"Ana, come here baby, Taylor is loading up the car. I want to talk to you before I go."

I come in with the toiletry bag, and hand it to him. "Here you go, I packed these for you. Now what mysteries do you feel the need to reveal to me oh Lord and Master?"

"Very funny" he says as I sit on the bed next to him.

"I'm sorry I have to go with such short notice."

"IT IS FINE. I have tons of stuff to catch up with at work and it'll give me a chance to see Kate, Mia maybe, and maybe fit in a couple of extra sessions with Claude." He looks at me for a moment and I sense a note of disapproval in his stare, but I ignore it. "Ana, about your car. I have given it some thought and decided that when I get back, I'm going to take you on an advanced driving course. I've wanted to do it for a while. I took a course on Taylor's suggestion when I hired him. It is a good idea for woman in your position to acquire certain, additional driving skills if you are going to insist of driving yourself."

" 'A woman in my position?'…" I question suppressing giggles "… what position is that exactly Christian? Is this just an excuse to make me take my driving test again? I know you don't like the way I drive, but jeez, this is insulting!" I say, feigning taking offence with a twinkle in my eye.

"You know I think your driving technique is… questionable, but this is not about that. You need to learn how to drive with security, and you need to learn how to drive safely at speed. I doubt you ever got Wanda above 30mph!" He says referring to my old VW Beetle "_HOW DARE YOU_ insult Wanda!" I say, covering my face with my hands melodramatically in mock indignation.

"Seriously Ana, you are a potential target now, and you are not… well equipped -experience wise to handle a powerful car, never mind a kidnap scenario. The whole Hyde thing has put fact in sharp focus for me."

"Okay, if it'll get you to give me my keys back… what does it involve?"

"It'll give you some techniques to help you in certain crisis scenarios, speed driving, evasion, things like that. It'll give you some tactics if you feel you are being followed, or if you want to help the good guys follow you more easily. Also driving in ice or heavy rain; all sorts of things. It's quite fun actually. I will give you your car back as soon as you've completed the course. I hope you understand baby, I'm just not comfortable with you driving yourself until then. It's for your safety. Okay?"

I squint my eyes at him, then smile and nod. "Okay, seems fair Mr Grey. I accept your terms."

I rise as if to leave but he gently takes my hand and pulls me back down beside him.

"That's not quite all Ana." _Here we go!_ My subconscious sneers. _Prepare yourself for the 'behave yourself while I'm away' lecture! _He hesitates a while, and looks into my eyes as if trying to see deep inside my thoughts, before he speaks.

"Ana you have to promise me you'll eat properly while I'm away. You aren't just toning up you are losing weight. You look like you've gone down a cup size in a week!"

"Oh I see, trust you to focus on my breasts! Anyway, that is a gross exaggeration Christian." I say, not faking indignation this time.

"No Anastasia it is not. Don't think I haven't noticed. And it isn't just your breasts, but the change in them is most obvious. Your bra doesn't fit properly any more… Baby, I get that you have had a lot of stress this last month and I know that your appetite is the first thing that goes when you feel that way but Ana, I think this is different. I think you are deliberately controlling your food and I to confess it scares the hell out of me. I'm not going to let you carry on or you are going to end up in real trouble"

"This is ridiculous Christian!"

"No it's not. I spoke to Kate about it too."

"YOU SPOKE TO KATE?!"

"I was worried! She didn't say much. I get the impression she has observed the same patterns in you at college though. She seemed to recognise what I was talking about." I remain silent. I don't know what to say. Sure, in my second year, when I was having a hard time with my American Poetry tutor, I lost nearly 11 pounds in three weeks trying to deal with my stress. It's just a coping mechanism. _At least I don't turn to drink, or drugs indulge in weird, loveless, contracted, sado-masochistic sexual arrangements and megalomania! _I can't quite bring myself to share my subconscious dig at Christian with him.

Kate called my Dad in the end. It was no big deal. Not even Kate knows about what happened when Mom was married to Steve Morton. I try to forget that time in my life ever happened. That time at college, I started eating normally again and it was forgotten about, at least I thought it was forgotten!

"I have a good mind to call your parents… As it is I spoke to John Flynn yesterday."

"You what!?"

"Don't fly off the handle Ana. I told you, I've been worried about you. You've been through a lot in short time. You haven't been sleeping well for weeks and now you are losing weight. We need to get a grip of this before it becomes a problem. I want you to go see Flynn while I'm away. He's expecting you to call."

"Will it shut you up if I agree?"

"No. But it will make me feel a little better. I have told Mrs Jones to make sure you eat properly. She _will_ tell me if you don't"

"You have asked Gail to spy on me?"

"Not just Gail. And actually Ana, Gail approached me. She is fond of you and she's been worried. She isn't stupid."

I feel myself blush and unwelcome tears well. I didn't think anyone would notice.

"I just want to get a little control over my life… sometimes, it's been… overwhelming"

I try my hardest to hold my tears in. As I blink, heavy tears fall into my lap and I quickly wipe my eyes with the back of my hands."

"We will deal with this together. Meantime, promise you will eat." I can't answer him. I am biting my lip and holding my breath in order to hold onto my emotions. He puts his arm around my shoulder. With his other hand he grasps my chin, forcing me to look up at him. This talk has made me uneasy, like not normal 'do as you are told' Christian, I think he thinks I might be going nuts!

"Anastasia, I'm serious. I need you to promise."

"Okay… okay. I'll try"

"You'll do better than try. Breakfast, lunch and supper, that is all I'm asking for. If I wasn't flying out to Hong Kong tonight, I'd be marching you to Flynn myself… I don't want to be marching you to a psych ward when I get back. We need to get a grip of this before you get sick. Now promise, breakfast, lunch and supper every day."

"I promise."

He leans over and kisses me, smiling. "Anastasia Grey, you are the most perfect woman in the world. I mean to keep you that way. You keep that promise. I have spies looking out for you all over the place. So help me, if you fuck around with this promise, I'm going to turn you over my knee and spank seven shades of shit out of you!". He looks so serious it makes me giggle! His threat is comforting in its familiarity. I don't like all this talk of shrinks. Avoiding spanking I can deal with!

"I get the message Christian. I don't need a shrink, and I don't need a spanking. I'll eat. I promise."

We say our goodbyes in the great room. I can tell he doesn't want to leave me so I do my very best happy face. "I mean it Ana, I'll know if you aren't eating properly."

I don't doubt it Christian, now go, it's late. I love you."

Once he has gone, I go run a bath. I inspect myself in the mirror. Sure - I've lost a little weight, but I honestly think I look better. I knew Christian would make a huge fuss which is why I have to be so careful about him watching my food. I certainly feel better, physically and mentally. Shit, this is going to be tricky.

I sleep badly and when I wake I forget for a moment that Christian is not here. It is 7.30. I dress and head into the kitchen feeling a little lonely. Mrs Jones has laid out orange juice, granola, yogurt, and is boiling water and making toast. She makes me tea and offers to poach me an egg.

"Gail, has Christian asked you to tell him what I have for breakfast?"

"Ana, I'm sorry. This feels awkward, but yes, he's asked me to send him regular updates. You know, it must be hard sometimes living with Mr Grey's quirks around eating. I know your normal appetite isn't huge and I know what he is like about food, but I also know you're not eating enough and haven't been for a couple of weeks now. It really is none of my business, except I care about you. Are you going to have that egg?"

I smile. "I guess I'd better. And please don't feel Awkward. I understand."

I am damned if I am going to give up control of my diet, but I will make sure that I don't rub Christians nose in it, or put Gail in a difficult position.

Sawyer takes me to SIP as usual. There is a stack of mail waiting for me. As I sift through I pull out two letters, one from Seattle University and one from Washington! Wow! Both have called me in for interview! I ring straight away and arrange my interviews for Friday. I want to get them out of the way before Christian gets home. I'm so excited.

As usual I open several letters from students, writers, wannabe writers, all hoping for help or advice of a meeting. I make it policy to read them all just in case there is ever something in them, but there rarely is anything of any interest. I hand them on to Hannah to deal with and go fix her a coffee and me a tea. I hand Hannah her coffee and she stops me a moment,

"Ana, Claire and I are going out in Pike Market tonight. Tolly, Raoche's PA is coming, Kathy, Kirsty and Ben."

"Is Ben that gay guy who just started in HR?"

"Yeah, he's a scream! And Kathy and Kirsty are both subs."

I nearly spit my tea out! She means sub-editors or course and luckily she won't get the joke! "Yeah I know Kathy quite well, but I haven't worked much with Kirsty much. She seems quite off the wall!"

"Kirsty? Well she has an… unusual dress sense, but she's cool. I'm sure you'll like her. I think she really wants to write novels herself. There is a whole crowd of people coming. Do you wanna come?"

"Um, well, yeah, I would I think. I'll have to clear it with security. Um… Hannah, are Samantha or Stephanie invited? Mr Sawyer will need to know if they are"

" I doubt Sam is. I don't know about Stephanie. I'll ask Claire. Is that a problem?"

"No, I don't think so, just…. You know, want to be prepared!"

"Oh and Ana, um, I feel a little awkward asking but, is it okay if Mr Grey doesn't come? It kind of freaks everyone out to have the big boss hanging around!"

"He's in Hong Kong so no chance of him rocking up to surprise us! Don't feel awkward… I totally get it!"

I get back to my desk and open the last of the mail. There is a hand written letter. Do I recognise the handwriting? Looks familiar but I can't quite place it.

_Dear Anastasia_

_It has been a long time! I am living in California_ _these days._

_How is Mom? Still with that loser, Bob isn't it? _

_You know I never thought you'd amount to much, but I have to give you credit where it is due; you scored a blinder with that Grey guy. Who would have thought a scrawny little thing like you would grow up all rich and famous and manicured. I wouldn't have recognised you, especially since you got so much fatter! _

_About a month ago I had a visit from a former colleague of yours who tracked me down. Seems he went to a lot of effort! He certainly was pissed with you and your sugar daddy. I told him a bit about you, about some of your "problems", and about what you did, how I saved you from jail. Actually, I got a letter from him last week. Seems he's in jail now! What a strange world we live in. _

_He encouraged me to write to you. Even gave me this address. Told me not to address it to you though, said you have crazy security, so I sent it to some other chick and got her to pass it on. If you are reading this I guess it was a successful precaution. What a guy that Jack Hyde is! _

_To get down to brass tacks, I could do with a little cash. I would like to say you owe me, but in case you disagree, I thought perhaps I'd provide an incentive. I am pretty certain there are things about your medical history you wouldn't want me to share with your husband, or the press. And pictures… I still have plenty of pictures you probably you'd rather I didn't share. So think about that Anastasia. I'll I'm asking for is a little cash, to compensate me for all the trauma you put me through when I was with your Mom. We could have been alright if it wasn't for you. How about a nice round $500,000 for the trauma, and another $500,000 for me to keep my silence. I'll even send you my photographs. I have enclosed one just to remind you what I have._

_Looking forward to hearing from you_

_Your old Step Dad, Steve._

A photograph has fallen onto my desk. It is of Mom and Steve, looking happy, his arms around her sitting on a beach. Sitting next to them in a bikini is my 15 year old self. I look emaciated. My cheeks are hollow and my skin is grey. My hair is lank and I look so sad. I was so sad. And helpless. Steve tried to crush me. Soon after this, after a stint on a specialist Psych ward, I went to live with my Dad.

Why now? Why the fuck is this happening now? I can't let Christian see this. If he knew… He'd never let me out of his sight again, or worse, if he finds out what I haven't told him, after I forced him to tell me everything about his past, he might not trust me any more,. He might not want me. I can't let him know about what really happened Steven Morton. Not ever.


	23. Chapter 23 : History Repeats

My Blackberry vibrates on my desk singing out 'your love is king". I hesitate before answering. I need to pull myself together. Christian always knows when I'm upset.

"Hi, how was the flight?"

"Long. We're here now. I'm going to have a few hours to work at the hotel before light, then I got meetings. What did you have for breakfast baby?"

"I'm pretty sure you know what I had for breakfast."

"yes I do."

"Just so you know, I am going out with some of the guys from work in Pike Market tonight. It won't be late. We'll eat. You don't have to worry."

Christian responds with predictable silence, before proffering an response

"Make sure you brief Sawyer as soon as possible. You go have a good time."

"Who is this, and what have you done with Christian Grey?"

"He's here Anastasia, you'll see him soon enough, especially if you don't eat tonight or get hammered again!"

"I'll behave."

"Are you okay baby, is something wrong?" _How does he do that?_

"I'm fine. What makes you ask?"

"hmmm, just something Ana. Tell me baby, what is it?"

"...I just missed you this morning."

"I'm glad you miss me. I miss you too. Are you sure that's all it is?"

"perfectly sure." I can hear Taylor in the background clearing his throat to get Christians attention.

"Okay. I gotta go now baby. I'll call later. Look after yourself Anastasia. I mean it"

"Of course I will. I love you. Bye"

Suddenly I feel my bottom lip wobble and I an overwhelmed with loneliness.

For the rest of the day I busy myself with work. Hannah pops in and tells me that Stephanie probably is coming tonight but not Samantha. Apparently fighting with the boss's wife in front of the boss did not go down well with Claire who isn't talking to Samantha. Stephanie... oh Joy!

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Girlie Chat

**Date: **October 11th 2011 4.16pm

**To:** Kate Kavanagh

Hi Kate.

With Christian away I'm at a loose end and feeling blue. You free this week. Could do with a girls night in. I can come to you?

Ana

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

**From:** Kate Kavanagh

**Subject:** Blues

**Date:** October 11th 2011 4.24pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Sure Ana

What's up? How about Wednesday? I gotta work late tomorrow, and meeting Elliot tonight to talk wedding.

I'll get us Chinese food. Okay?

Kate x

Katherine Kavanagh

Seattle Times

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Blues

**Date: **October 11th 2011 4.31pm

**To:** Kate Kavanagh

I'll grab a bite before I come. 7.30 okay?

Would it be okay if I sleep over?

Ana x

Anastasia Grey

Editor SIP

**From:** Kate Kavanagh

**Subject:** Slumber party

**Date:** October 11th 2011 4.35pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

No problem. Make sure you DO grab that bite though. Christian will chew my ear off if you don't!

Kate x

Katherine Kavanagh

Seattle Times

I want more than anything to call Christian back. I want to curl up in his lap where nothing can hurt me. I want him to make Steve go away, just disappear in the way problems do when Christian wants them to. I want him to hold me and tell me not to worry. But I can't. I don't achieve very much that afternoon. I contemplate calling the number Steve put at the bottom of the letter. I contemplate talking to Sawyer. I contemplate calling Christian. I dismiss each idea in turn, crystallizing the stark fact that I am on my own with this one; I need to figure this out myself. I feel frightened, hopeless and for utterly alone.

Hannah leaves work at the normal time. I hang around a bit, getting my shit together. I call Gail and tell her I am eating out. Despite my promise, I can't eat. I feel so mixed up and worried I have zero appetite. This is not about me being in control this time - nothing to do with my new regime, which feels a bit stupid right now. I feel too sick with worry to stomach food. I need to be careful that Christian doesn't think I'm being defiant. I decide to put in a call to Dr. Flynn's office. I schedule an appointment for tomorrow after work. I know this will please Christian.

At 6.15, the phone on my desk rings.

"Anastasia Grey"

"Baby, you're still at work? You didn't answer your Blackberry."

"Oh, sorry. It's in my purse. I guess I didn't hear it… I'm going to go and meet Hannah and the others soon… I just wanted to tidy a few things up here first."

"Are you okay baby? You sound… distant"

"I am distant… the other side of the world in fact..." I say, trying and I suspect failing to sound light and breezy. "…I miss you Christian." I am now fighting to quell tears and keep the unmistakable sound of emotion out of my voice. I bite down hard on my lip.

"What's wrong Ana. Has something happened? Did you call Flynn? If you didn't call him I'm calling him and sending him over."

"Calm down, I called him. I'm seeing him tomorrow. I'm okay. It's just hearing your voice. I miss you. That's all." He is silent for a moment. I don't think he believes my reassurances.

"Anastasia, you need to tell me if there is something bothering you. I am worried"

"Of course. There is nothing."

"Anastasia! Tell me the truth." He says firmly in that oh so familiar tone that makes my stomach flip and carries the clear Message '_do not mess with me'_.

"I miss you Christian. I had a hard day at work, I didn't sleep well and I'm tired. I'm fine, nothing happened that you need to worry about, I'm gonna go out with some friends and relax a little. I AM FINE." His momentary pause speaks volumes. I know doesn't believe me. I know he will be straight on the phone to Sawyer, to Flynn, probably Kate too.

"If I were there I'd make you tell me. _FUCK_." He curses quietly but with force and I know he is finding his frustration hard to handle.

"Please don't be mad. I promise I'm fine."

"Sweetheart, I'm not mad. I'm worried. I know there is something…" He sighs "…You relax tonight; and BEHAVE Anastasia or so help me I'll…" I cut him off

"I will Christian, I'll behave. I'll call you later. Please don't worry… Just come home soon"

"I'll try baby. I miss you too. Don't think this conversation is over. I know when you are hiding things from me and I don't like it."

The bar is buzzing people. I find Hannah Claire, Ben, Kathy and the others quickly. Annoyingly Stephanie is there, but, forewarned this does not throw me. I sit with the others who are diving into plates of nachos and bowls of olives and Macadamia nuts. As soon as I arrive, Stephanie shoots me one of her looks and leans over to whisper something in Claire's ear. From the look on her face I know it's something nasty. I offer to get the drinks in and order 2 pitchers of beer and 2 pitchers of Margarita. I have a spritza, I am not making that mistake again.

The chatter is frenetic, high pitched and just not what I want right now. I'd rather be anywhere but here. Stephanie cannot help but look at me like a piece of shit on her shoe at every opportunity! I ignore this up to a point, but eventually I reach my limit and decide to make my excuses and leave. I take my blackberry out of my purse and message Sawyer, who is waiting in a seat close to the entrance of the bar, to get the car ready. I walk over to Hannah, to make quietly say my goodbyes. "Hey, Hannah, I'm going to shoot."  
"You Okay Ana? You've been awfully quiet."

"Yes I'm okay, just a little off colour. I need to go home. And Hannah..."  
"Yes?"  
"I hope what I'm about to do doesn't tick you or Claire off too much..."  
"What?" she questions, and I give her a wink, before walking over to Stephanie.  
"Stephanie, I don't know if the Margarita's are a little sharp for you, perhaps that is why you have such a persistently sour face? Or perhaps it is just your personality. In any case, I understand from my husband that you really have no reason to be pissed off with anyone. Lose the attitude Stephanie."  
I 'accidentally' pour the last of my spritza into her lap "... Oh I am so sorry! Well I guess I was wrong! You DO has good reason to be pissed with me after all. Dear me, you look like you peed your pants! How embarrassing for you!"  
Just as I think she might confront me, Sawyer is by my side and I leave the bar with him. I catch a glance at Hannah as I leave. She is open mouthed. I give her a wink and manage to make out her mouthing the words _"good job"_ I leave.

Ryan is waiting on the kerb outside in the SUV. When we get home, I go straight to our bedroom and fire up my Mac book, hoping for a message from Christian.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Forgive me

**Date:** October 11th 2011 8.25pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I have moved your appointment with Flynn. He will be stopping by Escala at 8.30am tomorrow. I know you will be mad, but I need to know you are okay.

I love you

Christian Grey

Worried Husband & CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Forgiven

**Date:** October 11th 2011 10.32pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I am not mad. I know how you feel and I'm sorry I can't convince you that I'm fine. Really I am. I just miss you. The bed feels awfully big empty.

Kissing you goodnight

Your Ana

Just as Christian knows I'm hiding something, I know he is frantic. Separation is painful enough for him. I need to sort this situation out. I need to sort myself out. I go into the kitchen in search of soup. I look in the refrigerator. I pick up a hunk of cucumber and half-heartedly take a bite. I can't face this. I want to crawl into a dark hole and disappear. Instead, I crawl into an empty bed and cry myself into a restless sleep.

I wake early and watch the sun come up from my bed. I rise and dress without showering. I scrape my lank hair into a pony tail and pull on some jeans. I don't feel good. I don't want to go to work today. I want the world outside to go away. I want Christian. I don't want to face Claire, or Hannah. At 8.20 I pick up my Blackberry and call Roach. I tell him I have strep throat. He can email me with anything urgent. I will send Sawyer over to the office to pick up the manuscripts on my desk so I can keep up with my reading at least.

Right on time, at 8.30am Dr John Flynn arrives.

I take him to the library.

After extended and awkward greetings and dancing around the issue, John, ever the professional gently coaxes me into confession.

"I've been in a hurricane John; for months. Sometimes I'm so confused I don't know who I am."

"You have been through a lot of changes in a short time. And trauma. It is hardly surprising you are experiencing confusion. Are you sleeping?"

"Barely."

"Ana, you don't look well. You have lost a lot of weight. You know, anything we talk about is confidential. I could never nor would I ever discuss it with Christian"

We continue to talk for an hour. I admit to him that I have been controlling my food intake and that it has helped me feel less like a run away freight train. I also admit to him something I have not discussed with another person. I guess the letter from my former stepfather and the discussion with Christian before he left, have pushed it to the front of my mind.

"When I was younger I had a problem with food. I was… quite ill. You know. Now when I feel under pressure, it can help… you know, being in control of what I eat. When I feel out of control.. Emotionally I mean, I can't eat. I was in control, I mean I have been coping with Hyde, with Christian I guess, by controlling my diet. It gave me something to feel good about. I don't like feeling fat. But yesterday... Well something… something came up and now, I have no appetite. I'm frightened John. I just want to crawl away and hide." My tears spill over with my confession.

"Is this related to Christians need to control you?"

"Maybe, a little, but really that has been much better recently. I mean, we came to an arrangement and it seems to work for us. It makes me happy."

"Ana, you know that an eating disorder is for life, and when you have an eating disorder, when you control your food intake in the way you have, it has a profound and detrimental effect. It also affects your thinking. It skews things. I think we need to get a grip of this Ana. You need to eat in order to think. I want to see you again tomorrow, or Thursday. Can you do that?"

"Um, okay. Thursday I can do. I'll come to you Thursday,"

"In the meantime you need to eat Ana; little and often. You know the routine. If you don't start to eat, it's going to make you sick and you won't be able to think. Ana, you know we won't let that happen. Do you understand what I mean?"

I nod. I know exactly what he means. I have been there before. I need to start eating or he will be forced to take me into hospital. I suspect this is what Christian has already suggested to him. What Christian doesn't know is that I know all about this. I have been there before.

Flynn leaves. I go to our bedroom and pull out the letter from Steve that stuffed into my purse. Lying on my bed I wrestle with my memories. Steve Morton – a name I have tried to forget.

My Mom met him at a party not long after she split from Ray. He was tall, about 6'4" with sandy blond hair. He good looking I guess. He must have been in his late 30's. Mom was nuts about him. He used to pick her up and carry her around, and she would giggle like a little girl. I would just roll my eyes. I knew the moment I met him I didn't like him. I was 14. He was bossy with my mom but she seemed to get off on it. I found it humiliating the way he talked to her. I had not long gone through puberty and was a pretty normal kid. In fact I think I was pretty good. I had good grades. I loved reading. I had friends but no real boyfriends. Sure I could be a little bratty and didn't like being bossed about but that's just being a 14 year old girl. I did not like Steve and he knew it. He seemed to enjoy making people uncomfortable. I did not let him boss _me_ about. He hated that.

About a month before they were married, my mom went down to the grocery store and left Steve at home with me. When we were alone I was aware of him watching me; made me feel uncomfortable. He looked at me with a kind of curiosity in a way I found… lecherous. We were in the kitchen and I was unloading the dishwasher. I was aware of him looking; it made me nervous. As I bent down to grab a couple of plates, he came over and patted my behind. I dropped one of the plates and ran up to my room and locked the door. When he came up he was mad. He was yelling that I'd behaved inappropriately. He told me to open the door or he was going to punish me. I didn't. I said nothing. He banged on the door. He said he was going to take off his belt and would take great pleasure in tanning my hind. He meant to make me apologise for what I did! _What I did?!_ I did nothing. When my Mom came home I listened as he told her I threw a plate at him. He said he thought I should be punished but Mom didn't want to let him and after a huge argument, he left. I wasn't sure, but I think I heard him hitting my mom. When I came down after he'd gone, she had no visible marks on her but she seemed upset. Mom and I talked. She made me promise I'd apologise to him. For moms sake I said I would.

After that it was terrible. The threatened me constantly when my mom wasn't listening and seemed to take huge pleasure in it. He tried to find reasons to punish me. Mom would stop him and they would fight. He blamed my mom saying she was incapable of disciplining me and tried to convince her that all I needed was a firm hand, but thank God, mom stood firm. They had terrible fights over me. My Mom never said anything, but I think he used to take it out on her when she wouldn't let him punish me.

That's when I first stopped eating. They didn't even notice at first, I wore loose clothing, sweat pants and t-shirts, hiding my tiny frame from my mom. Steve said I was dishonest. When they got married, I was just 15, and my mom started to notice my weight loss. I was only about 85 pounds by now. The dress she got me for the wedding was way too big and mom was upset. When they came back from honeymoon, I looked worse. Steve told mom he would help me. He would make me strip and take photographs of me in my bra and panties. He said he'd taken professional advice and was keeping a record of my weight loss so he could make sure I wasn't losing more weight. Of course I was. I couldn't eat. He took pictures every day. My mom believed he was trying to help me.

Eventually Steve snapped. He said I was deceitful and selfish. He said he was going to fix it, he was going to make he eat. He fixed a massive peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with a huge glass of coke. Nobody could have eaten it. It was huge made with oversized doorsteps of hand cut bread, layered with butter and peanut butter and jelly and looked disgusting. I just cried. He snapped and said was going to cut a switch from the tree in the back yard. He said I was going to eat that damn sandwich if it was the last thing I did and that I was just trying to get attention; that a firm hand and discipline was all I needed. My mom was screaming at him. He said it was for my own good and he sent my mom upstairs and locked her in their bedroom. He went into the garden. I wasn't going to wait around for him to beat me with a stick and I was not going to be force fed. I ran out front, taking his car keys, and I drove off in his car. I was not a good driver and 3 blocks away I hit parked car. Steve took the blame. Said it was for my Moms sake. That's what he meant by saving me from jail.

I think my mom gave up on me for a moment then. Or maybe she just ran out of strength. Anyway, Mom let him discipline me for that. Just that one time. He bent me over the table in the kitchen, pulled down my pants and beat me on my behind and thighs with a switch. He was sadistic. He enjoyed hurting me. When he had finished, I could barely stand up. He took pictures. That is when I packed my bags and went to live with Ray.

Ray was horrified by how skinny I was. I never told him about the beating. I don't think my mom even knew how far Steve had gone. I spent 3 months under the daily supervision of a specialist clinic. I lived at Ray's but had to attend the clinic every day for that month. If I didn't hit my targets I would be admitted. I did well. I got to my target weight within 12 weeks. My Mom's marriage was over before my final weigh in. None of us talked of Steve Morton again. I had to attend clinic once a week until I was 18 and an adult. Apart from the little blip in my second year at college, and the tendency to eat less when feeling stressed, I never looked back. So yes Dr Flynn, I know what you mean, I know what will happen if you and Christian don't think I am in control of my eating. I understand perfectly.

What nobody would understand is why I can't tell Christian. If he knew, apart from tracking down and killing Steve, Christian would feel like a monster. It would set him back months. I would have to deal with my feelings about being punished by Christian. I feared punishment in large part because it was wielded over me by Steve, who went on to beat me, mercilessly with a stick when I was at my most vulnerable. There was no love involved in his action. I think he truly was a sadist.

I privately wrestled with this for months when Christian and I first got together. Christian will never understand that since then things have changed for me. He will never understand why I let him punish me now, how I can. Jeez, I didn't understand it for a while. It made me feel bad, wrong, sick at first. I couldn't square the fact that it was okay to find pleasure in being spanked by Christian. It freaked me out. But I got over it. I like it now, and even allow him to spank me for punishment. I love Christian and I know he loves me and that is the difference. It is not wrong to find pleasure in kinky stuff, I know that, and between man and wife who love each other and trust each other, it is completely okay if we decide to live with a little 'domestic discipline'. Maybe it is a little weird considering what happened to me, but that's up to me. Maybe people might think that's why I still have issues with food, but they can go screw themselves. I am safe with Christian and the rest of the world can mind their business. Steve is not going to wreck my marriage.

I pick up the letter again and dial his number. He answers after 3 rings.

"Hi, this is Steve" The sound of his voice throws me completely.

"I am Anastasia Grey." I don't know what else to say.

"Hello Ana. I take it you got my letter?"

"We need to meet. Can you meet me on Thursday?"

"Will you have the money?"

"One step at a time. I have a busy Schedule. You will have to get yourself to Portland. I can meet you there. At the Heathman Hotel. Go to reception at 1pm and ask for Mrs Grey. You had better bring the photographs, all of them. You know the ones I mean."


	24. Chapter 24 - Best Laid Plans

'Little and often' said. With this in mind I head for the kitchen. No, Mrs Jones is not there and I am relieved; I don't like feeling like I'm being watched. I have been stupid, I have not been controlling food; once again it was controlling me. I will not let Steve Morton push me back over the edge. I fix myself a sandwich, with lettuce and ham. I slice up a banana and put it in a bowl with a little yogurt and honey. Then I sit down and place it in front of me. My appetite is none existent. Mrs Jones comes in, her arms laden with immaculate pressed and stacked bed linen. "Oh Ana I'm sorry, I should have got you that."

"It's fine Gail, I just wanted a sandwich"

"Is your throat feeling better? When you skipped breakfast I was worried… I heard you call your boss."

"It's fine thanks. Actually I am going to take the rest of the week off. I need to get myself better. I need to get my appetite back."

She smiles, a genuine smile of relief I think. "Mr Grey will be so pleased."

Mrs Jones disappears with the laundry. I am left to contemplate my lunch. Hmmm. I know I have to eat it but I just don't feel I can. Inspiration hits me. It is around 1pm. That is 4 am in Hong Kong I think. Will he be asleep? Probably not, knowing Christian. I'll text and find out.

***Are you Awake?* **

After a few minutes my Blackberry beeps with Christian's response;

***I can't sleep. My body doesn't know what time it is & I miss you beside me* **

***I am at home. Can you call me?* **

***Why are you home? Are you sick?* **

***Please just call***

A moment later 'Your Love is King' strikes up from my Blackberry.

"Hi"

"What's wrong Ana? Are you okay?" The panic in his voice makes me giggle inappropriately.

"Well as you are my boss's boss I should really say I'm sick with strep throat, but the truth is no, I'm fine. I pulled a sickie."

"What's wrong Ana? You never call in sick."

"Nothing, well actually something, that's why I wanted to talk to you. I saw Flynn. I did some thinking. I'm trying to get back on track with eating, but I'm finding it a little difficult."

"Why baby? Just eat. How hard can it be? What did John say?"

"I can't just eat, it's harder than that. I've been stressed out and I have no appetite. It's a bit like you and touching. You couldn't just have let me touch you because you wanted to be touched like anybody else… it was more complicated. It's like that with me and food. The thing is, I've realised I don't want to get sick so I do need to eat better, but I still have no appetite…"

"Anastasia, you have to eat…"

"I know, that's why I wanted to talk to you… If you were here you'd be bossing me about and going all overbearing and _'Christian Grey'_ on me and I'd eat. Right now my sandwich is staring back at me and I just don't want it. I was hoping you could give me a little motivation…"

"If I was there I'd be motivating you alright, I'd be motivating you till you couldn't sit down…"

"yeah, yeah, I know. I just wanted to talk to you, and you just be yourself!"

"I can do that. Are you eating that sandwich yet?" I roll my eyes

"No, not yet. But I want to."

"Stop rolling your eyes Anastasia and eat. Did you talk to Flynn about whatever is bothering you?"

"Yeah. I'm going to see him again next week."

"I can't pretend I'm not pleased."

"Christian, while I have you on the phone, there is another thing I need to tell you. There is something I should have discussed with you a while ago… I don't want you to get mad."

"I don't like the sound of that."  
"Do you promise not to fly off the handle?"

"I definitely don't like the sound of that. I can't promise not to be mad Anastasia."

"Just promise you'll try and keep your temper. Please?"

"Ana. Just tell me."

"Well, like I said, I probably should've told you already… but haven't. I probably should have talked to you about it much sooner. I'm worried about it. It's been kind stressing me out"

"TELL ME ANA. NOW."

"If you're going to start with that tone, I'm not telling you anything" He takes a deep calming breath. "Tell me. I will try to keep calm but you are infuriating. You're driving me crazy here. What is it?"

"Well, I don't know where to start…."

"ANA… stop procrastinating…just spit it out!"

"Okay, okay. You won't be mad?"  
"So help me Anastasia if you don't tell me this minute…" This time it is me who takes a deep breath and I blurt it out in one go…  
"I've applied for two MBA courses and I have interviews on Friday this week. I didn't think you'd want me to go so I didn't talk to you first but if you want me to take over Grey Publishing I really want to do this and I really want you to support me on this. Please don't be mad that I didn't tell you please, please, please!"

My confession about the courses is greeted with a prolonged pause…

"Christian, are you still there? Did you hear what I said?"

"I heard. It just wasn't what I expected." I can hear a smile in his voice and relief washes over me. This confession is not the one I know I should be making. I should be telling him about Steve, but I can't do that. He knew something was up, that I've been keeping something from him and like throwing a bone to a dog, I hope this will keep him satisfied enough for me to deal with the real issue without interference.

"… which Universities?"

"Washington and Seattle."

"Why didn't you tell me Ana?"

"I thought you'd try and stop me. I know you wanted to mentor me yourself, but I don't want that."

"I wish you'd told me. I wouldn't have stopped you baby. I'm proud of you. We'll have to think through a few details carefully but I'm not against it."

"Really? Proud of me? I thought you'd be mad."

"I'm mad you didn't tell me. I'm proud that you went and did it anyway, and that you're taking Grey publishing seriously. You're a pretty spunky girl!"

"Spunky?! I've never been called that before!"

"Another first! Now about that sandwich…"

"I don't think I need you to after all. I feel alot better. I think I can eat my sandwich all by myself."

"You'd better, because Mrs Jones emailed and I know you didn't eat your breakfast. Don't be mad with her; she was doing her job."

We say our goodbyes and, slowly, I eat my sandwich and banana and yogurt. I will not going to let Steve Morton defeat me again. I am not going to let my fear of him get hold of me. I am going to get myself together before Thursday and I am going to deal with him. I have no idea quite how, but I am damned if he is going to get one penny of Christian's money.

By Wednesday afternoon, I have managed to eat four pretty acceptable meals. That sandwich for lunch yesterday, an omelette for dinner last night, granola for breakfast and some tomato soup for lunch today. I won't say it was easy eating with no appetite, but it wasn't impossible. I can't stand that bloated feeling you get when you have eaten too much, and that's how I felt all day today, but I will live with it. Christian has emailed several times. Things have not been going well in Hong Kong. I miss him. Part of me wants to tell him to come home. Part of me wants him to send Ryan, Sawyer and Taylor to find Steve; to make him go away for good. Part of me is screaming for Christian to help me, take me in his arms and make everything alright; but I am not going to expose him to this. He doesn't need to know this. I will not let Steve put these images in Christians head.

Christian is hinting that there is not a lot more that can be done to rescue his deal in Hong Kong and he is hoping to tie things up any time. He wasn't happy about me sleeping over at Kate's tonight but he relented when I told him we were getting Chinese food. It is working out better than I hoped as, since Hyde was jailed and security has relaxed a little, Once Sawyer has secured Kate's apartment and is happy to leave me there, he will go back to Escala returning to pick me up at 9am, by which time I am planning to be on my way to Portland. Predictably Christian has already sent me all sorts of research topics and pointers for my interviews. I know he wants to get home before Friday and will do everything he can to do just that.

Meanwhile I don't exactly have a plan, and I can't say that I am not concerned. To be honest, I am crapping my pants at the prospect of being face to face with Steve. I have however figured out a way to stay safe while not giving Christian or my security detail an opportunity to stop me meeting Steve or interfere. I have arranged a hire car to be delivered to Kate's apartment on Wednesday evening after Sawyer has left. It will be easier to get away from there. Obviously I can't let Sawyer or have anyone get a whiff of what I am doing or Christian will find a way to stop me. I will have to move fast and keep my phone off for a while so I can't be tracked. By then of course they will all be beside themselves and Christian will be ready to lock me in a cupboard and throw away the key, but I will have to deal with that later. I know as soon as my phone is on Sawyer will find me at the Heathman. My cover story will be that I went to Portland to speak to my tutors and get a reference prior to my interviews. I hope I have had a chance to deal with Steve by the time he finds me.

I am going to threaten Steve, with the full weight of Christian's resources. With his Lawyers, with his security people, and if I have to, I will frighten him off by calling his bluff. I will tell him Christian knows everything and that photographs will only make it easier to prosecute. I am going to have to bluff a little but the truth is that I have resources now, beyond the imagination of most people. I need to make Steve realise that he stands no chance against Christian Grey. Of course Christian is going to blow his stack. I have a plan for that too. I will leave him a letter of explanation so while he is driving himself nuts with worrying, he will at least know what is on my mind and why I am doing what I'm doing. I hope by the time he is back, he will have calmed down enough to understand a little and maybe forgive me. That's the idea anyway.

I compose my letter, which I will email to Kate tonight with instructions to forward it to Christian in the morning. I will be with her tonight so I can make sure she won't see it until I have left early tomorrow. That will mean I can turn my Blackberry off when I leave which will throw Sawyer for a little while. Of course I will turn my phone on again, and as soon as I do I know. They will be able to track me.

_Christian, _

_I am sorry I went to Portland alone, I just want to talk to my tutor and it'll be good for me to go back to Portland by myself. _

_I know you are furious with me for going under the radar today. _

_Please try not to worry. I am a big girl. You can yell at me all you want when I get home. _

_I just want you to know that I love you and I will be home soon._

_Your Ana x_

As I get ready to go to Kate's. I am nervous. I go into Christian's Study and open the bottom left hand drawer. I know what I am looking for; Leila's gun. I don't anticipate needing it, but I am taking it. Steve Morton is not going to intimidate me again.

I decide to fire off a quick email to Christian.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Home Alone

**Date:** October 13th 2011 6.45pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I just wanted to tell you I love you, I miss you and I want you home.

That is all

Your Ana xx  
_

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Your wish…

**Date:** October 13th 2011 6.55pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

… is my command.

The bad news is talks here have collapsed and we are pulling out of this deal.

The good news is, I am en route to the airport and should be home at about 11am all being well.

I was going to surprise you but I don't want you pining all night unnecessarily.

I can't wait for your soft kisses

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

SHIT! I didn't expect him home that early. Much as I want Christian home, this time, his timing is crap! NOW I'm nervous.

Sawyer drives me to Kate's at 7.15. He disappears upstairs to check out the apartment. When he is satisfied all is well, he comes down, gives me the all clear and confirming that he will return at 9am to pick me up.

I'm not sure how I'll eat tonight with Christian on his way home and the prospect of a showdown with Steve tomorrow. Elliot answers the door. _Shit, Elliot is here! He's not supposed to be here_!

Kate and Elliot greet me warmly but I detect a weird tension. Kate does not mince her words. "Ana, you look like shit. You've lost like… 20 pounds or something." Elliot just stares at me. "Don't exaggerate Kate. I lost a little weight since the whole Jack Hyde thing – nothing like 20 pounds. Hey Elliot. I didn't know you were going to be here!"

"Is that problem Ana?"

"No, I just didn't realise."

"Yeah, well Christian was kind of insistent that I stay over, just to keep an eye out for you guys. Make sure you eat your dinner, don't sneak out to a bar and don't drink too much."

"You don't need to babysit us Elliot!"

"You two have a track record! Besides, he's been worried about you Ana. I see why… have you eaten anything at all since I last saw you? Kate's right, you look like shit!" My eyes roll…

"Why gee thanks Bro! I've eaten plenty."

Kate pipes up again "Bullshit Steele! When Christian told me he thought you had a problem I never imagined you'd got so… you know."

Elliot interrupts her… "She means so fucking skinny Ana, what the fuck are you doing to yourself? Jeez, go eat some dinner before you pass out girl!" I think he's pissed with me! I've never seen him like this. He reminds me of his brother. "No wonder Christian is chewing everybody's ear off about looking out for you. You'd better fucking eat something tonight. My brother will have my head on a spike if you skip dinner. I don't fucking blame him this time either; you look so thin I could snap you right in two!"

"SHUT. UP. you two. I'm fine. I had a little blip, but look, I eat" I say sitting down and spooning a generous heap of noodles onto a plate.

We all sit down and eat together. Eventually, Elliot seems satisfied that he's done his job of supervising dinner and excuses himself to go take a bath. I expect he's going to call or email Christian to let him know I'm okay. I feel bad. Elliot is pissed with me.

"Ana, what's with you? You're sick again aren't you? You know Christian is going out of his mind." Just then the buzzer rings. It's my hire car. I sign for the keys and bluff Kate that Christian has hired it for me while my R8 is in the garage.

"I am not sick Kate. I've had a bit of an upset this week. It's put some things into perspective. I'm making a real effort to get back on track with food now. Kate, I'm going to need you to help me with something."

"Sure Ana, What's up?"

"It's a long story and it's kind of complicated. Bottom line is I'm in trouble and I am going to try to smooth things out before Christian gets back from China tomorrow. I need you to promise that you won't rat me out to Christian before I got the situation under control. Please."

I look at her pleadingly. I'm not going to tell her everything, but I'm going to need to give her the gist. I'm going to need to do it before Elliot reappears too!

"Ana, you know I'm always on your side don't you? What the fuck is going on? You have me really scared now."

"As far as Christian and Elliot are concerned, I am going to Portland tomorrow to see my old Tutor, Martin Graham. I've got a couple of interviews for my MBA course on Friday. Christian is going to be pretty pissed with me because I am going to slip away before Sawyer gets here."

"okay, so what are you really doing?"

"I'd rather not say."

"NO WAY Ana, I am not dealing with an irate Christian Grey unless I know what it is all about. Spill."

"Kate. It's complicated. I'm in a bit of a situation." Kate remains silent, arms folded and an expectant look on her face.

"I'm being blackmailed by my ex step dad Steve. He wants a million dollars."

"Fuck Ana? What the hell has he got on you?" _Crap! This is is going to get tricky to explain._

"Nothing. He has nothing because there is nothing. Nothing bad anyway."

"What? How can he blackmail you with nothing?"

"Well, it's not exactly nothing. He was not exactly a nice guy when I was a teenager. He, well he didn't like me and I didn't like him. He used to… you don't need to know what he used to do, but I got sick. He has pictures of me that I'd rather never see again and I don't want Christian seeing… ever."

"Shit Ana, did he… you know… touch you…?

"No, no nothing sexual."

"Oh. Did he hit you?"  
"Only once. That's when I went to live with Ray. I think he was a sadist or something. He used to threaten me all the time, then one day… he beat me. I lost a lot of weight and I ended up needing an intervention."

"So why does he think he can blackmail you? Surly you got more you could blackmail him with?"

"Look Kate, if I tell you, you cannot tell Christian, or Elliot. Okay?" She nods.

"Jack Hyde put him up to it."

"What the fuck?"

"I know, I know it sounds crazy. Jack tracked him down a while ago and paid him a visit. He persuaded Steve that I would pay him to keep all this from Christian. He was right about one thing. I cannot let Christian see those pictures of me. He couldn't handle it Kate. It would break him and it would change our relationship. I like the way we are together. I can't let Steve fuck it up."

"Ana, I don't like this. Jack Hyde is dangerous and you say yourself that your step dad is a sadist."

"Jack is incarcerated. He's no threat. And Steve IS NOT my step dad. He is an asshole and a coward who beat up on a little girl. He can't do anything to me now. Besides, he's not exactly a bright spark. I'm pretty sure I can deal with him" I sound convincing, but the truth is I am far from convinced. My mom and I never talked about it, but I heard him hit her. After I'd gone, I think Steve took his frustrations out on my mom more and more. That is why I have Leila's gun stashed in my purse. I'm not going to put myself, defenceless, in a room with that man.

"Ana, you have to tell Christian. Let him deal with this. This could be dangerous, and you are far too close to it."

"NO. I can deal with it. Christian can't know about it."

"You can't give him money. He'll just keep coming back for more."

"I am not giving him a cent. I'm going to meet him and I am going to leave him with no doubt that his only option is to give me the photographs and disappear. Men like him are cowards Kate. That's why they beat up on women and little girls."

"Ana _you are_ a woman, and right now, you look like you might snap in two. What makes you think he's not going to hurt you? You just can't meet him Ana. I won't let you. I think you've lost it!"

"I have to do this and you can't stop me. Besides, I have taken precautions. I'm meeting him in a safe place. I am taking Leilas's gun."

"Have you totally lost your mind? When are you meeting him? And where?" _oh no you don't Kavanagh!_

"I'm not telling you when and where!"

"Right well I'll just go see what Elliot thinks then shall I?" and she stands up as if to leave the room.

"Stop it Kate, you are not telling Elliot anything. He'll just squeal straight to Christian and this whole thing will spiral out of control." I feel panic rise as I think of Christian finding out that I am planning to slip security, take a hire car and confront a blackmailer by myself with a loaded gun in my purse! He'll be home in 12 hours or so.

"Okay Ana. I'm coming with you."

"No you are not."

"You are not doing this by yourself Steele. That's just stupid!"

"The name is Grey in case you'd forgotten, and I know what I'm doing."

"Ana, either I'm coming with you or I'm calling Elliot in here and he will call Christian right now." _Shit. Christian will be here before I'm at the Heathman. This is not going how I wanted it to go._

"Okay, you can come. Just don't say anything to Elliot. I mean it. Not one word. If Sawyer or Christian find out they will stop me and I'll be in deep shit. You are going to have to leave your phone behind too. Sawyer can track it"

"Okay, When do we leave?"

"8am. I'm taking the hire car"

"Where are we going?"

"I'm not stupid Kate. I'm not telling you where so you can tell Elliot or Christian! It's not too far. We'll drive."

"Anastasia, you are being a stupid, stubborn fool and I think you are making a mistake, but I'm going to make sure you come out of this okay."

By the time Elliot comes back from taking a bath Kate and I are making small talk. I have no intention of waiting until morning. I have decided to leave tonight, as soon as we go to bed. In fact the sooner the better. I make my excuses and head to the bathroom with my wash bag and pyjamas to clean my teeth and make a show of getting ready for bed, leaving Kate to finish her wine with Elliot. When I come back Elliot has gone. Kate says he's got an early start and wanted to get back to his apartment. My heart sinks a little, as it isn't like Elliot not to say goodbye. He must still be really pissed at me.

Kate and I go to bed at around 11.30. I am in my old room. I get dressed again and wait an hour until I am sure Kate is asleep. I grab my bag, my purse and the keys of the hire car and oh so quietly go into the kitchen of the apartment. I write Kate a note on a scrap of paper and leave it on the counter.

_Kate, I'm sorry, I need to do this by myself. I know you mean well but I just can't risk you snitching on me before I have a chance to deal with Steve. _

_I have sent you an email, please forward it to Christian. I am turning my Blackberry off now so I can't be tracked. I promise to turn it on before I meet._

_Please don't worry and please try to stop Christian going off the deep end._

_Love_

_Ana_

I get in the Mercedes Sports car I hired. It is gorgeous. I didn't specify a Mercedes, but I did ask for a German car, knowing Christians preference for German engineers cars. He loves them because they are safe, and in some small way I hope to placate him with my choice. Of course the hire company know they are hiring to Mrs Christian Grey so I expect I have the very best they have to offer.

I get in the car, send Kate the draft email I wrote earlier for her to forward to Christian, then turn off my Blackberry and drive off into the night, towards the I5, Portland, Steve Morton the demons of my past.


	25. Chapter 25 - Portland

Driving out of Seattle on the I5 it's dark and I'm cold. There is little traffic on the roads. I turn the climate control up high and switch on the radio. It feels good to be driving myself for the first time in weeks. Before long I'm past Olympia and on the long, familiar stretch of road that leads to Portland. I've never driven it in the dark.

The Mercedes is a dream. I am making really good time, largely because the car is fast and the girl driving it likes fast. I mentally tot up in my head the things that if he knew, would send Christian bat shit crazy ... 1. Me, driving down Interstate 5 at 1.30am in a powerful sports car averaging 80 miles per hour in a 65 zone. Yes the car is German, he'd like that, but it's black, small and I imagine does not conform with many of the safety standards he would prescribe for me. 2. I have ditched security. 3. I'm not where I'm supposed to be and nobody has any idea where I am or where I'm going. 4. I guess I am a little thinner than I was when he left and 5. and this one is the big one... agreeing to meet my blackmailing, sadistic stepfather, with nothing to protect me but Leila's gun in my purse. _Hmmm I think I'm in big trouble. _

Yawning, and feeling sleepy in the warm atmosphere of the car, I decide to pull over for a pee and a coffee. I pull into the Toutle River Rest Area. It's around half way to Portland, in thick trees. It's so dark. After a quick visit to the bathroom I sit down at a table with a hot latte. I know, just over a few miles over the trees Mount St. Helens looms over the landscape... as I consider my recent 'crimes' I can't help reflect that a volcano erupting would be like popping a pimple in comparison to Christian's reactions if he could read my thoughts right now. I reach into my purse and pull out my Blackberry. I have to call the Heathman and tell them I'm coming and won't be there for another hour or two. After making the call and making my reservation, I check my emails, hoping for a message from Christian.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Flying Solo

**Date:** October 13th 2011 8.05pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

We will be taking off soon.

I wish you were with me. We can think of many things we could do to pass the time. Instead I will be twiddling my thumbs and counting the moments.

I will tell Stephan to fly fast.

See you tomorrow. Sleep well baby you'll be up late tomorrow night!

x

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I want to tell him to come pick me up and go send Taylor to deal with Steve; but I can't. I can't have him know what Steve did. It would break him.

I take a deep, calming breath, turn my Blackberry off and drink the last of my coffee, before returning to the car.

I pull up at the Heathman at 3.45am. The lady at reception is expecting me and, no surprises, despite my insistence that a regular room would be adequate, Christian's usual suite it ready for me. I hand over my credit card and I explain that tomorrow Iwill need to use a private room for a meeting. After I have made the arrangements, a bellboy shows me to my room. Of course I have no luggage, just my purse and overnight bag.

Once alone, I undress fall into bed, wearing one of Christian's t shirts. It is 4.10 am. I am so exhausted; I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

I am in the private dining room at the Heathman, wearing Kate's plum dress. The table is piled with food, mountains of food, pancakes dripping butter and syrup, bacon, Chinese cartons with noodles spilling over, piles of sandwiches, steaks dripping with fat, French fries and pizza and spaghetti and sauce. I feel nauseous. A man is ordering me to eat. "Eat, you selfish little fuck. Eat you skinny little bitch. Fucking eat or I'll beat the crap out of you, Eat I said or I'm take of my belt and whip you red raw..."

Is it Christian? No it can't be Christian. Please no, Please. I love you Christian, please love me too, please don't do this, I can't eat, I love you please Christian. Hold me Christian, don't hurt me please, come back to me. I feel arms around me and I bury my face in his chest drinking in his beautiful smell like a comfort blanket. I look up at his face. Steve. He is holding me too close. Crushing; suffocating me. I can't breath...

A loud ring abruptly drags me back to reality. Momentarily confused, I realise it is the telephone by the bed. I reach over, and as I try to blink the sleep from my eyes, I manage to focus on the clock, which reads 09.21am.

"Hello" my voice is croaky and full of sleep.

"Mrs Grey. I'm so sorry to disturb you. We have a visitor here at reception. He is most insistent Ma'am."

"What? Who?" My mind is suddenly racing. Steve? It must be, he's the only one who knows I'm here. Shit, he's hours early. I can't see him now. I'm not ready.

"It is Mr Grey ma'am" ...WHAT?! He's somewhere over the Pacific? He can't be here? No way?

"Christian's here?"

"Oh no Ma'am, Mr Elliot Grey." _Shit_.

"Oh. Um, please send him up." Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I leap out of bed and, gathering my bag, quickly pull on jeans, tucking Christian's t shirt into them.

Suddenly there is a banging on the door and I know it's Elliot, and I know he's furious.

I open the door and He bursts into the suite closely followed by Kate. He runs his hands through his hair in a way that reminds me so much of his brother.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here Ana? Fuck, are you crazy? I'm saving both our asses from the wrath of my brother that's what!"

"I don't know what you're talking about Elliot. How did you know where to find me? What the fuck have you told him Kate?" She moves to speak, but falls uncharacteristically silent as her boyfriend steps in

"Jesus Ana you can be so dumb. Kate explained a few things sure but don't you dare blame her! Get your things together. I'm taking you home."

"I can't, I have a meeting in a few hours and I can't leave until it's over"

"Fuck that Ana, I know all about your 'meeting' and it's not happening. We are leaving if I have to carry you out of here kicking and screaming. Jesus, you have really dumped me in it. You know, I've always ripped into Christian for being over the top when it comes to you and safety, but I'm beginning to think he has a point!"

"You didn't answer my question, how did you know where to find me?"

"You do realise you are married to a very rich guy don't you? You do know he pays a whole team of people to keep you safe every minute of every day. Are you really so shocked that when your credit card is used nearly 200 miles away from where you are supposed to be, it flags up as a security breech? You'd make a crappy spy." He seems to calm down a little. "Get your bags and give me the keys to your hire car. Please Ana. I'm not Christian, bossing you about doesn't come naturally to me."

What do I do now? Kate steps in...

"Ana, please, Elliot is trying to help. Christian knows you're AWOL and he's already out of his mind... If he knew what was actually going on... well, I guess I don't need to lecture you on that."

"Please Ana, don't make me go all Christian on you again. It doesn't suit me."

Elliot's attempt to lighten the atmosphere a little has the desired effect. I have no idea what is going on, but I if I am going to find out and rescue this situation, I'd better cooperate. I gather my few things into my bag, reach into my purse and fish out the Mercedes keys. "Are we taking it back to Seattle?"

"Jesus, no Ana. We'll let the hotel take care of it. Trust me you do not want to rile your husband any more than he already is. I'm pretty sure arriving in a little black Mercedes SL Roadster would push him over the edge of reason." I don't get how they both know so much about how Christian is feeling. He never has his balckberry on when he flies...

"Elliot, Christian is halfway here from China, how the fu..."

He cuts me off. "We can discuss it on the way back to Seattle. We'd better go Ana, come on, keys, hand 'em over."

We get into Elliot's car, and I feel a mild sense of relief wash over me as we drive away from Portland and away from Steve. I know this is not the end. _What will happen now? What will Steve do when I don't turn up?_ I guess I'll have to deal with that when it happens. Right now my head is spinning with questions. How did Elliot find me, and how does he know Christian is mad. What does Christian know? We stop for breakfast just outside Portland. Elliot disappears to make a call. I toy with my Blackberry, not quite daring to turn it on. I will need to call Steve. Now I just have to think of what I will say to Christian.

**Elliot's Nightmare Night... **

"Shut up now Christian, I said I'd go didn't I? I'll baby sit the girls for you. Jeez you should lighten up a bit dude. Chicks are always on faddy diets and they always get smashed after a couple of sniffs of anything alcoholic, trust me, it's nothing new and it's nothing to get your knickers in a twist over... but if makes you feel better I'll go over there now bro."

"Spare me the lecture Elliot and please just make sure she eats and stays at Kate's. I do not want a repeat of Rob Roy... and forgive me but I do not entirely trust your girlfriend."

"yeah, yeah, I'm on my way. I'll call you later."

"I'll be in the air. I'll have my cell off but you can reach me if you need to. Just call Ryan. I have emailed you his number. Please Elliot, make sure they behave, and send Ryan a text so he can let me know everything is okay"

"If it'll shut you up. Laters dude."

I drive across town to Kate's and get there at 6.30. She's going to be pissed at me barging into their girlie evening. I let myself in.

"Kate, baby... where are you?"

"Elliot?"

"Hi baby. I'm staying for dinner."

"What, no you're not! Ana and I have plans. We're getting Chinese and painting our nails!"

"Look, before you go off at the deep end, I'll keep out of your way. I had a call from Christian who begged me to be here..."

"Shit Elliot no! Ana might put up with his crap but will not be spied on!"

"I'm not spying on you. He's out of his mind with worry about her. He just wants me here to make sure she eats and that you two don't skip out to a bar or something. He doesn't exactly trust you to be a good influence on her and seems to think she is fragile right now."

To my surprise, Kate does not go postal on me. She seems to consider what I'm saying carefully before responding... _Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?_

"Okay. Stay, but keep out of our hair. You have to let us talk. She won't say anything in front of you."

"Kate? What's wrong with you? Are you in there" I say knocking on her forehead with my crooked finger. She smiles and bats my hand away

"Shut up Elliot. Christian is right, something is up with Ana and whatever it is, she's dealing with it on her own. I think she's making stupid decisions and I think she's vulnerable. And I know Christian doesn't trust me, I got that message loud and clear!"

She laughs. I expected a fight!

We order the Chinese food and no sooner has it arrived but the buzzer goes. I open the door and am shocked by the sight that greets me. It's Ana, but her cheeks look hollow, her skin is paler than usual, almost sallow, and her clothes look too big. Her legs are skinny, Fuck, she looks like shit. No wonder Christian is worried. I had no idea!

"Ana, Hi, Good to see you," I say, forcing out a jovial greeting. I don't know what to say to her. I tentatively give her a hug, gripping her by her upper arms... she's tiny and I feel like I might snap her. How the fuck has this happened in just a few weeks?!

Kate says her hello's and I can see she is just as shocked by Ana's appearance. Ana can sense the tension. She looks uneasy. Fuck this, someone has top say something! Suddenly Kate pipes up, blunt as ever...

"Ana, you look like shit. You've lost like... 20 pounds or something." I just stare at Ana, but am proud of Kate. Someone has to tell Ana the truth. What is she doing to herself?

"Don't exaggerate Kate. I lost a little weight since the whole Jack Hyde thing - nothing like 20 pounds. Hey Elliot. I didn't know you were going to be here!"

"Is that problem Ana?" I can't help but sound pissed with her. I am pissed with her. She's not stupid, she must know what she's doing to herself, and what she's doing to Christian. She is wasting away. Christian is prone to over reaction where Ana is concerned, or at least that is what I've always thought, but I'm beginning to doubt that. She has a death wish or something, and if I were Christian, I'd be out of my mind.

"No, I just didn't realise." She looks nervous

"Yeah, well Christian was kind of insistent that I stay over, just to keep an eye out for you guys. Make sure you eat your dinner, don't sneak out to a bar and don't drink too much."

"You don't need to baby sit us Elliot!" Kate snaps at me, but I'm not going anywhere. Not until I have seen her eat and hung around long enough to be sure she hasn't barfed it all up or something gross. Besides, I can't risk Kate persuading her to go out to a bar. Christian would have my balls for breakfast. I'm pretty sure Kate wouldn't do that, but I'm not taking it for granted.

"You two have a track record! Besides, he's been worried about you Ana. I see why... have you eaten anything at all since I last saw you? Kate's right, you look like shit!" She rolls her eyes at me and I half smile back at her. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh.

"Why gee thanks Bro! I've eaten plenty."

"Bullshit Steele!" Kate ferociously interjects... that's my girl, never one to mince her words! "When Christian told me he thought you had a problem I never imagined you'd got so... you know."

I look over at Kate struggling to find the right words "She means so fucking skinny Ana, what the fuck are you doing to yourself? Jeez, go eat some dinner before you pass out girl!"

Finally we eat. Ana doesn't exactly stuff her face but she eats well enough. I stick around for a little while, then excuse myself to have a bath. I don't really want a bath, but I'm fucked if Ana is going to barf up her dinner on my watch.

I email Ryan and tell him to let Christian know all is well.

At about 11.30 I head home. I have a site meeting early tomorrow and I need to get a few things straightened out. Kate and Ana are ready to turn in anyhow. Kate has hinted that there is something more serious going on with Ana but she gives nothing away. I'll take Christian out for a beer when he gets back and talk to him about it.

At 5am I'm woken by my phone.

"Elliot, where is Ana?"

"She's at Kate's. Christian? Where are you?"

"I'm on the plane somewhere over the Pacific. Where are you?"

"I'm at my apartment."

"You said you'd be at Kate's!"

"I was; I left when the girls went to bed around 11.30. Why? What's going on?"

"You need to get over there and check she's there. Ryan called the plane and her phone was used halfway to Portland at around 3am and he credit card at the Heathman in Portland around 4. Get over there and see what's going on then call me. I'm leaving my Blackberry on until landing so you can call me on my usual number."

"Okay, I'll call you in 20 minutes."

NOW I'm pissed. At 5.30 I let myself into Kate's apartment. Everything looks just as it did when I left.

"Kate? KATE" I call out. I notice a note on the kitchen counter. Kate comes in in her pink fluffy robe, yawning.

"Who the fuck is Steve?" I ask handing the note to her and heading to Ana's room. As expected she is not there. SHIT.

"She's gone? Fuck. I have no idea where she's meeting him. This is bad Elliot. We have to do something. Christian is going to go thermonuclear over this."

"She's in Portland. That's why I'm here. Christian got a call from security who flagged it up when she used her credit card to check into the Heathman a couple of hours ago. Kate, we are going to have to go get her, and I have to call Christian and tell him what is going on."

"Wait a minute... You can't tell him about the note."

"Oh no Kate, I'm not lying to Christian, only an idiot lies to my brother."

"Don't lie then, just edit the truth a bit. And please tell him I'm with her. He'll be much happier to blame me and much as he'll hate it, he'll feel reassured that she's not alone. Please Elliot. I'll explain on the way, but Ana is in trouble and we need to get her out of there. Christian losing it won't help anyone."

I feel uneasy. "Please Elliot. She said to say we were going to Portland to get references for her interviews from her Tutor. Just tell Christian that's what we're doing. Steve is her old step dad and he's really bad news. We need to get her back here before she meets him and Christian knowing about that now won't help anyone."

"Fuck Kate... Call me an idiot then. Okay. You get dressed I'm gonna call Christian."

"Elliot, is she there?"

"No. They've gone to Portland. They left a note. Something about interviews and references. They are going to see Ana's tutor. "

"What the fuck? Why have they ditched security? This stinks. It's always Kate. You need talk to her Elliot, you need to sort her out."

"I'm going to Portland now and I'll bring them back."

"No, I'll divert to Portland and I'll get Sawyer to go down there in Charlie Tango."

"No Christian, I am going. Let's not make this into an international incident. Like you said, Ana is fragile."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Ana looks awful. She's so thin. I'll get her and Kate, bring them back to Seattle and I'll deal with Kate. You can take care of Ana Christian, and I think you should go easy on her. I don't think sending your Goon squad in, in helicopters is going to achieve anything. Let me bring the girls home. You go home. I'll keep in touch." Christian considers this for a moment or two before replying.

"Okay. You go get them and bring then straight back. I want to have a proper talk with Kate about Security too. She doesn't understand. I thought I'd got that message across to Ana after Hyde broke into Escala, but maybe she needs a refresher course too."

Kate checks her emails. Ana has sent her one to forward to Christian. Sure enough it says she's in Portland, alone. We decide not to forward it and blow our story.

On the way to Portland Kate gives me the low down on Ana's situation. Kate is really worried about Ana. It seems she is prone to bouts of rapid weight loss and Kate saw this happen once at College. When she tells me that Ana is carrying a gun, I lose it. She has got a fucking death with. If the gun doesn't kill her, my brother will. I prepare Kate for Christian's reaction. She takes it in her stride. I have to say, if we get away with this little ruse, Ana will owe Kate big style.

We reach the Hotel in good time, at about 9.15. I am not taking any bullshit. Ana is getting in my car if I have to carry her down kicking and screaming. After a short exchange, she agrees and hands me the keys to her hire car. We go down to the car, stopping only to check out and ask the concierge to sort out the return of the car for us.

By 10 O'clock we are on our way back to Seattle. We stop for some breakfast just outside Portland and I take the opportunity to call my brother.

"Hi. I got them and we are on the way back."

"Good. We'll be landing within the hour. Will you come straight to Escala?"

"Sure."

"Elliot, I need to have a talk with Kate. Will you two please come up when you arrive."

"Please don't ball her out Christian. I've already read her the riot act."

"I'm not going to ball her out, she's not my girlfriend. I just want to make her more aware of the security protocol Anastasia is bound by and why. She doesn't seem to get it Elliot."

"I'll talk to her Bro, don't sweat it. I have the girls, they are safe and sound and on their way home. You need to sort out Ana's weight before you start worrying about Kate's comprehension of your security!"

"Just come up to the apartment will you. Is Ana okay? Is she upset?"

"She's fine. I think it was a spur of the moment thing. She's probably just nervous about her interviews. She looks tiny though Christian. Kate's worried about her. If you ask me that's where your problem is." When I get back to the table, Ana is we finishing her latte. She looks fit to drop. We get back into the car and head on up Interstate 5 towards Seattle.

**Christian's Long Night**

I have a long flight ahead of me and I just want to be at home with my wife. This week has been frustrating beyond belief but now it is over and we will move on.

I am more concerned with my wife. Of course I have done my homework. I understand she has tendencies toward Anorexia. Welch looked into it for me a long time ago. She attended a clinic for 3 years. I have been waiting for her to tell me about it all this time. I guess one day she will. Until that time I will have to take care of her myself.

Having taken the best advice available in the United States on the subject, I also know that this most recent episode needs to be nipped in the bud. It can be managed if it is tackled head on, fast. Left alone, Ana risks descending into a full blown eating disorder again.

Her recent attempts to control her food intake and reduce her weight have almost certainly triggered partly by Hyde and in part, by the level of security we have had to endure since we got married. Even so, I can't compromise on security. Since the whole Hyde episode, and the increased press interest since our engagement, the threat is not only in sharper focus, it has increased in real terms. So, I need to focus not on what I can't change, but on what I can. Security is a given, but we need to address Ana's issues. Even if she doesn't know exactly what they are herself. John Flynn will help us with this. I have spoken to him at length, about her history, as well as her recent weight loss.

I have had a dietician work up a menu designed to help her regain a little weight without forcing her to feel full. I intend to discuss this with her when I get home. I have also engages the services of the eminent Dr Caroline Knight, a leading expert in adult eating disorders. She has agreed to see Ana next week, if I can persuade Ana that is.

As we wait to take off, I email her

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Flying Solo

**Date:** October 13th 2011 8.05pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

We will be taking off soon.

I wish you were with me. We can think of many things we could do to pass the time. Instead I will be twiddling my thumbs and counting the moments.

I will tell Stephan to fly fast.

See you tomorrow. Sleep well baby you'll be up late tomorrow night!

x

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I hope she has a good evening with Kate. Elliot has thankfully agrees to be there which has helped me relax a little.

8 hours into the flight, I am lying on the bed in the bedroom of the GEH jet. I slept for 3 or 4 hours but am reading now, and thinking about coming into the cabin and getting a coffee.

There is a Knock at the door. It's Taylor.

"Mr Grey, Sorry to disturb you. We have a small situation I need to discuss with you sir. Ryan is on the phone. I think perhaps if he explains what's going on, then we can discuss next steps"

"I'll be right there Jason. Will you please patch Ryan's call through to the phone in here."

I do not like the sound of this. I pick up the receiver next to the bed.

"Grey"

"Mr Grey, I'm sorry to disturb you. Mrs Grey's credit card was flagged up 8 minutes ago. It was swiped at the Heathman Hotel in Portland. We immediately checked her phone records. Her blackberry is switched off Mr Grey, but it was switched on approximately 2 hours ago a little north of Castle Rock, and hour or 2 north of Portland. I was just about to alert Sawyer and send him over to the Miss Kavanagh's apartment. Would you like me to proceed?"

"Hold off a moment Ryan. My brother is there. I'll call him and call you back. I want you to check her credit card records. I want to know where it's been used and what for. I'll call you back directly."

"Will do Mr. Grey." What the fuck is she doing in Portland and where is Elliot?

I call him right away. He is at his God damn apartment! Yelling at Elliot won't help now. He agrees to go straight over to the apartment and call me straight back. I call Ryan.

"Have you come up with anything on her credit card yet?"

"Yes sir. She used her Amex to hire a Mercedes SL350 this afternoon."

I am burning with rage inside. Calmly I take control of myself and the situation

"I will call you back when I have spoken to my brother. Please have Sawyer on stand by."

When Elliot calls back and explains the situation I am suspicious. Something doesn't ring true. I don't trust Ana's judgement when she is with Kate but would they really ditch security and hire a car in the middle of the night after last time? I don't think so. Besides, I spoke to Kate just a week ago about Ana. I made myself crystal clear. I can't believe that she would do something so obviously reckless. I doubt even Kate would do something that she knows I would consider blatantly defiant just for shits and giggles since we had our last talk. I am certain that Anastasia understands the boundaries. No there is more to this.

I decide to reassure myself that my wife is at least where we think she is. I call the Heathman Hotel.

"Good Morning. This Christian Grey. I was hoping you could let me know if my wife has checked in yet"

"Yes Mr Grey, I checked Mrs Grey in myself an hour ago. I believe she is in her suite. Would you like me to put your call through?"

"No. I don't want to disturb her. Thank you. Is Miss Kavanagh sharing her Suite?"

"Miss Kavanagh? No Mr Grey. Mrs Grey was alone and she did not mention anyone joining her until her meeting here tomorrow afternoon."

"That's fine. May I ask which meeting room you have arranged for her?"

"Sure Mr Grey. Yes, here, one of the private dining rooms from 12.30pm. Will that be satisfactory?"

"Yes, thank you."

"May I ask will you be joining Mrs Grey, Mr Grey?"

"No. I am overseas on business. Goodbye"

Kate is not there. Elliot is lying.

I call Walsh. I need some answers.

"Walsh? It's Grey. I'm sorry to call you so early. I need you to look into something for me. Mrs Grey has a meeting scheduled at the Heathman Hotel in Portland tomorrow sometime after 12.30. She will not be able to make it. I want you to send someone down there to intercept whomever she was due to meet and find out everything they can."

"No Problem Mr Grey. Do we have any clue as to the nature of the meeting."

"No. No clue. Just find out what you can."

What am I going to do with Anastasia this time? There is more to this than meets the eye and I don't like secrecy. Ana holds too much inside already. Meanwhile I have enough to think about getting her to gain a little weight. I need to find out what is really going on with my wife and I want her to tell me. I consider my options. If I don't punish her she will be suspicious and make more strenuous efforts to hide from me whatever it is that is going on with her. I need to keep her safe and keeping secrets, arranging secret meetings without security will not keep her safe. Perhaps I will just take her into the playroom and reaffirm who wears the pants in out marriage. Should I spank her too? It would probably make us both feel batter and make her confident that this matter is closed. Normally I'd be in no doubt but I just don't know this time. Elliot is right about one thing, she is fragile. I need her to want to confide in me. I need to make sure she knows she is safest with me. Maybe I'll play dumb. Pretend I believe whatever bullshit story I am presented with. Punish her in the way she will expect me to, do my own research and try to get her to confide in me. I don't think this is anger that is twisting my guts up inside... it is fear and pain, for my Ana.

I decide to send her an email, break the ice before we have to confront each other. I know Ana. I know how I sometimes make her feel. I don't want her to be scared of seeing me.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** AWOL

**Date:** October 14th 2011 8.07am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Ana,

You know I am furious. I don't need to tell you that.

I love you and I want you back home safe in my arms.

We will figure the rest later.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I don't hear from Elliot until after 10am. Waiting does not improve my mood any. He has Ana. She is on her way home. I am not going to let Elliot know that I have caught him in a lie. I will speak to him about that later, when I can talk to him and Kate alone. Right now I am going to focus on getting my head together before I see Ana. I will need to employ every ounce of self control I can muster.

**Ana's Morning**

I excuse myself from the table to go to the bathroom while Elliot is on the phione to Christian. I don't know if it exhaustion, but I feel tearful at the thought of Christian and Elliot talking just a few feet away. I want to call him, but I admit I am afraid of what he will say.

Once out of earshot I turn on my Blackberry and call the Heathman.

"Hello, yes, it's Mrs Grey here. I wonder, if you can help me."

"We will do all we can Mrs Grey."

"Thank you. My plans have changed and I am not sure I will be able to reach the gentleman I was due to meet there this afternoon. His name is Mr Steve Morton. If he arrives, could you please give him my apologies and let him know I have been called back to Seattle unexpectedly. Please tell him that I will be in touch."

I have a knot in my stomach at the thought of Steve's reaction. He is bound to assume I have done this on purpose and it will inevitably make him mad as hell.

I take a look at me emails. There is one from Christian. The knot in my stomach rises to my throat. Tentatively I open the message and read...

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** AWOL

**Date:** October 14th 2011 8.07am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Ana, You know I am furious. I don't need to tell you that.

I love you and I want you back home safe in my arms.

We will figure the rest later.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

It makes me smile. My Fifty.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** Your Arms

**Date:** October 14th 2011 10.17am

**To:** Christian Grey

Christian,

I know you are mad. I'm sorry.

I can't wait to be safe in your arms.

You have no idea how much I have missed you.

Your Ana x

I clamber into the back seat of Elliot's car. Before I know it I am asleep. As Christian said, we will figure out the rest later.


	26. Chapter 26 : Facing Christian

**Sorry this one took a while. I have been traveling and meanwhile have been plotting out the next threads of the story. I have not slowed down or stopped, just had a busy few weeks. Lots more coming! Thanks for being patient... the next chapter will come as soon as i can get it down.**

I wake confused. "Ana, Come on sleepy head, we're home..." Kate? Is that Kate's voice? I open my eyes a crack. It isn't light, then I realise where I am, in Elliot's car, in the underground parking lot at Escala. I yawn and stretch and try to stifle my apprehension. Is Christian going to go bat shit crazy? Probably. Fuck. This whole has been at best a waste of time, at worst... well I guess I'm about to find out.

We stand in silence in the elevator. Kate catches my eye and smiles. Elliot's face is like thunder. When we come through the doors into the great room, all three of us instinctively look around for Christian. He is nowhere to be seen.

"I'll go see if he's in his study" I offer. Sure enough, as I walk towards the open door of his study, I can hear Christian on the phone. I hesitate a while to listen.

"So what DID he say?... He just left?... Didn't your man try to stop him?... Jesus... Well I want everything you can dig up. I mean EVERYTHING."

Tentatively, I poke my head around the door. Christian sitting at his desk, his head in his hands, senses me before he sees me and his head snaps up, his eyes locking mine with the intensity of his stare.

"Ana" He almost whispers. In one, fluid movement, he stands and crosses the room. He takes me in his arms, and crushes me to his Chest. "Ana, I've missed you. I've missed you" his words almost prayer like.

"I've missed you too... but I can't breathe Christian,"

"Oh, sorry baby" he says relaxing his grip a little, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"You've lost more weight." His tone is flat, I cannot see his face but I imagine it is expressionless.

"A little, but I am getting back on track I think."

"Hmmm. We'll see about that."

"Are you mad with me?" I venture, biting down on my bottom lip and waiting for the 'yes' that I know must follow.

"I'm just glad you're home baby. Now stop biting that beautiful lip of yours. Are Elliot and Kate here?"

"Yes. Please don't be mad Kate. It was all my fault. She ..."

Shhh. Not now Ana. I need to talk to Elliot about something. I'm always mad with Kate... no point in balling her out. You go find her and why don't you both get Mrs Jones to fix us all some lunch. I'm starving and you need a decent meal."

"So you aren't mad with me,.. at all?"

"When did I say that? Of course I'm mad with you, but we can talk about that later. Right now I'm just happy to have my wife back home safe where I can keep an eye on her! Now scoot, and tell Elliot to get his butt in here?" He turns me towards the door and gives me a light swat on my behind to propel me through the door. It's a comfortingly familiar gesture, and it makes me smile for the first time in days.

As I head into the great room, Elliot and Kate are perched up at the breakfast bar in the kitchen drinking coffee and deep in quiet conversation.

"Elliot, Christian wants to talk to you in his study."

"Assume the position Elliot!" Kate giggles, entertained by her own stupid joke.

"Yeah, okay. Shut up Kate. Hey Ana, I hope he gave your tiny ass the whipping it deserved!" And I feel myself flush scarlet as Elliot helps himself to an apple and, taking a bite, heads out of the great room to Christians study.

I take his seat at the breakfast bar, and put my head in my hands.

"So? _Did_ he give you an ass whipping?!" She says, still giggling

"Shut up Kate, you're not funny. Of course he didn't. He was pleased to see me."

"Yeah right... 'cause Christian Grey is just so easy going!"

"SHUT. UP! We'd better fix some lunch. Where is Mrs Jones?"

"speak of the devil..." In she walks.

"Hello Mrs Grey, I was going to prepare some soup, bread and cheeses for lunch. Does that sound okay?"

"Sure Gail"

"I just need to pop down to the deli and pick up the cheeses. Is there anything you want me to get while I'm there?"

"No, thanks Gail. We're good."

Kate and I sit on the couches in the great room and chat. Kate takes her opportunity to scold me for sneaking out in the middle of the night. When she describes the verbal ass kicking Elliot gave her on their way down to Portland, I do feel quite guilty, but I know she will have given as good as she got. Then the pleading starts. "You have to tell Christian about Steve. Elliot knows, and I'm telling you, he won't keep a secret from Christian for long. Please tell him before Elliot does."

"Why the fuck did you tell Elliot?"

"It's all I could do to stop him calling Christian right there and then. Ana, Please. Christian will okay, he'll help you sort this guy out. I don't get why you don't just tell him! You'd never have to see this schmuck again."

"I just can't. I won't have him fuck up what Christian and I have."

"Oh for God's sake Ana. How could he possibly fuck it up?"

"Christian can't know what happened between us. Just leave it Kate. It's not happening."

"Is this because of Christian's S&M shit? Steve wasn't a perv was he? He was a bully and he beat your butt with a stick!" At that moment Christian and Elliot emerge. Christian smiles, but it is a familiar smile that belies his true feelings and does not touch his eyes. Fuck I hope he didn't hear Kate. Elliot looks like he's just stepped out of the principals office having has _his_ pants pulled down and his butt paddled!

"Did you fix lunch?" Christian asks.

"No, Mrs Jones was making soup. She's gone to the Deli."

"Good. Forget eating in. I'm taking us all out for lunch. Elliot, Kate, Would you join us?"

"Thanks Christian, but I can't. I was supposed to be in a site meeting first thing. I Better get back to it. You coming Kate?"

"yeah, I'd better. Thanks anyway Christian."

"I'm so sorry Elliot." I feel like crap. What a dufus. Christian and Elliott have clearly had words and it's all my fault.

"It's okay Ana, just don't drop me in it like that again. Jeez, you and Kate should come with a health warning!"

And I catch a furtive smile pass between Elliot and Christian and I know whatever they talked about they must have cleared the air. I smile at Elliot apologetically.

After they leave, and Christian and I are alone, I surprise myself with how nervous I feel all of a sudden. Like I've been caught red handed at something. Christian observes me for a moment. I feel his eyes on me, before striding across the space between is, taking my hand in his and pulling me along with him towards the elevator.

"Come. I'm taking you out for lunch. Just as a matter of interest, have you eaten anything at all since I've been away?" His tone of voice confuses me, it sounds almost jokey!

"Um, yeah, I did. I tried. I didn't always do so well, but I did try I promise." The elevator doors close behind us. He smiles as if pleased with himself, and squeezing my hand a little tighter, looks skyward, declaring emphatically

"Well your gonna eat now, and I'm putting a stop to this nonsense about food before it gets out of hand. Do you understand?"

"Yeah... I get it. Christian, are you going to... you know... punish me? "

He fixes me with his eyes, but speaks softly.

"If I thought it would make a difference I would spank you and ground you and keep you where I know you're safe. I get the feeling that wouldn't do any good this time baby. I want you to want to talk to me. I am going to help you fix this, whatever it is. You are everything and I love you." and just as he leans down, placing a soft, loving kiss on my parted lips, the elevator doors open, and he strides out into the lobby, pulling me behind him. We pass Mrs Jones on her way in as we leave the building. Christian simply nods in her direction saying "Mrs Jones". She looks un-phased, as I silently mouth "sorry!" in her direction.

We almost march down 4th Avenue, then down Pike street towards the market. He leads me to a little Itallian restaurant with questionable décor but buckets of atmosphere. We are shown to a little round table for two in the window. The table is almost too small and the restaurant is buzzing. Christian orders a bottle of Prosecco and a bottle of mineral water almost before we've sat down.

"What do you want to eat Ana?"

"I know you want me to order a burger and fries or something, but I just don't have that kind of appetite at the moment. Can I have a salad?"

"You can have a salad. I don't expect you to start eating like a trucker, but you do have to get some calories and gain some weight. Actually, I have a confession to make."

"You? A confession?" ..._I gotta hear this! _In fact, it makes me kind of nervous... I am sure that Christian is not as cool and collected as he looks. No way, not Mr. Control freak. He's up to something.

"I've taken advice about your eating. Proper medical opinion. I've briefed Mrs Jones. I'm not fucking about with this Ana. You are going to get back up to a healthy weight and stay there is I have to force feed you every mouthful."

"Well I'd expect nothing less from you." I sigh. I feel a little annoyed but not in the least surprised, and deep down I know he is right and I know what started a few weeks ago as my gaining a little control, is not beginning to control me again.

"Well that isn't all." I roll my eyes

"Go on then... Tell me what you've done!"

"Hey, don't take that tone with me Anastasia. I may not have done anything about it yet, but that does not mean my palms aren't twitching like they never have before, right now!" His menacing, whispered tone leaves me in no doubt that he means business. I blush and he composes himself.

"I have spoken to a Doctor. The best in her field. Her name is Caroline Knight."

"I have heard of her. She wrote a book I once read."

"Oh, when? Why was that?" He is fishing. I can tell. Maybe I should tell him about the clinic. I should tell him I know I should. I want to tell him. I start biting my lip and before he has a chance to tell me to stop it, the waitress is back with our drinks and to take our order. This gives me the pause I need to think of my response.

"You order Christian. I haven't even looked at the menu."

"Are you sure baby?" his question makes me giggle... as if he doesn't order for me all the time anyway, and in light of what he just said the question seems a little redundant.

Raising my eyebrows at him I reply ever so politely "yes, I'm sure."

Christian orders nuts and olives, then orders me an avocado salad with crayfish and a chilli mayonnaise dressing on the side then a linguini with clams and olive oil.

When the waitress has gone, he looks at me with an air of expectation... "So," he coaxes "Dr. Knight's book. You were about to tell me when you read it."

"Was I?" And I take a deep steadying breath. I think I need a drink. I take my glass what the waitress filled already and take a long sip. "When I moved back up to Montesano to live with Ray. He bought it for me." Christian remains silent, sipping his wine and giving me space to elaborate in my own time.

"When I lived with Mom and her 3rd husband, well you know it didn't work out. I had a few problems, and I ended up sick. When I got to dad's he kinda went nuts. I'd lost a lot of weight. I wasn't much more than 75 pounds. I had to go to a clinic for a while. I was an out patient till I went to college. I read the book then."

"I see. I'm glad you told me baby." _That _wasn't the reaction I expected. I narrow my eyes and glare at Christian suspiciously. He raises his hands as if in surrender.

"Okay, I confess, I knew about the clinic. I knew a long time ago baby."

"Fuck Christian, why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me yourself. Why did you think I was always so bothered about your eating?! I'm sorry baby, but it came up on your background checks. I've just been waiting for you to find the right time. I knew one day you's be ready, and I'm always going to help you with it. That's what I'm here for. I'm never going to let you get sick again. I just mad I let it get so far this time. That won't happen again."

"Is that what you wanted to confess? Or is there more spying you feel the need to get off your chest?" I say, pouting.

"DON'T POUT Ana. I know you disapprove of background checks, but that was done long time ago and in my position, was a necessary evil. I'm sorry if you think I invaded your privacy. I did my best not to let you feel that way. And no that is not all I wanted to confess."

"Go on then, what is it?" Just then the waitress returns and, correctly gauging the tension between us, quickly deposits a bowl of nuts and another of olives before beating a hasty retreat.

"Caroline Knight is flying in from New York next week. I've asked, if you are agreeable, that she come and see you. Help you get back on track."

"What!? Were you even going to ask me!"

"Of course. I'm asking! Will you meet her?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Anastasia, I'm warning you, stop with the attitude. I have a list as long as your arm of things I could happily haul you across my knee for, from ditching security and going AWOL to hiring a sports car after we discussed the need for advanced driving lessons. Do not make the mistake of thinking I'm not fucking furious with you right now, just because I am also out of my mind with worry about your health and your eating."

Okay... he has a point. I'd better calm down. I know he's worried, and I also know that he has good reason to be worried and to be angry with me. For Christian, he is doing pretty well at keeping his cool! I try and get control of my temper with another sip of wine.

"Okay. I'll see her. I don't want to get sick."

"Nuts?" Christian asks mischievously, indicating the bowls on the table between us.

"Probably!" I reply, helping myself to a macadamia and finally cracking a smile.

Our lunch arrives and we talk, without drama or argument, about China, about my interviews tomorrow. About the merits of one university versus another. Christian, I can tell, watches my every mouthful and gently but very firmly encourages me to finish my food. I know enough about these things to know he really has done his research. _Why did I doubt it!?_ Everything he has ordered is packed with nutrition and also calories while not being bloating or heavy.

It is obvious Christian is twitchy about aspects of my taking up an MBA. Mainly these concerns centre around my commitments to college in the evening, for this reason he heavily favours Washington University over Seattle as they have an "Executive compatible" programme which allows me to carry on working but does not rely on working inn the evenings. The Seattle programme is a heavy evening commitment. I am mildly amused by his obvious concern about the other guys I will be mixing with on the corse "bunch of horny, post pubescent assholes" he describes them as, before I remind him that most of the students will be around his age. "Well I'll rip their fucking nuts off if any of them within arms reach of you" he threatens. I have to laugh. He does not think it is a laughing matter. _Oh dear... this is going to be fun!_

When we finish our meal, we talk a walk down to the Waterfront Park. We find a bench and sit down together, watching the world go by. I love this. No Taylor, or Ryan or Sawyer, just Christian and me, and a bench.

We walk home and Christian helps me get psyched for my interviews. Mrs Jones prepares dinner and we eat a chicken ceasar salad with walnuts and a lot of extra parmesan and dressing, then some of the cheese she bought from the deli earlier for lunch with crackers and fruit. Over dinner, I have to swallow a bit of a scolding about ditching security, not telling him where I was going and hiring that Mercedes. _That _really pissed him off.

Christian is not the only one who can read people. I can see that he knows more than he is letting on and I start to wonder what he and Elliot discussed earlier.

"Christian, why did Elliot look so pissed off after you spoke to him this afternoon? Did you argue?"

"No. We had a frank discussion."

"What about? It wasn't his fault I went to Portland you know!"

"Obviously. But it was his choice to try and deceive me."

"What? What do you mean."

"I won't be lied to Ana. Elliot knows that. I just needed to know why he decided to ignore it"

"What did he lie about"

"Oh so innocent Ana!"

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Yes."

"Oh... why?"

"Because for some reason Anastasia Grey, all three of you thought it would be better if I believed you ran off to Portland with Kate when in fact you ditched her too and went alone... You checked in alone at any rate"

"Ah"

"Indeed. I'm not an idiot. When are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" but I know what he wants to know.

"You know what. Why did you go to Portland Ana?"

"To talk to my tutor."

"Bullshit. It's okay. You don't need to tell me now." He says, discarding his napkin and standing up. "I want you to tell me when you are ready. We are not done with this though. And I'm warning you..." he pulls me off my chair and into his arms. As he speaks he takes my hands in his and gently places soft kisses in my palms.

"...you ever do anything like that again, and you won't be sitting down for a very long time. Is that clear?"

"Perfectly."

"Good." He pulls back and looks deep into my eyes. Jeez, he looks so hot. He looks hungry for me. "Ana, I have a bit of stress I need to work out of my system... do you want to play?"

_YES, YES, YES! Tie me up, bend me over, fuck me hard. _My inner monologue makes me blush...

"Yes please ...Sir"..." I almost whisper, nervously. I detect his breath hitch a beat and his eyes blink shut for a fraction of a moment too long in responce to my addressing him as 'sir'. I can think of nothing I want more than to lose myself in the playroom. I want to give Christian total control. He needs it right now. So so I!

"Good" Suddenly his lips are on mine, urgently, his tongue invades my mouth and I am hungry for him. He pulls away, breaking out kiss.

"Go get yourself ready and wait for me in the playroom"

My stomach flips and I obey.


	27. Chapter 27 : Long Night

When I wake, lying face down, half on the red silk sheets of the big bed in the playroom, half draped across my naked husband's abdomen, my hands still tied behind my back with a soft, silk rope, Christian is gently stroking my hair.

"Hey sleepyhead. You okay?"

"Better than okay. Can you untie me please?"

Christian sits up, moving me gently from abdomen to lap. He unties my wrists. When I kneel up on the edge of the bed next to him. Without speaking, he takes my hands in his and inspects, then kisses my wrists. There are no marks. They are just a little rosey. I shiver and crawl onto his lap and into his warm arms. "I think that's my cue to get you into a nice hot bath Mrs Grey."

"Okay" I reply while yawning.

"You're so cute when you yawn." And he stands, with me in his arms. I detect a little sigh and his smile is gone as he carries me across the playroom. "What's up Mr Grey?"

"You... you're too light. It bothers me."

"I know it does."

"I shouldn't have let it get this far. It won't be happening again. Let's get you in that water."

We reach our bedroom door and he puts me down to open it.

When the bath is full, we sink into the warm, sweet, jasmine fragranced water together and it brims over onto the floor. I am barely awake. The last 24 hours have really taken it out of me... not to mention an hour and a half of the playroom and mind blowing, Christian Grey patented sexpertise!

I smile to myself as I remember waiting in the playroom a couple of hours ago... I close my eyes and I'm there, in just my panties, hair braided, knees apart as I kneel in the corner of the playroom waiting... the sound of my heart beating in my ears is the only sound; marking out the moments. The door opens. I hear his feet pad across the floor before I see him. Several more long moments pass as listen intently, searching for clues as to where he is and what he is doing. I hear a drawer open, then slide closed. Another. He takes something out and I hear him place it on the wooden chest. I cannot tell what it is. The first exquisitly slow, quiet bars of music drift over and fill the room. It sounds like angels. With my eyes cast down as he has taught me, at last I can see him, his beautiful feet, bare, and the hems of his jeans. My favorite jeans.

My eyes flick open as Christian turns the faucet again to top the bath up with hot water. I am barely awake lying back against him as he washes and rinses my hair. Memories drift back in luxurious snatches...

I am kneeling up on the playroom bed, its red upholstered headboard supporting me, my hands bound behind me, blindfolded, my ankles pinned in Christian's hands, his grip firm.

I don't know if it is my blushes that wake me or Christian pouring a jug of warm water over my head to rinse out the last of the soap; but I am once again in the here and now lying against my husband's chest in the jasmine scented waters. He picks up the soap and, reaching around me, begins gently washing my abdomen and my breasts. Biting my lip I allow my mind to drift back again to the playroom.

The cool, hard metal plug invading, filling me, while Christian's expert mouth explores, my ankles still firmly pinned. My ears filled with the overwhelmingly sweet sound of Faure's Requiem. As the music builds and soars, so do I. As I soar, Christian moves. He grips me around my waist and lifting me slightly to position me, suddenly he fills me. We climb together until, as the music reaches a crescendo, so do we, soaring together, falling together.

"Ana?" Christian rouses me from my thoughts abruptly, and I realise that I am enjoying the memory a little more than I realised! "Would you like me to help you with that baby?" he teases; and before I can even answer, the water is spilling over the edge of the bath and we lose ourselves once again.

I wake with a start. It's dark. I'm sweating. I'm breathless. It's 2.45am. Steve. He was here, in my dream. He was fucking furious. He was raging at me like a mad man. Was he Steve or was he Jack Hyde? I haven't seen Steve in so long, I think he memory of the two men, both tall and powerful, both angry and full of venom and hatred of me, begin to meld into one.

Christian lies, still sleeping, beside me. I want to wake him, have him hold me. He makes me feel safe like nobody else has ever done. But I do not want him knowing how scared Steve made me, or why. Instead I decide I need a drink. I can't go back to sleep right away. don't want to. I don't want that man invading my dreams.

What to drink. Tea? No I want something stronger. Something that will be sure to blot out my dreams. Whiskey, that's what Christian drinks when he's stressed out. I go over to the drinks cabinet. I don't go in there often... or ever in fact! There are 3 whiskeys. Which one? I have no idea. I pick the one with the most Scottish sounding name since Christian always says Scottish whiskey is best; Glenfiddich.

I plink a few cubes of ice into the crystal tumbler then splash in an inch of the rich, dark amber liquid. I place the cool glass to my lips and draw a generous sip into my mouth. It burns my throat as it hits and makes me squint and shake my head involuntarily. I can't say I like it. _Knock it back... that's how they do it in the movies!_ So I once again place the glass to my lips and suck in the remaining fiery liquor. I pour out another half inch, maybe a little more, leaving the bottle on the kitchen counter. I walk over to the huge wall of glass overlooking the city. I see lights, and cars and the twinkle if boats out on the Sound, but somehow, I feel like the only person awake in the whole world. I take another good sip if whiskey. As it burns the back of my throat I'm already preparing myself to take another glug; I need this stuff to knock me into a dreamless sleep for a few hours. As look out into the dark distance, stealing myself for another mouth full of the fire water, I lift the glass once more, only this time, the glass miraculously keeps rising, up out of my hand and over, above my head. I see the mystical force levitating my drink reflected in the massive, glossy black window. My husband is standing behind me, my glass in his hand. He is gloriously bare chested, with his grey plaid, cotton pyjama pants hanging from his hips. I shiver.

"Scotch? Are you kidding me! Since when do you drink whiskey little girl?"

"Little girl? Since when do you call me little girl?"

He smiles. "You look like a little girl standing in front of that big window, A naughty little girl, shivering in your nightie and sneaking a taste of her daddy's liquor! Did you enjoy it?"

"Not at all since you ask!"

"Then why are you drinking it in the middle of the night. It's not like you?" He sounds amused but I can hear a note of concern in his voice too.

"I had bad dream, and I wanted to sleep but I didn't want to dream. I figured a face full of Scotch might do the trick."

"Drink it like that and it'll just give you a headache or a face full of vomit. You should have woken me baby. Come back to bed and let me kiss those bad dreams away."

He takes my hand and pulls me behind him towards the bedroom, discarding the glass on the counter on his way.

When I wake a few hours later, Christian is already in the shower. I am thankful that I didn't dream of Steve, or Hyde or any weird cocktail of the two, again. Christian emerges from the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel, another slung around his hips. "Hey sweetheart. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'd better get up though. I'm a little nervous about my interviews."

I dive in the shower. When I'm dressed, my hair tied back in a neat ponytail, well as neat as I can manage; I go into the kitchen and sit up at the breakfast bar next to Christian. He is wearing jeans, and a long sleeved white t-shirt, tucking into an omelette while reading the morning paper.

"Aren't you going into the office today?" I ask, surprised.

Yeah, I'll show my face later, but I'm working from home this morning. I've got a few things I need to sort out. I need to make that appointment with Dr Knight. When suits you baby?"

"I can't think about that now. Besides, I don't have my diary. Can we sort it out after the weekend?"

"No. We need to sort it out today. I'll call Hannah and have her look at your schedule. I'm also interviewing for a lunch chef for you?"

"A what? Are you kidding." He raises his eyebrows in my direction. "Okay, so you are not kidding. What the fuck do I need with 'lunch chef' whatever that is?"

"it's no beg deal. I assume you have no intentions of staying home from work while we sort your weight out?" it is not a real question. I fold my arms and glare my response at him. "As I thought, and I'm pretty sure you don't want me breathing down your neck every five minutes."

"You got that right!"

"And we can't rely on your willpower alone to keep you eating right at work. You are going to have to eat well and eat regularly. Sawyer, or when she's back, Dexter can't be watching over you. That wouldn't be fair on you or them. I'm just hiring someone who can make sure you eat right during working hours."

"For God's sake Christian, it's so... over the top!"

"Not at all. Anyone would do it if they had the money. We're lucky, money is not an issue for us. I can't be worrying about you all day and leaving the temptation there for you to skip meals. Whoever I get will work with you but will report to me. Nobody will be force feeding you, just... well coaching you; making sure you are getting enough calories and nutrition to get you healthy again." I can't help but look sceptical. "No arguments Anastasia."

I sigh feel like sulking.

"For God's sake Ana, this is going to free you up to work without you getting mad at me fro nagging you the whole time. We've established that you don't always have the willpower to eat when you are stressed and left to your own devices." My expression is still sceptical. "It's either this or a clinic until you put weight on. That's your choice."

"Okay, I got it. Just don't get an asshole or a some big, bossy bastard. I need someone I can get on with."

"Message received and understood. No assholes. And watch that potty mouth."

Mrs Jones, oblivious to our little spat, comes in from the utility room like a breath of fresh air "Mrs Grey, Omelette or something else?"

"Thanks Gail, omelette would be great." Christian says nothing, but puts his fork down and gives my leg an affectionate squeeze.

Sawyer is taking me to my interviews. I kiss Christian goodbye. Just as I am about to leave, he stops me.

"What Christian? I don't want to be late!"

"You have plenty of time, just give me a minute. Sawyer, go get the car and bring it round the front. Mrs Grey will be down in 5."

Sawyer nods and heads down without me.

"So? What's so urgent?"

"Close your eyes and turn around." I narrow my eyes with suspicion. "Just do it Ana"

I turn away from him and close my eyes. Christian reaches over me and around my neck, I feel him fastening a necklace. It is very light. I put my hand to my throat and can feel something hanging from a very fine chain down below my collar bone.

"There. You can look now" he says, spinning me round towards the mirror that hangs above the console table in the foyer of our apartment. It is exquisite. An gold egg, about half an inch from end to end hangs from the finest gold chain I have ever seen. The gold is a beautiful soft colour and is not shiny, but brushed and almost eggshell like in it's texture. It hangs from a small loop that allows it to move along the chain. The loop is set with tint diamond chips all over it like some rings I have seen. "Is that loop a pavé setting?" I say, as if I might know what I'm talking about! Christian looks quizzical "How in the world would you know that!?"

"I have hidden depths Mr Grey!"

"You sure do! So does the necklace, let me show you." Hand the takes it between his long, dexterous fingers and with his thumb, he presses a minute, bead like catch, and the egg opens to reveal a tiny. folded piece of paper inside. He takes it out, revealing a miniature photograph of us both, on our wedding day, set between two pieces of clear crystal. "It's a locket!" I exclaim. Christian drops the tiny note in my hand and I open it to read the words 'Good luck my love' written in teeny tiny letters. I carefully fold it back up, place in back inside the egg and snap it back together. "Thank you… I couldn't love it more."

The interviews go well. I immediately feel a connection with Mark Robbins, who runs the Washington Programme. He is in his 50's I think, about the same height as Ray, but a little heavier around the middle. He seems to like me and, unlike the guy at Seattle, doesn't mention Christian, or GEH once. Much as I like the Seattle guys, I can't help feeling they would bend over backwards to accept Christian Grey's wife even if I was a total moron. Knowing Christian's preference for Washington, I am relieved I won't be fighting him on this one; assuming, that is that they even offer me a place.

I call Christian from the car on my way home at about 5pm. He asks me to meet him at Grey House. Apparently he has someone he wants me to meet! Shit, I bet it's the 'lunch chef'! My heart sinks. Who has a lunch chef... when did my life become so surreal? What a stupid question... I know exactly when that happened... it happened the moment I met Christian Grey!

When I reach Christian's office, Andrea ushers me right in. I'm surprised to find Christian still wearing his jeans and t-shirt, albeit with a rather sexy, tight, black, cashmere sweater over the top. "Wow Christian... Is it dress down Friday or something!?"

"I just snuck up here to sort out a few things. I don't believe in dress down Friday." He says with not a hint of humor.

"Okay grumpy... I was just kidding."

"How did the interviews go?"

"Good I think."

"Did you come away with a preference?" _Aha - is THIS what the bad mood is about?_

"Yes." I tease him.

"Well...?"

"Cool your boots. Washington all the way!"

He smiles. I was right. He was anticipating a fight.

"Good. I think I found the right guy for the chef job."

"Guy?" I question. I really didn't expect a guy for some reason.

Christian buzzes Andrea "Send Mr Bourdot in please Andrea"

In walks a guy, about 5'8 or 9, dark hair, styled up in a little quiff. He has on a tight black t-shirt which shows off an impressive physique. He is athletic and oh so very camp!

"Bonjour, zis must be Mrs Grey. My name is Guillaume... pronounced Gee-ome" he says in a comically strong French accent as he bend in deep, theatrical bow, taking my hand and kissing it. "Tres, tres belle Mrs Grey!"

I love him! We briefly talk a while about the kind of things I like to eat. It seems he usually works for women who want to keep an eye on their weight in the other direction. He claims to be "very, very strict", which makes me giggle uncontrollably - _strict!? he has NO IDEA! _Christian smirks at my amusement. Guillaume will start on Monday; actually I think I can do this and although I hate to admit it, I think having Guillaume the 'lunch chef' might really help.

We decide to go up to the health club for dinner. I haven't been there since that day with Hyde, but that doesn't bother me. I like it up there. It feels relaxed, private and the food is always good. We are talking about what we might do this weekend. I want to take the boat out. Just as our appetisers arrive, in walk Mia and Ethan! Christian stands and greets his little sister with a hug and a kiss, giving Ethan a handshake. Mia looks a little embarrassed; she had obviously wanted to sneak out with her date unseen. Christian invites them to join us, and I understand Mia's sulk. Ethan agrees enthusiastically, but both Mia and I understand Christian's motives better than Ethan does. He wants to give Ethan the 'Christian Grey once over'. Mia and Ethan order and Christian orders a bottle of Bollinger Champagne. He leads the conversation totally and skillfully pumps Ethan for information on all subjects, without Ethan even really noticing.

As we finish out main course, I notice Taylor in Christian's eye line. He catches Christian's eye at that moment and Christian excuses himself. I watch as the have a discreet conference. He looks over to the table just once, then quickly turns back to Taylor. He is only gone for a few moments. When he takes his seat again, he has a relaxed air, but I can tell beneath the veneer, something is going on. Something has happened. Before I can even ask, Christian puts his napkin on the table and starts making our apologies

"Mia, Ethan, I'm sorry, something has come up and Ana and I have to leave," And he indicates to the waiter to come over. He orders another bottle of Champagne for Mia and Ethan ignoring Ethan's protests and hands over his credit card insisting, as ever, on settling the bill. He glosses over the reason for our departure pasteing on the classic Christian Grey smile, which never touches his eyes, "It's nothing at all, just business, but I am afraid it is rather urgent business that can't wait."

Christian leads me by the hand in the way only he can. He is walking so fast I have to trot a little to keep up and, concentrating so hard on my footwork, have little chance to ask his anything.

"Slow down for God's sake Christian, I have heels on, you're going to break my neck."

We get in the car and without hesitation speed out of the gates of the health club.

"What the fuck was that all about? Is it the China deal again?"

"No Ana. Don't panic baby. It's your Mom."

"Mom? What about my Mom? What's happened?"

"She's been attacked. Looks she was robbed. Her purse was taken. She's in the hospital."

"When did it happen? Where?... is she okay?"

"I don't know when but Bob found her at about 5pm. She was by her car outside their house apparently. She's okay. She's stable."

As he is talking, my eyes are filling with tears and panic is rising. It's like Dad's accident all over again; except this time Christian is with me. Thank God Christian is with me. He wraps me in his arms, tight. "Did Bob call?" Answering quietly, he is speaking into the top of my head "Her phone was gone so Bob didn't have your number. The police contacted Ray, who drove over to Seattle and went to Escala. I don't know much more than that, except that last Ray knew she was unconscious but stable. The jet is fuelling now and Mrs Jones will meet us there with an overnight bag. Lets's get to the airport then we can find out more. It's going to be okay baby."

Is it? How can it be okay. Not even Christian can make this okay. It is going to be a long night.


	28. Chapter 28 : Carla's Secret

Sitting forward in the white, leather upholstered seat of the GEH jet, I cannot hide the tension that is coursing through me and threatening to overwhelm.

I stare, unseeing out of the window into the black night sky, one arm wrapped around me, gripping my own waist, my other hand in my mouth as I chew nervously on my nails. I never bite my nails.

As usual, Sawyer is travelling up front in the staff cabin with Natalie the stewardess, giving us our privacy. Christian sits quietly beside me reading –or pretending to read - a book on macro economics. I'm sure he is still mad with me for my outburst over resting in the bedroom, earlier…

"Please baby, go lie down in the back. You will be no good to your Mom or Bob if you are dead on your feet when we arrive. Just close your eyes and rest a while." He had said.

"What part of 'I'M NOT FUCKING TIRED' do you not understand Christian?" Christian looked taken aback for a moment and ran his hands through his hair to steady himself before, the master of self control, he responded, hands on his hips, his voice steady and calm.

"Anastasia, I am on your side. Get a grip of yourself." …

So here we are, in our seats, both tense neither one of us speaking. Me, out of my mind with worry about Mom, Christian worried about me. I feel bad for the way I spoke to him. I won't think about that now, that can keep until tomorrow.

Natalie comes into the cabin. My gaze does not shift from the blank night sky. "Mr Grey, we'll be starting our descent in 10 minutes. Can I get you or Mrs Grey anything before the Captain puts the seat belt sign on?"

"Yes, I'll have a coffee. Black. Mrs Grey will have a tea. We'd like some cookies or a little chocolate if you have some, and a bottle of water." I roll my eyes. She leaves and Christian decides to break the silence.

"Come here baby." He pulls me from my seat into his arms, and onto his lap.

"I saw you roll your eyes…" He is teasing; trying to engage me in thoughts other than fear for my Mom. "Sweetheart, I want you to have a little cookie or something. It's 4am Seattle time, and you've been up all night, you'll end up passing out otherwise." I'm not hungry, in fact I feel a little sick, but I know he is right. I may not feel tired but I know I have no reserves. I need to be strong for my Mom.

By the time we reach the hospital, it is nearly 7am Georgia time. We are directed straight up to high dependency unit. Mom is in a room by herself opposite the nurses station. There is a large window onto the corridor and I can see Bob asleep on a tiny couch against the opposite wall. Before we go into Mom's room a nurse stops us and takes us aside. My stomach flips with fear, why can't I just see Mom? What's wrong? I squeeze Christians hand so tight it must surely crack a bone. He doesn't flinch, just pulls me closer.

"Mr and Mrs Grey, Mrs Adams is doing very well. She regained consciousness a couple of hours ago. We took her for a brain scan in the early hours and there is no swelling on her brain which is what we were afraid of. So far so good. She is sedated and sleeping now. The doctor will be in to see her at 10am, and we hope to be able to discharge her from high dependency to a regular ward. She's been lucky and we expect she may even be able to go home in a day or two."

This is great news and not what I expected. I had played out all sorts of different scenarios in my head on the way here, but nothing like this. I am overwhelmed with relief and thank God for Christian's cool head.

"Did she remember anything when she woke? Did she say anything?"

"She has no memory of what happened as yet. That is perfectly normal. She may remember or she may never remember. She didn't seem unusually confused. She has two broken ribs and was in considerable pain but considering what she's been through in the last 12 hours or so, she was remarkably cheerful."

We creep into Mom's room, trying not to wake Bob. I pull up a chair next to Mom's bed, kiss her forehead and sit. Christian leans against the wall behind me.

I wake with a start, slumped over, my head on my Mom's bed, her hand, complete with cannula, in mine. _Jeez, how long was I asleep? _Christian is not here, nor is Bob. Mom stirs.

"Ana, baby, when did you get here?"

"Hi Mom." I say. I feel my bottom lip tremble with emotion and my eyes swim with tears. I blink and the heavy teardrops fall down my cheeks all at once, in river.

The door opens and Bob and Christian come in. Bob sees Mom is awake and comes straight over to the bed. Christian puts his hands on my shoulders.

I stand and let Bob take my chair and take Mom's hand. "How are you this morning baby?" He asks, kissing her hand at the knuckles just above the cannula. I allow Christian to wrap me in his arms. He wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

We gently explain to Mom about our midnight dash to her bedside. Before long, the doctor arrives and Christian gently ushers me out of Mom's room.

"Ana, Bob wondered if we could go to their place and pick up some things for Carla. He hasn't been home since he found her lying on the sidewalk. If we go now, we'll be back by the time she is settled on the ward and she can clean up a little and get out of that hospital gown."

I am reluctant to leave so soon after arriving.

"I don't wanna go Christian!"

"Bob asked us baby. You can't see her while she's being examined anyway. Besides, you need to eat."

I sigh and roll my eyes. Breakfast is the very last thing on my mind.

"Are you kidding me Christian? I couldn't eat now! It's the last thing on my mind."

"I know. That's why it's the first thing on _my_ mind. You look after your mom and let me look after you."

"Aggghh!" I growl in frustration, fists clenched, foot stamping. Christian envelops my angry fists in his, large, calm hands. He speaks softly, with no hint of the frustration I'm sure he feels "I know it's hard, but you are going to eat a proper breakfast. Come."

He leads me downstairs, speed dialing Sawyer en route. We reach the hospital exit just as Sawyer pulls up in our hired Mercedes. We speed off, stopping at a restaurant called 'The Waffle House'. I don't even pick up the menu. Christian orders me a latte, blueberry pancakes and bacon. At first I feel totally over faced by this pile of food and just stare at it, until Christian deftly manages to distract me by making a list of what we need to pick up from Mom and Bobs.

"A couple of nightgowns and a robe… Baby, pick up your fork and take a bite… Slippers. You'll need to make up a wash bag too Ana… Good Girl. Now try a little of that bacon… I guess she'll want some make up and anti-perspirant too… Just a little more Ana; finish that second pancake and I'll be happier…. We can stop at a drugstore for anything you can't find. Well done baby… eat just one more now and we can go…"

I feel bloated and full, but I hate to admit that I do feel a little more human, less snappy after my breakfast. We get to Mom's and Christian wrestles with Bobs keys, cursing under his breath when he can't find the right one. I giggle. He turns, flashing me his brilliant smile… "At last… Ana, I've missed that sound!" he turns and kisses me. "Here Christian, let me" and I step forward and take the keys. As I twist the handle, the door opens! "It wasn't even locked!" I laugh walking in through the open door.

Suddenly and without warning Christian yells "Anastasia STOP!" He lunges at me, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. I'm confused. What's going on?

"Anyone could be in there Ana… whoever attacked your Mom took her purse and has her keys. I'll go check it's safe."

"No you will not! Let Sawyer go…"

Sawyer is inside for just a couple of minutes. "All clear Sir, Mrs Grey. It looks like someone ransacked the palce. They've gone through some of the cupboards and make a hell of a mess in the main bedroom. Looks to me like someone was looking for valuables."

"Well they will have had no luck there!" I joke. Mom sold the few things she owned of any value to fund her divorce from Steve.

Sawyer is right, the place is a mess. As I look around, Christian calls the cops to report the break in. "Don't touch anything Ana" he barks at me as I take in the damage. I notice that mostly, it is books and photo albums that are tossed all over the place. I go into Mom and Bob's bedroom and it is a total mess. Drawers emptied out, the closet doors opened and old shoe boxes of papers and photographs spilled out onto the floor. Then something catches my eye.

In a pile of clothes there is an upturned shoe box. It was obviously full of old pictures and letters, these relics of yesteryear carelessly discarded by whomever is responsible for the break in. I see a something that makes me feel sick. It's a picture of me; a Polaroid. I have never seen it before. I am about fourteen or fifteen I guess.

I am in my bedroom, the bedroom I had in the house I shared with my Mom and Steve. It is taken through the window that looked out onto our backyard. It must have been taken from the attic room in the garage I think, you couldn't see into my room from anywhere else.

The penny drops, and I realise with horror that Steve must have taken these pictures. He spied on me! Why the fuck does my Mom have them in her closet?

My hair in wet in the pictures. I am naked; just out of the shower. I am stretching up, not quite back to the camera. You can clearly see my naked behind, my torso turned slightly towards the window as I towel dry under my arm. The shape of my budding, naked breast is clear, as it is turned towards the camera just enough to see the shape of my nipple. I reach down and pick up the photograph. Underneath there is another, same room, different day I think. I'm bending down this time, my naked behind full on to the camera as I wrap my wet hair in a towel turban. And then, another, this time it is a full frontal as I hold the towel behind me as if I am about to wrap myself in it. I scrabble around in the pile of discarded pictures, frantically searching for more, but find none. Then I find a photograph, of a woman's face, close up. She has been beaten. One eye is half closed and her upper lip is blue and fat. It takes me a moment to register that the picture is of my Mom. I feel sick. Underneath that picture is a note, dated November 29 2006. That is just a few weeks after I left to go live with Ray, and a couple of months before Mom divorced Steve. This has to be Steve. He did this. He attacked my Mom and broke into her house. This is my fault. What was he looking for? Why does Mom have these pictures of me? What the fuck is going on?

I hear Christian finishing his call to the police and stuff the pictures and letter in my purse. He walks in and I feel myself blush. He cocks his head and narrows his eyes, looking quizzically at me. I don't think he saw me.

"What are you doing?" He asks

"I was just figuring out what to do about all this. Should I look for Moms nightgown?"

"No. Don't touch anything. We'll go find a store and get her new stuff."

"I think I should call Bob."

"Yes, I think you should. The police will be here soon, then we can go get your Mom some new stuff. Come wait in the car, you can call Bob from there."

I am relieved to get out of the house. I hunt in my purse for my Blackberry. I haven't switched it on since we left Seattle. I have missed calls. I ignore them and call Bob. I explain what has happened and that we have called the police. Bob never gives much away, but it is clear he is upset. He says once Mom is settled he will come down. She is in her new room on the ward now, sitting up and eating. That, at least, is good news.

Maybe I can quiz her about what the hell those pictures are all about and why I didn't know anything about them until now.

While I'm talking to Bob, Christian is calling the Savannah branch of Macy's. I don't know who he is talking to, but it seems he is arranging for everything my Mom could possible need to be put together for him and couriered across to the hospital. How the hell Christian does it I don't know, but I guess when you are Christian Grey, anything is possible.

When the police arrive, Christian meets them and explains everything. I check my missed calls. Three calls from Mom. Poor Mom, she was trying to reach me. No that can't be right; she was unconscious in the hospital when these calls were made. I go cold. Tentatively I call my voicemail. The recorded voice makes me shudder.

"You are in a lot of trouble little lady. You are going to regret standing me up when get hold of you, and I will get hold of you. Or maybe it's time I gave your husband a call?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Of course, the voice belongs to Steve Morton, who now not only has my Mom's cell phone, he also has my cell phone number, and of course Christian's too. I don't know what to do.

I switch my blackberry off. I am going to have to talk to Christian. No sooner has this thought occurred to me, than the door opens and he slides in next to me. Sawyer slides in the driver's seat simultaneously and we head off, back to the hospital.

I stare out of the window, thinking. I am unaware that I am biting nervously down on my bottom lip, absent mindedly twisting my wedding band around and around with my right hand

"Have you even heard a word I just said Ana?"

"Huh?"

"I was talking to you…"

"You were? Sorry… I was miles away."

"Right, that is enough Anastasia. What is going on?"

"What?... nothing" I protest unconvincingly as I look away, unable to meet his gaze. Christian grasps my chin between his thumb and forefinger, pulling my face back around to meet his and he fixes me with his steely grey stare, his jaw tight. He means business.

"Wrong answer. Try again. What is going on?"

I can't talk here. He is going to go bat shit crazy. I don't want to tell him about about Steve beating my ass with a switch, not ever. But if I don't, maybe Steve will. I need to think this through. I need to delay this conversation until I've thought it through.

"Nothing is wrong Christian. Just back off."

There is an awkward silence that seems to stretch out, unnaturally long as we stare each other out. Eventually I can't take it anymore and I have to look away.

"Sawyer, would you pull over at the next store you see. I need some water."

"Yes Sir." All too soon, Sawyer pulls over in the parking lot of a Mini Mart. He selects a parking space under some trees, in the far corner of the lot, away from other cars. He understands well enough that it is not water Christian wants, but privacy.

"Do you need anything else Sir or is it just the water?"

"No. Just water."

We are alone. I stay silent, not knowing what to say, and stare into my lap.

"What's with the attitude Ana?"

I shrug. I don't mean to appear like a brat, I am just at a loss as to what to say. I am cornered.

"Anastasia, do I need to give you a spanking?"

I shrug again… now I _feel_ like a brat!

"I am warning you Anastasia. I put up with your attitude last night but no more. You are going to tell me what the fuck is going on with you or I am going to check into a hotel and paddle your behind until you do. Do I make myself clear?"

Unable to meet his eyes, I nod my head a fraction to indicate that I understand.

"… well… I am waiting" I look up at the stern and expectant face of the man I love

"Please Christian, can we go and see Mom first? I just want to see my Mom?"

As I say 'Mom' my bottom lip wobbles, and once again, my eyes brim with tears that tumble in tiny torrents down my cheeks. Christian's face softens. He looks suddenly pained. He pulls to towards him and crushes me into his chest. At that moment Sawyer returns and gets back into the drivers seat. He says nothing as he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot into the street.

"Oh Anastasia Rose Grey, what am I going to do with you?" Christian asks as he kisses my hair. I can't blame him for being mad, or for worrying.

We arrive at the hospital and I go straight up to Mom's room. Bob is pleased to see us. Christian greets him warmly.

"Baby, I'm going to take Bob downstairs and get Sawyer to drive him home. I have a few calls to make. I won't be more than an hour. Go visit with your Mom.

Mom remembers little of being attacked. "Ana, you and Christian didn't need to make a midnight dash here. I'm flattered you did, but honestly, Christian must have better things to do with his time. You must go back home today and let him run his empire!" Mom protests, but I can tell she is pleased we came. She has colour in her cheeks, and apart from wincing when she moves from the pain in her ribs, looks well.

A nurse comes in, with arm full of bags, followed by another with an enormous white basket brimming over with hundreds of antique, dusty pink colored roses, tendrils of green foliage cascading, punctuated with sprays of tiny white scented flowers of some sort. I'm not good at flowers, all I know is they are gorgeous, expensive and therefore from Christian!

I unpack the packages from Macy's for Mom much to her delight. I unfold 3 nightgowns, 2 in pink silk and one in fine white cotton and lace, a beautiful cream colours silk robe, some hot pink velvet slippers, 2 fluffy white towels, a red leather vanity case stuffed with toiletries, perfume, hairbrush, hair ties and clips, moisturisers and a little floral silk purse containing a compact, lipstick, chap stick, tinted moisturiser and mascara. He thinks of everything.

"Ana, baby you're spoiling me! When did you get all this stuff?"

"It's not me Mom, it's Christian you need to thank!"

I put all the stuff away for her as she chats away while I nod and make interested noises without really listening. All I can focus on is what the hell am I going to do next? What am I going tell Christian and what am I going to say to my Mom? It's been about 40 minutes now since Christian left and he'll be back anytime. I need to talk to Mom - NOW.

"Mom, stop. I need to talk to you."

"Okay honey. Is something wrong?"

"I think I know who attacked you and I'm not sure why exactly but I think, if I show you something, maybe you might. I don't know."

"Ana? What are you talking about?"

"Mom, I think it's Steve Morton. He's been trying to talk to me and now he has my number in your phone." Mom's voice is suddenly distant. She pales and bites her lip in that same nervous way I have of biting mine.

"Steve? Oh God… Steve… What does he want with you? Why would he attack me?"

"When I went into your room at the house this morning, he'd turned out the drawers and closet and I found some pictures on the floor. Pictures of me. Mom… why have you got pictures of me, naked in your closet?"

I reach into my purse to take out the pictures but she stops me.

"Don't Ana. I can't bare to see them again."

"There's one of you too Mom… it looks like…"

"He beat me Ana. Just once. After you'd gone back to Montesano I found pictures of you. A lot of pictures of you; inappropriate pictures. I went nuts at him and he beat me. That's when I left him."

"Why did you keep the pictures Mom? Why don't I know about this?"

"Ana, you were broken. I couldn't lay this on you too. Steve didn't want a divorce and refused to co-operate. I kept the pictures as an insurance policy. That's why he agreed to a quick divorce in the end. I just wanted it over, him gone and forgotten. I didn't think you could cope with anymore. Not after what he did."

"But you let him do that to me Mom… You let beat me with that switch."

"I know baby. I was wrong. I just so desperate about your weight. I thought he was too. I didn't know what to do and he persuaded me that maybe all you needed was a spanking. I'm sorry. I was wrong, he went too far." Mom's eyes are full of tears.

"He didn't spank me, he beat me with a stick!"

"I know Ana. I'm sorry. I should have stopped him, I just didn't know what to do!" "Mom, after he finished, he took pictures."

"What? I didn't know! I promise, I never knew that."

"He's been threatening to show them to Christian. He wants money. I think he attacked you to get to me. Maybe to find those picture he knew you had too."

"He took pictures after he beat you? I didn't know. I swear I didn't know. I'm sorry Ana. It's all my fault. What does Christian say?"  
"I haven't told him. I can't bare him to know. Christian has… issues of his own. I'm not sure he could deal with this."

"Ana, you have to tell him. He can put a stop to this"

"Mom, you can't say anything to Christian. You need to let me handle this."

"Ana baby… he has to know,"

"You should have stopped Steve 5 years ago Mom, it's too late now. Let me handle this with Christian, please. This is my secret now not yours."

"I understand honey, but Steve is dangerous. YOU HAVE TO TELL Christian!"

"He's going to go thermonuclear over this…"

"I won't say anything if you promise me you'll tell him. TODAY? Otherwise I'm going to tell him myself. I won't let Steve hurt you. I won't make the same mistake again!" She says, as a fat tear falls onto her cheek.

I have to think for a moment. I know I have no choice now. I have to talk to him before my Mom does, or even worse, before Steve calls him himself.

"Okay Mom. I promise. I will talk to Christian today."

"Talk to me about what?" I spin round to see Christian entering the room behind me.


	29. Chapter 29 - Repercussions

Mom stares at me. Christian Stares at me.

The door swings open and in strides a nurse. "Mrs Adams, time for your lunch." She looks embarrassed, sensing the tension.

"Carla, Ana and I need to get back to Seattle. Will you be okay?"

As the nurse bustles about, setting up Mom's lunch table and helping her sit upright, Mom nods.

"Ana, you be sure to talk this over with your husband." Mom says deliberately making absolutely sure I have no other option. Christian narrows his eyes and I notice his jaw tighten.

"Anastasia has promised to tell me what is going on right after we leave here. Now, you get yourself better and let us know if you need anything." Stepping forward and wearing his trademark Christian Grey smile, he leans down and kisses Mom on the cheek. She grasps his arm and looks right at him. "Christian, Thank you so much for everything, for the flowers and everything else. You just make sure you look after my little girl. She needs taking care of. She looks exhausted and awfully thin." Christian simply nods, "I'm on it Carla, believe me. Now, I am going to take my wife out to lunch and then back to Seattle." He understands that there is much more behind her words than what she is saying.

"Bye Mom. Like Christian says, call if you or Bob need anything."

We get in the back of the car and head off. Christian must have already agreed with Sawyer where we are going because he says nothing to him. He just fixes me with his unshakable glare.

"What have you got to tell me Ana?"

"It's a long story. Don't you want to eat first? I think we need privacy, for some of it anyway."

That is clearly not the answer Christian either anticipated or wanted. He closes his eyes for a moment as if pained, releasing an almost undetectable breath at the same time.

"You are killing me here Ana. Just give me an idea. Have you done something that I… that I'd disapprove of?"

"Yes. I mean no… well nothing really bad… not on purpose, I mean… not like that. Only as a consequence of… of something else."

"Has someone hurt you? Is someone trying to hurt you?"

"Well, I guess yes, kind of. Please, we need to do this when we are alone."

He runs his hands anxiously through his hair. I feel awful for what I'm doing to him and stare down into my lap, repetitively twisting my wedding band. His hand gently stills mine. He gently squeezes my hand. Our eyes meet. "Christian, I love you. I have got myself into a mess is all and I need to find my way out."

"You just have to tell me what's going on so I can pull you out whatever mess it is Ana," He says softly as we stop outside a restaurant with olive trees in planters sitting in a neat row screening a large, canopied terrace. He adds in a sarcastic tone under his breath "… pull you out kicking and screaming by your hair if necessary… " he opens the door and steps out onto the kerb.

Christian uses his usual no nonsense tone with the waitress, who visibly blushes and looks away every time he speaks to her. He orders poached salmon and sautéed potatoes with salad for both of us to be washed down with a crisp bottle of Chablis.

As Christian pours my wine having impatiently dismissed the waitress – I thought she was going to cry! – he can't help himself…

"Who were you supposed to be meeting at the Heathman on Thursday Anastasia?"

I am taken aback. He knew!

"Umm I um…." I don't want to have this conversation on the terrace of a crowded restaurant! "You agreed we could talk about this when we are in private." I whisper across the table urgently.

"I agreed nothing Ana. Just tell me who… or you'd so help me this will be the last meal you can eat sitting down for some time!"

"Shit Christian… I don't know where to start… it's complicated."

"Start with the name of the man whom you ditched security and your best friend in the middle of the night for; the man for whom you then defied my driving ban and hired a death trap of a sports car and drove across a state to meet in secret. The man for whom you have told a tissue of lies ever since; the man you persuaded Kate and my brother lie for in a shambolic and ineffective attempt to cover your tracks. The man who in the last few days has turned my sweet, funny and gentle wife into a nervous wreck one moment and a foot stamping brat who could frankly do with a damn good spanking the next. Start with the name Anastasia."

"How did you know I ditched Kate?"

"_That's_ the part you choose to focus on Anastasia? Really?"

"I just… I thought that you… you know"

"You thought I'd swallowed a pack of lies about you and Kate disappearing off to get references? No I didn't. I knew you went alone before I'd even landed. Elliot confirmed what I already knew when you all arrived back."

"Oh… so Elliot told you the truth? I didn't know."

"Ana Elliot knows I don't tolerate dishonesty. He didn't want to lie, he was persuaded and I am prepared to put it down to a temporary lapse of judgement. I told him not to tell Kate or you that I knew the truth. It was the least he could do after going against his better judgement and lying in the first place. As I said, he didn't tell me you went alone, he just confirmed what I knew already. I called the Heathman myself from the plane."

"Of course you did!" I sound more sarcastic than I intend, my eyes rolling skyward as I speak.

"Be careful Ana; I have been very patient, and I have tolerated bad behaviour for long enough. My patience has run out, I you will not get away with tantrums, lies and smart remarks any longer."

Our food arrives. For once, the arrival of food is a welcome relief! As the waitress places in front of us large white plates, with a tower of potatoes salmon and attractive leaves artfully arranged in the centre, another waitress refills our glasses, Christian reaches into his pocket, pulling out his Blackberry. Funny, _I didn't hear it ring._ He doesn't put is to his ear but looks intently at the screen as he appears to scroll through emails. This is unlike Christian who is usually the master of good manners. The moment the waitress asks us if she can get us anything else, Christian dismisses her and hands me his Blackberry.

"Look at the picture. Is that the man you were meeting?"

I look down, horrified, at a picture of Steve. He has a little less hair than I remember and is thicker around the middle, but him alright. And I recognise where he is standing almost at once… he is at the reception desk at the Heathman.

"How did you get this?"

"Welch. He sent someone over to intercept him. Unfortunately, apart from a picture we got nothing. He made a scene and left. We had no way of identifying him, except perhaps for this picture. So who is he Anastasia and what does he want with you?"

"His name is Steve Morton."

"Why do I know that name? Who is he?"

"He was married to my Mom, after Ray."

"Husband number 3. I remember. Why were you meeting him in secret?"

"He's not nice man Christian…"

"All the more confusing as to why you'd meet him at all, let alone without security."

"He was trying to blackmail me. I didn't want you to know."

Christian looks exasperated. Running his hands through his hair, jaw clenched tight. I know that if we were in private, he would be going bat shit crazy right about now. He calms himself, looks deep into my eyes and in a low, steady, unfaltering voice he commands "pick up your knife and fork and eat your lunch. All of it. We will continue this discussion in private." Uh oh!

I eat. Christian doesn't speak. I'm not sure he can. Eventually, in a small voice I venture… "Are you mad with me Christian?"

"Off the scale." He replies looking at me for the first time since he told me to eat. He continues after a moments pause, "Ana, baby, I just cannot fathom why you choose to try and handle these things all by yourself. It makes me more furious than you can imagine."

"but…."

"NO BUTS! Do you have any idea how much we invest in security?"

"No, of course I don't"

"It's a sit load of money Ana. And this kind of crap is precisely what I employ them to deal with. When you have the kind of wealth we have, nut-jobs coming out of the woodwork, trying to extort money is so commonplace it is normal! You just pass it on to security and forget about it. YOU DO NOT arrange to meet them in private without telling anyone where the fuck you are going! Jeez, I don't know why I fucking bother." He glances over at me. I am trying not to cry.

"Don't you dare stop eating Anastasia. … I don't mean to be harsh with you, but you have been so mind bogglingly stupid this time. I don't know any other way. I have no idea how I'm going to deal with this… with you. Just eat your damn lunch."

"There is a lot more to it than that Christian. A lot more." And I look at him, imploring him not to be angry with me. Christian takes a deep breath and sighs. Dabbing his mouth with his napkin he looks at me and his face softens somewhat.

"I am sure there is baby. We will talk about after lunch. Eat."

After dinner, I can barely keep my eyes open. I fall asleep in the back of the car on the way to the airport and only wake when Christian opens my door and takes my hand to help me out onto the tarmac. As soon as we are in the air, Christian asks Natalie for a whisky for him and a diet Coke for me. When we have our drinks, he orders that we not be disturbed. And so here we are, alone. No more excuses.

"I am waiting Ana…"

"I know. Okay – here goes. When you were away last week, I got a letter…"

I go on to explain the chronology of what happened. The letter, the conversation that followed. I don't tell him about what Steve did to me… not yet. I have to handle it carefully. I explain about Steve, about how he used to bully and threaten and how by the time they got married I had already lost a lot of weight. I am getting closer to telling him, Christian is looking more and more frustrated as I explain.

"This doesn't stack up Ana. He had nothing to blackmail you with. You knew before I went to China that I knew all about your weight loss and the clinic. Why the fuck would me knowing that be a problem anyway? I am your goddamn husband! You are not telling me something."

"No, you are right. I'm working up to it. You aren't going to like it…"

With that Christian suddenly stands and starts pacing, holding his whisky in one hand, running his other hand through his hair.

"Fuck fuck fuck. Did he… did he touch you? Sexually? He fucking touched you didn't he? He abused you. Fuck, did your stepfather rape you Anastasia?" He is getting angry again.

I stand square in front of him and place my hands on either side of his head, and say simply "No. No one else has touched me but you. Never."

Christian takes a deep, cleansing breath, his relief clearly visible. He places a hand under my chin, stroking my cheek with his forefinger. "You'd better tell me what it was then."

"Not here. The bedroom."

"We are alone Ana, nobody is listening."

"Please. I just… I need this to feel private. Completely private."

Christian leads me into the bedroom, closes and locks the door behind us. I sit on the end of the bed. He sits opposite on the small white upholstered stool that sits in front of the cabin vanity unit.

"Before I tell you…" as I speak, I can see him rolling his eyes. He is right… that is annoying! "before I tell you, I want you to know that I don't want things to change between us. I love our life together. I love your particular way of… looking after me. If it changed, I would be heartbroken." Christian says nothing, just cocks his head, adopting a slightly confused look.

"I said Steve was a bully. He was. He used to scare me to death. He threatened to punish me, often. I was in no doubt that he wanted nothing more than to beat me black and blue and would have used any excuse. I coped. I stopped eating. I lost weight. It helped me. It helped me feel I had some control over my own life. Then, one day, after they married, he tried to force me to eat by threatening me with a switch. I wouldn't and I knew he just longed to punish me. My Mom says she'd told him he could spank me. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know what to do and Steve persuaded her that all I needed was a spanking. When I refused to eat, he went into the garden to cut a switch, but I didn't wait around to find out what he was going to do with it. I ran out, I took his car. I was only just 16 years old and couldn't drive so the inevitable happened and I smashed it into a parked car just a couple of blocks away. When Steve caught up with me, he took the blame for the accident, then he beat me with that switch until I couldn't stand up. He took pictures of his handiwork.

When he sent that letter, he told me he'd show you the pictures, tell you I was a delinquent, that he saved me from jail. I couldn't let him. He was a sadist Christian, you are not. You have never made me feel like that… well maybe once, for a moment a long, long time ago."

"The belt." He says in a flat, expressionless voice.

"Yes, the belt. But that on time, was in my head. It's like you and touching. You couldn't bare me to touch you once because of how you'd been touched in the past. I remember, that day… with the belt. I told you then that I hated the idea of punishment like you hated being touched. It was true, I did. I did because of Steve. All you knew of being touched was being touched cruelly, by an inhuman pimp when you weren't much more than a baby. All I knew of punishment was Steve. But now Christian, touching for you is all about love and intimacy and you and me together. It's just the same for me. What we have, what you do with me, it's all about love, about our closeness, and our bond."

I can't look at him. I feel afraid. I am terrified that the knowledge of what Steve Morton did will have wounded him, or worse. If Christian thinks he has hurt me, that he has in some way tortured or damaged me with his threats and discipline, If he thinks I have ever looked at him and seen Steve, if this makes him feel like a sick sadist again, like he used to, if any of that is true, it will break him and it might break us. I couldn't bare if this changed things between us. I have grown to love all aspects of out relationship. His control is born out of love, and although when he spanks me for punishment it hurts and I don't like it, the fact he needs to do it, the fact he will do it… well, I find that steaming hot. I love our life.

I look up. His face gives nothing away.

"And Carla… what did she do to protect you?"

"Nothing. I don't think she really knew till that day how he was with me. I didn't tell her."

"No surprises there. You keep everything in." his face is hard, eyes dark, and his jaw is tight as he says this. I know it drives him nuts.

"I ran off to live with Ray the day after. We never spoke of Steve again… until today. I found some pictures at Moms, in all that mess. Here… one is of Mom. He beat her." I pull the picture out of my purse and hand it to him. " He beat her just once,. It was after I left to live with my dad. She found some pictures of me. He took them in secret."

I can't bear to describe any more. I just hand him the pictures. As he holds them in his hand, I notice it has begun to shake.

"Mom kept them. Insurance. She used them to persuade him to agree to a quick divorce. There is a letter too, from him dated just before they divorced. I haven't read it yet but.." As I take it out of my purse, Christian snatches it from my hand, opens it and scans it's content, before folding it once more, and standing to put it into his back pocket. He still hasn't said a word. "Christian, I think it was Steve that attacked Mom. I think he broke into her house and I think he was looking for more pictures… like those ones. He called me Christian. Today. He has Moms cellphone. He has my number, and yours too."

"Give me your Balackberry." He holds out his hand. I fish around in mt purse and hand it to him.

"I want you to get into bed and get some sleep. We won't land for another 3 hours, you need to rest."

"What does the letter say?"

"Not now Anastasia. Bed."

"But Christian… I need to know what you are thinking!"  
"Just do what you are damn well told!"

"But how can I sleep when I…"

"I swear to God Anastasia, if you don't get into that bed this minute, I won't be responsible for my actions!"

Reluctantly, peel off my jeans, and I climb into the bed wearing just my panties and vest top. "Go to sleep. Do not even think about getting up before I come back."

He sweeps out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him. I'm shell shocked. I feel hollow, empty, like I've been winded. I feel as if my world might just collapse around my ears. He just walked out? Is he mad with me? Is he even talking to me? Is he hurt or has this messed with his mind so much he's lost his reason? I sit in the middle of the bed, hugging my knees that are hunched up to my chest. I want to follow him. I want answers. I want to know if things are broken between us. I want to know what the fuck is in that letter!

I creep out of the bed and cross the room. I open the door a crack and peer out. The short corridor is empty. I slowly venture out of the bedroom. When I reach the cabin I poke my face around the door. Christian in a seat, his back to me, the letter laid out on the table in front of him next to my Blackberry. At first I think he is quietly talking to himself, then I realise he is on the phone. As I approach, his face freezes, his eyes seem to darken and his jaw stiffens.

"I will call you back" he says to whoever is on the other end of the phone, then hangs up.

He stands. His voice is controlled, quiet, familiar in it's unequivocal tone "Did I not make myself clear enough?"

"yes but…"

"No buts. I told you earlier, my patience has run out. Did you think it was a good idea to test me on that?"

"No, I was just worried."

"I am not dumb. I see the difference between the behaviour of a sick Paedo with sadistic tendencies and my own need for control and need to keep you safe. But just in case you need a little reassurance…let me put your mind at rest Mrs Grey"

He grabs my arm at the wrist and pulls me behind him back to the bedroom where he sits on the bed and yanks me firmly across his lap. _Oh! That is not what I expected at all! _

Maybe I've been worrying about nothing all this time? It sure doesn't _feel_ like he is worried that he can't act like he always has with me.

"This spanking is long overdue."

And as if answering my thoughts, Christian yanks down my panties and brings his firm hand down on my behind, spanking it rosie red!


	30. Chapter 30 - Seven Shades of Scarlet

Held down across my husband's firm thighs, his vice like left hand is gripping me around my left hip, his forearm across my back, pinning me to him. My naked behind sticks up high in the air. Christian raises his right knee fractionally higher than his left, thus throwing me off balance and increasing my feeling vulnerability. I am dependent on my husband's strength to hold me aboard. Before I have even steadied myself I feel the sharp sting of his first swat as the flat of his large hand, with the full force of his frustration, connects with the soft target that is my upturned bare bottom. Upside-down, and winded a little by my surprise, I wrap my arms around his solid left leg to steady myself. Once again his hand descends. By the third or forth slap in quick succession, one cheek then the other, I can feel the hot sting building.

This spanking is not like the punishments he has given be… This one is more like that first spanking he ever gave me, in my room in Portland.

It is not that he doesn't spank me hard, he certainly does, as my scarlet behind will bare witness. No, the difference is subtle. Perhaps it exists only in my head; something in the way he holds me, the way he strikes me that differs from those spankings he gave me simply to punish me and stop his fear and loss of control and my defiance. It is not that I doubt his desire to punish me for transgressions, to punish me for putting myself at risk and desperately try to persuade me with his punishment never to scare him again. I have no doubt that many times in the last few days he has longed to put me in this position, when I have stamped my foot, pouted, argued, disobeyed, lied and yelled at him. But that is not what he is doing now. This is about affirmation. This is him telling me that he loves me so much it hurts. This is his desperate need to feel he still has some control over me and to feel me submit to that control.

His powerful, hot stinging swats come again and again, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. They hurt, but I want this. I do not cry out, as his hand hits me again and again, on what is by now my highly sensitive and scorching derriere; instead, I gulp down air with each powerful smack. I will myself not to reach back. Reflex makes me squirm slightly in response only serving to tighten his grip around my him. I try to control my flailing legs, to grip his leg instead of shield my vulnerability. His hold, much like his resolve, remains solid, firm and unshakable.

I was so scared that once Christian knew about Steve, he wouldn't be able to do this again. I was scared because I need this. Scared because part of the powerful attraction I feel for Christian is bound up in his dominance of me. Part of the electricity that binds us to one another body and soul.

On the 18th swat, the hardest by far, he stops. He places his hand softly on my scorching sore behind and holds me in place for a few long moments. My body is limp with release. My behind is stinging hot but not as hot as the building feeling between my thighs.

He pulls me upright and stands me between his legs in front of him. He grips my arms, just above the wrists in one in each hand. "Don't defy me Ana"

"No Sir" I reply, staring deep into his perfect grey eyes. I am hungry for him.

"I Haven't finished with you yet."

He stands and turns us both around so that my back is to the bed, the backs of my knees pressed against the edge of the mattress. Letting go of my wrists he suddenly takes my jaw in the hand that moments ago was spanking me.

He tilts my head. His lips are on me, his tongue purposefully, exploring. He is lighting fires inside me as I stand before him, my panties now lying at my feet, my freshly spanked bottom bared, hot and tender, my jaw firmly but tenderly clamped in his hand, his lips my oxygen mask, his frantic kiss, my air.

Releasing my jaw suddenly he grasps the hem of my vest and swiftly pulls it over my head. He reaches behind me, and with one deft flick of his fingers, released my bra, allowing it to fall at our feet. Then, placing both his hands on my breasts, cupping them momentarily, without warning he gives a sharp push, sending me falling backwards, onto the bed. I wriggle back along the bed a little, towards the headboard propping myself up awkwardly on my elbows, my behind a stinging reminder of what just happened as it rubs against the bedding. Newly positioned I glace up at Christian in time to watch as in one fluid movement he divests himself of his shirt, unbuttons his pants and slides them down his hips.

The next moment, his hands grip me firmly underneath my knees, and he yanks hard, pulling me off my elbows and back down the bed, the friction of my sore behind against the Egyptian cotton sheets, causing me a sharp intake of breath as my eyes spring wide with the shock.

"Are we a little tender Mrs Grey?"

"Yes Sir"

"Good. I like you tender."

He pulls my legs apart and grips my by my hips, lifting my bottom off the bed.

"Let's take the weight off the afflicted area" he says with a smile.

He pulls me to him, my head and shoulders lying back on the bed, Christian supporting my lower half. He positions himself at my opening, and I feel the tip of his erection brush against me, like a gentle kiss. I wet my bottom lip with my tongue before biting down, the anticipation of feeling him fill me unbearable. He firmly yanks me closer, slamming into me into me.. At this angle, he is pressing hard against the front wall of my vagina, back and forth, hard and urgent, filling me up and giving a glorious belly ache deep within.

He thrusts himself into me like he spanked me, hard, steady, relentless and with ferocious determination. This time I cannot stop myself crying out, as I feel myself spiralling up, higher and higher, heading for a delicious heady peak, so close now. He thrusts once more, hard and stills, just as I reach the crest. My hands bunching the sheets into fists, my neck extended and my head tipped back, eyes tight shut, lips parted in my rapture. He holds me hard against him as I feel his release spill over into me, and I tumble and fall over the crest, my legs wrapped around him desperately, gripping him for dear life as my orgasm pulses through every fibre of me.

He sets my behind gently down onto the bed, standing back, glorious in his nakedness.

"Are you okay Ana?"

"Better than okay. I'm not sure my butt would agree though!"

"Roll over." I narrow my eyes at him for a moment, but not wanting him to think that I don't trust him. I roll over onto my front, and look back at him over my shoulder. He takes a good look at my spanked ass and smiles. "A job well done even if I do say so myself." I blush. "Stay there" he says, before turning, and walking naked out of the bedroom and into the adjacent bathroom. He comes back with a small glass bottle of white lotion, with a pump dispenser sticking out of the top. "No Christian, please, I hate it when you do that… it's so embarrassing!" I clamp my right hand to my tender bottom, shielding it… pretty ineffectively!

"Are you kidding? I spank your ass seven shades of scarlet and _this_ is embarrassing? Scoot over and hold still."

He picks up the hand that was shielding me and places it on the pillow beside my face. He squirts some lotion into his hands and tenderly rubs it into my sore buttocks.

"There, you'll do!" he says, and he gives my ass a playful slap.

"Ow! Christian!" he pulls out a sheet from under me and lays it over the bed, Crawling in underneath it and pulling me into his arms.

"Are you still mad with me?"

"Of course. You should have told me all about all of this right away. No wonder you've been such nightmare."

"I have not been a nightmare!" I say petulantly, swatting Christian's chest.

"Hay! That's enough of that" He rolls over on top of me, pinning my wrists to the pillow either side of my head. "Do you need another trip across my knee?"

"No! I just don't think I've been as bad as you make out…" I cannot keep the grin off my face.

"You've been a disobedient brat." Christian is grinning too

"I'm always disobedient!" He kisses me

"I know." He rolls his eyes and rolls off me, releasing my wrists and pulling me back into his arms.

"I'm serious though. Trying to hide this was dumbest thing you've ever done."

"I thought it would be too hard for you. I thought you might… stop being… you know… stop being you."

"Never," He kisses the top of my head, reaching down and placing is hand on my behind. "I hope I have put your mind at rest!"

"Yeah… I got that message loud and clear."

He pats my behind then sits up, reaching down for his boxers and pants.

"Hey where are you going?" I protest.

"I have calls to make. You are exhausted; you need to sleep. I mean it baby. I don't want you out of that bed before we start our descent into Seattle." He says wagging a finger in my direction. This is no good. I can't have him keeping me in the dark. I want to know what he's doing, and I want to know what is in the letter. As he pulls on his pants and shirt I decide to tackle him head on.

"You aren't keeping me in the dark this time Christian. I can't handle it. I want to know what you're doing and I need to read that letter." I sound like I'm pouting; but this is more than a pout. Keeping me safe is one thing but I won't let him shield me from my own life any more.

"Lose the attitude Ana. I have no intention of keeping anything from you. I'm calling Welch. You interrupted our call earlier. I need to give him the heads up on Steve and I need get now Blackberries organised now both yours and mine have been compromised. You can read the letter after you've slept. It's upsetting you don't need any more bad dreams. Besides, there is nothing in it you don't already know. It'll be useful if we ever get a chance to prosecute him though so I need to keep it safe."

"I'll be okay, I want to read it."

"No! Sleep. I'll show you when we're home. And don't pout about it either."

I throw myself backwards into the bed, folding my arms and curling up on my side to taking the pressure off my behind. He pulls the sheets up over me

"That's better," he says kissing me. Pulling back he smiles, shaking his head. "Sleep."

He leaves the room, pulling down the blinds on the two cabin windows en route.

It seems like moments later that Christian is rocking me awake.

I pull on my cloths, adding a sweater to stave off the Seattle fall temperatures.

It doesn't seem long before we are sitting in the back of our Audi SUV, Taylor at the wheel. Sitting down, my butt against the denim of my jeans makes it tricky to get comfortable and Christian is amused by my discomfort. I curl up against him and nap again only to be woken as we arrive at Escala. As we ride up in the elevator, Christian has his hand in the back pocket of my jeans. Christian has no back pockets in his pants, so by way of reciprocation I put my hand in his pocket. I feel a Blackberry in there. My Blackberry? I wonder. I pull it out of his pocket.

"What are you doing Ana?"

"Is this mine?"

"Yes. There is a new one waiting for you in my study."

"Let me turn this on, I just want to check something before I hand it over."

"Okay, but if it is your voicemail, I want to hear too."

The doors of the elevator part as we reach the apartment. "Come" he says and he pulls me along into his study. I put my Blackberry on speaker, dialling my voicemail. First is the message from Steve that I listened to in the car outside Moms place, then a message I haven't heard.

"Anastasia, do not think that I am afraid of a few threats from an overpaid bunch of heavies. You can tell your fat cat husband he needs to back off, or I'm going public. If you want control of what I got to share, you need to pay me. I will be in touch."

"Happy now? Christian asks

"No, not happy at all, but you can keep the Blackberry. What was he talking about?"

"Welch. He … made an approach. Seems to have pissed Mr Morton off considerably" He says, wearing a self satisfied grin.

"Now Mrs Grey, lets go shower then, you are having a snack. You're body clock must be all over the place and it's hours till dinner. By the way, I've invited Kate and Elliot over. I thought we should all clear the air.

"The air is perfectly clear"

"Yes but I can't have Kate thinking that I ever believed her little lies. We are family, well nearly anyway. We need to straighten this out."

"Fuck Christian, what will we eat?"

"I don't know. I thought we could go down to the Deli and pick up some things. I'll help you cook!" I giggle. He spins me, swats me gently on the ass and pushes be out of the door, throwing the Blackberry on the desk on his way out. "Come wench, shower."

Christian goes into our bathroom and strips, turning the water on. He comes back into our bedroom as I finish undressing. I have thrown my jeans, sweater and top into the laundry basket and standing in front of the bed, back to the shower room, I slip out of my bra. I spot Christians naked reflection in the window opposite. I pretend I haven't seen him leaning, arms folded in the doorway. I bend over, and slowly slide out of my panties, wiggling my behind provocatively in his direction. I detect his breath hitching as he glimpses my behind, no doubt still pink from the spanking he gave me.

Like a cat, he is waiting to pounce. Suddenly, he is behind me, one arm hooking me around my waist, the other cupping my sex. I feel his growing erection against the small of my back as I stand straight. His fingers explore, intrude, delicately circle, tickling and teasing my groin. Jolts of extraordinary pleasure shoot through me like shock waves, forcing my head back against Christian's chest.

"Aghhh, Christian, please…"

"Shhhh, still Ana" And with that he presses me tight to him, holding me still against the electrifying sensations he is arousing.

Without warning he bends me forward, pressing into the mattress so I am resting on my elbows and forearms on the bed. I feel him descend, he pulls my ankles apart and kneels between them. In that moment his tongue takes over where his fingers left off, around and around, sending glorious shivers of delight coursing along my spine. His skilled tongue penetrates while his hands firmly hold my behind, gently separating my still tender buttocks a fraction, increasing my sense of vulnerability. He brings me higher and higher quickly, then just as I think I can't hold on any longer, he pulls back "Not yet Ana" He whispers urgently, before getting to his feet, positioning himself behind me and raising me up a little, so I am on my tip toes. I feel the tip of his erection against my highly charged and super sensitive sex. In one swift movement he fills me. My pelvis responds, meeting his every thrust, Grinding against him. It does not take long. Christian cries out my name as he spills over into me and I am lost.

"Wow Christian… That was a very welcome if unexpected surprise"

"Well what can you expect if you go wiggling that delightful pink little ass of yours in my direction?" He holds out his hand for me

"I'm not sure I can stand", I say, straightening up, and wobbling a little as I get my balance

"Please let me help baby," and he bends down, clamps his arm across my thighs and rises, with me draped over his shoulder, my butt high in the air. I've been here several times before and I can't stifle my giggles.

The bathroom is steamy from the shower that has been running for several minutes. Christian marches with me across to the shower. As he steps under the hot stream of water, it hits my butt making me kick my feet up and squeal. Christian swats me before sliding me back down to earth.

After our shower we dress. I steer clear of jeans with rough denim, thick seams and rivets to rub against my behind, and opt instead for a pair of red Capri pants and a sloppy buttermilk coloured sweater that falls off one shoulder.

Sitting at the breakfast bar, Christian takes out a plate of cheese and some crackers and fruit. I help myself to a couple of crackers, a small wedge of English Cheddar Cheese and some grapes. Christian seems satisfied.

"May I see that letter now?"

He seems resigned but agrees. "Give me a minute" he says and disappears towards his study I guess. A few moments later he emerges with the letter in his hand. As he approaches me his eyes never leave mine. He sits up at the breakfast bar next to me, placing the letter on the counter in front.

"Baby, when you read this, think of it as evidence. Please don't dwell of what he wrote. It was a long time ago, and the man is clearly deranged"

_Hmmm… that doesn't bode well. Better take a deep breath and dive in!_

I pick up the letter and standing, and walking towards the huge window in the great room, I start to read,

_29__th__ November 2006_

_Carla_

_I thought I might have knocked some sense into that stubborn head of yours. _

_For the record, your daughter has been coming on to me since we met. She is an attention seeker and has been deliberately starving herself to get me to notice her and react. I have told you several times, __**she**__ bombarded __**me**__ with photographs which I expect she persuaded some poor sap boyfriend to take. I am hurt that you think I could have been responsible. I have tried to be a father to that girl. I have tried to give her a little discipline and believe me it hurt me to do it, but she was taking thinks far too far. When she stole my car and crashed it I could have left her to the police, but, like a loving father I stepped in and took the blame myself. And now, when she has finally realised I am not going to be swayed by her advances, she runs off to live with Ray. It is just a teenage pout, she is a brat and this is just rebellion against the only real discipline she has ever received. I don't see how you can deny she needed to be given clear boundaries. You clearly weren't up to disciplining her. She'd end up in jail if it weren't for me._

_I know it all got a little out of hand the other night, but how am I supposed to react to my wife accusing be of being a pervert and a sadist and out of the blue demanding a divorce. I won't have it Carla. I won't let you throw away what we've got for the sake of a teenage crush. I will not give you a divorce. I want you back and now Ana has gone back to Ray, we have a real chance._

_Call me. I love you_

_Steve_

By the time I read the last word, I am by the window. I don't feel like crying. I raise my eyes to look unseeing at the view of the Sound, but otherwise I am motionless; without thought or feeling. I feel Christian's right hand snake around my shoulder, his left around my waist. He stands behind me and squeezes me to him. Reaching over my shoulder, he takes the letter out of my hand, folds it in half dexterously in his right hand and puts it in his back pocket. His hand returns to it's spot, across my front once the letter is stowed.

"You okay Ana?"

"I guess so. It's a lot to take in."

"Yes; best forgotten I think."

"Hard to forget Christian. I don't think I'll ever forget those pictures, of Mom, of me, and what he said about me trying to get his attention…" Is I speak, I hear my own voice crack before I feel the lump rising in my throat.

"Hey Ana, enough of that. Your Mom knew it was all crap and so do we." He releases me from his hold, turns me and places a tender kiss on my lips. "Now let's go down to the Deli, get coffee and decide what we're going to cook our guests tonight. Better make sure Kate likes it, because she's not going to like the lecture I've been preparing for her."

"Oh no Christian, you wouldn't… _please_"

Christian smiles and kisses me on the end of my nose, before turning, taking my hand and leading me towards the elevator.

The afternoon sunshine is warm, but the Seattle air is cool. We walk the block down to Ralph's deli, where Christian has an espresso and I have my favourite English Breakfast Tea. This is what I need, it feels so normal. We plan our dinner, and settle on a crayfish and salad appetizer, followed by Linguini with a Carbonara sauce and a fruit tart for desert. We shop for all the ingredients and pick out a delicious looking glazed apricot tart. Christian spends the longest time selecting 2 bottles of Italian wine to go with the Carbonara. Once we've finished our shopping, we wander back home, I carry a bag, Christian carries two in one hand and drapes the other over my shoulder.

No one else, just him and me in the cool Seattle sunshine. I look up at him, copper highlights in his dishevelled hair, glinting, his eyes, behind his Ray Bans, echoing the is thousand megawatt smile. He is beautiful and all mine and I am happy.


	31. Chapter 31 - Safety First

Kate and Elliot arrive 18 minutes late. I know this because I am married to Christian Grey who notices everything and for whom nobody is ever late. I watch him with amusement as the minutes pass. He does not complain. He shows no visible sign of annoyance, save nonchalantly glancing at his watch approximately every 2 minutes. I count him do this nine times. His face is the very essence of composure... I know different!

I've chosen to wear flats, dark blue jeans and a fine knit cashmere sweater in black. My sweater is cute and falls off the shoulder but cuteness was not my agenda this evening. No, I've deliberately chosen it because it's loose and hides my figure enough that I hope my appetite won't be top of Christian's agenda tonight.

Of course when they do arrive, Christian says nothing about their tardiness and greets them warmly. Elliot gives me his customary bear hug, which lifts me onto my tip toes and almost crushes the life out of me. "Hey Ana, you've beefed up a little... still a little shrimp but I'm glad to feel a little meat on those bones!" he teases, never one to mince his words slapping my rump as if I'm a prize steer. Christian narrows his eyes at his brother and for a brief moment I wonder if Elliot's affectionate slap will earn him a fraternal punch on the nose! I roll my eyes.

Kate looks drop dead gorgeous as ever. She has started to 'shape up' in the rundown to the wedding, _not that Kate has ever needed to 'shape up'!_ She looks radiant and annoyingly tall and slender in all the right places. She is wearing a pair of tight black pants with just a hint of sparkle, teamed with a strapless nude coloured bandage style top that is tailored to fit her shape perfectly. Her strawberry blond hair falls in thick curls down her back, caressing her perfect, naked shoulders. She is, as ever, stunning. Her arms, willowy and elegant, her waist long and slender, her butt is the perfect shape, and her legs look amazing in her killer heals. I am beginning to regret my choice of outfit. Apart from anything else, I feel like a dwarf in the land of the giants as everyone towers above me. Kate has always looked amazing and I have always felt like a clumsy little frump beside her, but tonight that difference seems more apparent than usual. _Elliot's wrong, I'm not a little shrimp, I'm a runt!_

Christian fixes everyone a drink. When I have my gin and tonic, I slip into the kitchen to finish plating up our appetizer. Kate follows me with her drink. I am relieved when she kicks off her shoes. She is taller than me but no longer towering above me. I place crayfish and salad leaves as artfully as I am able onto the white porcelain plates, topping with cayenne mayonnaise. I leave mayo off my own plate. A three course meal will be challenge enough, I don't need that shit!

"You know he plans to give you a lecture tonight Kate?" I tease her as we giggle in the kitchen over our drinks.

"I know, Elliot warned me. That's why we were late; we err... had words!"

"Oh... 'words', I see."

"It's okay Ana. I owe Christian an apology and I'm a big girl. I can handle him."

I raise my eyebrows at her. I'm not so sure!

"How is your Mom anyway?"

"She's okay thank God. "

"Jeez, what happened?"

"Long story... Steve basically" Kate practically spits her drink across the room

"What?" She says in an almost hysterical whisper. "Fuck Ana. Does Christian know?"

"Know what?" Christian asks suspiciously as he comes into the kitchen with Elliot.

"I was telling Kate about what happened to Mom, you know; that it looks like it was Steve" I explain rapidly."

"Ahh. I see. Kate you know trying to keep me in the dark, no matter how good the intention, would always be a hiding to nothing. I don't like lying, and I always find out."

"Yes Christian, I realize that. It was just a snap decision, a bad one granted. Elliot has made that quite clear. I'm sorry."

"Good. I won't labour the point. You are family now Kate. You need to understand I will not tolerate dishonesty."

"I get the point Christian, like you say, don't labour it!" she says winking, with a twinkle in her eye and an irresistible cheeky smile on her face. I watch Christian, who narrows his eyes, before breaking into a smile; shaking his head as if defeated by her charm. He holds her shoulders, spins her round on the spot and pushes her out of the kitchen "Elliot, she's impossible, go take her to sit down at the table. I'll help Ana carry these in." _WOW! Kate that was masterful; disarming Christian Grey with a wink and a smile! I should take notes._

"Was _that_ your lecture Mr Grey? You never let me off that lightly! I think maybe you're losing your edge." I venture with more than a hint of mirth.

He walks over to the fridge, reaches in and brings out the jar of mayo. He walks past me, picking up a spoon and adding a dollop of mayo to the forth plate on the counter; my plate. He places the mayo and spoon on the counter and picks up the plate... "Losing my edge eh? Do you want to test me on that Mrs Grey?" He holds out the plate for me to take from him. I hesitate...

"No; it's okay." I answer, taking up the plate he holds out and picking up Kate's on my way over to the dining table. Christian follows with his and Elliot's plates of food.

Dinner is fun. I really thought that with all the distraction, Christian might ease up on me over how much I actually eat - _Christian ease up? What was I thinking? _- He quietly encourages me with a look here, a word or a nudge there. He is kind and by and large discreet, but firm. I eat most of my dinner. Conversation is so easy with Kate and Elliot. This is the best time I have had for weeks! By bedtime, I am happy, full, a little tipsy and absolutely exhausted. When I wake, it is daylight. I don't remember going to sleep actually; I must have been unconscious before my head hit the pillow.

Before I know it, it is Monday morning and I am being driven to work by Sawyer. Normality feels comforting, though I have a lot to catch up on I'm sure. There is a stack of papers on my desk a mil high and my inbox is bursting with emails for me.

I spend an hour or so sifting through them. Among them, there is one from Dr Knight.

**From:** Dr. Caroline Knight

**Subject:** October 18 - 20

**Date:** October 17th 2011 8.26am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Dear Mrs Grey,

As you are aware your husband contacted me last week regarding your recent difficulties. I will be in Seattle from Tuesday on a three day conference. I have spoken to your assistant Hannah regarding scheduling a time to meet. I was hoping you could call me sometime this morning. Hannah has my number.

Looking forward to meeting you

Regards

Dr. Caroline Knight

_Great! _Well I guess I'd better bite the bullet and call her. Hmmmm; maybe later. As I contemplate my next move, another email comes in...

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Reminders

**Date:** October 17th 2011 8.56am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Hi Baby,

I apologise for bombarding you with lists first thing on Monday

1. Caroline Knight will be contacting you to schedule your appointment. Let me know when it is. I want to support you.

2. Guillaume Bourdot will be with you a little early for his first day. DO NOT give him a hard time Ana.

3. Taylor has arranged an advanced driving course for the weekend. I am considering letting you have your car back next week.

4. Finally and I really hope I don't need to remind you of this - until we know exactly where Steve Morton is, security will be very tight. BEHAVE. Keep Sawyer with you at all times and DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD. I need to know you are safe. I mean it.

Call me if you need anything.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

How can I not roll my eyes? He is so bossy! I can't resist teasing him a little.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Orders

**Date:** October 17th 2011 9.45am

**To:** Christian Grey

Mein Fuhrer

Orders received and understood. Comments below...

1. Dr. Knight has already emailed. I'll call her later.

2. Frankly I am a little offended at the inference that I might be anything other than a model of politeness and affability with my new 'lunch chef'; (even though I do think it is just about the craziest extravagance I've ever heard of, not to mention a pain in the ass!)

3. Yay! I love my car, I love my car, I love my car! Thank you. Does this mean I'm 'ungrounded'?

4. Of course you don't need to remind me about Steve... Duh! I'm not a moron. I promise not to run off without Sawyer. I hope that helps moderate your more veracious overprotective urges

your obedient servant

Ana xxxxx

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Audacious emails and cavalier attitudes...

**Date:** October 17th 2011 9.56am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

... can get a girl in trouble!

Call the doctor. Make the appointment.I'll give you 'pain in the ass'!Your car is not a toy and you are not 'ungrounded', especially after the dramas of last week. Show me you are willing to take safe driving seriously and you can drive your car again. This is probation not a pardon. That's all I'm saying on the that smart mouth of yours doesn't earn you that 'pain in the ass' sooner rather than later!

A less 'obedient servant' I have never known.

Christian Grey

Tremendously twitchy palmed CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

His reply makes me smile.

The morning flies. At 11.45, Hannah announces, with a giggle, the arrival of Guillaume. He seems to have charmed the pants off Hannah already, and when I come out of my office to greet him, he is perched on her desk, giving her chapter and verse on the merits of increasing the metabolic rate by adding chillies to her carb free diet.

"Oh Mrs Grey, How wonderful to see you again" he says bouncing off his perch and speaking with that thick French accent. He kisses my hand and bends into an overly deep and dramatic bow. I giggle... he certainly is charming. "Please Guillaume, if we are going to get on, call me Ana."

He gathers his brightly coloured coolbox, his thermos and his brown leather clutch bag, which he tucks under his arm in that way I have only ever really seen European men do.

We chat about my likes and dislikes and he explains that little and often is the key to my gaining weight and that garnish is everything. He doesn't want me to feel overly full or like I am eating way too much, so he will provide small meals, with small amounts of high calorie extras, like full fat mayo, or cheese. He explains that once I am up to my healthy weight, we will simply work on maintaining a healthy routine.

_Over my dead body will this craziness continue past my reaching my target weight! _

For lunch today I have several choices. I decide to go with a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel with watercress, and a frozen banana yogurt afterwards. I also have to choose an afternoon snack. I settle for a small piece of carrot and walnut cake with frosting, which he puts in a high tech looking blue storage box on my desk. It has a little screen on the top, and he punches in some numbers. "What is that?" I ask. "It's an alarm box. It will remind you at 3pm to have your snack. If you don't take the snack it will continue to sound every 10 minutes until you do. After an hour it will page me and I will make a nuisance of myself. Clever eh?"

I narrow my eyes... _did my crazy husband have something to do with this?_

"Where did you get it? I have never seen anything like it!"

"I adapted it from a German design. It was designed for elderly patients who need regular medication. I find it so helpful, like a little spy. So Ana, I'll know if you don't remember your snack and I will have to snitch on you to Mr. Grey if you are the least bit naughty. I don't want to do that"

Jeez! "Okay, I got it. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Ana, I can't go until you have eaten your lunch!"

"Ooh no... no way, you cannot expect me to eat with you watching me!?"

"I'm sorry Ana, it's my job"

"We'll see about that. For now, I need you to leave. I am sure my husband will call you to discuss babysitting from here on. You don't need to worry, I'll eat what you've given me, but I'm sorry Guillaume, I WILL NOT be watched."

He leaves. I pick up the manuscript I have been working on and begin to reread chapter 3 as I eat my bagel. It doesn't take long. As soon as I hear 'Your Love is King' I turn my phone off and throw it into the bottom of my purse. At the same time I flick my office phone onto voicemail. Anticipating his next move, I leave my office and send Hannah off for her lunch. Her phone rings just as she picks up her purse. I tell her I'll get it and she goes. When her phone finally stops ringing I flick that onto voicemail.

Returning to my desk, I pick up my bagel and decide to send him a quick email.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Don't over react

D**ate:** October 17th 2011 12.36pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I'm eating my bagel as I type. I have banana frozen yogurt for dessert and carrot cake for later. I can't eat with a total stranger breathing down my neck. Please just let me eat in peace and we can discuss this tonight. I'll switch the phones back on once I've eaten.

Ana x

I have barely hit send when there is a knock on my door. It's Sawyer.

"Oh Sawyer..."

"It's Mr Grey on the line Ma'am..."

"I know, thanks Luke." He hands me his cell phone and I retreat into my office

"Hi Christian, I've just sent you an email"

"What the fuck are you doing Anastasia? Do I need to come down there and force feed you?"

"Of course not; calm down. I'm half way through my lunch and if you'd just leave me alone for 5 minutes I'll finish it."

"Why did you send Guillaume away? I'm paying him to make sure you eat!"

"And he is, but I don't need watching. You are going to have to trust that I'll eat what he provides."

He is silent. "You can trust me Christian."

"Can I?"

"Of course." I am speaking softly, calmly. I understand Christian's fear, and I need him to see reason. A fight will get us nowhere.

"Maybe I'll have to start weighing you... If I discover you have skipped so much as a dessert, I'll have you admitted to a clinic until you've gained weight faster than you can stand up. Do you understand?"

"Of course. Weigh me if it makes ypu happy. Christian, I will eat. I promise."

"Okay... Make sure you do... I'm worried Ana, you know that."

"I do, and I am touched. I understand. I'm going to put this right. Thank you for helping me, now just give me a little space to get myself better. You can't have someone watch me eat everyday."

"I can if I want"

"Well you could, but you won't will you? You won't because you know it won't work for me. I can't get better like that. Sure, have Guillaume fix me lunch, calculate the calories and remind me to eat, but I can't have him spy too. I can't"

"Alright. But there will be no more chances. I mean it. You eat what he gives you, no argument, no excuses."

"Agreed. Are you still mad?"

"A little. Are you going to switch your cell phone back on?"

"Yes. Are you going to tell Guillaume that he doesn't have to baby-sit me while I eat?"

"Yes. Did you phone the Doctor?" _Shit_

"Not yet. I'll do it now."

"No, finish your lunch now. Phone her straight after."

"You are SO BOSSY!"

"You bet I am. It's all part of my charm!"

Apart from Monday lunchtime's little disagreement, the days fly past without drama, much to my relief. We meet Dr. Knight on Wednesday evening at Escala. She is lovely and puts me at my ease straight away. Christian leaves us to talk. When he returns, we say our goodbyes. Dr Knight and I agree to correspond and most importantly, Christian is reassured that she is only a phone call away. Of course I have no real answers, but it makes some sense to me that, I'm taciturn sort of person - just like my dad - keeping a lot of what I feel and think private; controlling my food gives me an outlet for things I can't express. That is certainly how I feel at times. I feel crap about myself. Watching what I eat makes me feel great, in control, secure. I can't deny that it is good to talk it through with Caroline. She understands me. I could do with Christian talking to her a little more actually. Maybe it will stop him panicking about me all the time.

On Thursday, I get great news in the form of a phone call from Mark Robbins at The University of Washington. I got a place of the course, and if I want to, I can make up the first two weeks that I have already missed and start this semester now, matriculating, albeit a little late, at the end of next week! I can't help wonder if Christian has pulled strings, or if the prize of having his wife on the course is a factor in their enthusiasm for me, but that thought it not good for my appetite so I banish it. We celebrate with a bottle of our favourite champagne and a heavenly evening in the playroom. I believe my husband wants to assert himself, make sure I know who's boss, before I rejoin the student population. Tipsy, bound, legs akimbo, and blindfolded, we reach ambrosial height of ecstasy. Apart from restraints and a spreader bar, he uses no toys, only the tools nature gave him and the natural talent and skill he has acquired and nurtured.

I get along will with Guillaume. He is irritatingly theatrical at times, but he makes me laugh every day. The food he provides is delicious and skilfully designed. I don't feel as if I have overeaten, but I know it is packed with nutrition and calories. I find the feeling of filling my clothes better, difficult to handle at times. That is when I email Dr Knight. I've emailed her four times this week, once after eating a chicken Caesar salad for lunch, which was a little heavy on the Chicken Cesar and less so on the salad! The other three times were just after getting to work, sitting at my desk, feeling myself begin to fill my waistband again.

Saturday cannot come fast enough. I am dying to get back behind the wheel. We wake early and I'm showered, dressed and raring to go by 8.15. I sit up at the breakfast bar before Christian emerges from the bedroom and help myself to yogurt, granola and fruit, wolfing it down, more to satisfy my husband that I've eaten than anything else. Christian emerges looking dazzling in black jeans and a loose pale blue linen shirt. He fixes himself a coffee and sits. "Do you want some eggs?" I venture as I stack my now empty bowl in the dishwasher, trying to hurry him along. "Sure, an omelette would be great. You'd better fix one for yourself too."

"I've eaten." He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow in my direction. "I _HAVE_, I had yogurt, granola and fruit."

"Good Girl. Have an egg then and you're done..." He looks at me provocatively. I purse my lips and narrow my eyes, holding my nerve for a moment, before remembering that Christian holds all the cards today. I am not going to win and fighting him on this will only delay us. I button my lip, make his omelette and fix myself scrambled eggs. I know he is smiling to himself as he picks up the morning paper and turns to the business pages.

We take my car to the track, with is just south of the city. Taylor follows in the SUV. I can only imagine Christian wincing as I perfect my cornering, my emergency stops and my handbrake turns. We drive wet track too, and I learn techniques for driving at speed wet and dry. Christian insists on sitting with me after lunch when we try some pursuit training. He winces and holds on as I fly round the bends but, ever restrained does well not to scream out for me to _'slow the fuck down'_ as I am sure his instinct wants him to! We have a great day; I am in my element.

When we come to leave, we leave my car with the instructor and climb into the back of the SUV. Christian has arranged for him to take it away to install some new and improved safety and enhanced tracking features, including a camera at the front and rear. It is a good day.

Before I know it, is Monday again. Over breakfast I decide to try my luck with Christian. "When will my car come back?"

"Should be delivered Wednesday or Thursday. Why?"

"You said I could drive to work today. I've been looking forward to it. But I don't have a car."

He looks at me, sipping on his coffee, considering his next move.

"You can wait until Thursday can't you?"

"Of course I can... I'm just, you know... I'm disappointed." I say, shrugging and delicately placing another forkful of pancake into my mouth. I can see him out of the corner of my eye rummaging in his pants pocket as I take a sip of tea. He places a key on the counter in front of him and slides it toward me. It is an Audi key.

"What's this?" I ask

"Take my car." My eyes widen in surprise.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"No. Take the key before I change my mind. I have a meeting in San Francisco. Taylor has to drive me to Sea Tac anyway. You take my car."

"I have to go into college to sign some paperwork this afternoon. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"As long as Sawyer is following. And don't bend it...If you bend my car I'll bend your butt!"

"Would I?" I say with a hint of sarcasm

"I fucking hope not Anastasia!"


	32. Chapter 32 : Catch Me If You Can!

I pull out of the garage at Escala into the rainy Seattle morning; my mood does not reflect the dreary morning. Wearing a dark blue, above the knee length jersey dress that clings a little, sheer hold ups and flat pumps, which Christian insisted I wear to drive his car, in his car I feel a million dollars. Sawyer is right behind me in the SUV; I drive quickly which is my style, but I'm careful not to drive too fast and give him any cause to snitch on me to Christian.

The car makes me feel alive. I reach my office building all too soon. Knowing Christian will by now be boarding the GEH Jet I quickly email, wondering if it will arrive before he turns his Blackberry off.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Fabulous Husband

**Date:** October 24th 2011 8.56am

**To:** Christian Grey

Thank you for letting me take your car. It has made me very happy!

I love you

Your Ana x

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Adorable Wife

**Date:** October 24th 2011 9.56am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

We aim to please.

Drive carefully x

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

The morning flies past quickly. Guillaume arrives at 12.30 with a flask of creamy chicken soup and a seedy bread roll, with a banana cake for dessert. While he unloads his hamper of goodies and sets up my snack box with cookies for later, a message from my beloved drops into my inbox.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Hungry

**Date:** October 24th 2011 12.36pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

What are you having for lunch?

I am about to be forced to smile politely at a corporate lunch of mediocre food and less than mediocre company. I'd rather be picnicking in your office with you.

x

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Lunch

**Date:** October 24th 2011 12.39pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Chicken soup. Actually I was thinking of skipping lunch and taking your car out for another spin. What do you think?

Ana x

P.S. JOKE!

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Joke?

**Date:** October 24th 2011 12.42pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

**Joke:** _noun_; A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, esp. a story with a funny punchline.

I am neither amused nor laughing and did not detect a punchline ergo I fail to see the joke.

Christian Grey

Stony Faced CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Grouch

**Date:** October 24th 2011 12.47pm

**To:** Christian Grey

It made **_me_** laugh.

You seem to have lost your sense of humour.

Now leave me alone and go immerse yourself in a world of lunch and mediocrity while I try not to spill my soup down my front!

A x

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Grouch

**Date:** October 24th 2011 12.51pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

So I'm a grouch. Eat your lunch and get back to work!

;) Christian Grey

Grouchy CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I can't help but roll my eyes at his message. My Blackberry pings; text message...

*STOP rolling your eyes!*

I giggle. How does he always know?

At 2.15 I head down to meet Sawyer. We head off up the I5, across town to my new college where I need to sign some papers for matriculation. The campus isn't so far and feels welcoming. I meet up with my new tutor, Mark Robbins. He seems to genuinely like me. I am not sure why this surprises me, but it does. I guess I just assumed that the University accepted me and fast tracked me into this years programme because of Christian. Speaking to him, it certainly doesn't feel like that.

Mark gives me my timetable and reading list. Only two evenings of lectures per week this semester but plenty of reading. I can't deny being daunted. I am a literary scholar and am used to reading but have no natural instinct or interest for business, leadership or team building. I'm not sure I'm going to be suited to this. Maybe this wasn't such a brilliant idea after all.

My mind is now clouded with doubt. I walk with Sawyer back to the R8. Sawyer climbs into the SUV. I feel conspicuous. Christian's car does not blend in like Wanda did, and Luke, well he couldn't look more 'secret service' if he tried! I'm going to have to figure something out otherwise I'm never going to blend in here. Before that thought is even fully formed, I hit a speed bump on the way out of the parking lot and ground Christian's car. _FUCK! _I step out to inspect the damage. Sawyer gets out of the SUV to help me.

There isn't a lot of damage, and what there is, is pretty much out of sight, underneath. I'll have to explain to Christian and he's bound to be a little pissed, but it's not really my fault, and whatever it casts to fix, it's only money... we have plenty of that so I really don't see how he could justify blowing his stack over it.

Sawyer helps me extricate car from bump and we head off back downtown.

It's 5pm already; where did the day go? I switch my Blackberry on and place it in the hands free cradle. I have messages. As we join the I5 and start heading back towards the city I dial voicemail, and the instantly recognisable thick, French accent of Guillaume berates me.

"Ana, It's Guillaume. My little electronic friend has paged me to let me know zat you 'ave forgotten your snack. My whole weeks plan will be wrecked if you skip your snack. Call me, S'il vous plait " _Fuck, I forgot. At least he called me and not Christian. _

What did he say he's do if the spy box paged him? oh yes, '_make a nuisance_' of himself! There are more messages_...  
_

"Mon Dieu Ana, It's Guillaume. I am 'aving to make a nuisance of myself because you won't answer your telephone and I'm still being paged! Your snack Ana - you still did not eat it. I call Hannah now, zen if you don't call me I 'ave to call Mr. Grey."

Here we go... another message...

"Ana, It's Guillaume..." _Jeez... as if it could be anyone else with an accent like that _"... Hannah says you gone out. I'm sorry Ana but I have to call Mr Grey, or I will be in trouble. You are a very naughty girl to make me tell on you. I see you tomorrow. Do not be mad wiz me please."

_Shit_. Maybe Christian had his phone off, maybe he was on the flight back?

There are no more messages. We Drive back into town. I put my foot down a little, hoping to get home a little faster. Not fast enough to cause Sawyer to call Christian though!

I'm not going to go back into the office, I'll just go home, fix myself a snack and hope that whenever Christian gets his messages he doesn't blow his stack.

As we approach the Stewart Street exit I call Hannah

"Hannah, I'm not coming back this afternoon. Please feel free to go home whenever you're ready."

"Sure Ana. Um, Guillaume called me."

"Yeah I know."

"Sorry Ana, did I drop you in it?"

"Not at all, don't worry. Have a great evening."

My Blackberry pings. I have a new voicemail. _Jeez I'm popular this afternoon! _Hesitantly I dial.

"Ana, I've been trying to call you but your phone has been off and now you're busy. I just got home. I'm sure you know that Guillaume called. I trust you didn't skip your snack on purpose. You can't just forget baby, it's important. You can have something when you get in, but you can't let this happen again. Call me and tell me what time you'll get back." We are already nearing 4th Avenue and there doesn't seem any point calling as I'll see him in a couple of minutes. I think I got off easy considering who I'm married to.

As I approach the intersection where I take a right towards Escala, someone catches my eye, coming out of the Yoga Studio on the corner. Could it be? As I get closer and slow down with the traffic for the intersection, she clocks the car and stops in her tracks. She raises her hand as if to wave at the car I think; then she realises it is me driving and not my husband. Her shock of platinum blonde hair is unmistakable... Elena fucking Lincoln. She has a damn nerve... what the rats ass is she doing in MY neighbourhood? She is most defiantly NOT WELCOME!

I am transfixed. So transfixed in fact, that I fail to notice the car in front of me come to a halt. Suddenly there is an almighty crunch as the front of Christian's car connects unhappily with the back of the car ahead. I slam on my breaks, but the damage is done.

I squeeze my eyes tight shut, hoping to roll back the last few moments; hoping Elena hasn't seen me. When I venture a glance, I see her in my peripheral vision, laughing. She calls over loud enough for anyone close by to hear "Oh my, won't your husband be angry dear. I do hope he doesn't overreact. I've heard he has a filthy temper!" She crosses the road ahead, laughing all the way. I am furious with myself.

The guy in the car in front is none too happy either. He gets out of his car and approaches. I sit still in the R8, watching as he bends down to inspect the damage to his car. I can see from the tension in his body that he is mad.

He's a big guy, he must 6ft or 6ft 1, nearly as tall as Christian, but heavier set, pumped. I decide to get out and apologise. Maybe when he sees that I'm not some hot shot guy he'll calm down.

I step out of the car, and he turns to me. _Oh shit... he doesn't seem very calm... Nope, he's yelling. A lot! _

"Jesus Christ what the fuck did you do to my car? What the fuck kinda driving do you call that lady?" I hesitate to respond. I need to calm this man down a little. "Hey; I'm talking to you, look what you did to my frickin' car with your fancy shmansy , bling bling pimp-mobile. Did your sugar daddy buy it for you honey?"

"Hey Sir, I'm sorry okay, it was an accident, it was my fault. There is no need to be so rude."

"_There's no need to be so rude!_" he repeats, imitating me in a childish, whiney tone, "You drove into the back of my car you stupid little girl. Are you even old enough to drive? Some of us have to work for a living you stupid, fucking, female." Just as he is getting into full swing Sawyer steps between us.

"Step back Sir. The Lady has accepted liability and you will be fully compensated, now please calm down."

"Who's this prick; your daddy or your pimp?" The guy asks me still threatening, a little too close for comfort and way too aggressive for Sawyer not to intervene. "Step back Sir or I will have to intercede."

"Yeah? You and whose fuckin' Army?" he says stepping towards Sawyer, if anything more aggressively than before.

Over his shoulder I see Taylor hightailing it round the corner. Sawyer must have called him. Where is Christian? He wouldn't have stayed in the apartment! Suddenly I see him, he streaks down the sidewalk. _Jeez, he looks hot!_ I am momentarily distracted from the drama unfolding before me by my husband's handsome good looks and powerful elegance of movement. He is dressed in a midnight blue Armani suit and crisp white shirt open at the collar; his tie discarded when he got home I expect.

He runs towards me furiously, like a man possessed. Before I can even say anything Christian is standing in front of Mr Angry, a little too close. He is fractionally taller than this stranger, but the other guy is much bulkier.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to? That is my wife" he almost spits in the guys face. The next thing I know, Christian squares up, pulling his right arm back, fist clenched and I think he's going to punch this asshole square in the jaw! Taylor is there in a moment, standing between Christian and the man, Sawyer tentatively pulling Christian back. He does not resist, but shrugs his shoulders to regain his composure. He talks to the guy he was about to punch with cold distain "Mr Taylor here will sort this out with you." He says, turning his back on him. He steps toward me, takes my hand. "Are you okay baby?"

"I'm fine".

"Your purse in the car?"

"Yes"

"Taylor, Mrs Grey's Drivers License and registration are in her purse. Sort this situation and this asshole out. I'm getting Mrs Grey out of here."

"Grey? As in Christian Grey?" the numbskull shouts at Christian, his face suddenly brighter; I can practically see the dollar signs appear in his eyes as he realises the wife of one of the richest men in America has just rear ended him. _Oh crapola! Fucking Elena, why did I have to look? Why did I have to be driving Christian's car? Is this going to end up in the papers? That will **really **put the icing on the cake. _

Christian leads me back to Escala. He can't be too mad can he? It's not like we can't afford to fix his car or pay the guy off. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't drive too fast or get myself hurt or anything. It was just a little shunt; the kind of thing that happens all the time. But then this is Christian and his precious car we're talking about. Yup, he's going to make me suffer. Well we'll see about that. He can think again if he thinks he's going to lecture me... or spank me!

He pulls me into the elevator and smiles down at me.

"You're not mad?" I ask, confused by his smile.

"What gave you that idea Anastasia?"

"You're grinning at me"

"You just smashed seven shades of shit out my hundred and eighty thousand dollar car Ana. Why would you think I wasn't mad?"

"Because you look more like the cat that got the cream than my husband when he's pissed at me." The door to the elevators open and he strides into the foyer of our apartment pulling me behind him.

"Oh I'm pissed alright. I just feel more like the cat that caught the mouse than the one that got the cream. I love that car." His eyes are sparkling. This is hot! His smile is dangerous. _The cat that caught the mouse huh!_ I have an idea. My stomach is doing back flips and I have mischief on my mind!

"One hundred and eighty thousand dollars? Is that what it cost? Really?"

"You'd better believe it... top of the range Audi R8 Spyder."

"That's a lot of money. I imagine then that you would like spank me..." I feel my cheeks flush and bite down on my bottom lip deliberately, knowing the reaction it arouses in him.

"Oh I fully intend to spank you Ana. You just gave me a fantastic excuse."

"I see. You think you are going to spank me for a tiny little lapse in concentration?" I look up at him through my lashes. "I know I am..." he says as his eyes narrow and he cocks his head a fraction; the curious smile that curls the corners of his closed mouth, daring me to challenge him.

I am not going to wait around here for him to have it all on his terms... before he can anticipate my next move, I bolt. I run into the great room and straight over to the piano. Christian follows, not running. I turn to face him standing with the piano between us.

"What are you up to Mrs Grey?" he asks seductively. Christian is relaxed. I am like a coiled spring, ready to bolt again as soon as he lunges for me; and I know he will!

"You think you're going to spank me; well I don't think I deserve to be spanked so if you wanna spank me, you are going to have to catch me!"

I watch him, biting my lip in anticipation. He steps back, removes his jacket, throwing it on one of the couches, and begins to roll up the sleeves of his shirt, trying to maintain the façade that he is unfazed by my challenge. He can't fool me though. Despite his cool exterior, I know this game is already sending shockwaves of arousal coursing through his body. He is playing with me. Ramping up the tension.

Slowly he steps towards the piano. Like a magnet with opposing pole, as he moves left, I move right. I can practically smell the adrenaline rising in him, the testosterone. After a couple of minutes, perhaps more, he makes his move and lunges across the piano for me, his long fingers just skimming the back of my dress as I dart just in time to the left, towards the window.

Before he has a chance to turn I am behind him, one of the couches between us. I back up slowly toward the dining room as he turns to face me. He won't let this go on long without making move. Suddenly he pounces, sprinting towards the couch then up onto it and in one graceful leap, over the back. By now I am at the far end of the long table which serves as my only protection.

"Are you sure you don't want to surrender now baby? The longer this goes on, when I catch you, the worse it will be!"

"Perfectly sure" I answer. Now I am smiling from ear to ear. I'm aflame, everything below my waist clenching with sheer anticipation. I can't wait for him to catch me, but I'm not going to make it easy.

We dance that now familiar dance around the table. He moves right, I mirror him to the left. Eventually as he moves slowly to his right, moving between the table and the great window, along its length, I hold still. As soon as he reaches the middle of the table, I dart off to my right, across the great room and towards the corridor that leads to our bedroom. I don't look back. I am giggling out loud now, charged with delight and excitement. As I reach the bedroom I hear him close on my heels. I run into the room slamming the door behind me and leaning up against it. I focus all my strength on holding the door handle, trying to prevent him turning it.

"Open up Ana. You know you're going to lose, just make it easy on yourself and open the door. If you hurt yourself I'm only going to be angrier!" I say nothing and concentrate on holding the door handle still. _Here we go!_ I can feel the force of his strength pushing the handle down on the other side. _I. Can't. Hold. Out. Much. Longer! _ Suddenly, there is a click as the door is released. I push against it with my whole body but I am no match for Christian and I slide against the carpet as he pushes the door open against my resistance. I bolt again, this time for out bathroom, and Christian practically falls into the bedroom as the door swings free. He is only off balance for a moment, before he springs up and after me.

I do not reach the bathroom. He lunges and hooks me around my waist, pulling me backwards towards him. I am doubled up over his arm, laughing, but I am not letting him win that easily, I kick, and wriggle and try to prize myself from his grip.

"Give it up Ana, now I've caught you there is no way I'm letting you go!"

I am breathless with laughter and exhaustion. "You might have caught me but I'm not surrendering!" I manage to blurt out.

He picks me up under his arm like a rug, with my head facing backwards and my butt facing the direction we are going. I continue to wriggle and kick. His response to my protests a resounding slap on my ass. He sits on the bed, and tries to manhandle me across his knee, but as soon as he is sitting and my feet can touch the floor, I push up against it in attempt to wriggle free. "Oh no you don't!" He says as I pull myself across the bed. I twist, turning my back to the bed, thus taking my butt out of the line of fire. Christian grips and pulls my legs to wrestle me back, but I am up for a fight. I bend my knees and dig my heels in, pushing hard against the thigh I have just escaped, pushing myself further up the bed.

"Are you fighting me Anastasia?" He is amused. My coy smile is impossible to hide.

"Yes" I whisper. His eyes flash with excitement. Releasing my ankle, he stands, turning to face the bed, assessing me, as I scoot up the mattress, and away from him propped up on my elbows, sitting on my ass.

Quick as a cobra, he lunges down, firmly grabbing both my ankles from underneath and pulling them hard towards him, yanking me off my elbows. My jersey dress rides up a little and bunches at my waist. Suddenly I am flat on my back. I kick my legs as hard as I can, but he only grips tighter. I try to prop myself up on my elbows again, but he anticipates my intention and suddenly raises my ankles up to the height of his shoulders. I screech and flail about. He pulls my ankles together, gripping tightly in his left wrist, and faster than lightening swats my now unprotected, panty clad ass with his right, once, twice. He goes to swat me a third time, but I squeal and twist and manage to free my right leg. Placing my foot on his chest I push as hard as I can, knocking him off balance.

"Playing dirty are we?" he says, straightening up and admiring the view, of me, dishevelled, half on, half off the bed, skirt up round my middle, just panties and hold-ups from the waist down. I cannot fail to notice the growing erection in his pants.

He turns away and I feel my heart sink a little, is he not playing anymore? He disappears into the closet and I am confused. I gather my thoughts a moment, lying where he left me, propped up on my elbows on the bed, legs dangling over the edge. In a moment, he is back, only now he is naked. In his right hand he is holding something. He walks towards me and nonchalantly flings what he is holding onto the bed. It lands to my left; glancing over I see a long, looped, white, silk rope lying beside me. In the fraction of a second that I am distracted by the rope, Christian spots his opportunity, and pounces at me, forcing my knees apart pinning me down to the bed with his body. I squirm beneath him, flex my wrists, under his steely grip, and try to buck him off, to no avail. He reaches for the rope with his right hand, freeing my left. I waste no time grabbing a handful of hair at the back of his head and pull hard.

"Aghhh! That hurt! First you disobey me and miss your afternoon snack, then you crash my car, and now, after running away from your well deserved spanking, you try and yank my hair out of my head? You are skating on very thin ice Mrs Grey."

I giggle, and resume my resistance, hitting him as hard as I can with my free arm, fist clenched, against his chest. He catches my hand and dexterously winds the rope around it, binding it above my head to my other wrist. I am somewhat subdued by the restraints, he stands walks behind the bed and reaches over for my bound wrists, yanking me backwards and tethering them to the headboard. Walking back around he moves towards me, but I kick out as hard as I can. I am not going to maker this easy for him.

"Tut tut," he says shaking his head and wagging his finger at me, and he chooses his moment, capturing first one foot, then the other. He pulls them wide and places himself between my thighs. He presses himself against me; his body flexing against me and pinning me in place. His hand reaches down towards the thin layer of powder blue silk and lace that is the only barrier between us. His fingers press, then hook the delicate lace. Finally I feel that familiar tear, as once again, forces his way through my panties.

I am fighting no more. As I feel his erection against my entry, parting my lips with the tip, I pull against my restraints, and wrap my legs around him. Instantly he is inside, filling me. His mouth finds mine and his tongue, mirroring his erection, violently yet skilfully explores. He thrusts, hard, and his torso rises above me, as he nears his climax. It is too late for me. I spiral upwards and over, my orgasm flowing like a torrent, crashing and tumbling hundreds of feet over a waterfall. I feel Christian spilling into me.

He gently unties me. My dress is still bunched around my waist!

"Come on baby, lets take a bath." He invites

"Now you're talking." I stand and pull my dress over my head. As I remove my bra, and what remains of my panties, I look up as him...

"So, I guess I won that fight" I venture as I roll my hold-ups down my legs.

"How do you figure that?" He asks, eyes narrowed and head cocked in that irresistible way that is his signature

"You didn't get to spank me!" He saunters across the room to me, standing tall and close as I discard my hold ups and stand straighten up. I look up at him towering a foot above me, smiling and twinkling and biting softly down on my bottom lip. He raises his hand to my chin; releases my lip with his thumb, bends down and places the softest kiss on my lips.

"Maybe I decided you didn't deserve a spanking after all... or maybe I'm just taking a rain-check!"


	33. Chapter 33 - Inbox

I wrap my hair in a towel, turban style and feel mild irritation as Christian hurries me, calling out from the great Room.

"Ana, what are you _doing_ in there?... get your ass out here!"

"I've told you I'm coming!" I say, emerging from our bedroom, wearing jeans, a t shirt and my wet hair piled up in my towel on top of my head.

"What's so urgent Christian... jeez, talk about mood swings!"

"You didn't dry your hair? Christ Ana, you'll end up with pneumonia."

"STOP FUSSING!"

"Just sit down. You've got eat"_ Ahh, it all becomes clear... I didn't have my snack and it's made him crazy!_

Mrs Jones serves up pasta in a tomato sauce with clams and lemon zest.

"You need to have a little garlic bread too baby, make up a few calories form earlier."

"Are you trying to torture me?"

"No baby. Look at your jeans. They're still baggy. You need to put on another ten pounds before I feel comfortable. Eat."

We eat. The food is of course delicious, but I feel bloated and fat afterwards. Christian insists I have some yogurt for dessert. Can I fight him on this? No. He is not only determined, I know he has right on his side, and that he is not just guessing what I need to eat, he is I am sure following, no doubt very expensive, advice. I eat the yogurt.

"Well now I feel like a stuffed pig" I pout. He stands behind me, puts his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.

"Stop pouting! I know sometimes it's hard, and I don't mind you being mad at me. I love you."

My Blackberry rings, interrupting my sulk. It's in my purse over on the console table; Sawyer must have brought it up from the car I guess. I go and pick it up. It's Kate.

"Wow Ana, Are you okay? Are the police there?"

"I'm fine. Why would the police be here?"

"You and Christian left the scene of an accident! I just saw it on the wed.. Christian punching that guys lights out... It's all over the Seattle Nooze!"

"Shit. I gotta go. And Kate, FYI Christian didn't punch anyone, don't believe everything you read!"

Christian is looking over, watching me intently.

"Don't tell me, it's all over the internet?" I nod. "We'd better take a look"

He fetches his Macbook, and we sit on one of the couches in the great room, he tap tap taps at the keyboard.

"What a crock of shit!" He says before tossing me the laptop. There is a picture of Christian, standing tall, looking furious, fist raised as if to punch the asshole who looks much shorter and wider than Christian in the shot. I didn't remember there being such a pronounced difference in their stature, maybe it's just the angle. I can be seen standing behind him, with Taylor and Sawyer about to step in. The headline shouts "Billionaire Grey sees RED" with a bitchy article to follow accusing Christian of rear ending a 'hard working regular Joe', _that must be the asshole. _It describes him as - builder Mr Gary Wright, who has worked for every penny he earns; as _if Christian didn't!_ 'Billionaire Grey in who dented his $200,000 Euro-trash sports car didn't just rear end Mr Wright's car which he relies on for work, but seriously impacted on his livelihood, then to add injury to insult appears to assault Mr Wright before leaving the scene of the accident. Mr Wright, who is suffering from whiplash injuries, is unlikely to be able to return to work for some time.' There is barely a mention of me at all, until the end, when it suggests that "there have been whispers from eyewitnesses that perhaps Grey may not even have been driving, and that he has agreed taken the wrap to protect his increasingly waif like new wife, Anastasia Grey, who it is speculated is seeking treatment from chronic Bulimia Nervosa and alcohol addiction." There are several other pictures, one of the crumpled front of the R8, one of Christian leading me away from the scene through a crowd of bystanders. Funny_, I don't remember so many people gawping! _There is another this time of Taylor, holding my purse, which to my mind just looks comical, negotiating with this Gary guy, while the crowd of people standing on the sidewalk watch with their iphones in front of their faces, taking pictures I guess. I can't help notice one bystander in particular, smile on her face, iphone in her hand.

By the time I've taken it all in, Christian is already on his Blackberry, talking to either his lawyers or his PR people I'm not certain.

I clear up the dishes, then curl up on the couch with a half finished manuscript.

He finally gets off the phone. He seems pretty cheerful considering. "Why are you so chirpy"

"Seattle Nooze just tied the noose around their own necks. I'm suing them off the planet."

"Will I be in trouble for leaving the scene?"

"Of course not! It's a civil matter. Nobody was injured, no crime was committed. As long as you exchange details and admit liability, then settle, the police don't get involved. We did everything we needed to. If I hadn't turned up when I did it seems to me Mr Wright might be dealing with an assault charge himself right now."

"But it said he had whiplash?"

"Bullshit. There is enough footage out there of him laying into you to put paid to any whiplash claims; just look on You Tube. He should be thanking us baby, believe me. He has been given a very generous settlement considering the way he spoke to my wife. He'd do well to shut up now, or he'll be paying it straight to his lawyers."

"Oh. So everything is okay now or is this going to be all over the front page tomorrow?"

"It'll be okay, but I'm going to have to do a little more damage limitation right now. Can you find something to do without me for an hour baby?"

"Sure"

Sawyer and Taylor appear as if magically summoned. They all disappear into Christian's study.

"Oh Mrs Grey, you've cleared everything up already, I was just coming to do that."

"It was no bother."

"Well thank you. Can I get you anything else?"

"A cup of tea would be good?"

I pick up the Macbook again, and tap in 'Christian Grey Car Crash', just to see if anything else comes up. Just the Seattle Nooze scoop comes up, nothing else yet. I decide to check my emails. Christian's mailbox pops up... of course, this is his Macbook. I skim read the subjects in his inbox. _Curiosity killed the cat Steele _my subconscious tuts in warning.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Kate & Ana

**Date:** October 13th 2011 12.56pm

**To:** Elliot Grey

Elliot,

I know you think I'm being over zealous but when you see Ana you will understand. She is tiny and I'm worried.

Under no circumstances let Kate persuade her to go to a bar. Those two are impossible when they go out and Ana will make herself seriously ill if she drinks too much. And for God's sake make sure you see her eat something.

I appreciate it.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From: **Elliot Grey

**Subject: **Kate and Ana

**Date:** October 13th 2011 2.

**To:** Christian Grey

Christian, get real.

I can't stop Kate if she wants to go out! And I can't force Ana to eat. Jeez Christian, I'll hang round Kate's apartment while they are there if it'll make you happy, I'll even have a quiet word with her about staying home with Ana and maybe getting a takeaway or something, but I can't exactly 'forbid' her to go out! It's 2011 man and she's a grown woman in case you hadn't noticed. She's got bigger balls than most guys I know. I certainly not gonna come over all masterful, or she'll have my balls for breakfast!

Elliot Grey

Grey Construction Inc.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Kate & Ana

**Date:** October 13th 2011 2.22pm

**To:** Elliot Grey

For Fuck's sake Elliot, just fucking do it!

Don't you think as you are marrying the girl it's about time you found your goddamn voice! If Kate were mine - God forbid - she wouldn't be sitting comfortably for a while if she spoke to me the way she speaks to you, that's for sure!

As for Ana, when you see her you will understand. Ana has no regard for her own welfare and will go along with anything Kate suggests just to keep her happy.

Please Elliot, I am begging you; stay with them, don't let Kate take her out, and see that she eats.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From: **Elliot Grey

**Subject: **Kate and Ana

**Date:** October 13th 2011 2.

**To:** Christian Grey

Okay bro, I can't promise she'll listen but I'll talk to Kate and I'll do my best.

Elliot Grey

Grey Construction Inc

P.S. if you are suggesting I spank Kate's ass, I must say considering I always thought you were gay, you have hidden depths! Actually, I'm quite tempted by spanking my baby's tushie. She has a great ass, a smart mouth and it sounds frikin' hot!

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Hidden Depths

**Date:** October 13th 2011 2.44pm

**To:** Elliot Grey

You have no idea.

Thank you Elliot. Ana needs looking after and not being with her... well I am dying here.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Oh gee, I guess he was really worried. And Elliot spanking Kate? _That _I would have to see!

I scroll down, and see a email to Caroline Knight, my doctor. After glancing up to check I'm still alone, I click on it.

**From:** Dr. Caroline Knight

**Subject:** Mrs Grey

**Date:** October 12th 2011 8.14am

**To:** Christian Grey

Dear Mr Grey,

It was a pleasure talking with you on Monday. I completely understand your concerns. To watch someone you love hurting them self in this way is tough.

It turns out I can come to Seattle next week. I will be happy to do as you suggest and infer I am in town anyway if you feel it will make Mrs Grey more comfortable. I will advise when arrangements have been made. I can only suggest in the meantime, you keep a close eye on your wife, that you encourage her and do not take her word for it if she tells you she is eating. Unfortunately secrecy and dishonesty are unpalatable side effects that go hand in hand with eating disorders.

If you can stick to the diet plans we have discussed we should make some progress. Volume of food will cause her too much stress, but hidden calories in accompaniments, condiments, toppings, sauces etc. can be very helpful in weight gain.

Please do not he afraid to be firm with your wife, even if it feels difficult. At the clinic I am afraid we have to be very strict with our patients. I understand that this does not always come easily between husband and wife, but you will need to be very firm if you are to succeed in helping Mrs Grey gain the weight she has lost.

Finally, prepare yourself for the long haul. Everyone is different but as a general it is fair to say that an eating disorder is not something that is cured, more something one learns to live with, learns to manage.

Keep in touch Mr. Grey. With your support and love she has every chance of making a good recovery.

Kind Regards

Dr. Caroline Knight

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Mrs Grey

**Date:** October 12th 2011 8.45am

**To:** Dr. Caroline Knight

Dr. Knight,

Thank you for your help in this matter. Your kind words are appreciated.

I apologise in advance if I am repeating myself.

I need to know that you understand I am fully committed to helping my wife.

Trust me, I am the man for the job.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Well, I knew he was worried, but to read his own words, well it kinda presses it home.

I scroll down further, until I come across an email to Flynn. Dare I? I know this is not right, snooping on Cgristians conversation with flynn, but the tsubject... 'Ana , I just can't stop myself.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Ana

**Date:** October 12th 2011 3.45am

**To:** Dr. John Flynn

John,

Thank you for seeing Ana. Since then the situation doesn't seem to have improved. I am going out of my mind. Gail Jones called and I'm afraid she simply doesn't have the will to get over this by herself. She tried to skip breakfast again.

I can't just sit by and watch her starve herself. Ana seems to have no concept of the seriousness of this situation. I need to move this on. What can we do next. I don't care if I have to tie her down and spoon feed her John, we have to get control of this and soon.

Your thoughts in this matter would be appreciated

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From: **John Flynn

**Subject: **Ana

**Date:** October 12th 2011 6.45am

**To: **Christian Grey

Christian,

Do you ever sleep?

My overriding thought if that perhaps you need to relax a little. Your overwhelming control issues may only exacerbate Anastasia's urges to get some control herself. I will give the matter some more thought and get back to you when I get into the office later this morning.

Dr. John Flynn

M.D., Psy.D, Ph.D, F.R. ,

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Ana

**Date:** October 12th 2011 7.12am

**To:** Dr. John Flynn

I cannot sleep, and I will not relax until I am back at my wife's side where I can look after her, and she is recovered.

She is everything John. I was nothing before Ana.

No, I will not relinquish any more control. Anastasia has no care for her own health, no regard for her safety. I love her. I have made it my job to see she is always happy, healthy and safe. I will never compromise on that. She will not continue to damage herself. Over my dead body.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From: **John Flynn

**Subject: **Ana

**Date:** October 12th 2011 7.31am

**To: **Christian Grey

The best thing you can do for her is love her and be strong. An eating disorder is not generally something that can be 'cured'. It is something that a person learns to manage and to live with. There will always be triggers and if you are strong for Ana, if you continue to love her with all your heart, you will be the strength she needs to live a healthy life and cope better and more consistently with food.

Don't panic about Ana. She is smart and she is strong. You need to come and see me when you are back Christian

Dr. John Flynn

M.D., Psy.D, Ph.D, F.R. ,

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Ana

**Date:** October 12th 2011 7.52am

**To:** Dr. John Flynn

I will be everything Anastasia needs me to be. Always.

Thank you John

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

"What are you doing?"

_Christian! _He is standing in the doorway watching. _How long has he been there?_

"Nothing..."

"Are you crying?" _I don't know... Am I crying_? I instinctively put my hand up to my face. My cheeks are damp with silent tears that have escaped without me even realising. He crosses the space between us, concern etched on his face. I quickly click to shut down his mailbox.

"What were you looking at baby?" he asks as he sits beside me and gently pulls me into his arms.

"Nothing. It's stupid. I didn't even know I was crying!"

"Tell me what you were looking at"

"Did I tell you why I got distracted and crashed your car Christian?" I say, deliberately trying to distract him. "... It was Elena."

"What was Elena? What are you talking about?"

"She was coming out of the Yoga Studio on the corner. I couldn't take my eyes off her, and before I knew it, I'd hit the car in front."

"Did Elena say anything?"

Oh yeah, she thought it was great. She yelled something about you being pissed with me, then stood on the sidewalk. She probably took those pictures on the nooze for all I know!"

"Ana, everyone was taking pictures. Why do you think I got you out of there in such a hurry. I'll speak to Elena." I can see he is mad, but he won't she it.

"No, don't talk to her. I don't want you to give her the satisfaction. Please."

He does not reply. He stands, turns to me and smiles, holding out his hand.

"I've had enough excitement for one day. I'm taking you to bed Mrs Grey. Come."

I follow him into the bedroom.

I can't sleep. I am glad I snooped. To read Christian's private thoughts and feelings about me, about my eating, has had an effect on me. This is not about me anymore. Eating has always been one thing that gives me a little control in my life, and makes me feel like I can do something. But I see how it is hurting Christian. I'm not on my own any more, Christian is part of me and I am part of him. Before this moment, I have not really WANTED to be better. Could this be my epiphany?

"Ana? You're awake? What's wrong?" _Actually, nothing is wrong... I feel like I can do this; I just want to be normal again, healthy. I CAN do this, for both of us. _

"Tell me Ana?"

"I was just wondering why you aren't more pissed that I bent your car out of shape? You love that car."

"Yeah, I did, but it's only a car. Besides, I've got my eye on new car. You gave me the perfect excuse. It's a little more up market that the R8."

"What? Is it more expensive?"

"Oh yes, a lot more expensive."

"More than $200,000?" He nods his response. "Jeez, you are so over the top..." I tease, rolling my eyes, "I don't know why you don't just get yourself a gorgeous little classic VW Beatle like Wanda!"

"Because My darling wife can smash to pieces a state of the art example of modern German engineering, driving less than 10 miles an hour, 500 yards from home. I hate to think what kind of damage she could do with a forty year old ton if nuts and bolts that is barely even road worthy! Besides, Wanda was ugly."

"How can you say that?... she was many things, but you could never accuse that car of being ugly!"

Christian leans over and kisses me. "Sleep." He pulls me to him, and I curl up against him. As he strokes my hair, I feel myself drift off in the arms of the man I love.


	34. Chapter 34 - Gesundheit

I wake early; I guess we went to bed early so it's hardly a surprise. Christian is wrapped around me and I am too hot. The sun isn't up and I can hear rain pounding down onto the windows. I reach for the clock…06.06. I badly need to pee. I get up, trying not to wake Christian who stirs in the bed beside me but rolls over, still asleep.

I pee, brush my teeth and switch the shower on. Slipping the delicate straps of my night gown from my shoulders, I step out of it leaving it in a puddle on the marble floor behind me. I step into the roaring jet of steaming hot water, lifting my face to meet the torrent and wash away sleep.

I stand still, absorbing the refreshing power of the water on my face. Leaning back a fraction, I run my hands over my wet hair, snatching a breath. The fast jets of water pound my neck and breasts, massaging, rejuvenating me.

I am in no hurry, alone and able for once just to drink in the simple pleasure of that first shower of the day; to feel the rivulets of water form and trickle down my back, bottom and thighs.

My mind clears and I think of nothing except the hot water pounding my naked flesh.

My eye shoot open, as I feel a large, firm hand against my stomach pressing me back into a rock solid body; his body. My bottom against his thighs, his impressive erection presses into my back. No words pass between us. All I can hear is water hammering against marble, glass and flesh and my own blood coursing fast now through my sensitized body. His right hand reaches around me and takes my breast. Dexterously he manipulates it, kneading flesh, teasing nipple. His left hand moves south from my belly to my opening. He parts the lips of my sex with his long fingers. I feel a stream of water find and flow through this new valley he has made of my vulva. He leans down, pulling my ear lobe into his mouth, and gently biting down. I extend my neck in response, and feel two fingers enter me, exploring, massaging.

Without warning, he withdraws his long fingers and spins me round. His lips are hungry for me. He grasps the back of my head and pulls my mouth to his, devouring me with the appetite of a starving man. I kiss back, frantic and aroused as water cascades over us.

Christian descends; trailing a frantic trail of ravenous kisses in his wake, my neck, by breasts, my belly, then at last, my sex. My legs buckle with anticipation and my back hits the cold marble wall of the shower. Christian, kneeling before me, takes my weight at my hips. One at a time, he moves each of his hands, behind each of my thighs and the back of my knees, pulling each leg in turn around his wide shoulders, so I am supported, my lower legs hanging down his back, my knees each side of his head, leaning backwards against the marble wall. I balance there on his shoulders and his tongue disappears, exploring my most intimate place, parting my lower lips once again; gently probing, around and around. His lips envelope me as his tongue penetrates deep. He catches my hands as they flail, trying to find some purpose. Shock waves of delight pulse trough me. He grips my wrists firmly pinning then to the wet wall behind my naked bottom. His tongue continues it's glorious assault. My legs cross behind his back and my fists clench where they are pinned behind me; my bottom rising fractionally as my reflexes tense every muscle. A cathartic cry escapes me from deep within as I can hold on no longer and I spiral over into glorious, pulsating orgasm. "AAAAArrrrrgghhhhh!"

He does not stop right away. His tongue withdraws, but plays a while at my opening, around and around my over-sensitized clitoris. Aftershocks, almost impossible to bear, shoot through me again and again and again like electric shocks, making me buck with each delicious jolt.

His hands release mine as, still perched on his shoulders, my body flops. I let the cold wet marble wall absorb my weight, my knees hooks around my husbands shoulders, my legs no longer tense, my back slides down the wall a way. Christian's grips me around my waist just above my hips and lifts me a little higher. I separate my legs, so they slide down to his waist as he rises, lifting me with him, sliding me up the wall.

He holds me over the tip of his majestic erection for a few moments, before lowering me onto his staff, plunging himself deep into me. I tense again, my legs tightening in a python like grip around him; tilting my hips, as if to hungrily devour every fraction of every inch of him. I feel him deep inside as the tip of him pounds with an exquisite ache against the very deepest part of me. The ache is familiar as it intensifies. His pubic bone caresses my hyper sensitive, and now wide awake wide awake clitoris with each thrust. The water beats down fast and hot on his back as the power of his heavenly incursion pins me fast to the marble. His right hand suddenly slams against the wall above my head, his arm a brace, as though without it, he would crush me with the force of his passion. As I feel my orgasm rising once again, my left hand grips his hair for dear life, as my right slams outstretched against the marble wall. I feel Christian still as his orgasm floods into me.

I am limp. Christian flops over, pinning me tighter to the wall, his arm resting on the wall above me, cocooning me, the wall supporting him. After catching his breath, he beams down at me with his most dazzling smile, which I glimpse as I glance up at him through my eyelashes, breathing heavily to catch my breath. He leans back a fraction, giving me a little more air. Moving his supporting arm from the marble wall, he places his hand under my chin, raising it up to face him. His beaming smile sends brilliant sparkles into his soft grey eyes. He kisses me.

"You're awake…" I say softly, echoing his words from last night.

"You noticed" his voice soft, amused, sexy

"It was hard not to… It was an unexpected, but welcome start to my day"

"We aim to please Mrs Grey."

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Morning Exercise

**Date:** October 25th 2011 8.48am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I don't think I've ever seen you eat so much breakfast. An early morning work out agrees with you.

Christian Grey

Still Smiling CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Morning Glory

**Date:** October 25th 2011 10.14am

**To:** Christian Grey

Why Mr Grey, I worked up quite an appetite.

With the impressive exercise equipment you presented me with, I couldn't help but put my back into it. Besides I have a very experienced, not to mention flirtatious coach!

Water sports make me hungry.

Question: Was that making love or was it f***ing hard? I thought a little of both.

Ana x ;)

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Inappropriate Questions

**Date:** October 25th 2011 10.17am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Behave. Or does your bosses boss have to implement formal disciplinary proceedings to remind you what is and what is not appropriate content for emails from an editor of SIP?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Discipline

**Date:** October 25th 2011 11.25am

**To:** Christian Grey

Is my bosses boss indelicately harpooned a prospective CEO of one of his companies in the shower this morning. Is he going to be hauled in front of a tribunal?

Someone once told me that sort of behaviour is called 'Gross Moral Turpitude', or does discipline only work one way?

Ana x

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Special case

**Date:** October 25th 2011 11.29am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

You, Mrs Grey are a very special case, and an exception to all the usual rules.  
I believe I took a shower with my wife this morning. I do not see how that relates to your conduct regarding the inappropriate content in emails this morning.

Discipline is therefore a one way street - top down.

I will demonstrate at home later.

That is unless you continue with your filthy email innuendos, in which case, I may come over to SIP this morning and initiate a disciplinary right away

Christian Grey

CEO and Discipline Manager, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

P.S. 'Harpooned'? Really?

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Moby Dick

**Date:** October 26th 2011 11.35am

**To:** Christian Grey

… is a very good book.

(In light of harpooning reference I do not want you to jump to conclusions re: the subject of this email which is entirely innocent and refers only to the book I am reading on my ipad. I have never read it until now.)

You can't visit me this afternoon… I am going to the new Annual Writer & Book Award planning meeting at the Four Seasons in an hour and Guillaume will be here is 10 minutes, so I think I am safe for now.

Can you pick me up at 5.30 at the hotel?

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Safe?

**Date:** October 25th 2011 11.42am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I'll be there at 5.30.

Make sure you eat your lunch. No nonsense about having a large breakfast. I will know.

We can discuss flagrant email innuendos, inappropriate language and all disciplinary matters tonight. I will look forward to it.

x

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Behaving

**Date:** October 25th 2011 12.02pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Sir

I am eating a tuna and mayonnaise sub. I have a full fat double cherry yogurt for desert AND a chocolate brownie.

I am tingling at the thought of tonight

Laters

Ana x

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Are you sitting comfortably?

**Date:** October 26th 2011 9.08am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

You were stupendous last night.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Smarting

**Date:** October 26th 2011 9.14am

**To:** Christian Grey

Why thank you Sir. My (only very slight) discomfort this morning a delightful reminder of you and of last night.

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Your Car

**Date:** October 26th 2011 12.17am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Your car is ready for you. I will pick you up in it if you like.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Yes Please

**Date:** October 26th 2011 12.25am

**To:** Christian Grey

Can I take the wheel… please?

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** for you…

**Date:** October 26th 2011 12.29am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

…Anything. We can drive up to the health club for dinner

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Dinner

**Date:** October 27th 2011 10.35am

**To:** Christian Grey

It is so good to have my car back.

Thank you for dinner. I hope I didn't spoil it, it just made me so mad to see Mrs Robinson again! Thank you for not saying anything to her. I would hate to give her the satisfaction or the attention. I couldn't believe she was there! Do you think she is stalking us? That's twice we've seen her in a week.

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Mrs Lincoln

**Date:** October 27th 2011 10.42am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

No I don't think she is stalking us. She has been a member of the health club for some time.

I loved having dinner with you Mrs Grey. You are eating well and I'm proud of you

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Car

**Date:** October 27th 2011 12.35pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I will head straight to college from here at 4.15pm. I should be home before 8.

Have you ordered the Aston Martin yet?

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Car

**Date:** October 27th 2011 12.42pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

I have indeed ordered the Aston. It is a beauty.

Sawyer will follow you to college in the Audi. He will be wearing jeans so he will 'blend' as you insist on putting it. I'm not sure why you are so concerned with Sawyers attire; your car is hardly inconspicuous!

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Car

**Date:** October 27th 2011 1.02pm

**To:** Christian Grey

Actually you're right. I'll leave the car and take the bus.

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Absolutely NOT

**Date:** October 27th 2011 1.04pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Over my dead body.

If this was meant as a joke it is not a good one.

Sawyer will take you. Taylor will bring your car home. Leave the Keys with Claire at reception

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Absolutely

**Date:** October 27th 2011 1.12pm

**To:** Christian Grey

What do you think will happen on the bus? It'll be fine. Sawyer can follow in the Audi.

I just gave my keys to Claire. She's expecting Taylor. Now stop bothering me, I have a pasta salad with chicken and pine nuts and a banana milkshake to get through. It's going to take a while and if I keep going like this I'll be fat as a hog before the month is out

Ana x

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** I SAID NO

**Date:** October 27th 2011 1.16am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

It's not happening Anastasia. My wife is not going to college on the bus - there are so many reasons why, it would take all afternoon to write them down. We will get you a less conspicuous little run around for college, but for now, go with Sawyer.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Don't push your luck

**Date:** October 27th 2011 2.25am

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Ana, why haven't you responded to my email?

I want to know you understand – YOU ARE NOT TO GO ON THE BUS

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **I heard you the first time

**Date:** October 27th 2011 3.16pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I heard you, I just don't agree with you.

Christian I have a lot to get through this afternoon of I am going to leave for college on time.

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Promise

**Date:** October 27th 2011 3.24pm

**To:** Anastasia Grey

Your email did not inspire confidence.

Promise me that you won't set foot on a bus or I'm coming over to take you myself.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Out of office

**Date:** October 27th 2011 3.25pm

**To:** Christian Grey

I will be out of the office until Friday 28th October.

Please call my assistant Hannah on x 6732 with any urgent queries

Regards

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Seattle Independent Publishing

It's 3.45 and I am sitting on the bus in the afternoon traffic on my way to my first lecture. It is still raining, and I have started to feel a little snuffley. I skipped out of the office a little early, partly to pick up a handy pack of Kleenex from the drug store, but mainly because I haven't taken a bus in Seattle since Christian and I broke up all those months ago and I need to make sure I'm not late. Also, truth be told, because I want to avoid Christian's inevitable email where he asks me to promise I won't defy him and take the bus, and before he orders Sawyer to stop me. Sawyer looked a little surprised. He's probably driving behind the bus now, being yelled at by Christian or Taylor as he briefs them that I jumped on the first bus that passed. Christian is going to be pissed of course, but I'll deal with him. I do not need to chauffeured to collage. I am perfectly safe and satisfyingly anonymous on a public bus. Sawyer _is _just behind us.

In an endeavour to remain anonymous, I slip my large and very sparkly engagement ring off and put it in a zip pocket in my purse, leaving just my wedding band. As I open my purse, I feel my blackberry vibrate before I hear the familiar strains of 'Your Love Is king'… _shit, here we go. _I can't ignore it now.

"Hello" I answer quietly. Christian responds just as quietly, but as forcefully as if he were screaming his words down the line. _How does he do that?_ It is a particular skill he has sure mastered.

"Anastasia, get off the bus at the next stop and get into the car with Sawyer."

"Shit Christian, I'll be at college in a few miles. I don't even know where the next stop is."

"Don't argue, just get off the damn bus."

"I don't want to."

"I don't care."

"But I…"

"NO Anastasia, NO 'BUTS'. Get off that bus or so help me I'll order Sawyer to pull out in front of it, force it to stop and take you off."

"Fine." I hang up. Now I'm mad. The bus pulls over and I jump out. Sawyer pulls up right behind, and I walk over getting into the passenger side. I can't bring myself to say anything to Sawyer, I'm so mad. I fold my arms and pout out of the window, imagining the fight I'd like to have with my husband. Sawyer discreetly calls Taylor.

"Mrs Grey is on board."

I roll my eyes.

We park and walk over to the business school. "Please Luke, just act natural and don't give me away on my first day. I could really do without these guys knowing who I'm married to on my foist day." Sawyer nods his assent. _He is certainly not a talker!_

The atmosphere of college is exciting and familiar. It seems like just a few weeks ago that it was me and Kate. A lot of the students look older than me, but there are some more recent post graduates too. I say hello to a few before we make our way into a large lecture theatre. Sawyer keeps his distance from most people. He carries a small backpack slung over one shoulder. I can't get used to the sight of him in stonewashed jeans and a t-shirt, with a plaid shirt over the top. I giggle when he catches my eye.

We head into the auditorium and I take a seat somewhere in the middle. Sawyer sits 2 rows behind. He is only 4 or 5 feet away but with a row of seats between us, the distance appears natural.

A girl with slightly crazy brown hair comes and sits to my left. She looks about my age.

"Hi, I'm Helen. I haven't seen you before?"

"No you won't have. Today is day one for me. I started late… family holiday." I don't get a chance to even give her my name before she spots someone over my shoulder and starts waving at them over enthusiastically. She holds her arm out, waving frantically toward whoever is approaching and starts to introduce me.

"This is John and this is Michael," Suddenly distracted by the lecturer arriving at the front of the auditorium, she forgets introductions and hushes us, putting finger to her lips, despite the fact nobody but her has said a word! "Oh shhhhh! I think we're about to get started." The guys lean over Helen and each hold out a hand in turn for me to shake, whispering hasty greetings. "Good to meet you." I am seized by an enormous sneeze. "Gezundheit" the lecturer calls up at me from the lecturn. I sink into my chair, blushing with embarrassment.

The lecture is a little dull to be honest and I find myself putting most of my energy into trying not to sniff or sneeze. It finishes after an hour. Michael and John get up to go, "Hey see you guys at Dante's?" they ask as they head off, joining another group of students. Helen explains the totally obvious in a stage whisper "A bunch of us are heading over to Dante's over on Roosevelt. It's a bar. We went last week. It's where everyone goes. Do you wanna come?

"Sure" Sawyer is still sitting 2 rows behind. I know he has to come. "Helen, have you met Luke? He's behind us. I'm not sure he has many friends. I met him at interview. Do you mind if he comes along… Maybe _you_ could ask him?"

"Sure!" she says before turning to Sawyer. "Hi, it's Luke isn't it? I'm Helen. We are gonna hit a bar with a bunch of the guys. Do you wanna join us?" I nod enthusiastically at Sawyer giving him the clear message –'_Say yes PLEASE'_.

"I'm err, not sure. I have work to do and I don't need my boss on my back." He replies knowingly. "Oh please Luke, come on. I'm going." I say, leaving him no choice.

"Um, well, okay. I can't stay late though."

"Oh sure. I have to be home by 8 in any case."

I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. I call Christian.

"Hi… are you still mad at me?" I tentatively inquire

"No more than usual… are you still mad at me?"

"No, I guess the moment has passed."

"Good. You are a pain in the ass sometimes Ana. I'd rather you didn't do that again. How was college?"

"Good. Actually I was just calling to say that Sawyer and I are going to get a drink with some of the guys. Bonding - you know."

"Oh…." There is a gaping pause.

"Christian?..."

"Who are these 'guys'?"

"I don't know yet. There is a girl called Helen, it's hard to get a word in edgeways with her; and two guys called Michael and John, and a whole bunch of other people I haven't met yet, I don't know there names, obviously. Then there's me of course and Lu…I mean Sawyer. We'll be home by 8. Promise"

"I'll come pick you up."

"No. Please, they'll recognise you. I want to be Ana, not 'Mrs Anastasia Grey' for a while - until they get to know me better."

"Are you ashamed of me?"  
"You know I'm not! Christian, this is an MBA … you are probably on the curriculum! Besides, it's an executive friendly programme, for all I know some of these people might work for you! How can I blend in once they know I'm your wife!"

"Okay. You'd better not me late. Your dinner will be ready for you at 8 sharp. And, if that is Michael Tate you are referring too, actually he started at GEH in July. We are sponsoring his MBA." _Is he a spy? Or has Christian done background checks on everyone on the programme?_

"Do you know the names of everyone on the programme?

"Of course…" I sigh and roll my eyes… "What did you expect… and stop rolling your eyes… you're not exactly in my good books today baby!"

I can hear humour in his voice.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours Christian. I love you."

"I love you too baby."

We order a pitcher of beer and sit at a large table. Helen is to my right, John and Michael to my left. There are nine of us altogether; Sawyer sits opposite with his glass of coke next to a very tall, slender and attractive woman about my age I think. Helen chats away so enthusiastically, as ever, nobody else really gets a word in. I don't think she has even noticed that she doesn't even know my name! She is animated, funny and charming, but boy can she talk! Helen is pretty, about my height with pale freckled skin and a mass of brown curly hair, very curly! It is piled up on top of her head in a crazy mass, corkscrew tendrils escaping every which way. Somehow it works! She is 24 and worked for a pharmaceutical company in their marketing department, but is now starting out on her own, trying to develop a range of natural beauty products. I like her despite her moter mouth, which I think is really just a sign that she's nervous. While she talks and talks and talks, Michael leans over…

"Hey, check out that Luke fella! What's his problem? Don't you think he's a little… out of place?"

"I think he's probably just shy." I take a long sip of beer.

"No, I don't think he's a student at all!"

"Sure he is! He was in our lecture"

"Yeah, he wasn't taking any notes though. No, I think he's a bodyguard"

I almost spit my beer out! _Shit so much for blending!_

"Yeah I know. You know word is Christian Grey's wife is on the programme. I'm sure that's her over there" He indicates with his glass that he is talking about the tall woman opposite, next top Sawyer.

"From what I hear, there is no way he'd let her out of his sight without a bodyguard. I work at his headquarters you know, - GEH Holdings; in their marketing department. Word is he is a total control freak and completely over the top about his wife" _No shit!_

"Really"

"You better believe it. She called herself Annie, but I'd bet you $100 that she's really Anastasia Grey."

"Her? Why her?"

"Okay, first, we all know Anastasia Grey is Bulimic right?"

"We do?" I am almost amused.

"Jeez, where have you been? Year… well 'Annie'…" He says using his fingers as quotation marks in that irritating way people do when they are trying o be funny.

"…'Annie' goes to the bathroom every time a morsel of food goes in her mouth. I've been watching. Then the other day, I saw her eating a huge box of French fries and drinking a milkshake… I'm sure she must have barfed it up. Just look at her… she can't weigh more than 100lbs but she is easily 5ft 7 or 8. That's not normal."

"Well as I weigh a little under 100lbs myself, I'm hardly one to comment on another woman's weight."

"Yeah, but that's different, you're naturally tiny!" _Jeez, how did this guy get into college, let alone GEH! He is a grade one numbskull!_

"Number two, everyone knows Mrs Grey a drinker...Well look, everyone else is having a beer, _she_ has vodka and soda!"

"Maybe she doesn't like beer?"

"No way!… Hard liquor… for a lady … just after 6pm? You mark my words, _that_ is Mrs Grey alright." I roll my eyes in despair of this man. He doesn't notice and carries on extolling his theories… "Did you know there is a crate of beer on her head?"

"What? What does _that_ mean?"

"Anastasia Grey… The first person to get her in the sack wins a crate of beer! I think I'm in with a good chance."

"Oh? What makes you think that?"

"Inside information. I have it on very good authority that Christian Grey is a total jerk who has a very high opinion of himself. He's overbearing, manipulative, ruthless, moody, controlling, and generally a very angry man… I hear from one of the girls at work that he insisted she loose weight which is why she started throwing up in the first place! You don't get to be a Billionaire before you are 26 years old by being nice do you? From what I hear he's enough to drive anyone to drink. I'll bet she's just looking for a normal, good looking guy like me to scoop her up and carry her away from the megalomaniac!"

"I see. And you don't think that the fact she is married to one onf the richest men in America and probably the best looking guy in the northern hemisphere would dent your chances any?" He looks a little crestfallen, before taking another swig of his beer and changing the subject.

"Anyhow, enough of the mysterious Mrs Grey over there… have you got a boyfriend?"

"No, I'm married."

"Ahh, and where do you work?"

"I'm in publishing. Seattle Independent Publishing actually."

"Oh. That's one of ours isn't it? I mean it's a GEH company?"

"Uh yeah, I believe it was a recent acquisition."

Sawyer is looking at his watch and I know what he's thinking. I'm getting pissed off with this guy anyhow. I think I might have a little fun at his expense.

"What did you say your name was again?"

"I didn't"

"Oh, well, what _is_ your name…?"

"Could you just excuse me a moment…. Luke?" I call over to Sawyer "Do you think we should go?" I ask pointing at my watch. I notice with satisfaction the quizzical expression on Michael's face.

"Is he with you?" Sawyer comes over and stands behind me.

"Yes. Luke Sawyer meet Michael um, I don't know your last name."

"Tate, Michael Tate. Good to meet you Luke." He says holding hot his hand for Sawyer to shake. "Gee sorry, I guess I got that bit wrong. Is he your husband?"

"No" I say smiling and giggling a little. "He's my bodyguard"

Michael laughs, "yeah… Good one"

"No, really. My name is Ana. You know, short for Anastasia"

"Are we ready to go now Mrs Grey?" Sawyer interjects. I stand and turn back towards Michael who is open mouthed and blushing a little with embarrassment.

"Pleased to meet you Michael Tate, I'm Anastasia Grey." I hold out my hand for him to shake and there is a noticeable hush as Helen and John stop talking for the first time this evening and turn, also open mouthed, to stare at me. Michael takes my hand and shakes it somewhat limply. "I think that really is out cue to go." I turn to Sawyer and say loud enough for all three of them to hear… "Christian said dinner would be at 8. You know how he is, always trying to feed me up!" Michael looks mortified. "See you next week Michael, oh and don't believe everything you read!"

As we leave, I can hear Michael urgently quizzing Helen… "You didn't ask her her name?! Jeez Helen, you made me look like an idiot!"

We walk over to the parking lot fast, coats pulled tight against the rain. I climb into the back of the Audi feeling damp and cold and I have to confess, a little hungry. I sneeze four times… _Shit I hope that's not the start of a cold!_

As we drive back to Escala, my mind wanders. Helen was nice, but I hope she calms down a little. But what about Michael? Holy shit, if Christian ever finds out there is a 'crate of beer on my head', as he so chivalrously put it; or just about anything else he said tonight, well, it wouldn't be kicking him out of his job that Michael Tate would have to worry about. I think Christian might actually knock him off the planet!


	35. Chapter 35 - Kleenex

**_Sorry everyone, I broke my left arm and have it in a cast from wrist to shoulder. I couldn't write for a few days. I am not the best typist at the best of times as you may have noticed, but I am even worse and slower now. I have lots more to come so please bear with me!_**

I have a bowl of chilli con carne with a little rice and Some tortilla chips waiting for me when I get home. A hot and spicy dinner at the end of a wet and miserable day. My nose is streaming now and I feel full of cold. Dinner might be hot, but not as hot as my husband, who in wearing jeans and a fine knit pale blue, cashmere sweater that shows off his well defined upper body to perfection.

I cannot taste the Chilli. My nose is stuffed up, and I can't stop sniffing.

"So, how was it?"

"I don't really know, I can't taste much."

"Not the Chilli! How was college?"

"Oh, okay I guess. Can't say the lecture really gripped me. I was concentrating more on trying not to sneeze."

"And did you have a good time 'bonding' after?"

"Hmmm, it was okay I guess. I totally blew my cover though so no need to worry about driving to college in my car anymore… except for the speed bumps of course. I found out the other day R8's do not like speed bumps!" Christian pauses, narrowing his eyes as if analysing me…

"What made you break cover?"

"It seemed a pointless exercise pretending. That jackass Michael Tate started telling me how Christian Grey's wife was on the program. He'd have found out it was me in the end so I figured it'd be better just to tell him. I don't want to end up with everyone thinking _I'm_ a jackass." I briefly look at him, but under his scrutinizing glare, I quickly look away and blush, trying to focus of the bowl of chilli in front of me.

"So… ?" he asks, his voice loaded with expectation

"So…. What?"

"So, what did Michael Tate say that made you brand him a jackass just now?" _Shit… Christian doesn't miss anything…why did I have to call him a jackass?_

"Oh…well I just didn't really warm to him, you know."

"Really?" I can feel my cheeks blushing scarlet.

"Oh stop it Christian…"

"What, exactly would you like me you stop?" he asks, knowing perfectly well that I am squirming under his inquiring stare.

"Stop doing that x-ray stare thing on me… You're making me feel…guilty"

"Perhaps if you tell me what it is you are trying so desperately to hide, you'll alleviate your guilty feelings?

"I am not trying to hide anything" I lie, but my blushes have already given me away.

"I always know when you are keeping something from me. It's written all over your face. I want you to tell me what did Michael Tate say to earn your vitriol?"

"Hardly vitriol! He just ticked me off that's all…"

"Quit stalling and tell me… or do I have to spank it out of you?"

"Jeez Christian, is that your answer to everything?"

"When it is to do with you concealing things from me… yes." He flashes me a dazzling, full tooth smile and winks. I roll my eyes.

"Okay Christian, if it will shut you up. But please, promise you won't go off at the deep end?" His eyes narrow.

"That would depend on what Mr Tate said now wouldn't it?"

"Please Christian, it's really nothing. He's obviously been gossiping with some of his junior co workers at GEH, none of whom have probably even met you… You know what it's like, it's kinda the norm to hate the boss!" Christian cocks his head and raises an eyebrow at me sceptically. "Okay, so he said you were a jerk. I think he used the words manipulative and overbearing… Sounds about right if you ask me…" I mumble the last part as I take another small fork full of chilli into my mouth. Christian sits motionless and stares at me. "What?" I protest at his unshakable gaze.

"What else?" I blush again, confirming his suspicions that this is not what made me mad. I sigh, pushing my half finished chilli across the counter, away me. _I cannot tell him about the crate of beer on my head! He'd never let me out again and he'd tear Michael limb from limb!_

I stand, my nose about to stream in a most unflattering manner. "Anastasia, sit down. You haven't finished your dinner and you haven't finished telling me what happened today."

"I AM GOING to get a Kleenex!"

I fumble around in my purse for Kleenex, while I fumble around in my thoughts, figuring out what to tell be overprotective husband and how to tell him in a way that will stop him crushing Michael Tate like a bug. I thought the guy was a jackass sure, but he didn't really mean any malice, he was just being a jerk off the way guys do. I'm sure it was all bluster. I glance over to my husband, who sits, arms folded at the breakfast bar, watching me. I blow my nose ostentatiously, and retake my seat beside him. "Okay, okay. I don't think the guy meant any harm... he was just jerking off at the mouth, probably trying to impress me. He obviously reads the tabloids or Seattle Nooze." I look up at him trying to gauge his reaction. His face is impassive. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. "He was extolling, with great authority, how he knew Anastasia Grey was actually the girl opposite was me, and how she was obviously bulimic, and of course everyone knows Ana Grey barfs up everything she eats, oh yeah, and I'm alcoholic too apparently. It pissed me off. I couldn't resist telling him who I was and that he shouldn't believe everything he reads."

"The guy is an asshole. He wanted to get into your panties"

"He did not. You always thing everyone wants to get into my panties."

"And I've been right every time. Forget about him Ana, he's gone."

"NO! Please don't. Everyone will know you fired him because of me."

"You think I should continue to fund the guys MBA and pay his salary? No fucking way."

"This is precisely why I didn't want to tell you. And I can't eat anymore. I'm full and I don't feel good. I'm going to have a bath."

I get up and quickly head for the bathroom. Christian doesn't follow. I'm surprised. I half expect to feel his steely grip around my waist, as he guides me back to by unfinished dinner and a lecture on the dangers of strange men!

I run the bath, and feel instant relief as steam fills the room. I undress and look at my face in the mirror. My hair looks lank and straggly, my nose red, my eyes watery and half closed. I turn to the side and notice my no longer perfectly flat stomach. Is that a little pot belly? I have certainly filled out a bit. I guess I am still slim by some peoples standards, but I don't like it. I feel bloated and heavy. I have no intention of starving myself again; I can't do that to Christian… those emails I read really cut me to the quick. Maybe bulimia isn't such a terrible idea, with a belly full of chilli, it is certainly tempting. I wonder if I _could_? Lost in thought as I pinch the flesh of my belly and but, trying to figure out how much is fat, I am surprised when I look up to see Christian reflected in the mirror, standing behind me.

"That's a doozy of a cold you're nursing" I blush again, feeling like I just got caught doing something I shouldn't

"I know. It came out of nowhere."

"I brought you some orange juice. I sent Taylor out for decongestant… Shall I put some eucalyptus oil in the bath? It might help with your blacked nose?"

"Yes please."

"Ana, don't worry about Michael Tate. Let me think about it. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable at school baby but I don't want a jackass who insults my wife working for me either. If he has a future in my organisation I need satisfy myself that today was just poor judgement and bravado. Do you trust me?" I have to think about that one….

"Please _do_ think about it. You can't just wreck someone's life because of a few stupid remarks."

"You get in the bath. I'll go see if Taylor is back from the drugstore."

_Wow, he didn't say anything about catching me looking horrified at my own reflection, or about me not finishing dinner. Could this be him easing up on the whole eating disorder thing? I hope so. I'm tired of it, and I don't wanna get any fatter._

Christian returns a few minutes later with a couple of large capsules; powerful decongestants apparently. I struggle to swallow them down with several glugs of OJ, but eventually they are gone. Christian leaves me to my bath, darting off to make a few calls. I have no doubt that he is calling Welch and GEH, HR department, digging up anything there is on Michael that has not already been found.

After a long bath, I climb out, wrapping myself in my favourite fluffy white robe. I dress in fluffy PJ's that I find in the bottom of one of my drawers, and a thick pair of socks.

I wander back into the great room.

"How are you feeling baby?" Christian is standing in the kitchen, looking slightly out of place as he looks in cupboards for something.

"I'm fine, it's just a cold. What _are_ you looking for?"

"That whizzy stick thing you use for frothing milk and stuff"

"Oh I know, the little whisk. I think Gail keeps it in there" I say pointing to the large cupboard on the left. "Why do you want it?"

"I got Taylor to pick some protein shakes when he was at the drugstore." I don't like the sound of this.

"What for?"

"You couldn't finish your dinner baby… I understand. But it's more important now that you get all your calories than ever, while you're sick."

"I'm not SICK! I have a cold! And I don't want a protein shake – eeeww!"

"Well I'm sorry about that, but you are having one."

"Is this because I didn't finish the chilli? I couldn't finish it and I couldn't taste it!"

"I know Ana. I'm not mad, but you need to keep those calories up, especially when your immune system is low. I know it's hard."

"You don't know! I have put on so much weight Christian I'm beginning to look fat!" He closes his eyes as if in pain at my words.

"Don't ever let me he you say that again. Go weigh yourself. If you are less than 100 pounds, which I know you are, you are still seriously underweight. You're not really healthy until you get up to 108."

Is it worth fighting this battle that I know I have absolutely no chance of winning? Maybe I could barf it up? Could I?

I take the shake. Put the straw to my lips and take a sip. I can't really taste that either of course; it's raspberry or something I think.

I don't want it, but, under Christian's unshakable gaze, I put the straw to my lips again and continue to sip, closing my eyes and forcing myself to swallow. I eventually drain the cup.

Feeling uncomfortably full and bloated, I confess the temptation to lock myself in the bathroom and barf up the contents of my stomach is profound. I resist it only by remembering the words Christian wrote in his emails to Dr. Flynn and Dr. Knight; I might feel mad at him now, but I don't want to cause him more pain than I already have. Also I imagine how he'd react if he heard me or figured out what I was doing. That would not be pretty!.

Instead I disappear into the library, choosing a good book to distract me and curling up in the big chair to read. I'm trying not to pout, but with my nose streaming, feeling fat and ugly, it is hard. I can't help it, right now, I feel sorry for myself. Maybe losing myself in Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca will take my mind off my woes.

The door silently opens. I don't look up from the pages of my book but I can feel his presence like electricity. The door clicks shut behind him and I feel the distance between us closing. He stands silently in front of me, and I manage not to waver, staring unseeing at the words on the page in front of me.

"Are you going to sulk all night?" I am beyond irritated by his question. I studiously ignore him and take the handkerchief from my pocket, monogrammed CTG in the corner, and blow my nose, before burying my face back in my book.

"I see." I can detect a note of amusement in his tone. It irritates me that he finds my discomfort funny in the slightest!

"You are cute when you sulk you know." He says, putting his thumb to my chin, playfully tickling under my jaw. I am having none of it and bat his hand away.

"I see I am going to have to take drastic action to jolt you out of this pout" he says. He reaches down, taking my right wrist in his hand, and jerks hard on my arm, pulling me upright. I open my mouth to whine at him, but before I can utter a syllable, he bends dawn, clamping me around the back of my knees, and throws me over his shoulder.

"What are you doing!" I squeal in protest

"I am taking your mind off your troubles."

I drop my book as we leave the room and he plants a ringing slap on my upturned ass. We arrive at our bedroom and he lowers me onto the bed. Before I get a chance to speak, his lips are on mine. He kisses me hard and I am taken aback. "With that cold you're nursing baby, we'd better make this fast," he whispers, urgently, "hard and fast."

"Yes" is all I can think to say. I don't know if it is because I was feeling mad, but this is what I want; no, it is what I need.

"turn over" he commands, I comply. He yanks my pj's down and I shake them off. Kneeling up on the bed I pull my pyjama top over my head, while Christian undoes his belt and unbuttons his fly. I an Kneeling up on the edge of our bed, naked, facing away from my husband. He hooks me around my waist, pulling me toward him, then places a hand on my back, bending me over. My legs are apart and my sex is exposed. Christian's hands grip my waist firmly, guiding my hips backward a fraction, guiding my expectant opening onto him, and backwards, until he fills me. He thrusts, and again, hard, making gasps escape my lips. He is pounding me, with each thrust I feel his pelvis hit my bottom, as the tip of him connects deep within me. I'm coming; fast now, I'm coming to my glorious crescendo. I unravel completely as I feel Christian spilling into me. We collapse on the bed, me face down and naked next to Christian, jeans open but still on, on his back next to me, one arm underneath me.

"Better?" he asks, a twinkle in his eye

"Kleenex!" I reply urgently, trying to suppress another sneeze. He leans over me to the box on the nightstand, and hands me a Kleenex. I promptly sneeze and blow.

"Well…" I say as I finish "…I guess you won the crate of beer!"

"What?" he answers confused… _Shit I didn't tell him about the crate of beer on my head for the first guy who beds Anastasia Grey._

"Nothing"

"Crate of beer? Is _that_ what that jackass Tate said? A crate of beer for a fuck?"

"No … I …"

"Don't you dare lie Ana… I went to college. I know what college boys are like."

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd go postal"

"Too late for that now. You'd better tell me everything, then Michael Tate is history."


End file.
